New ''father'' plus unexpected 2 new children?

[datebayoo]

So here is the idea; My thai GF wants to marry with me this year. About her: she is 30 years old and has 2 children from her previous marriage with a Thai guy, with whom she divorced to last month.

I do not know anything about how the laws works in Thailand, even if I knew them, they are not all working as they supposed to be or not working at all ( from what I have heard and read on the net). So I could use some real-life experienced minds about this.

So this is what I am wondering now: When I marry her, do I automatically (by law) take responsibilities as the new ''father'' of her 2 children?

Or is it (by law) that the real father have to take care of the children when they divorced?

Edited August 13, 2013 by datebayoo

[I Like Thai]

The Father of the child is the father of the child, that is not you. It is up to him whether he spends time with his children and gives their mother money for their upkeep or not. This might not be the nice way, but this is how it works.

The mother is responsible for bringing up her kids, if you marry her, then you will be responsible for taking care of her, thus you will be responsible by default to also take care of her children if the Father is not.

If you decide to get married, do so on the basis that you will be taking care of them, stay out of all matters related to the Father of the children.

[arthurwait]

The last sentence of the above post is the best advice you will get.

Mario will most likely be able to help.

Hopefully a mod will move this to the family and children section for you.

[MAJIC]

The Father of the child is the father of the child, that is not you. It is up to him whether he spends time with his children and gives their mother money for their upkeep or not. This might not be the nice way, but this is how it works.

The mother is responsible for bringing up her kids, if you marry her, then you will be responsible for taking care of her, thus you will be responsible by default to also take care of her children if the Father is not.

If you decide to get married, do so on the basis that you will be taking care of them, stay out of all matters related to the Father of the children.

"If you decide to get married, do so on the basis that you will be taking care of them, stay out of all matters related to the Father of the children"

I would agree with the the above,and add,only do so out of the goodness of your heart,but don't expect medals of honour, the child will not see any reason to respect you as a new father,and neither will the new wife!

[NCC1701A]

not to be negative, but you should also familiarize yourself with divorce law as well. just so you understand the downside.

Edited August 13, 2013 by NCC1701A

[Sheryl]

Moved to families and children forum.

[bina]

if im not mistaken, she cant remarry until a year is up (to ensure that she is not carrying the child of the previous man)... and double check if it is a marriage just in village or a registered marriage, and frankly i would double check her relationship with her ex... does he live close by or far away, how involved is his family in your girlfriend's children's life, etc... i live in a a closed community (kibbutz in israel) and my thai husband is not overly fond of the fact that my ex (and his wife) lives down the road from us and sees him every day; my husband is not overly involved in my childrens' lives since dad and ex in laws live nearby, my kids were older when we married...

what happens if u plan to bring wife and kids overseas? who gives permission,? etc...

[Mario2008]

She must get a docters attest confirming that she is not pregnant before she can legally marry at the amphur. Otherwise the law requires her to wait something like 310 days. If pregnant, any children born within 310(?) days of divorce will be considered that of the ex-husband.

[rics21]

Sorry to be negative. But don't you feel that it is a little fishy about the divorce? 1 month before your marriage?

[Datebayo]

I don't know why you think it's fishy? She said she always say she loves me and I feel good with her.

[vspin134]

Go with your heart...a lot of Thai women got married to find love, not all can, but your woman may have suffered being with wrong guy with two kids. Now she may discover love from you. Good luck with that but just steer clear from ex husband.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Issangeorge]

Sorry to be negative. But don't you feel that it is a little fishy about the divorce? 1 month before your marriage?

I wouldn't be too worried about when the divorce was, it would be more interesting to know how long she has been seperated from her husband. My BIL had problems with his first wife and they went to the amphur and got divorced, but then decided to stay together. She then started fooling around on him and he left her and of course moved into my house. That was no problem for me, because he took over all the yard work.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 6 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[josephinebloggs]

I don't know why you think it's fishy? She said she always say she loves me and I feel good with her.

For your sake I hope you're telling the truth but if I'm brutally honest, I think based on the average Thai female that would say what you just said she did to you, a foreigner, and the circumstances of your marriage that you set out, it sounds a tad fishy and you should have you eyes wide open and let your head rule your heart and your penis especially when money starts to get involved.

[David48]

Before you settle into your love nest with your soon to be divorcee gf ... have a read of this ... step-daughter-and-logic

When you are in the early days/weeks/months of being in love ... everything looks great.

But you have the added complication of 2 step-children to consider.

May I ask your age and nationality?

Do you have children of your own?

Cheers and good luck.

[LazyCat]

The fishy question is why she divorced her hb just a month ago ? How long do u know her? If more than a month means she was cheating on her hb with u ? Or she would say to u they dont live together for a long time, married while very young, but then she has 2 kids from her husband ( or just while married to her husband ?) ???

Me thinks what starts with a lie will be a lie, but thats my humble opinion.

I would really take time to think and reflect on the situation.

[Benjie]

The fishy question is why she divorced her hb just a month ago ? How long do u know her? If more than a month means she was cheating on her hb with u ? Or she would say to u they dont live together for a long time, married while very young, but then she has 2 kids from her husband ( or just while married to her husband ?) ???

Me thinks what starts with a lie will be a lie, but thats my humble opinion.

I would really take time to think and reflect on the situation.

I would have thought a huge number of people (worldwide) actually only eventually get divorced when they want to actually remarry.

[Dancealot]

The OP states "she wants to marry".... Does he want to?

[LazyCat]

I would have thought a huge number of people (worldwide) actually only eventually get divorced when they want to actually remarry.

Sooooo up untill someone actually asks u to marry HIM its ok to stay martied to a guy you dont love and are actually cheating on ???? I think it is not a great begining of a relationship anyway.

And what makes u think u will not be another husband who she is cheating on, trying to find a better spouse than u ? Like just another step up ? I think i like thai marital law and the factyou cant just get divorced and marry some1 else next day.

[benalibina]

I would have thought a huge number of people (worldwide) actually only eventually get divorced when they want to actually remarry.

Sooooo up untill someone actually asks u to marry HIM its ok to stay martied to a guy you dont love and are actually cheating on ???? I think it is not a great begining of a relationship anyway.

And what makes u think u will not be another husband who she is cheating on, trying to find a better spouse than u ? Like just another step up ? I think i like thai marital law and the factyou cant just get divorced and marry some1 else next day.

On your last sentence, explain please ! Interested to know.