Warning - A Groaner

[kevjohn]

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there’s a

woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the
bus and is killed. At the trial the man
is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he’s sent to the electric chair.

On the day of his execution he’s sat in the chair and the

executioner grants him a final wish.

“Well” says the man, “Is that your packed lunch over there?”

“Yes” answers the executioner. “Can I have that green banana?”

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits

till he’s eaten it. When the man’s finished, the executioner flips the switch
sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears
the man is still alive. The executioner can’t believe it.

“Can I go?” the man asks. “I suppose so” says the

executioner, “That’s never happened before.”

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses

selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed.

The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the

electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs
the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The bloke again sat in the chair. “What is your final wish?”

asks the executioner. “Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?” says
the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.

The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips

the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When
the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The
executioner can’t believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the

buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on,
this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again.

The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply

to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the
chair smiling.

“What’s your final wish?” asks the executioner. “Well” says

the man, “Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?” The
executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included.

The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go

through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive
without even a burn mark.

“I give up” says the executioner, “I don’t understand how

you can still be alive after all that?”. He stroked his chin. “It’s something
to do with that green banana isn’t it” he asked.

Nahh” said the bloke, “This is all because I’m just a really

bad conductor”