When Hell Freezes Over...

The following is an actual question given on a University of

Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
well...

Here is the "Bonus Question" on the exam:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs heat)?"

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using

Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following.

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in

time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the

different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the

number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell

because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at

which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase

of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by

Teresa (a girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact
that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen

over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."