Getting Older.. Who Is Gonna Look After You ?

[Hecate]

When i get old and past it, i'll reside at that large carehome city by the sea.

Hua Hin?

[billd766]

I have discussed this a lot with myThai wife and she tells m that she will look after me until I die.

I believe this 100% as I live and trust my wife.

At the moment her mum is living with us and will do so until she dies. Oddly enough she is a year younger than me at 67.

I have told her that in the worst case and I am sent to hospital to get me out asap as I do have an alternative plan for me.

I have also told her that she is NOT to spend any money or her gold in keeping me alive as I have had a grea life with few things worth regretting.

I am the past.

My wife is the present.

Our son is the future.

They are the ones who will need the money when I am gone, not me.

Though my body will be cremated my spirit will always be around them both as I love them so much.

[super22k]

It is not just a matter of possibly becoming mentaly or physically ill as you get older. It is the possibility there could be a civil war in Thailand. I mean the red shirts v yellow shirts. They are shadow boxing now but if Thaksin ignites the flame all hell could break loose.What does someone who has lost their marbles do then?<br /><br />You could say our respective governments would organise flights out,but what if the planes get full.What will we do. This does not only apply to the elderly but also to the super confident 30-ish types who we assume know everything.

[jayceenik]

Thailand retirement and long term care communities:

Vela Casa & Rongvorawan in Pattaya

http://www.retirement-home-thailand.com/index.php

[how241]

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ? After he had his fun and GF has his money he will try to freeload off you or me I hate old white men I guess it will be you

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ?

Nursing home, care centre, call it what you like, another is to hire his own caregiver, and I dont mean some unqualified Issan field worker.

+1

[rubberduck]

Thailand retirement and long term care communities:

Vela Casa & Rongvorawan in Pattaya

http://www.retirement-home-thailand.com/index.php

Hahaha including a photo of Pattaya hookers instead of professional nurses. Perhaps they are the ones they hire to clean your diapers

Edited April 3, 2013 by rubberduck

[billd766]

It is not just a matter of possibly becoming mentaly or physically ill as you get older. It is the possibility there could be a civil war in Thailand. I mean the red shirts v yellow shirts. They are shadow boxing now but if Thaksin ignites the flame all hell could break loose.What does someone who has lost their marbles do then?<br /><br />You could say our respective governments would organise flights out,but what if the planes get full.What will we do. This does not only apply to the elderly but also to the super confident 30-ish types who we assume know everything.

Why would I want to leave Thailand.

Should I just say to them one day, things are getting a bit rough bteween the Reds and Yellows so I am going to bugger off to my old country where it is safer.

I hope you get on OK without me. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

There will be at least one seat free for you anyway and it will be mine.

It is my home and my family are here and this is where I will be too.

[oldsailor35]

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ? After he had his fun and GF has his money he will try to freeload off you or me I hate old white men I guess it will be you

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ?

Nursing home, care centre, call it what you like, another is to hire his own caregiver, and I dont mean some unqualified Issan field worker.

"Unqualified Isaan field worker" mmmmmmmmm my 87 yr old friend has recently had a major operation on Samui.

He was looked after (for an agreed price) after the big op. At times he had no control over his bowels, had to have dressings changed every day with unscrupulous care and hygiene, bathed , fed like a baby and nursed generally. At one stage he contracted an infection, possibly brought in by a visitor. She sat up several nights holding him administering his meds etc.................Guess what, that 30 yr old "Florence Nightingale" was a lady he met in a bar from one of your Isaan fields. Both he and his family will ever be thankful to her. So please do not label all Isaan field girls as being useless. He is now up and about again thanks to no one else but her. Incidentally, the sugeon invited her to witness the operation and take photographs strange as it might seem. They instructed her how to care for him and issued her with a compact kit from the hospital. Where would you get all this care in any western country.

[oldsailor35]

Thailand retirement and long term care communities:

Vela Casa & Rongvorawan in Pattaya

http://www.retirement-home-thailand.com/index.php

What a great conception, i had no idea that there were places like these. Does anybody know if there are any in other places in Thailand for retirees.

[Morakot]

I intend to go out with a bang, preferbaly of the highest calibre I can get my hands on and put the pointy end in my mouth.

Your arthritic fingers will let you down, assuming you'll still remember any of this prior to the onset of your Alzheimer's.

So why not keep yourself in good shape to avoid any of this?

Edited April 3, 2013 by Morakot

[moggie]

i have seen my mother and father die slowly at 85 alzheimers etc etc......wearing pads, taking 6 tablets a day, not pretty.....

i have just turned 60 and my standard of life is better than cold wet england

i will go with a bang at 80, balcony messy.gun in mouth messy i think just a massive overdose............ a long sleep.....perfect

my kids can sell the car and carve up what is left, not much i hope!!! just enjoy every day!!!! dont think about the future

have a good time........ invites will go out in feb 2033......u are all invited!!!!

[jayceenik]

A luxury, adult care, retirement facility in Thailand


Care Resort Chiang Mai is a luxury adult care retirement facility in Thailand. The resort provides both 'independent living with care' and 'close care' with on-site nursing and care support. The main languages spoken in the seniors care facility are English and Thai. Our aim is to give a quality of life; a piece of luxury, to those who require more care in their later life. The provision of retirement care in Thailand may be more affordable than you think, in a country renowned for its high class, cost-effective medical services. We have opened this resort is to provide a level of luxury and comfort that can only be dreamed of in a retirement community. The resort has a small Alzheimer's care facility

http://www.careresortchiangmai.com/

Nursing Resort Pattaya enables your loved ones (and you) to maintain a well-deserved quality of life. Our experienced, compassionate and rigorously screened caregivers allow them to do just that.

http://nursingresortpattaya.wordpress.com/

[khunPer]

Simple if you are Swedish! You will go back home, and your “back-home government” will export you for retirement care in Thailand, all paid by the Swedish tax-payers.

For all of us getting closer to a senior, and who are not from Sweden, it is a good question.

I must rely of my GF and kid , may own savings, and trying to be fit for as long as possible. I cannot imagine returning to my home country and end up alone in a retired old people institution – must be a lot better here.

I think, I shall rather aim for a future like in Lounger's story about the mentor: »…about 90 I saw coming out of a hotel lift supported by two young girls wearing black leather.«

[Beetlejuice]

Don`t worry about it.

We get old, and then we die, it will come soon enough, and if you’ve been a decent person, you go to heaven.

Once in Heaven, there will be no more, hello hansum man, no more, how much you give me, but it will be the real deal.

Well, a little of dreaming and fantasy does not do anyone any harm. It takes the sharpness out of worrying.

Edited April 3, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[pattayadingo]

Don`t worry about it.

We get old, and then we die, it will come soon enough, and if you’ve been a decent person, you go to heaven.

Once in Heaven, there will be no more, hello hansum man, no more, how much you give me, but it will be the real deal.

Well, a little of dreaming and fantasy does not do anyone any harm. It takes the sharpness out of worrying.

If that is heaven, let me go there quick!!

[JLCrab]

Who will take care of me? One can never tell but hopefully the one's that I am taking care of now.

[saroq]

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ? After he had his fun and GF has his money he will try to freeload off you or me I hate old white men I guess it will be you

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ?

Nursing home, care centre, call it what you like, another is to hire his own caregiver, and I dont mean some unqualified Issan field worker.

I don't recall every reading such a venomous post from you. If i remember correctly, you've always posted very sensible and reasonable replies and comments.

There is nothing wrong in receiving care from an unqualified Isaan field worker. My own mother was unqualified, yet she gave me all the care that I could have ever wanted and probably more than I deserved.

Someone's very sensitive. An accurate post because as you get older your needs (probably medical) are going to be beyond the capabilities of your loving mother.

[crazykopite]

I will worry about that when the day comes around which I hope is many years off here on Samui there is a private old peoples residence I often see elderly farangs being wheeled aroun Tescos by a care worker infact IO would bet on it that they are better looked after here than back in the UK, a friend of mine passed on last year and was cremated at the local temple they could not do enough and for 3 days whilst he lay in all his splender there was a Thai person at the temple throughout the time his body was there I will be going the same way when the time comes !!!!!

[saroq]

I don't doubt that my loving wife will take care of me and change my adult diaper when I get to that stage. If it turns out to be very bad news and huge medical bills then it'll be "the really good pain killers" until I expire. I've seen a number of people spend a bucket load to postpone the inevitable and don't think I'll do the same. I plan to have enough cash to hire a nurse if required and to leave my wife with a residual income to provide a comfortable life for her for the 30 odd years she'll outlive me by.

As for your old relative, he made his choices so let him live with the consequences.

[rubberduck]

Does someone knows if already there is an independant website about getting older in Thailand that gives a complete and up-to-date overview and tips and advice etc. ? If not I may start one, with some help of others. It could be useful.

Edited April 3, 2013 by rubberduck

[jamles]

even if you have a good, loving, caring spouse whose capable of taking care of you and sufficient funds for medical care, if you're not physically able to show up for 90 day reports, what do you do?

[Beetlejuice]

even if you have a good, loving, caring spouse whose capable of taking care of you and sufficient funds for medical care, if you're not physically able to show up for 90 day reports, what do you do?

All they need to do it obtain a doctors report and then any third party, along with some ID, signing in on behalf of that person is acceptable.

Contrary to popular belief, the Immigration department is not totally without compassion.

[Gweiloman]

Don`t worry about it.

We get old, and then we die, it will come soon enough, and if you’ve been a decent person, you go to heaven.

Once in Heaven, there will be no more, hello hansum man, no more, how much you give me, but it will be the real deal.

Well, a little of dreaming and fantasy does not do anyone any harm. It takes the sharpness out of worrying.

I vow to be a good person so that when I die, I will go to heaven. I hope there's enough time left for me to do so. Else, maybe I should consider changing faiths, kill a few infidels along with myself to ensure that this will happen?

[Gweiloman]

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ? After he had his fun and GF has his money he will try to freeload off you or me I hate old white men I guess it will be you

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ?

Nursing home, care centre, call it what you like, another is to hire his own caregiver, and I dont mean some unqualified Issan field worker.

I don't recall every reading such a venomous post from you. If i remember correctly, you've always posted very sensible and reasonable replies and comments.

There is nothing wrong in receiving care from an unqualified Isaan field worker. My own mother was unqualified, yet she gave me all the care that I could have ever wanted and probably more than I deserved.

Someone's very sensitive. An accurate post because as you get older your needs (probably medical) are going to be beyond the capabilities of your loving mother.

No, I'm not sensitive at all. In fact, anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm probably the most insensitive person they know.

BUT, one should give credit where credit is due and negative generalisations about Isaan farm workers are very far from the truth. My son's nanny is/was an Isaan farm worker and the love that she and her husband shows to my son puts me to shame. As farm workers, she and her husband has put both their daughters through university and both are now working for multinationals.

I have been so humbled by their mindset and approach to life that I have bought out their debts (incurred through putting their children through uni for hope of a better life) and I now own the land that they work on day and night. I will however, never, ever claim on this. Ownership of this land will pass from me to my son and I will ensure that he too understands that the value of a person is not in what they own but in how they approach and treat life.

[khaowong1]

In Thailand, there's always the Buddhist temples. Shave your head, wear the orange robes, let the young monks take care of you.

[khaowong1]

Don`t worry about it.

We get old, and then we die, it will come soon enough, and if you’ve been a decent person, you go to heaven.

Once in Heaven, there will be no more, hello hansum man, no more, how much you give me, but it will be the real deal.

Well, a little of dreaming and fantasy does not do anyone any harm. It takes the sharpness out of worrying.

I vow to be a good person so that when I die, I will go to heaven. I hope there's enough time left for me to do so. Else, maybe I should consider changing faiths, kill a few infidels along with myself to ensure that this will happen?

Then you'll have the 70 some odd virgins to worry about. The worry's never stop.

[rubberduck]

I know a (wealthy) old guy who has a contract with his Thai wife: for every year she takes care of him she gets a bigger part of his inheritage, clever. Only most TV members might be poor suckers...

[rgs2001uk]

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ? After he had his fun and GF has his money he will try to freeload off you or me I hate old white men I guess it will be you

When there is no caring partner what are actually the options in Thailand ?

Nursing home, care centre, call it what you like, another is to hire his own caregiver, and I dont mean some unqualified Issan field worker.

"Unqualified Isaan field worker" mmmmmmmmm my 87 yr old friend has recently had a major operation on Samui.

He was looked after (for an agreed price) after the big op. At times he had no control over his bowels, had to have dressings changed every day with unscrupulous care and hygiene, bathed , fed like a baby and nursed generally. At one stage he contracted an infection, possibly brought in by a visitor. She sat up several nights holding him administering his meds etc.................Guess what, that 30 yr old "Florence Nightingale" was a lady he met in a bar from one of your Isaan fields. Both he and his family will ever be thankful to her. So please do not label all Isaan field girls as being useless. He is now up and about again thanks to no one else but her. Incidentally, the sugeon invited her to witness the operation and take photographs strange as it might seem. They instructed her how to care for him and issued her with a compact kit from the hospital. Where would you get all this care in any western country.

Glad to hear your friend is now recovered, wonder what the agreed price was?

Have a next door neighbour, her aged mother has a full time live in caregiver, lives and eats rent free, and is paid 3,500 baht per month.

Wonder why your friends family were unable to care care of him, but thats another matter.

FYI, I have beed involved with two farang deaths, one massive stroke, the other cancer, also been involved with sorting out a womans benefits.

I wont bore you with the details, however suffice to say, by unqualified I mean, unable to speak read or write English and in one case German, try sorting out little things like atm cards, bank account details, informing relevant authorities to claim pensions etc.

In one case the women was illiterate in Thai, she could even fill in a simple 90 day report, wasted half a day of my time, didnt want to lose face and other such BS.

In the other case the wife was accompanied by what could only be described as Miss Nana Plaza 1975, spoke acted and dressed like a street walker, pissed me off by sparking up a cigarette in the house without even asking if it was ok to smoke.

This mercananry cow was ripping off her own sister, all she wanted to talk about was money.

I told the woman I was busy and next time please come alone, the sister was charging this woman to translate (wrongly) relevant paperwork.

Who a man chooses to marry is no concern of mine, and I am well aware there are plenty of decent educated hardworking girls from Issan.

My problems stem from farangs being totally unprepared from any problems that may arise, and the family thinking they can DIY instead of wanting to part with money.

In one of the cases above, the farang probably thought he was taking care of the family by building a farang mansion.

On his demise and once she had her hands on the pension money, the house was sold, the woman managed to squander 2 million baht in 6 months before coming to her senses.

I have now come to the conclusion, three was enough, there wont be a fourth, too much hassle for me, please dont let yourself be one of the poor unprepared unfortunates.

[Konini]

As we have no children, we leave a few unburned bridges back home such as paying our annual income tax as though we were still resident even though we don't have to. Care homes here are a nice idea though, the only problem is moral. We were given the opportunity several years ago to invest in a new retirement village with a care home attached for when residents could no longer look after themselves. We would have made a fortune by now, but the only only way you make money is by cutting back on the services to those too incapacitated to complain. Recent publicised reports from UK and Australia show elderly people being terribly neglected I'd rather sleep well at night than be rich. I'm not a religious person, but I think all such things should be provided by churches and the like rather than profit driven corporations or inept governments - both always looking for ways to reduce spending. I imagine the only way something like that could work over here for expats is if privately funded.

I vote that the people of Thai Visa forum join together in one big mutual fund!

Seriously though, there are probably people capable of looking into and setting up such things, but it would be held back by the laws and rules and regulations which seem determined to ensure that non-Thai's can never get ahead.

Nice thought whilst it lasted.

[Pacificperson]

My wife and I are taking care of both of our mothers. My wife sends money home to assist her family with her mother, and we have moved my mother over here to live with us. Luckily, my mother is in good health and my wife takes good care of her. I should have reasonably reliable financial resources later in life. And finially, my two sons are learning by example how one takes care of their responsibilities. There is not much more that I can do except wait and see what fate has instore for us.