Put Your Affairs In Order

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got

some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and

walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good,

and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't
well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less

somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually
approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the
two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her

impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave
the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and

whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just
told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those so called friends

sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order'