I'll never understand women !

[Vinny1967]

We moved over here last september from europe where we sold up everything we had.She wanted to come home.She was missing Thailand and her family.Everything was going fine here.I'll admit that I was having a hard time adjusting to the Thai way of life,but it turns out that she was also having a difficult time adjusting after spending most of her adult life in europe.After persuading me that Thailand was the future for us,she turns around and tells me she wants to go back to europe.I went ballistic.After selling up all we had in europe,she now wants to go back.

I've noticed this with thai women.One day they want this,and the next day they want that.They just never seem to be able to make up their damn mind.I'd set myself up with a little enterprise over here and it was doing well.Now I have to hand control over to her two brothers,which isn't exactly what I want to do.

After making the big move to Thailand last year,now I've got another big move coming at the end of the week.Talk about running in circles

[Dr Robert]

I am not sure this is a Thai woman issue so much as a woman issue-best of luck in your decision making processes-damned if you do and damned if you dont...

[Briggsy]

What do you want?

After moving back to Europe, I don't think you should accept any further reversal of the decision.

p.s. just re-read your post. Mission accomplished = transfer of capital from you to her family. Not that hard to understand Thai women.

Edited June 23, 2013 by Briggsy

[David48]

Vinny1967 ... 'I'll never understand women !' ... you are not alone ...

Then again, we men have our moments ... they are just a different, understandable and logical moments ...

.

[eek]

Could this not be an element of culture shock..or reverse culture shock?? Adjustment periods can take a while. I Would have suggested waiting a further year to make sure it really isn't working for you both. I've personally gone through periods of regret and doubts in counties I've lived in, including Thailand, but I'm also aware that it's often just down to the transition period...which can vary. Good luck to you both in the move back though. Hope you will both feel settled and happy: )

[Vinny1967]

p.s. just re-read your post. Mission accomplished = transfer of capital from you to her family. Not that hard to understand Thai women.

It's not like that.I'll still have financial control,but her two muppet brothers will have to do the work.Their idea of quality,and my idea of quality are moons apart and that's what worries me.

[habfan]

If she's anything like my wife you might not want to jump the gun so quick, she changes her mind every 5 minutes.

Edited June 23, 2013 by habfan

[Vinny1967]

I am not sure this is a Thai woman issue so much as a woman issue-best of luck in your decision making processes-damned if you do and damned if you dont...

Maybe this would explain why there's so many gay men in LOS ?

[Briggsy]

p.s. just re-read your post. Mission accomplished = transfer of capital from you to her family. Not that hard to understand Thai women.

It's not like that.I'll still have financial control,but her two muppet brothers will have to do the work.Their idea of quality,and my idea of quality are moons apart and that's what worries me.

You know they won't keep the business going as a profitable enterprise. Is it possible to liquidate the business assets or sell it as a going concern to a third party?

If the brothers weren't working in this enterprise, what line of work would they be doing, farm hand or taxi driver, perhaps? Life has taught me that it is delusional to expect people to achieve what is beyond their capabilities. One or two in a hundred will surprise you but most will fail at doing what they are not capable of doing, whether it be intellectually, emotionally, personality-wise, physically or any other aspect of our characters.

I wish you the best of luck but careful planning usually brings better outcomes.

[Rsquared]

Hey Vinny.....you need to ask yourself what you want...and what makes you happy.

What you have described in your OP is a monumental task.....selling up everything back home and moving here.....I know, I've done it.

But after what 9 months?.....you want to go back to a more expensive lifestyle and start again?.....your pockets are definitely much larger than mine.

All I can advise is.....give it some more time, or take a holiday for a couple of months with your wife and tour around Thailand.

Cheers.

[sbk]

Don't know its a "woman thing" much less a "Thai woman thing". I have seen many foreigners come to Thailand and start over only to find it isn't for them and move back.

Many Thais have a very hard time coming to terms with their country after being away for long periods of time, it doesn't measure up to the rosy image they remember from their childhoods and they realize that they have changed and don't fit in anymore. I know the feeling. I get it when I go back to the US. Its kind of eerie to realize that you don't really fit in in your home country anymore.

So instead of using the old chestnut of "I will never understand thai women" perhaps try understanding your wife.

[tpthai2]

"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?"

Sigmund Freud

[whybother]

I'll never understand people who make big moves without trying it out first.

[Vinny1967]

I'll never understand people who make big moves without trying it out first.

I'd been here plenty of times before I came here to live.I knew what to expect.Just hasn't turned out as we expected.She's been struggling to adapt.Everything that she used to know 25 years ago has all changed.She's totally lost here,and with her being lost it doesn't help me to adapt.

[I Like Thai]

Just to make you feel a little better. It's pissing rain and glowing a gale in Ireland at the minute

[whybother]

I'll never understand people who make big moves without trying it out first.

I'd been here plenty of times before I came here to live.I knew what to expect.Just hasn't turned out as we expected.She's been struggling to adapt.Everything that she used to know 25 years ago has all changed.She's totally lost here,and with her being lost it doesn't help me to adapt.

Visiting isn't the same as moving. Selling everything before actually living here for a longer period is ... obviously not the best move.

[FDog]

Just to make you feel a little better. It's pissing rain and glowing a gale in Ireland at the minute

And Malaysia has a haze from a burn off in Indonesia that is making it near impossible to breath.

Must keep the beers flowing to lubricate the throat.

[Loptr]

Or you could put your foot down and say no to your wife about moving back to the EU.

[givenall]

Just do what you want and she should follow. If not find another woman

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[Vinny1967]

I'll never understand people who make big moves without trying it out first.

I'd been here plenty of times before I came here to live.I knew what to expect.Just hasn't turned out as we expected.She's been struggling to adapt.Everything that she used to know 25 years ago has all changed.She's totally lost here,and with her being lost it doesn't help me to adapt.

Visiting isn't the same as moving. Selling everything before actually living here for a longer period is ... obviously not the best move.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing .We didn't have an option of keeping everything in europe on hold.Couldn't get 6 months leave from work and wouldn't of been able to afford two houses.Seemed like a good idea at the time.All I can say is that we've tried it,and it didn't go the way we wanted. You live and you learn

[puyaidon]

The exact same thing happened to me. My ex-wife wanted to retire over here after my stint in the military. Problem was she was still in the mindset that Thailand had not changed since 1972 and never finding out that a lot has changed in all ways. She had been over here on two separate occasions when her father died but never looked around to see how this place had changed. She thought we could go camping on the beach in Pattaya like before in 1972. Yes, I knew she was crazy after reading about Beach Road at night now. We got over here and then she wanted to return to her grandkids after I did as Vinny1967 did. I had nothing left in the US so it would have been starting over from scratch.

I think it is not really all a Thai cultural thing but mainly applied to each woman in her own way. Now I don't have that problem (wife) as I came back over here and not hearing from my ex for over ten years, got a divorce based on abandonment as I had originally married in Korat.

Good luck to you and I hope your choice is a good one.

[farangme]

My wife cycles through goals and objectives like she changes clothes. I've learned to not react and just wait until I've been hearing the same thing over a fair period of time. Even then, I give her a 10% chance of following through. To generalize, I find Thais loose interest as soon as something isn't fun or easy anymore. Again, a generalization.

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