Wife has UK ILR approved then vanishes and tells me not to look for her?

[7by7]

Mr. Sata,

Thank you for pointing out the rules, I know them already; but find the Home Office to be a more reliable source on the UK immigration rules than Wikipedia!

The rest of your post implies an intimate knowledge of the woman and her intentions which even the OP has no knowledge of.

Maybe you are basing this on your own experience.

Like your oft displayed ignorance of the immigration rules, your knowledge of benefit entitlements is also extremely limited.

For example, earning less than £18,600 p.a. (not £18,000) may mean she qualifies for tax credits and council tax benefit, but certainly does not by itself qualify one for social housing; let alone the free housing you reckon she'll get!

Enough of this rubbish, can we get back to the topic.

If you want to discuss benefits, there's a topic in news on that subject; as you well know.

Edited September 10, 2013 by 7by7

[lormakmak]

For the record I can't be arsed to even try and get her deported or bother with her....karma will deal with her in it's own time and I suspect she is probably going to go on the game!

can you divorce someone easy that has gone on the missing?

as 7by7 said and I agree I just want to divorce and crack on with my life, I have a lot going on and don't want to jeopardize another relationship cos I married a liar whose decided to go to ground?

[Jay Sata]

Two years is all that is required for desertion. Make sure you keep any correspondence from her.

More here http://www.terry.co.uk/desertion.html

[lormakmak]

Two years is all that is required for desertion. Make sure you keep any correspondence from her.

More here http://www.terry.co.uk/desertion.html

Thanks Jay

[Somchai Mao]

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune. The number of British guys I know and divorced Thai women I know, the general consensus is the girls know exactly what they are entitled to. You can be sure, even though you think she wants to cut ties, that she will go for whatever she can financially. My advice is to see a solicitor as soon as you can, forget immigration, that isn't a priority. Protecting your assets is a priority. Best wishes and I wish you well.

She didn't used to work in a well known Bangkok hotel did she? If so, I know her and she was very sure of her rights prior to travelling to the UK.

I listen to some of the divorced Thai women in my local Thai restaurant. All of them living off the state, bitter and twisted. How anyone found them attractive in the first place is beyond me.

Sadly history is littered with these very sad stories. I wish you all the very best.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Somchai Mao

[lormakmak]

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune. The number of British guys I know and divorced Thai women I know, the general consensus is the girls know exactly what they are entitled to. You can be sure, even though you think she wants to cut ties, that she will go for whatever she can financially. My advice is to see a solicitor as soon as you can, forget immigration, that isn't a priority. Protecting your assets is a priority. Best wishes and I wish you well.

She didn't used to work in a well known Bangkok hotel did she? If so, I know her and she was very sure of her rights prior to travelling to the UK.

thanks for your wishes and NO

[Jay Sata]

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune. The number of British guys I know and divorced Thai women I know, the general consensus is the girls know exactly what they are entitled to. You can be sure, even though you think she wants to cut ties, that she will go for whatever she can financially. My advice is to see a solicitor as soon as you can, forget immigration, that isn't a priority. Protecting your assets is a priority. Best wishes and I wish you well.

She didn't used to work in a well known Bangkok hotel did she? If so, I know her and she was very sure of her rights prior to travelling to the UK.

I listen to some of the divorced Thai women in my local Thai restaurant. All of them living off the state, bitter and twisted. How anyone found them attractive in the first place is beyond me.

Sadly history is littered with these very sad stories. I wish you all the very best.

Divorced Thai women living off the state?

On benefits? Impossible

Good luck and best wishes to the OP

[malct]

It winds me up to hear these story's!!! But its better to happen now and now you plan your own new life.

Regarding these situations, If you know of a woman who is planning on taking off after getting the IIR, Is there anything you can do apart from telling the Husband, I am unsure what action the UKBA would take because without proof, they cant do anything.

Edited September 10, 2013 by malct

[Jay Sata]

Before you read what I suggest below I have to tell you I'm very lucky. I've been happily married to a Thai/American for the last 14 years and a bonus is her family speaks fluent English. We don't mix with the Thai community when in the UK for half the year but have many friends when back in Thailand.

I've known quite a few scenario's like this one and there are common traits or pointers that the husband often ignores. One is the routine of the Thai 'friends' coming around maybe once a week for the big meal and the other is the wife spending a lot of time on the computer.

While the husband is talking about football or the grand prix with the other farangs the wife is comparing notes with others.

If you check your or her computer and find the history is wiped or she uses a proxy server warning bells should ring. History wiped after every session is another light bulb. If she spends lots of time on the computer it may be when you are at work and she's plotting to catch her next big fish.

Love is blind I'm afraid and often the first the guy knows it's all gone wrong is when she up's and leaves. By then he has paid for the house/land in Thailand and his account is drained so it's on to the next punter.

[Somchai Mao]

Before you read what I suggest below I have to tell you I'm very lucky. I've been happily married to a Thai/American for the last 14 years and a bonus is her family speaks fluent English. We don't mix with the Thai community when in the UK for half the year but have many friends when back in Thailand.

I've known quite a few scenario's like this one and there are common traits or pointers that the husband often ignores. One is the routine of the Thai 'friends' coming around maybe once a week for the big meal and the other is the wife spending a lot of time on the computer.

While the husband is talking about football or the grand prix with the other farangs the wife is comparing notes with others.

If you check your or her computer and find the history is wiped or she uses a proxy server warning bells should ring. History wiped after every session is another light bulb. If she spends lots of time on the computer it may be when you are at work and she's plotting to catch her next big fish.

Love is blind I'm afraid and often the first the guy knows it's all gone wrong is when she up's and leaves. By then he has paid for the house/land in Thailand and his account is drained so it's on to the next punter.

Very true, the computer is a big pointer. I don't approve of it but if you are that way inclined there is key logging software. Too much contact with other Thai women in your host country is to be avoided as much as possible. They will teach her all the tricks and fill her head full of nonsense. Ironically very few Thai women after divorce actually prosper.

If she thinks otherwise and builds a big network of friends then you may as well change the locks now.

[Jay Sata]

Spot on Somchai.

Another pointer is when you hear them bragging about what they have in Thailand.

The wife may be happy until she starts to feel she is the buffalo in the relationship

being taken advantage of by the farang.

[Somchai Mao]

Subtle things like when she opens her purse in front of other Thai women does she make sure it's full of money?

Grandiose gestures, paying with large denomination notes in front of friends.

Expensive handbags, shoes, showing them to friends.

Any of these things point to her having moved up the pecking pecking order and is now dispensing advice to others. Once she has that status, she's off.

It's all about the money, money, money as Jesse says.

[Satcommlee]

Behind every story like this is a match made in heaven.. She's not like the rest... She's different!!

It could happen to anyone one of us, and we all need to be cautious! There is plenty of precedent.

I sympathise with the OP, what he is not telling us about is the heartbreak he has suffered.

So on getting ILR she has done a runner, I'm sure that should he communicate with the immigration agencies then they will be on his side and advise the best possible course of action.

[Jay Sata]

Agreed.

Good advice.

Sadly not much good as you say for the heartbreak but better he let UKBA be aware of what she has done.

Reading this again

my wife has just been granted her ILR visa and within 1 month has left the marital house hold and the only messages she has sent me is 'do not look for her' and sent me an email accusing me of being nasty to her and to not waste my time trying to cancel her visa as she has been to citizens advice and they tell her I cannot?

It appears she was aware the relationship was not permanent as far as she was concerned but wanted the ILR.

So she deceived the UKBA and as such acquired ILR by fraud.

It might be worth a visit to your local police station.

As I said earlier she is now entitled to a raft of benefits the Citizens Advice Centre would have made her aware of. She would also have had free legal advice. (All freebies that 7by7 wont accept)

Her friends would have suggested the CAB route as that way they advise what an 'abused wife' has as rights.

She get a state funded apartment minimum plus all the extra's.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Jay Sata

[Somchai Mao]

Behind every story like this is a match made in heaven.. She's not like the rest... She's different!!

It could happen to anyone one of us, and we all need to be cautious! There is plenty of precedent.

I sympathise with the OP, what he is not telling us about is the heartbreak he has suffered.

So on getting ILR she has done a runner, I'm sure that should he communicate with the immigration agencies then they will be on his side and advise the best possible course of action.

Forget about UKBA, it took us a decade to get rid of Abu Hamza and his mate. They aren't going to be bothered about some runaway Thai bird. I could take you now to at least half a dozen Thai birds living under the radar with no visa, been in he UK years. Massage parlours, Thai restaurants, Adultwork will all ensure they have enough to send back to the baan.

Just make sure you get a good solicitor and don't go on a downward spiral. If there is another farang there, it may not work out and that charm that captured you in the first place will come back. Cut all ties as soon as you possibly can. Try and live with the pain, it won't be there forever but don't dull it with too much booze. My best wishes.

[7by7]

It seems the talking <deleted> brigade are out in force now.

Edited September 10, 2013 by 7by7

[somtampet]

A couple of posters are correct about the THAI GATHERING

I used to see a thai women in stoke,found out she was married and ditched her,she gave advise to other thai women about their rights

Edited September 10, 2013 by somtampet

[somtampet]

Amate of mine in uk,was seeing a thai girl who lived in uk,she had a husband,after a while she left husband and went to live with mate,then he realised she was bad and told her to go,she refused,He had to get the police involved as she became abusive.

He also told the cops that she was on overstay for a good while,the cops said it was nothing to do with them

[colinneil]

I had same thing happen to me 12 years ago. My ex-wife got ilr went to council, got housing benefit, social everything.

She came to see me 1 day, give me 20,000 pounds or i will go to police, i will say you raped me, beat me, raped my friend she thought she would get away with it, big mistake. She went to police made a statement times dates places etc.

Police arrested me, checked things out, my passsport showed i was in hong kong at the time, matter closed, police did nothing to her for lying .

I went to immigration in leeds. We will deport her, what a joke she is still going back and forward uk thailand.

See a lawyer , watch your back. Immigration are a total waste of time.

[DekDaeng]

Take the time, sit down & write a book documenting from before you met her to the current day. Write everything you know to be fact (ie your side, etc) in red and any conjecture (what you think she was doing, etc) in green. Make sure absolutely truthful & complete.

Did you ever hit her, what were the circumstances. (I hit mine once, but I am quite sure she would not like the circumstances to be known - she, being a good 'christian' could not ask me for a divorce, so she tried to 'persuade' me to ask her for a divorce. What she didn't do in that effort .....)

Also document the financial side.

Have it notarized or made a statutory declaration. Just for protection. You may or may not want to publish.

[Jay Sata]

I had same thing happen to me 12 years ago. My ex-wife got ilr went to council, got housing benefit, social everything.

Surely not?

One resident expert here is always claiming that never happens

[transam]

I had same thing happen to me 12 years ago. My ex-wife got ilr went to council, got housing benefit, social everything.

Surely not?

One resident expert here is always claiming that never happens

I can add to that but we will not be believed.

[thomasteve]

If a partner can claim physical or psychological abuse then they may be eligible for help in staying at a 'refuge' or safe house along with subsequent emergency housing (or B&B / hotel if none available) then priority social housing allocation, free legal and immigration advice and a different set of possibly more lenient visa rules can be applied even if they are overstayers.

Edited September 11, 2013 by thomasteve

[Jay Sata]

"If a partner can claim physical or psychological abuse"

Those words say it all and are the door to "priority social housing allocation, free legal and immigration advice and a different set of possibly more lenient visa rules can be applied even if they are overstayers"

A prime example of how easy it is to fiddle the system.

[7by7]

As I said earlier, they have to prove it with evidence such as medical and police reports.

But don't let the facts interfere with your prejudices.

This topic has degenerated into another immigrant bashfest of no further use to anyone.

[transam]

As I said earlier, they have to prove it with evidence such as medical and police reports.

But don't let the facts interfere with your prejudices.

This topic has degenerated into another immigrant bashfest of no further use to anyone.

Truth sometimes hurts, but not for some.

[7by7]

Ah, I see!

That is why you so often ignore facts which interfere with your prejudices.

[Hedghog]

Split my sides laughing at this post.

Op you've been had.

Unlucky

Sent from my GT-P7500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[lormakmak]

Small update, solicitors say she has no right to my assets as we have no kids and haven't been married long enough, paperwork is being prepared for divorce but of course if she doesn't surface then it cannot be served.

I have taken her off the council tax register, was advised to do this so she cannot get any credit as has no fixed abode, if she does run up any debt then I am not liable!

As for laughing at me, well yes I have been used for a visa but I believe in karma and in the cold light of day am glad to be rid of her, I still have my job, my assets and a life with lots of friends and family that will support me, she is the loser in all this as I paid for everything and any money she earned she had to herself and to send home to the buffalo, now if she wants to stay in the UK then she's got to start paying bills, she won't like that!

In order for her to receive any benefits I really don't know if she can or not? Don't care really, if she is shacked up with someone else then she can be their problem now, I was a very tolerant man towards her, gave her freedom and she got all she needed, in many ways spoiled her, no I never hit her but she could throw a tantrum and had attacked me where by I had to restrain her but I've seen worse and this was when she had had a drink.

So the last thing she will get from me is a divorce, just glad we never had any kids.

Thanks for the kind words and also thanks to those chuckling as it keeps it real, I was had for a visa by a farmers girl, I'll get over it!

[7by7]

Sensible thinking, lormakmak.

Draw a line and move on.

As Nietzsche said "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."