This is so politically incorrect, but here we go:

This is a record of a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service today......
Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service. "
Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"
Guest: ".....What?? "
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."
Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken ? Creepse?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"
Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."
RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means."
RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Uoo don wan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we botter?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin! !! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RoomService: "We botter?"
Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."
RoomService: "Wad?!?"
Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."
RoomService: "Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse me?"
RoomService: "Copy...tea. .meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."
RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh and copy ... Rye ??"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
RoomService: "Tanjooberrymutts. "
Guest: "You're welcome"

Would like to know how Chinese is spoken in the UK/USA

Met a Chinese bloke in Koh Chang, had to ask where he was from as his Enlish was better than mine, sorry to be a thread killer.

Met a Scotsman recently. I asked him many times what his name was and what town he was from and finally gave up. Still don't know. Called him "you" all evening!

Met a Scotsman recently. I asked him many times what his name was and what town he was from and finally gave up. Still don't know. Called him "you" all evening!

I thought all Americans called everybody 'you all' morning afternoon and evening!