Dating Thai Girls (First Trip)

[theblether]

I'm pretty sure we saw exactly the same OP here about 6 months ago, or as near as dammit.

Coincidence eh?

[guzzi850m2]

I find the OP more than a little naive but he is a kid with little experience after all. No doubt she will be the first of many but he can’t see that yet. I loved the line about earning trust and then jumping the girl the first time they were alone. Misplaced trust?

Then again at his age, I seem to remember waiting more than a couple of days for sex felt like an eternity, so I devised a three date rule. If I didn’t get it by halfway through the third date, I would use reverse psychology and back off. Acknowledging I was probably not what they were looking for and they were too good for me, surprisingly seemed to work more often than it didn’t.

I also found it advisable to spend my evenings in the presence of less reserved female company. It helped to take the edge off. The angst of young love is so moving and at the same time so fleeting, I suggest we sit back and allow this story to follow its normal progression. Besides how many of you guys actually have experience being 21 in Thailand?

I did,

I was here as a 19 year old seaman many many years ago.

Man the girl was good, I had 4 happy endings and was pretty sore the next couple of days, lol.

Ahh that was good times.

OP,

Your girl sounds to be a nice one, good luck but take your time and don't rust things, you have time on your side.

I have a lovely wife, a caring mother and after her sister borrowed 5000 bath and asked my wife for more she told her when the 5000 bath is paid back then you can borrow again if needed.

She never asked since (I am still 5000 short).

If you got the right Thai woman, life is good.

[Swiss1960]

If you got the right Thai woman, life is good.

Exactly and true even if you delete the word "Thai"... now add that if that woman has the right husband, then life is also good for her and that is the "secret" to a happy relationship...

[Morakot]

also you state relationships take time to build, 9 days was it. bahahaha

No muythai2013, the relationship was built online - the nine days was just to cement it.

Possible, but then I read this...

>>>>After 6 months (skyping 1 time per month), we agreed to meet in Bangkok airport.

I read in a postmodern novel that young people often talk via text-based chats which they sometimes complement with audio chats. I was fascinated by these possibilities that I learnt about through this work of fiction.

Edited April 9, 2013 by Morakot

[OxfordWill]

OP- you will fit in very well around here- we are all experts also!

I think your writing style is clear and enjoyable to read.

enjoy your Thai experiences but take it slow, because you don't yet understand what you are experiencing. I nearly made a huge mistake with my first year in Thailand and reading your post brings it all back rushing into mind. It was a great year with a great girl, but I simply didn't have the experience to judge what was going on and nearly got married to the wrong person.

And, have fun!

Edited April 9, 2013 by OxfordWill

[phuturatica]

How cute...

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

Ahh... the wonders of young puppy love....

I just hope the OP will get along well with his new GF's Thai husband and the several children she likely has lurking at some relative's home.

BTW, just what exactly are the odds of an 18-19-year-old girl from a small village 250 KM upcountry and presumably of part Laos background having a family with the substantial financial resources and property holdings typically required to get a student visa to the U.S.???

Edited April 9, 2013 by TallGuyJohninBKK

[arthurwait]

Maybe the thread should be called ' Dating village virgins as I would get eaten alive by Bangkok women and Thai women who have lost their virginty'

Maybe you could call your first novel that.

[Thatcherite]

To the OP :

There's a simple solution to all this,you have her facebook that she mysteriously 'appeared' on,all you have to do is check her friends list now.If she has lots of young,foreign boys like you on it then you know you are being played and it's time to run a mile!
I must admit it's a bit disturbing the whole being met at the airport with her Mother,sounds very much like a well-practised scam to me!

Hope this helps.

[Nuna]

A lovely little fantasy story, well done, I enjoyed reading it.

May I ask

Where she learned English (age 19)?

Where did she get the money and the VISA to spend a year in America (age 19)?

When making up a story, best to allow some room for credibility.

There are exchange student programs for high school kids. If you pass the exam, you can fly to country you picked without any expense because it's sort of scholarship. My friend spent 1 year in US at the age of 16. Don't worry about visa since host families abroad arrange it all.

[swissie]

Alex, ignore the bitter cynics.

Chaperoning is traditional and, with luck, a sign that she comes from a 'good' family. Visiting the family is often a sign of commitment on both sides.

Be absolutely honest. Thai ladies detest lies.

Don't take the advice of the poster above to play around in Pattaya. The grapevine is very efficient and many philandering farang has been caught out. If she's being straight with you, you would be out on your ear when a relate, friend or bar girl from the village tells her with gleeful spite what you have been up to.

Always remain wary until you are absolutely sure. 'Bad' girls are good at playing the good girl role and any Thai girl can play the manipulative games that a Western girl can play. The waterworks is a common one.

Understand what will be expected of you if the relationship develops. The family and village will expect the farang to take better care of his girl than would a local man. But take that slowly. Common requests are:

1. Spend some money improving the family home.

2. Buy her some land and build a house.

3. Buy her a vehicle.

You should delay 2. and 3. until you are legally married at the Amphur. If you do those things before you marry, you have no legal right even of part ownership. Requests to give money to or buy something for a family member should also be viewed with caution. You may set a bad precedent.

If you've found a good one, she won't press for anything more at first except, perhaps, a monthly allowance. That's reasonable if you accept that you are in a relationship. she may expect the relationship to develop quicker than you have hitherto been used to.

Try to see the date of birth on her ID card. 19 years is OK but 16 to 18 can get you caught in a trap. Sex during those years is legal only with the parents' permission. It's not unknown for the permission to be denied after the event and an expensive rip to the police station follow.

Does she work or have a business?

You will read many more scare stories than happy ones. However, there are many more good relationships than bad ones. Happy farang tend not to rattle on about it.

Above all, take time to understand Thai culture, her family and the village. Be careful how you question her - she seems to be nervous about her new relationship. That's probably a good sign but don't give her cause to worry about your sincerity.

I wish you luck and hope that you are entering a relationship that's as good as mine.

Be absolutely honest. Thai ladies detest lies. (as quoted above.)

As the farang, you are not allowed to lie to Thai-ladies. On the other hand, a Thai-lady is allowed to lie to the farang 24 hours / 365 days a year. Common procedure.

Cheers.

[klubex99]

This HAS to be a troll thread.

[thaifkrlim]

Aren't there many distant freelance programmer OPs falling in love with thai girls already, who then propose that they can work from anywhere as long as there is an Internet connection?

Edited April 9, 2013 by thaifkrlim

[isawasnake]

This is by far my favorite piece of "advice":

"Do not cheat and do not lie. Her friends were finding me attractive and I could have hooked up with them, which I didn't do."

First of all, what nice friends she has. Assuming all this is true, people usually emulate the company they keep.

Again, assuming that entire 2 sentences is true, trust me, you will be WISHING you did hook up with those friends every few nights for years to come man, just believe me on this one.

[muythai2013]

nice friends she has, trying to hook up with you behind her back.

you can judge a girl by the company she keeps

[FunFon]

A girl's friends will also often test a new guy to see if he's the kind of skeezer that would sleep around within his girl's circle of friends.

[SteeleJoe]

dont fight with them, they just resort to tantrums until they win.

Perhaps rather than "they" you meant to say "my wife" or "the Thai women I have been in relationships with"...

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[SteeleJoe]

how many of you guys actually have experience being 21 in Thailand?

I do. And at 19 and 20...do I get a prize?

You actually make a valid point, I think and one I've thought of before when people comments about Thai women - a very young guy can often times have a rather different experience here than those even a mere 8 to 10 years older. This is not a crack at the old guys - I'm one - or a suggestion that having the experience of being young in Thailand is better in every way than what most people have, because in some ways it's not. But it is different.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[Boo]

as well as making comparisons with western women.

yeah, just fyi, that wont work so well on this forum so best just relate your story without dragging other women down, m'kay.

[Lizard0]

Its (very old) Thai tradition to have a parent present during dates

More often these days, she will just bring a good friend.

Who would show up at an airport alone, when all you had was a small amount of contact online with someone? Girl has to protect herself.

Its also an easy 'excuse' or buffer to keep any (potentially) unwanted physical contact.

I do feel sorry for all the people making comments in the thread lol. One's experience can be greatly different here when you are the same age and meeting a middle class girl who was taught to be a good girl

Sure, be smart and aware (like the FB comment). You do have to trust people at some point, or you will never find someone who is trustworthy.

.. and who said this was advice from him. 90% of the trolling relies on that to be fact. Dumbasses lol

Edited April 9, 2013 by Lizard0

[DLock]

nice friends she has, trying to hook up with you behind her back.

you can judge a girl by the company she keeps

Agree.

In fact, I like the quote "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future".

It has served me well in judging people.

Edited April 9, 2013 by DLock

[cicinette]

Is that some kind of a joke ? .....as a westerm woman I had to comment!

rule 1 : Relations ships take time to build...same with western women

rule 4 : When you accept a Thai girl in your life, you accept her family and friends.......heuheu same with western women

Rule 5 : learn to speak any language your partner and family speaks...it works everywhere

rule 6 : Don t be greedy.....we, also don t like greedy men! trust me

Rule 7 : Thai girls will tell you exactly what you what you want to hear, and do what you want them to do...and she will only care about you (at least will make you think that), you are so happy since she didn't bother you with her sadness over her grandma s death...how convenient is that, you only had to worry about yourself..... but she cries when you left, that s so nice....crap....This is where thai girls are very smart....she ll let you think you rule...but she does

Rule 8 : men are expected to do the first move..sorry for being old school, but we also like it

and the best is number 9 : do not cheat and or lie....yep yep, it is world famous that western women love to be lied to and cheated

My gosh!! Sometimes I wish I couldn t read!

Edited April 9, 2013 by cicinette

[mysticpaki]

My dear friend

Take advise from an old asian.

If youre willing to nod yes to everything your thai gal says then go ahead.Thai women are never wrong they always want there own way and when they dont get it you will get tantrums galore.

Ive never found a rich respectable thai girl with a farang unless they met in university.

A wise German told me that for the thai women

1st is her father and mother

2nd is her brother sister and relatives

3rd are her neighbours and friends

4th is her dog

and 5th is her farang husband.

Loads of good women where u stay so dont waste your time here.

Also questions which rise eyebrows how many like you has she found on facebook??

Where and when did she go to usa as an exchange student ask to see her passport.

Who paid for her trip some western poor sod like you???

Tread carefully my friend youre young and have the world at your feet.

[esbkk]

<deleted> ...

[cooked]

<deleted> ...

a most enlightening and intelligent comment, are you a Ph.D in philosophy by any chance?

[wjmark]

Learned English at school and during exchange student trip.

Money: her parents paid for it, the flight transited by Seoul and Los Angeles.

Why on earth would you tell us this???

[scotto]

This thread is great have not laughed so much for awhile newbies gotta love it

[wjmark]

I wish i was young enough to know everything, sorry Oscar

Wish I'd said that... (sorry Oscar too!)

[Traveller45]

I have to say I liked this story. As far as I can see it is a success story, two people who have really found each other and may, in fact, stay together. There are not many success stories like this, Congratulations. A couple of questions though which remain unanswered. The most pressing one, really, is that every such budding relationship is of necessity a holiday one. This is in essence a degrading aspect for a Thai girl in the prudish Thai society. How do we make this palatable to her? And how do we keep such a relationship fresh if the togetherness is limited, at least for the time being, to holidays? I am not talking here about the down-and-outs from Isaan who just grab any prospect of getting away from their hole, although, luckily, there too things are slowly changing. No, I am talking about a Thai girl of stature, probably from Bangkok, a student etc. How to make this work? I appreciate the advice given here although admittedly the experience from one single relationship is a bit thin...

[wombat]

OP.....gentleman....cicinette......thanks for the laughs...a great way to start the evening.