Are You A Jealous Spouse?

[yourauntbob]

So the missus when out shopping with her cousin and a couple friends last night and didnt return home until late (about 11pm). After she got settled in she told me her cousin was impressed that when they go out, I never call. Apparently all the other b/f, husbands, or lovers will call their significant other several times and some even make them take picture with the group to verify they are not out with other men. One asks to talk with my g/f to verify as well.

So to my question: Is it just me or western culture of giving space to your significant other. Do you check up on the missus when she is out with friends?

p.s. Miss auntbob does not contact me when i am out with the guys, she gives me my space as well

[robblok]

I give her all the space she wants and vice versa, if someone wants to cheat they will find a way anyway. Plus I don't want to live in fear of neither do I want to be checked all the time.

Most guys seem to want freedom but on the other hand lock their wife up, i just feel that is totally unfair. Besides I don't worry one bit about her cheating as i am confident about myself.

[DocN]

You only give her "all the freedom", until you have been burned ones...or twice...

[robblok]

You only give her "all the freedom", until you have been burned ones...or twice...

Sure better lock someone up before they commit a crime.. makes sense does it not.

Anyway if i get burned it might be over or not depending but until that time all the freedom they want.

[USNret]

I'm not gonna spend my time with someone I don't trust & who doesn't trust me. Been there, done that, and got out of that bad relationship (much too late). BTW, that was not a Thai lady.

My wife & I trust each other completely, there is no notion of checking up. If I find one day I made a big mistake, so be it. But it's better than living a bitter life of constant accusations & mistrust.

[uptheos]

"Apparently all the other b/f, husbands, or lovers will call their significant other several times and some even make them take picture with the group to verify they are not out with other men".

Anyone doing this, obviously knows the type of wife/gf he has and is probably a very unhappy person.

[HeavyDrinker]

You reap what you sow. My missus can go out when she likes which means I am free to go on a toot this aftie down Nana....

[cycloneJ]

never

but simple politeness I'll ring or text if eg I'm going to be home an hour late, same as wife will if late from the office.

Not checking up.

No harm in that

[thenervoussurgeon]

Why would you marry someone you do not trust? i trust my wife completely,she has my bank details ,everything ,she goes away on buisness a few times a year ,i go to the bar with friends ,we do not check up on each other all the time , she is 23 years younger than me and we have a teenage son , we just love and trust each other, but then i did not meet her in a bar and marry her a couple of months later. buyer beware!!

[pattayadingo]

If I am out she will phone at the same time every night - as Thai tv finishes - to say goodnight.

No grilling, no questions as to what I am doing.

I roll home and she is asleep. Next morning no questions either.

As long as I come home to sleep she is happy.

If she is out without me, a very rare thing, I do not phone her at all nor do I ask who, why, what, when and where. If she is going to get up to something, she will do it and lie about it anyway, don't they all?

[JLCrab]

Why would you marry someone you do not trust? i trust my wife completely,she has my bank details ,everything ,she goes away on buisness a few times a year ,i go to the bar with friends ,we do not check up on each other all the time , she is 23 years younger than me and we have a teenage son , we just love and trust each other, but then i did not meet her in a bar and marry her a couple of months later. buyer beware!!

Sounds like Ward & June Cleaver on 'Leave it to Beaver' 1950-60's American TV sitcom

[HeavyDrinker]

Actually, scrub my above post. I apparently am NOT free to go on a toot this aftie down Nana....

[weegee]

I'm not gonna spend my time with someone I don't trust & who doesn't trust me. Been there, done that, and got out of that bad relationship (much too late). BTW, that was not a Thai lady.

My wife & I trust each other completely, there is no notion of checking up. If I find one day I made a big mistake, so be it. But it's better than living a bitter life of constant accusations & mistrust.

Was that a Singapore girl by any chance???? sounds horrible familiar to me...Yep... much too late.

[transam]

I never phone. But saying that, l trust no one on this planet. My ''loving'' UK ex after 25 years taught me that, as well as other stuff. Sad I know but I ''was'' a very trusting bloke.

[JUDAS]

The OP's wife should let her friends know that they are actually not in a normal relationship at all. The behavior mentioned sounds as if the guys have some serious issues.

Edited April 5, 2013 by JUDAS

[DocN]

You only give her "all the freedom", until you have been burned ones...or twice...

Sure better lock someone up before they commit a crime.. makes sense does it not.

Anyway if i get burned it might be over or not depending but until that time all the freedom they want.

Not lock up...but be a little more...attentive!

[harryfrompattaya]

Why would you marry someone you do not trust? i trust my wife completely,she has my bank details ,everything ,she goes away on buisness a few times a year ,i go to the bar with friends ,we do not check up on each other all the time , she is 23 years younger than me and we have a teenage son , we just love and trust each other, but then i did not meet her in a bar and marry her a couple of months later. buyer beware!!

Sounds like Ward & June Cleaver on 'Leave it to Beaver' 1950-60's American TV sitcom

To me it sounds worst and it just a cover up

[Berkshire]

Is anyone actually going to admit that they are the insanely jealous type? Only if they enjoy being unmercifully shredded for being in an untrusting/unloving relationship.

[maxme]

Is anyone actually going to admit that they are the insanely jealous type? Only if they enjoy being unmercifully shredded for being in an untrusting/unloving relationship.

Jelousy comes with the territory but in the end it all comes down to trust.

[NanLaew]

A buddy of mine had a local wife who, when they lived together in Thailand, would seldom allow him out with the lads but when she did, would insist on checking his underwear when he got home for 'evidence' of cheating. Meanwhile, her cheating with her 'brother-in-law' motorcycle taxi guy while my buddy was away working was a popular topic as well. Anyway, they moved back to his homeland and made a go of it there and would come back to Thailand every 2 or 3 years to visit. She was still as controlling and one time when us lads were coming back from some 'afternoon delights', she calls him on his mobile. He is in the back seat and says, 'yes, I am with the lads and on our way back now' and that's that. I am driving and about a minute later, my phone rings and it's her calling me to check if her hubby is with us. I said as much and added again that we were on our way back. Then she asks me to pass MY phone to her hubby so she can talk with him. I guess she was so suspicious, she was closing out the possibility that we were both lying on some convoluted cheating scenario that he may have set up. I was about to hand the phone over to my mate when I thought bugger this two-faced cow and told her that he couldn't speak right now as he was busy with the girls in the back seat.

I haven't seen either of them back in Thailand in ages.

[Indrid Cold]

I dont care what the gf for the time being does when i dont see her, the relation will not last long anyway.

[BookMan]

I rarely check up on my GF when she is out. It is a basic insecurity thing to be calling to check up on her.

She went on holiday for 2 nights with a group of friends to Hua Hin. Her friends BFs/Husbands were calling and texting her friends three, four, five times in the day. The friends thought it was strange that I didn't call her and asked why I did not call.

I would think the last thing she would want to do is have me calling her all day when she is with her group of friends, catching up with gossip, shopping, eating.

If she wants to speak to me or if there is a problem she'll call me.

[asiasurfer]

I don't mind if my wife had something with another guy as long as she comes back to me and doesn't get sick or pregnant.

[petermik]

If my GF can find a better guy than me then good luck-and goodbye-to her

[weegee]

I never phone. But saying that, l trust no one on this planet. My ''loving'' UK ex after 25 years taught me that, as well as other stuff. Sad I know but I ''was'' a very trusting bloke.

Ditto!!!! Some are a hell of a lesson hey?

[maxme]

Actually, scrub my above post. I apparently am NOT free to go on a toot this aftie down Nana....

She read your post, didn't she?

[weegee]

Actually, scrub my above post. I apparently am NOT free to go on a toot this aftie down Nana....

Now that was funny.....

[bonobo]

Jealousy is an anathema to a loving relationship, in my opinion. I have seem more marriages fail because of it than I can count.

Just yesterday, I found out that a couple I know is probably getting divorced. The husband's irrational jealousy forced his wife to drop out of school, then quit her job at the hospital. Two days ago, he walked over and punched out an old family friend because he thought he was having an affair with his wife. This is in a small village where everyone knows everyone else, and having an affair in the village would be extremely difficult from a logistical standpoint.

The husband is a very good-looking guy who owns a truck, and I am sure he could cheat if he so desired. The wife is a rather overweight, dark-skinned unattractive mother of two who cannot drive. I am not dumping on her looks here, but just to point out that she is not the epitome of what most Thai guys seek for a gik or whatever, and without a car, she is pretty much stuck in the village 24-7. My personal gut feeling is that she is not having an affair, especially with an old family friend.

Jealousy, however, rarely takes logic into account.

[yourauntbob]

The OP's wife should let her friends know that they are actually not in a normal relationship at all. The behavior mentioned sounds as if the guys have some serious issues.

I have told her that, but no one listens to the crazy farang....

[talk2sam]

Jealousy is a favorite pastime of woman in thailand... Common everywhere but never seen it like it is here.