The Secret To Dating A Thai Woman...

[Chittychangchang]

If you're a Western man who is interested in finding out how to date a Thai woman, then you've come to the right place. Learning how to date a Thai woman can help cut away hours of frustration and misunderstandings. Thai women are just like any other woman.They want someone to love and cherish them and want to be treated with respect. Although Thailand has a bad reputation as being one of the countries with a lot of sex workers, the truth is that the average Thai woman is a person of morals, values and most importantly, is still a human being.
As you are learning how to date a Thai woman, you may be confused by a lot of their ways. Many Western women are outspoken and blunt, and Thai culture, as a general rule, is not this way. They don't like to be confronted and don't like to confront other people. They do not like to be embarrassed and we don't like to embarrass others. This may be translated by a Western man as a lack of honesty or sincerity, but it can't be further from the truth. Thai culture believes that it is better to say nothing at all than to say something negative or hurtful.
Thai women are also more conservative than Western women. Unless you're dating a sex worker or a prostitute, the average Thai woman will not sleep with you on the first date. It is considered a very bad thing for a Thai woman to be seen as sexually promiscuous. She receives a lot of ridicule from friends, family and society.
Another problem that exists is prejudice. If a Thai woman is seen with a Western boyfriend, a lot of people think she is a BG, even though she may really love her boyfriend or husband and has met him under very wholesome circumstances. This prejudice is on both Thai and Western sides.
Because of all of this, you want to be sure that you treat your Thai lady with respect, honor and love. When asking her out for a date, do so gently and discreetly. As you're dating her, don't try to make sexual advances on the first, second, or even third date. In fact, it's best not to even bring up the topic of sex, so she knows that you are a gentleman with sincere motives. Don't be afraid to make small gifts for her, such as a flower, a poem, or chocolate or even chilli's. You don't have to impress her with expensive gifts, and in fact if she does expect expensive gifts, then she's probably not for you.
The only difference in learning how to date a Thai woman is understanding more about her culture and heritage, because inherently, she is still a woman and therefore will love and dislike the very same things that so many other women do.
As a side note, if you are one of those Western men, that can't seem to make things work with women from your own culture, then going to Thai women, may not be an easy answer. Although Thai women are in general considered more feminine and sensual, they still have needs, wants, dreams and desires like any other woman. Learning how to date a Thai woman is not that much different than learning how to date any woman.
CCC

[Amusements]

I thought the secret was to never have an empty wallet!

[Tonto21]

Hey ‘CCC’

I really have been fighting the temptation to say something witty, but I think you will get plenty ‘rib-tickler’ replies to your post.

Fact is I do agree with a lot of what you say….But claiming to have ‘The Secret To Dating A Thai Women’……..That’s tantamount to claiming ‘you understand woman! Good luck with that.

What’s your take on platting fog and the best way to get started?

[greg71]

And which plastic planet are you from ? needs , wants , dreams ,desires ? bro its cash, simple fact indeed if the wallet is empty so are you .disagree with me ? then go tell a woman u have no cash etc see how far that gets you .maybe she will politely smile and say its ok but no money does indeed means no honey

[JLCrab]

I guess each to his own secrets but in my personal experience the young non-BG Thai lady was by far the aggressor party.

[thaifkrlim]

this secret is sort of common sense

[Swiss1960]

CCC: very nicely written, agree mostly with you.

And which plastic planet are you from ? needs , wants , dreams ,desires ? bro its cash, simple fact indeed if the wallet is empty so are you .disagree with me ? then go tell a woman u have no cash etc see how far that gets you .maybe she will politely smile and say its ok but no money does indeed means no honey

greg: and where is the difference between Thai and "other" women? tell your GF at home that you're broke and see how long she stays with you...

[Berkshire]

Hey Chitty dude, I hesitated to read your OP, half expecting some "hansum man" sort of farang to give some ridiculous advice which would reinforce myths rather than provide useful recommendations.

But to your credit, good, balanced piece. And as a generalization, it's hard to disagree with most of what you said. The only other advice I'd add is to learn Thai. Most "normal" Thai women don't speak much English and even if they do, nearly all prefer to speak Thai in social situations.

Anyways, expect some craziness in this thread, which is what usually happens when farang men talk about Thai women.

[muythai2013]

if my wife wanted money she certainly came to the wrong man, yet she has been with me and for years.

I don't agree that people look at them like a bargirl if their with a farang, Thai people can usually spot a Bargirl.

perhaps if the age gap is great they may think that.

[thenervoussurgeon]

And which plastic planet are you from ? needs , wants , dreams ,desires ? bro its cash, simple fact indeed if the wallet is empty so are you .disagree with me ? then go tell a woman u have no cash etc see how far that gets you .maybe she will politely smile and say its ok but no money does indeed means no honey

You my friend hang around the wrong areas and the wrong sort of women ,if you date hookers then you are dead right ,but when you meet and make friends with decent Thais its a different game altogether.

[slapout]

Experts are sometimes known by their success ratio/history over a long peroid of time, and need little self advertisement. Those that have met with failure, (struck out) many times are not normally sought after for their expertise, but their entertaining stories, then you have those who listen to other peoples stories of success/failure and pass this hear say along as first hand knowledge.

Most successful men or women seem to keep the critial knowledge of success, to themselves, just to keep the playing field at a level that is not a threat to them.

[nontabury]

CCC

A very good piece,well done.

[muythai2013]

construct your arguments in a manner so its resolved but they somehow think they win, and your good.

[nontabury]

MUYTHIA 2013

if my wife wanted money she certainly came to the wrong man, yet she has been with me and for years. I don't agree that people look at them like a bargirl if their with a farang, Thai people can usually spot a Bargirl. perhaps if the age gap is great they may think that.

I take it that you are referring to relationships,were the Thai female is much older then the Farang man.As I know of at least two relationships were the wives are older than their Farang husband,one of them by many years,both the females are far from beautiful "oh" and of course they are both ex-BG's. I also know of two very beautiful non Ex BG's who are married with husbands more than 30yrs older. Strange old world in't it. Edited March 22, 2013 by nontabury

[JLCrab]

A poem?

[USNret]

And which plastic planet are you from ? needs , wants , dreams ,desires ? bro its cash, simple fact indeed if the wallet is empty so are you .disagree with me ? then go tell a woman u have no cash etc see how far that gets you .maybe she will politely smile and say its ok but no money does indeed means no honey

You my friend hang around the wrong areas and the wrong sort of women ,if you date hookers then you are dead right ,but when you meet and make friends with decent Thais its a different game altogether.

Well written piece; it captured a lot of what I've already been thinking on the matter.

As far as the money-incentive, I'm with Doc on this one. A no-money, no-honey deal clearly indicates you didn't get "one of the good ones." My wife's a keeper -- frugal, reluctant to spend money even when I encourage her to. I trust her implicitly in all matters, financial or otherwise. When we moved to Japan, I had to force her to take an allowance -- money she was not accountable to me for. She didn't want any so I established an allowance of $150/month which, for Japan, ain't much. She mostly bought household items with this, whatever clothes & make-up she needed, and gave me part of it back nearly every month.

As I said, she's a keeper.

[rsokolowski]

this secret is sort of common sense

Common sense does seem to be a secret to many people, so maybe the OP title is apt.

[USNret]

It couldn't be said better than this: The words of David, from Proverbs 31. If it is your heart's desire, there are women to be found like this, in Thailand and elsewhere.

¹⁰ How hard it is to find the perfect wife.
She is worth far more than jewels.
¹¹ Her husband depends on her.
He will never be poor.
¹² She does good for her husband all her life.
She never causes him trouble.
¹³ She is always gathering wool and flax
and enjoys making things with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like a ship from a faraway place.
She brings home food from everywhere.
¹⁵ She wakes up early in the morning,
cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share.
¹⁶ She looks at land and buys it.
She uses the money she has earned and plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She works very hard.
She is strong and able to do all her work.
¹⁸ She works late into the night
to make sure her business earns a profit.
¹⁹ She makes her own thread
and weaves her own cloth.
²⁰ She always gives to the poor
and helps those who need it.
²¹ She does not worry about her family when it snows.
She has given them all good, warm clothes.
²² She makes sheets and spreads for the beds,
and she wears clothes of fine linen.
²³ Her husband is a respected member of the city council,
where he meets with the other leaders.
²⁴ She makes clothes and belts
and sells them to the merchants.
²⁵ She is a strong person, and people respect her.
She looks to the future with confidence.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom
and teaches others to be loving and kind.
²⁷ She oversees the care of her house.
She is never lazy.
²⁸ Her children say good things about her.
Her husband brags about her and says,
²⁹ “There are many good women,
but you are the best.”
³⁰ Grace and beauty can fool you,
but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
³¹ Give her the reward she deserves.
Praise her in public for what she has done.

[talk2sam]

Master piece.. Sum it all up.

[Adventure1]

Me

[JLCrab]

That Proverb 31 is a good one. Of course it omits the fact that David had 6 or 7 wives and children with numerous other concubines.

"Grace and beauty can fool you..." Life is short. I'm willing to be fooled.

Edited March 22, 2013 by JLCrab

[onionluke]

¹³ She is always gathering wool and flax

could be interpreted into a modern setting of household bliss as - She is always picking the fluff from my navel

thanks David

[rene123]

I always ask the same question... Just what is a "DATE" with a women intended to lead up to? Is it for a possible long term relationship or just to get into her pants? If it is the latter then it's better to go for the rental version. Conversation with a Thai woman is limited if you don't speak the language fluently, so if it is conversation that you want then you are better off sticking to women of your own culture.

[Plastic Brontosaurus]

Good piece. However for some more in-depth cross-cultural info there's a book called "Thailand Fever" - it's yellow with red lettering and most bookstores will have it.

The name of the book is a bit awkward I think but it's a good read. It has English on one page and the Thai translation on the facing page and is meant to help falang-Thai relationships "cross the cultural divide". It was recommended to me and I agree with about 90% of the content, far as I can judge it. Worth to have a look at, can be useful for both partners.

[somdej]

And which plastic planet are you from ? needs , wants , dreams ,desires ? bro its cash, simple fact indeed if the wallet is empty so are you .disagree with me ? then go tell a woman u have no cash etc see how far that gets you .maybe she will politely smile and say its ok but no money does indeed means no honey

You my friend hang around the wrong areas and the wrong sort of women ,if you date hookers then you are dead right ,but when you meet and make friends with decent Thais its a different game altogether.

rubbish..... money money money...... BG or not

[USNret]

Good piece. However for some more in-depth cross-cultural info there's a book called "Thailand Fever" - it's yellow with red lettering and most bookstores will have it.

The name of the book is a bit awkward I think but it's a good read. It has English on one page and the Thai translation on the facing page and is meant to help falang-Thai relationships "cross the cultural divide". It was recommended to me and I agree with about 90% of the content, far as I can judge it. Worth to have a look at, can be useful for both partners.

Sounds fun. Can we assume the Thai translation on the facing page says "Farang fever"?

[JLCrab]

Regarding reading "Thailand Fever":

“I rarely seek out the opinion of others … I have my own opinions” — Fran LebowitzF

Edited March 22, 2013 by JLCrab

[007dave]

Not that it really makes a difference to the discussion, just to let you know, Solomon wrote Proverbs 31... and he had more than 6 or 7 wives. ! Wisdom may not be comprehensive.

[JLCrab]

Solomon or David. No big deal. I've still got some catching up to do.

[Kitbaikitmah]

May I suggest a follow-up article 'The Secret of Dating a Thai Woman and Her Family'.

This is where the real secrets and pit-falls lie...from my experiance anyway...advice eagerly awaited.