Friendy jokes about nationality

[MrGaoMungGawn]

""I just say Thai humor does not contain a lot of jokes, in the form of telling some short story with a logical/situational punchline.

And I note your post does not contain a joke.""

Are you talking about a joke like this?:

"Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much."
"No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man."

To me, that is a good joke.

Or, what about this logical situational gem:

(Because this kind of a joke really gets me rolling on the floor with laughter, even if I might be alone at the time, although, I am the jokster.)

"Since she happened to be clutching the long broom, she tried to tickle him from the doorway. This had no effect, and so she grew annoyed and began poking Gregor. It was only upon shoving him from his place but meeting no resistance that she became alert. When the true state of affairs now dawned on the charwoman, her eyes bulged with amazement and she whistled to herself. But instead of dawdling there, she yanked the bedroom door open andhollered into the darkness: "Go and look, it's croaked; it's lying there, absolutely croaked!"

Edited January 13, 2014 by MrGaoMungGawn

[manarak]

""I just say Thai humor does not contain a lot of jokes, in the form of telling some short story with a logical/situational punchline.

And I note your post does not contain a joke.""

Are you talking about a joke like this?:

"Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much."

"No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man."

To me, that is a good joke.

Or, what about this logical situational gem:

(Because this kind of a joke really gets me rolling on the floor with laughter, even if I might be alone at the time, although, I am the jokster.)

"Since she happened to be clutching the long broom, she tried to tickle him from the doorway. This had no effect, and so she grew annoyed and began poking Gregor. It was only upon shoving him from his place but meeting no resistance that she became alert. When the true state of affairs now dawned on the charwoman, her eyes bulged with amazement and she whistled to herself. But instead of dawdling there, she yanked the bedroom door open andhollered into the darkness: "Go and look, it's croaked; it's lying there, absolutely croaked!"

To me, the first one isn't quite a joke, because there is no story. it's just funny-witty conversational humor.

The second one, I didn't get. I understand the English words on their own, but maybe there are double entendres, so if my English was better I could get it.

A cleaning woman finds a dead "Gregor" in a room, probably an animal, since it is referred to as "it" and yells into another room which is dark, that "it" is dead, completely dead ??

It's probably some kind of wordplay / double entendre or something - it's exactly what I mean, the funny thing is not in the story, it's somewhere hidden in the words.

A proper situational/logical joke remains funny even when translated.

Edited January 13, 2014 by manarak

[CryWolf]

I think telling jokes about nationality is a matter of upbringing. I can't imagine my father or mother ever telling a joke about a persons nationality nor would I ever allow it in my home.

A joke can be friendly, and some are just mean.. Hope you learn the difference sometime..

This young woman walks into a big NYC bank and says to the teller that she wants to take out a loan for $5000 so she can go to Europe for a week. The teller says, "we'll need collateral for a loan of that size for this purpose." The woman takes out the keys to a brand new Rolls Royce Phantom, and says "I'm sure that this will be more than suitable"

The teller immediately calls his supervisor, who calls his boss, who has some one check out whether the car was stolen, but it turns out this young woman legally bought that car from a reputable dealer earlier that day. So they accept the car as collateral, parking it in the bank's garage and securing the keys in the vault. The woman takes her money and goes to Europe.

She comes back a week later and says that she'd like to pay back the loan and get her car back. So she pays back the $5000 plus $5 for the interest.

The teller says, "We ran a background check on you, and you're very wealthy already. Why did you take a loan for a week long trip to Europe and put a Rolls Royce as collateral?"

Looking up from her check book the woman says, "Where else in NYC can I pay $5 to park my Rolls Royce for a week and expect it to be there when I get back?"

[thailiketoo]

I think telling jokes about nationality is a matter of upbringing. I can't imagine my father or mother ever telling a joke about a persons nationality nor would I ever allow it in my home.

A joke can be friendly, and some are just mean.. Hope you learn the difference sometime..

This young woman walks into a big NYC bank and says to the teller that she wants to take out a loan for $5000 so she can go to Europe for a week. The teller says, "we'll need collateral for a loan of that size for this purpose." The woman takes out the keys to a brand new Rolls Royce Phantom, and says "I'm sure that this will be more than suitable"

The teller immediately calls his supervisor, who calls his boss, who has some one check out whether the car was stolen, but it turns out this young woman legally bought that car from a reputable dealer earlier that day. So they accept the car as collateral, parking it in the bank's garage and securing the keys in the vault. The woman takes her money and goes to Europe.

She comes back a week later and says that she'd like to pay back the loan and get her car back. So she pays back the $5000 plus $5 for the interest.

The teller says, "We ran a background check on you, and you're very wealthy already. Why did you take a loan for a week long trip to Europe and put a Rolls Royce as collateral?"

Looking up from her check book the woman says, "Where else in NYC can I pay $5 to park my Rolls Royce for a week and expect it to be there when I get back?"

The above joke was not about a persons nationality. So I have no idea what you are talking about. You make no sense. What is your point? Are you telling a joke about rich people from NYC? Hardly a nationality eh?

Hope you learn the difference sometime. Because the above joke makes you seem clueless whatever your nationality.

[CryWolf]

I think telling jokes about nationality is a matter of upbringing. I can't imagine my father or mother ever telling a joke about a persons nationality nor would I ever allow it in my home.

A joke can be friendly, and some are just mean.. Hope you learn the difference sometime..

This young Indian woman walks into a big NYC bank and says to the teller that she wants to take out a loan for $5000 so she can go to Europe for a week. The teller says, "we'll need collateral for a loan of that size for this purpose." The woman takes out the keys to a brand new Rolls Royce Phantom, and says "I'm sure that this will be more than suitable"

The teller immediately calls his supervisor, who calls his boss, who has some one check out whether the car was stolen, but it turns out this young woman legally bought that car from a reputable dealer earlier that day. So they accept the car as collateral, parking it in the bank's garage and securing the keys in the vault. The woman takes her money and goes to Europe.

She comes back a week later and says that she'd like to pay back the loan and get her car back. So she pays back the $5000 plus $5 for the interest.

The teller says, "We ran a background check on you, and you're very wealthy already. Why did you take a loan for a week long trip to Europe and put a Rolls Royce as collateral?"

Looking up from her check book the woman says, "Where else in NYC can I pay $5 to park my Rolls Royce for a week and expect it to be there when I get back?"

The above joke was not about a persons nationality. So I have no idea what you are talking about. You make no sense. What is your point? Are you telling a joke about rich people from NYC? Hardly a nationality eh?

Hope you learn the difference sometime. Because the above joke makes you seem clueless whatever your nationality.

i'm sorry the point got lost as the car owner was from India.. Now that it's edited it might even give you a slight giggle.

Edited January 13, 2014 by CryWolf

[thailiketoo]

I think telling jokes about nationality is a matter of upbringing. I can't imagine my father or mother ever telling a joke about a persons nationality nor would I ever allow it in my home.

A joke can be friendly, and some are just mean.. Hope you learn the difference sometime..

This young Indian woman walks into a big NYC bank and says to the teller that she wants to take out a loan for $5000 so she can go to Europe for a week. The teller says, "we'll need collateral for a loan of that size for this purpose." The woman takes out the keys to a brand new Rolls Royce Phantom, and says "I'm sure that this will be more than suitable"

The teller immediately calls his supervisor, who calls his boss, who has some one check out whether the car was stolen, but it turns out this young woman legally bought that car from a reputable dealer earlier that day. So they accept the car as collateral, parking it in the bank's garage and securing the keys in the vault. The woman takes her money and goes to Europe.

She comes back a week later and says that she'd like to pay back the loan and get her car back. So she pays back the $5000 plus $5 for the interest.

The teller says, "We ran a background check on you, and you're very wealthy already. Why did you take a loan for a week long trip to Europe and put a Rolls Royce as collateral?"

Looking up from her check book the woman says, "Where else in NYC can I pay $5 to park my Rolls Royce for a week and expect it to be there when I get back?"

The above joke was not about a persons nationality. So I have no idea what you are talking about. You make no sense. What is your point? Are you telling a joke about rich people from NYC? Hardly a nationality eh?

Hope you learn the difference sometime. Because the above joke makes you seem clueless whatever your nationality.

i'm sorry the point got lost as the car owner was from India.. Now that it's edited it might even give you a slight giggle.

I can't imagine the mocking an Indian person would be funny and it would only create animosity. I was brought up by educated, intelligent parents who would never have allowed such crude ethnocentrism in our home.

My father worked for an international company with many nationalities. I was educated at an international college with many different nationalities. I see no place for humor based on nationality. When and where it occurs it only creates trouble. Especially in a forum like this where people of many nationalities post one would have to have a screw loose to post jokes about others nationality.

I think it does point out that there is a mentality of hooliganism that some types find funny and violence at foot ball matches and drunken bar fights go part and parcel with that life style. F this and F that and a general style of behavior that I associate with those kind of people.

I doubt that Tony Blair joked with Joe Biden today, "Joe, did you hear the one about the Rabbi and the Palestinian farmer?"

Edited January 13, 2014 by thailiketoo

[CryWolf]

@thailiketoo.. I suggest you lighten up. Did you eber go to a stand-up show?

[thailiketoo]

@thailiketoo.. I suggest you lighten up. Did you eber go to a stand-up show?

OK maybe I am being to serious. You're meeting your new Thai father in law right? I got a joke for you. Why is sleeping with a Thai hooker a bit like playing a round of golf? You can google for the punch line. He'll think you are a riot!

[rgs2001uk]

@thailiketoo.. I suggest you lighten up. Did you eber go to a stand-up show?

OK maybe I am being to serious. You're meeting your new Thai father in law right? I got a joke for you. Why is sleeping with a Thai hooker a bit like playing a round of golf? You can google for the punch line. He'll think you are a riot!

Ok heres one my Thai FIL told me, the Indian and the snake.

Whats even better every Thai knows it.

[thailiketoo]

@thailiketoo.. I suggest you lighten up. Did you eber go to a stand-up show?

OK maybe I am being to serious. You're meeting your new Thai father in law right? I got a joke for you. Why is sleeping with a Thai hooker a bit like playing a round of golf? You can google for the punch line. He'll think you are a riot!

Ok heres one my Thai FIL told me, the Indian and the snake.

Whats even better every Thai knows it.

It is not a joke. It is an insult of Indian people. And every Thai and every Indian knows that.

[CryWolf]

@thailiketoo.. I suggest you lighten up. Did you eber go to a stand-up show?

OK maybe I am being to serious. You're meeting your new Thai father in law right? I got a joke for you. Why is sleeping with a Thai hooker a bit like playing a round of golf? You can google for the punch line. He'll think you are a riot!

Ok heres one my Thai FIL told me, the Indian and the snake.

Whats even better every Thai knows it.

That could be funny.. Unfortunately i can't serve him this joke as he died of cancer in 2008

[thailiketoo]

@thailiketoo.. I suggest you lighten up. Did you eber go to a stand-up show?

OK maybe I am being to serious. You're meeting your new Thai father in law right? I got a joke for you. Why is sleeping with a Thai hooker a bit like playing a round of golf? You can google for the punch line. He'll think you are a riot!

Ok heres one my Thai FIL told me, the Indian and the snake.

Whats even better every Thai knows it.

That could be funny.. Unfortunately i can't serve him this joke as he died of cancer in 2008

The story about the Indian and the snake is not a joke. It is a racial slur against people from India and about as funny as cancer. Which is not funny at all.

[CryWolf]

"The story about the Indian and the snake is not a joke. It is a racial slur against people from India and about as funny as cancer. Which is not funny at all."

I never turn to google for punchlines... bit if this wasn't a joke, then maybe it was posted in the wrong thread

[CryWolf]

Let's just leave it at that. What's funny for some is offending for others.. I appologize if i hurt your fragile feelings

[JesseFrank]

I have to agree, not only does the humor sucks, as was already stated there are "No" friendly jokes about nationality.

Cheers

Where I come from we have a lot of friendly jokes about nationality, also about my own nationality which I can have a good laugh about, but then we are no xenophobes.

[rgs2001uk]

@thailiketoo.. I suggest you lighten up. Did you eber go to a stand-up show?

OK maybe I am being to serious. You're meeting your new Thai father in law right? I got a joke for you. Why is sleeping with a Thai hooker a bit like playing a round of golf? You can google for the punch line. He'll think you are a riot!

Ok heres one my Thai FIL told me, the Indian and the snake.

Whats even better every Thai knows it.

It is not a joke. It is an insult of Indian people. And every Thai and every Indian knows that.

Please oh enlightened one tell us why its a slur, maybe its based on personal experience.

Up my way the Indians are charging 50% per month, eg borrow 2000 baht pay it back at 100 baht per day for 30 days, never mind the t-shirt sellers flogging their tack, 200 baht t-shirt pay it off at 10 baht per day for 30 days. Gotta love them Indians no racism there, same rates for everyone, Thais, Lao, Khmer or Burmese.

How many Indians in India have ever heard the joke, please dont exaggerate.

As for Indians, hows that BJP doing in terms of PC?

[thailiketoo]

OK maybe I am being to serious. You're meeting your new Thai father in law right? I got a joke for you. Why is sleeping with a Thai hooker a bit like playing a round of golf? You can google for the punch line. He'll think you are a riot!

Ok heres one my Thai FIL told me, the Indian and the snake.

Whats even better every Thai knows it.

It is not a joke. It is an insult of Indian people. And every Thai and every Indian knows that.

Please oh enlightened one tell us why its a slur, maybe its based on personal experience.

Up my way the Indians are charging 50% per month, eg borrow 2000 baht pay it back at 100 baht per day for 30 days, never mind the t-shirt sellers flogging their tack, 200 baht t-shirt pay it off at 10 baht per day for 30 days. Gotta love them Indians no racism there, same rates for everyone, Thais, Lao, Khmer or Burmese.

How many Indians in India have ever heard the joke, please dont exaggerate.

As for Indians, hows that BJP doing in terms of PC?

Talk about racism and anti Indian feelings to someone else. I won't play. I will not respond to you further on the matter as it is against forum rules. 7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

[thailiketoo]

I have to agree, not only does the humor sucks, as was already stated there are "No" friendly jokes about nationality.

Cheers

Where I come from we have a lot of friendly jokes about nationality, also about my own nationality which I can have a good laugh about, but then we are no xenophobes.

OK lets hear one? It is my contention there is no such thing as a friendly joke about nationality. Any joke about nationality is hate filled and told with the intention to hurt of offend another nationality. If I'm wrong tell us a joke that is not offensive.

[lmfao]

What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

.

..

..

A bisexual....

lol

No offend intended everyone, it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

[thailiketoo]

What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

..

A bisexual....

lol

No offend intended everyone, it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

Ah, you are the guy who has taught in Thailand for two years but until yesterday never ate fried rice. Not many sheep or goats raised in Thailand as opposed to many other countries. And accusing of a Thai person of bestiality is your idea of a joke?

Accusing a person of bestiality is your idea of a joke? Come on, how old are you really?

Edited January 14, 2014 by thailiketoo

[lmfao]

What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

..

A bisexual....

lol

No offend intended everyone, it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

Ah, you are the guy who has taught in Thailand for two years but until yesterday never ate fried rice. Not many sheep or goats raised in Thailand as opposed to many other countries. And accusing of a Thai person of bestiality is your idea of a joke?

Accusing a person of bestiality is your idea of a joke? Come on, how old are you really?

Haha where did I say I never ate fried rice before in Thailand lol and can you not understand I don't like rice, I must tell everyone I know to come to Thailand For the fried rice..lol

And I have tried fried rice in my home country, you don't need to go to Thailand for that lol we don't need jokes when we can just laugh at you haha have you never heard of Jimmy Carr, very popular comic so how old is he 41, and very successful, I think you just have no sense of humor and miserable. Peace

[thailiketoo]

What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

..

A bisexual....

lol

No offend intended everyone, it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

Ah, you are the guy who has taught in Thailand for two years but until yesterday never ate fried rice. Not many sheep or goats raised in Thailand as opposed to many other countries. And accusing of a Thai person of bestiality is your idea of a joke?

Accusing a person of bestiality is your idea of a joke? Come on, how old are you really?

Haha where did I say I never ate fried rice before in Thailand lol and can you not understand I don't like rice, I must tell everyone I know to come to Thailand For the fried rice..lol

And I have tried fried rice in my home country, you don't need to go to Thailand for that lol we don't need jokes when we can just laugh at you haha have you never heard of Jimmy Carr, very popular comic so how old is he 41, and very successful, I think you just have no sense of humor and miserable. Peace

Have you tried making jokes about Thai male sexuality with animals in Thailand? How did it go? An adult Farang living in Thailand would not make jokes about goats, sheep and Thai male sexuality.

Edited January 14, 2014 by thailiketoo

[lmfao]

What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

..

A bisexual....

lol

No offend intended everyone, it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

Ah, you are the guy who has taught in Thailand for two years but until yesterday never ate fried rice. Not many sheep or goats raised in Thailand as opposed to many other countries. And accusing of a Thai person of bestiality is your idea of a joke?

Accusing a person of bestiality is your idea of a joke? Come on, how old are you really?

Haha where did I say I never ate fried rice before in Thailand lol and can you not understand I don't like rice, I must tell everyone I know to come to Thailand For the fried rice..lol

And I have tried fried rice in my home country, you don't need to go to Thailand for that lol we don't need jokes when we can just laugh at you haha have you never heard of Jimmy Carr, very popular comic so how old is he 41, and very successful, I think you just have no sense of humor and miserable. Peace

Have you tried making jokes about Thai male sexuality with animals in Thailand? How did it go? An adult Farang living in Thailand would not make jokes about goats, sheep and Thai male sexuality.

No I have never and wouldn't disrespect or offend any Thais in any way in Thailand, Its a joke as I explained early and I did say it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

I heard this joke in Australia, They have a sense of humor there, woo I'm starting to think it was a bad idea joining this Forum, Too many Miserable, negative, Unhappy People with a lot of chips on there shoulder.. like yourself

[thailiketoo]

No I have never and wouldn't disrespect or offend any Thais in any way in Thailand, Its a joke as I explained early and I did say it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

I heard this joke in Australia, They have a sense of humor there, woo I'm starting to think it was a bad idea joining this Forum, Too many Miserable, negative, Unhappy People with a lot of chips on there shoulder.. like yourself

You wrote, "What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

..

A bisexual....

lol"

I don't think you live in Thailand but you are pretending that you do. So you should know that Thai people read this forum and they all know you think Thai men who have sex with animals are funny. LOL is what you wrote.

So you wrote the bestiality reference, are you now saying you did not write it from Thailand?

[lmfao]

No I have never and wouldn't disrespect or offend any Thais in any way in Thailand, Its a joke as I explained early and I did say it only a joke and you could change Isaan with any nationally etc..

I heard this joke in Australia, They have a sense of humor there, woo I'm starting to think it was a bad idea joining this Forum, Too many Miserable, negative, Unhappy People with a lot of chips on there shoulder.. like yourself

You wrote, "What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

..

A bisexual....

lol"

I don't think you live in Thailand but you are pretending that you do. So you should know that Thai people read this forum and they all know you think Thai men who have sex with animals are funny. LOL is what you wrote.

So you wrote the bestiality reference, are you now saying you did not write it from Thailand?

Yawn........................................

A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention

[thailiketoo]

You wrote, "What do you call a Isaan man with a Sheep in one arm and a goat in the other?

..

A bisexual....

lol"

I don't think you live in Thailand but you are pretending that you do. So you should know that Thai people read this forum and they all know you think Thai men who have sex with animals are funny. LOL is what you wrote.

So you wrote the bestiality reference, are you now saying you did not write it from Thailand?

Yawn........................................

A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention

Thai people read Thai visa. Joking about Thais being involved in bestiality is done with incredible naivete at best and probably with malicious intent.

How many Thai people read Thai Visa especially now that Western media is getting a bad rap on reporting the demonstrations? 100 or 1000? You can bet your joke will appear on a Thai Chat site before the day is out. Are you proud of yourself?

[CryWolf]

I have to agree, not only does the humor sucks, as was already stated there are "No" friendly jokes about nationality.

Cheers

Where I come from we have a lot of friendly jokes about nationality, also about my own nationality which I can have a good laugh about, but then we are no xenophobes.

OK lets hear one? It is my contention there is no such thing as a friendly joke about nationality. Any joke about nationality is hate filled and told with the intention to hurt of offend another nationality. If I'm wrong tell us a joke that is not offensive.

Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?

They were riverdancing. (if this offended you i'm allmost out of words, but not quite yet lol)

Edited January 14, 2014 by CryWolf

[CryWolf]

Why wasn't Jesus born in Essex, England?

Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!

[thailiketoo]

OK lets hear one? It is my contention there is no such thing as a friendly joke about nationality. Any joke about nationality is hate filled and told with the intention to hurt of offend another nationality. If I'm wrong tell us a joke that is not offensive.

Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?

They were riverdancing. (if this offended you i'm allmost out of words, but not quite yet lol)

It may be a stretch for you but try. Irish dancing vs having sex with animals? Do you see the difference? Irish dancing is legal and socially accepted. Bestiality is not.

That's one.

Two, I think the primary source of humor in your joke is the dance troupe River dance. River dance members don't have to be Irish and the play on words is river not Irish. As anyone who is Irish would know River dancing is only the name of a dance troupe and not of a style of dance. So actually the joke makes no sense to person who knows what River dance is.

In other words riverdance is not a dance but the name of a dance troupe. So there is no such thing as riverdancing.

[CryWolf]

OK lets hear one? It is my contention there is no such thing as a friendly joke about nationality. Any joke about nationality is hate filled and told with the intention to hurt of offend another nationality. If I'm wrong tell us a joke that is not offensive.

Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?

They were riverdancing. (if this offended you i'm allmost out of words, but not quite yet lol)

It may be a stretch for you but try. Irish dancing vs having sex with animals? Do you see the difference? Irish dancing is legal and socially accepted. Bestiality is not.

That's one.

Two, I think the primary source of humor in your joke is the dance troupe River dance. River dance members don't have to be Irish and the play on words is river not Irish. As anyone who is Irish would know River dancing is only the name of a dance troupe and not of a style of dance. So actually the joke makes no sense to person who knows what River dance is.

In other words riverdance is not a dance but the name of a dance troupe. So there is no such thing as riverdancing.

You're a hard nut to crack.. Does anything make you laugh at all?

Try This: Why wasn't Jesus born in Essex, England?

Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!