Claiming child benefit from absent father

[stoneyboy]

The father of my girlfriends son is alive and well and works and he is Thai,if he like thousands of others doesn't pay a bean what chance does this woman honestly have with a foreigner.

Thai family law seems to favour men when it comes to not taking responsibility.

Good luck but you have zero chance I'm afraid.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[woodside30]

I would say that this would be a civil case to be heard in UK as he is British and works for a UK company. If successful then an attachment order could be placed on his earnings.

Good luck

[oxo1947]

You do have 2 chances simon43--------------- Fat & Slim

I am sure the UK passport will help him out a lot in his latter life---so he has something to thank the guy for.

They do not attribute any blame to Thai males----How can they ---Siddhattha Gotama (Buddha ) Took one look at his wife and child and said--- This child will be a ball and chain to me, he left the next day, never to return.

Meanwhile your paying for everything-----welcome to Thailand.

Edited October 21, 2013 by oxo1947

[cocopops]

Actually, I should have stated some points more clearly. The SIL does not want to claim UK child benefits from the CSA, but simply wants the father to contribute towards the upbringing of his son.

He previously and willingly sent money from his (rather substantial) oil & gas industry income, but that stopped and he doesn't reply to her emails (which she sends in simple English).

I have known her for 10 years, so this is not some stranger who has made up a story. She would much prefer him to voluntarily make a monthly payment, but that seems unlikely since he is not replying to her emails. He is employed outside the UK by a UK company and UK law states that if an award is made against him to pay child support, then he is legally required to pay this, even to have it deducted from his salary. This is the case even though he works outside the UK because his employer is a British company.

The problem is for the mother to bring a legal case against him and since neither her nor their son is in the UK, there seems no solution to this problem.

The mother has sent her emails also to his employer, (because he will not reply to her). So his employer is also aware of the situation. Perhaps she can 'embarrass' him into making some payment?

Go to his family if you wish to embarrass him into paying. An employer can't really be expected to tell slander from fact, and probably shouldn't be expected to help even if they could.

Family is different though. Grandparents would be ideal, the younger and more active the better. Contact them and let them know the situation. You're concerned for their Grandchild, currently growing up in an impoverished environment with substandard education and a bleak future. Include strategic photos that support these claims.

Provide them with copies of all the documents you have. Anything at all that backs up your story. But do not criticize the delinquent father, not even implicitly. If anything you're concerned about him too - you have been unable to contact him. If they're the kind of decent people you're looking for, they'll do the criticizing themselves. If you do it they'll close ranks and protect their son.

And good luck. Don't let the misogyny of some of the other posters on this deter you. The kid deserves to be supported and has a parent that is clearly capable of providing that support. Make it happen, sir!

[Mario2008]

The father of my girlfriends son is alive and well and works and he is Thai,if he like thousands of others doesn't pay a bean what chance does this woman honestly have with a foreigner.

Thai family law seems to favour men when it comes to not taking responsibility.

Good luck but you have zero chance I'm afraid.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Thai law gives them the same rights as in many other countries.

As in many countries, the problem is not the law, but enforcing the outcome. Many people do not have an official employee/job, thus wages cannot be taken by court order. But in cases people have an official job, the Thai courts do require the employer to deduct child support and pay it to the other parent.

[JackieMager]

i think thats absolutely disgusting that she contact his work....but hate to say, typical of a Thai woman. Why cant she go out to work....why cant she get one of the many people in her family to care for the child as most Thais do. Nahhhhhh, you might know her for ten years but she is still Thai and this is how they are. Ok lets say 90% of the Thai woman. Sorry. Tell her to get a job and get a life. Build a bridge and get over it.

[prakhonchai nick]

i think thats absolutely disgusting that she contact his work....but hate to say, typical of a Thai woman. Why cant she go out to work....why cant she get one of the many people in her family to care for the child as most Thais do. Nahhhhhh, you might know her for ten years but she is still Thai and this is how they are. Ok lets say 90% of the Thai woman. Sorry. Tell her to get a job and get a life. Build a bridge and get over it.

Contacting his employer or family is really a last resort, and if the father would respond to payment requests, would be unnecessary.

Nothing disgusting about it at all - and very far from typical of a Thai woman. Most sadly would do nothing. Greng jai!!!

I am sure she would like to start a new life, with work herself, but even her likely paltry income does not absolve the father from his duty (;legal and moral) of supporting his child.

[JackieMager]

that might have sounded harsh......but she certainly doesn't have the money to fight. Having lived in Thailand for 6 years I know that most impoverished Thai woman hand the child over to some one in the family and get some sort of work to pay the childs education. It is not some thing us westerners would do but its not unheard of either.......do you really think the Thais are going to follow through unless they are paid well in their pockets let alone anything else. Do you know how many Thai woman carry westerners babies. They get themselves in this mess for a meal, a handbag or whatever...then cry when they discover they are carrying child. I hope all goes well for her but I cannot see her ever hearing from the man again...he probably has family and his own children, came over here to find a Thai for one reason only and now the damage is done and cannot be repaired. Its up to her to get on with her life and see her families support and advice.

[prakhonchai nick]

that might have sounded harsh......but she certainly doesn't have the money to fight. Having lived in Thailand for 6 years I know that most impoverished Thai woman hand the child over to some one in the family and get some sort of work to pay the childs education. It is not some thing us westerners would do but its not unheard of either.......do you really think the Thais are going to follow through unless they are paid well in their pockets let alone anything else. Do you know how many Thai woman carry westerners babies. They get themselves in this mess for a meal, a handbag or whatever...then cry when they discover they are carrying child. I hope all goes well for her but I cannot see her ever hearing from the man again...he probably has family and his own children, came over here to find a Thai for one reason only and now the damage is done and cannot be repaired. Its up to her to get on with her life and see her families support and advice.

If we accept what you are advocating, then we are classing the Mother as a 2nd class citizen.

She has borne a child from a British citizen, the child also having British citizenship and his surname is the same as his fathers.

Just because the Mother is Thai,(living in Thailand) why should she, and the child not receive the same benefits that are provided to women in the UK?

It is accepted that the CSA will not assist her, because there is no agreement to do so with Thailand. But that does not preclude her taking appropriate court action (other than the fact that like 99,9% of Thai women in a similar situation, she could not afford it)

[Sydebolle]

Simon,

get her to the British Embassy at Wireless and maybe a helping hand in translations would be appropriate. In other countries child support is mandatory and if the father refuses to pay, then the government will advance the child support and get it from the father. As an oil&gas boy he needs passports etc. and trust me, the government gets him sooner or later.

Good luck!

[givenall]

Sent from my ST25i using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[JackieMager]

6.000 a month is quite enough,lets not get greedy because hes a foriegner eh...15.000 a month is a months wages to a thai guy.you think a thai would pay that...no and nor should the english guy..seems a bit of gold digging,but i could be wrong..

yes, no offense to anyone including Thais...but I 100% agree with Winstonc.

I think if the woman were reasonable in her amount she might have a chance of receiving a monthly sum....as I said in an earlier post 30.000 baht for a Thai is a fortune....I say maximum 10.000 and she would have a better chance.

[HOOD Robin]

wondering if OP also would go after tilak of his (ex) SIL if this guy was a Thai man...

[bigbamboo]

The key question here seems to be WHY did he suddenly stop the payments and all further contact?

It could be any number of reasons. Maybe he couldn't afford it any more because he'd lost his job. Or he'd met someone else and didn't want them to know about the baby. He may even have another child with them now. Whatever the reason you should try to find out if his circumstances have changed. If it's just a question of the amount then, as others have suggested, negotiate... at least at first. 30k a month child support was a lot in Thailand but he should do the decent thing and help out in any way he can.

Good luck to you all anyway.

[SjaakNL2013]

Maybe there did happen something with the guy involved. Accident ? Dead ? Most here go out from the bad nature they have themselves.

Edited October 21, 2013 by SjaakNL2013

[belg]

maybe the guy is DEAD?

or he found out about that he is NOT the real father of the child

or the girl is having multiple online boyfriends

[benalibina]

maybe the guy is DEAD?

or he found out about that he is NOT the real father of the child

or the girl is having multiple online boyfriends

Suspicious mind ?

[JackieMager]

You know what.....he lives in the UK, she is Thai and lives in Thailand. Do you know how many thai woman end up having babies with foreigners.

Do you think half of them care.....as long as they got their jollys while they were here, then go back home to their wives or girlfriends.....outa sight outa mind.

Over red rover. Honestly and truthfully she has no hope in hell. Thats my honest opinion.hopefully Im wrong.....

[lineofentry]

Just a quick note of enlightenment regarding the British Governments' Child Support Agency - the CSA.

This agency could more accurately be called the Social Security Payments Claw Back Agency, they are not the slightest bit interested in children or support of children. They are only interested in recovering/charging cash for the government. If the OPs SiL isn't claiming any benefits for the child then the CSA will have no interest, regardless of residence.

[DarloKnight]

Just a quick note of enlightenment regarding the British Governments' Child Support Agency - the CSA.

This agency could more accurately be called the Social Security Payments Claw Back Agency, they are not the slightest bit interested in children or support of children. They are only interested in recovering/charging cash for the government. If the OPs SiL isn't claiming any benefits for the child then the CSA will have no interest, regardless of residence.

This is wrong I'm a full time management accountant never claimed a benefit in my life and still get CSA ? Also to the OP the absent father must be earning at least 4k a month for that amount under the new scheme. I can see both sides to this my ex as not seen is daughter since she was 7 months old she is now 15 he has never made contact! Only to threaten me unless I stopped CSA which I haven't and the money gets transferred into daughters bank...,, I suppose I'm lucky I can afford to do this.

[SjaakNL2013]

Just a quick note of enlightenment regarding the British Governments' Child Support Agency - the CSA.

This agency could more accurately be called the Social Security Payments Claw Back Agency, they are not the slightest bit interested in children or support of children. They are only interested in recovering/charging cash for the government. If the OPs SiL isn't claiming any benefits for the child then the CSA will have no interest, regardless of residence.

I agree that most of those institutes are not a perfect solution, but in a perfect world you wouldn't need them. Sadly in this world are many people who try to escape their responsibilities and then it's good that an institute like your CSA is there to help and enforce justice.

Most complains about this institutes come from people who want to escape their responsibilities.

[tingtongteesood]

Good on you for trying to help but I fear there is little you can do and I am sure the father knows this.

[benalibina]

If story of OP is truthfully given by lady in question than she has a point if she is truly concerned about taking care of the kid. Seems however, sorry to say, that from my experience there is alot more to it. Hope OP that you must think it as well. If a story told is to good to be true, well.....most likely it aint then.

[Thai at Heart]

that might have sounded harsh......but she certainly doesn't have the money to fight. Having lived in Thailand for 6 years I know that most impoverished Thai woman hand the child over to some one in the family and get some sort of work to pay the childs education. It is not some thing us westerners would do but its not unheard of either.......do you really think the Thais are going to follow through unless they are paid well in their pockets let alone anything else. Do you know how many Thai woman carry westerners babies. They get themselves in this mess for a meal, a handbag or whatever...then cry when they discover they are carrying child. I hope all goes well for her but I cannot see her ever hearing from the man again...he probably has family and his own children, came over here to find a Thai for one reason only and now the damage is done and cannot be repaired. Its up to her to get on with her life and see her families support and advice.

Doesn't change the fact that the child is his.

[quiuvo]

If you somehow are able to get to court, be prepared for DNA testing.

[ExpatJ]

If he is a decent guy he may just be having financial difficulties and just be trying to avoid the whole situation with some angst on his side - in which case send him a warning before doing any of the suggested below:

Thai law says that fathers must contribute to their child's keeping financially- most thai mothers dont know/dont bother about the law. But you could get a court order in Thailand against him and inform immigration authorities which may cause problems for the father when he comes to Thailand in the future especially if you inform his company that he is under legal indictment in Thailand. You could also inform the father that you will take these steps and if he is someone who loves Thailand or needs to come here for work that may spook him into paying up.

Ultimately, if he has money and has just decided to abandon his child you might want to consider 'naming and shaming'- google for all the email addresses you can in his company and then email the birth certificate, pic of baby and brief narrative to them all.

[simon43]

If you somehow are able to get to court, be prepared for DNA testing

I don't think the SIL has any problems about this - the boy is the spitting image of the father......

Simon

[harryfrompattaya]

If she is not in the UK then no chance, as far as I remember only Service personnel can claim Child Benefit when outside of the UK.

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit/start/who-qualifies/live-work-abroad.htm

The problem lies in Thailand.

Governmental offices are bound to collect child benefit or alimony.

Having done that, they need a governmental office in Thailand to receive the money and send it to the applicant.

Thailand does not have an office to handle this.

Actually there is a way around that. In the U.S. the State child enforcement agency will collect on behalf of a Thai mother and forward the child support to her in Thailand. In other words, Thai courts are not involved. Whether this is available in the U.K. requires a U.K. attorney/solicitor to explore. I know of one and will provide the information via PM for anyone interested.

The States take child support very serious. I have a brother in law who works for the welfare system. That is all he does is track down dead beat parents and force them to pay support money.

Maybe she can claim the father is American

[Boxclever]

Your SiL wants 30k per month?!!!

Even Thai courts recognise that alimony payments are to help raise the child NOT to provide the Mother with funds to last her a life time.

2- 3k per month maximum and even a Thai court will saction that.