do you have a with your wife listening to you

[473geo]

I interupt my wife she turns and talks to me, works both ways I guess, it is not unusual for me to be talking and my wife give a response to a question shouted by the children from another part of the house, so, cool with this interupting thing, no big deal.

Edited January 15, 2014 by 473geo

[Sam Gold]

You can explain and make her understand you find it offensive. Of course your average Thai wouldn't care much about what a farang is on about, but she is your girlfriend and if she respects you she will listen and stop doing it.

[Halion]

This type of behavior is rather common in Thailand . If you are talking with a Thai on the telephone you will notice that they often have snippets of conversation with someone at the other end. Thai's think nothing off approaching someone who is on the phone and interrupting them or if you are having a face to face conversation people will simply interrupt without an excuse me or anything like an apology. You can be at the check out at a supermarket and they will push in and address the cashier.

To some they say that it is a cultural anomaly , more likely it is a lack of culture perpetuated by their own sense of importance, lack of parental instruction and just down right ignorant behavior.

Personal sensitivity is another area where local behavior is rather hypocritical. They can be extremely insensitive to others but reserve the right to be highly sensitive about themselves. You will find endless circumstance's where Thai's poke fun at and too a Falangs as they consider that to be (sanuk), however when Falangs poke fun at Thai's it is so often met with a very different response.

[parmo2]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

[mesquite]

Thais care about themselves first, family second and other Asians third. If you want loyalty, love and companionship, get a dog.

Edited January 15, 2014 by mesquite

[crazygreg44]

OP, this is another proof that Thais are the MASTERS of MULTITASKING !! For an example, as it is seen when they ride a motorbike, they phone, hold a sunshade above their heads or eat icecream with the free hand, talk to the kid in their lap, and accelerate, all at the same time. So I think they are still istening to you even when they check their facebook and talk to each of two other persons simultaneously. They can, you & me can't . . . . .

[wprime]

Yep, she says they weren't listening to me anyway so it's not rude.

[sms747]

Marry her then you won't want to talk to her anyway!

[Lancelot]

Happens sometimes when I am in the market. I am buying something when some one barges in and interrupts. I usually just walk way

[marko kok prong]

it used to really annoy me,but only when she would cut me off to talk to her kids,but i agree with a lot of the posts here,if someone talks to you in your own language,you respond cutting off the foriegn language,i don't think it's a particularly thai thing,just a human thing,the longer i stay here,the more i mellow out and really things like this should just be shrugged off,also as my german friend used to say when a few thai ladies get together; "full chicken farm',all clucking at the same time,but i think this can go for women eveywhere,most have a much more cheerful outlook on life and are more exicitable,whereas us guys mostly mumble grumpily until we have a few lagers in us, i could be wrong and i am only expressing my own point of view,before i get a torrent of abuse from other members who don't drink,or think i am not thai enough,it's okay i am used to it.

[wade72]

Rarely happens to me. Wife went to high school in Australia and University in Canada, she is Thai but maybe more farang then I am. When I am talking and someone interrupts me she tells them they are being rude and to wait a minute. I think allot of it has to do with the education level of your partners as well.

[wade72]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

Yep someone who has only associated with bar girls. My wife took a few steps down the social latter to marry me. Her family has a hell of allot more money then mine.

[ntg187]

I had a thai GF once. She was from BKK, at the time she had just finished school for nursing. To make a long story short, we had gotten in a taxi one night to go somewhere nice for dinner and we were talking in english until the taxi driver said something in thai and then they continued to talk in thai the remainder of the way to our destination. I told her what she had done was very rude and she apologized and said she understood. Of course after dinner and a movie, we got another taxi back home and she spoke to the taxi driver in thai the whole way back. I realized trying to make her understand was like hitting my head against a brick wall. That's when I knew the bar girl life was for me and packed up and moved it on down to pattaya. Best decision I ever made.

[freebyrd]

I've lived all over Asia and it's a trait in every country, even among supposedly 'educated' and 'sophisticated' people. Just like the horrible grunt they spit out rather than say 'pardon', 'excuse me' or 'say again please'. It irriitates the hell out of me, even after 30 years, so I look away and count to 10 and show my contempt, then they know I've stopped listening to them, it works most of the time.

[RichBKK]

It's very normal

Grown used to it. Sometimes can be annoying but put it down to just hearing better in their own language. Just have to wait till everyone stops gassing. While they are I tune it out

Also had to get used to saying something around about 3 times. One thing I always loathed was repeating myself but it has had to become second nature. Even if my wife is comfortable with English, ears aren't attuned to it naturally

You do become steadily more patient as the years go by here I tend to find. Unconsciously so. And get used to waiting for everyone to shut their holes before attempting to speak

[Gandtee]

Mine did that to me two days ago. I was in conversation with her sister and she just barged in. Mind you, I was trying to tell her sister how to overcome the unrest in Thailand and how to put it right.

[NHT]

Without reading further,

and without getting into silly "culture" stuff (gosh how do I love this incompetent excuses)

the answer is very simple

She is not interested in what you say, hence, neither in you! Full Stop.

I strongly suggest you look for someone how is. This relationship is a cul-de-sac, meaning, a one way. One need to give, the other is the receiver. Guess, again, who'll need to give!

Good luck

[wym]

Also a language issue - it takes a lot of effort to mentally translate during spoken conversation, so a relief to be able to stop for a while and speak in your native tongue.

Think of when you're in the presence of people chattering away in a language you don't understand - since you have no idea whether what they're talking about at any given moment is important or not, or when a topic is wrapping up and a new one starting, any time you try to get a word in edge-wise you will most likely be doing so in a way that they would consider rude.

English is "just noise" minimum attention to be paid necessary to accomplish their objectives, real meaning in the world about important things is what's being communicated in Thai.

Human nature, don't let it get to you.

But the fact that you're going on about tedious stuff she doesn't really care about is more likely the more relevant factor.

If you're discussing how many baht gold you're going to buy for her and which shop to go to, you'd most likely find her attention more focused.

[trainman34014]

Seems nobody on here understands 'Thainess' !

[Tchooptip]

"when i am talking to my girlfriend and someone comes along and interrupts she automatically turns and answers them leaving me there with my mouth still speaking i think it is very rude so does this happen to you as well or is it just my girlfriend she is a thai lady"

When I am talking to with my wife and someone comes along and interrupts she we automatically turns and answers them leaving me there with my mouth still speaking i think it is very rude not to do so ...she is a Thai woman

Edited January 15, 2014 by Tchooptip

[louse1953]

I was just driving back from the market. There were 5 adult thais, 2 children and myself. There was at least 3 conversations going on most of the time. I was not part of it. As usual the volume level was quite high, but no one was deaf. They were all interrupting each other, - jIt's the culture, yes annoying but not rude to them.

Drove 4 Vietnemese women to the airport last night; they would give the Thai's a run for their money with load multiple conversations. They got the hint when I cranked up some George Thorogood on my 800 watt car system.

You cranked up who?

Not The Who,George Thourghlygood.

[louse1953]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

Crap.

[crazydrummerpauly]

Everything i have to say is so wise and interesting, that if i'm interrupted i immediately stop speaking for 12 hours minimum. What nationality they are is irrelevant, all treated the same. Works a treat.

[crazydrummerpauly]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

Crap.

+1. The describing of Thailand as a 'third world country' is a routine error on TV - can only ever be said by people who have no idea at all what a genuine 'third world country' is like.

[wym]

When you think about it, it actually is impossible to "be offensive" in an objective sense.

Rudeness is not just culturally-specific, but sensitive to context and each individual's psychology, healthy or not.

I find it much better to just not take offense at anything short of theft/fraud over a meaningful amount, physical assault, etc.

Like water off a duck's back.

IMO to take offense is in itself a worse transgression than the "crimes" most people get offended about.

[wym]

+1. The describing of Thailand as a 'third world country' is a routine error on TV - can only ever be said by people who have no idea at all what a genuine 'third world country' is like.

No, the term itself has no objective meaning, is just as arbitrary as the concept of race.

Not to say totally devoid of meaning, just completely subjective and therefore only used productively to the extent the participants in a conversation define the term precisely.

I've started using "earlier developed" and "more recently developed", as of course these clearly make a comparison that is more objective.

And I'm sure even the most patriotic Thais would agree that their country is not yet as fully developed as the US, western Europe and Japan for example.

And that's not even addressing the "gross domestic happiness" argument, or the issue of moral/cultural superiority, which I personally feel have been ignored far too much in giving emphasis to purely economic development, which trend - combined with overpopulation - is in fact destroying our Mother Earth for future generations.

Edited January 15, 2014 by wym

[wym]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

Crap.

No for many here, probably most, this is pretty much universally true for them given their choices of where to live and what sort of lifestyle to pursue.

It is the case that they have chosen/created that reality, but it is just as real to them as your more pleasant/productive reality is to you.

[MAJIC]

I was just driving back from the market. There were 5 adult thais, 2 children and myself. There was at least 3 conversations going on most of the time. I was not part of it. As usual the volume level was quite high, but no one was deaf. They were all interrupting each other, - jIt's the culture, yes annoying but not rude to them.

Turn your car radio up,they soon get the message that you are being rude,but strange not their own rudeness!

[Evolare]

rarely...งง

is that supposed to be a common problem?

however its quite common in my experience with european and american women interrupting.

[khrab]

It doesn't even take a Thai wife or girlfried, just a Thai friend would do.

When I talk with my friend, who comes here only once a week and while we talking, sometimes his sister living next door walks over and starts ejecting oral diarrhea half way.

She does it every time and other female neighbor act the same. And what? Yes my friend drops our conversation on spot and reacts to that sh#t.

First it just stopped talking for a long while. My friend had totally forgotten that and what I was talking. At a point I said to him: "Don't answer. Just ignore IT." He had no idea what I was talking about.

Than I explained it to him this behavour is upmost rude.

So when this happens now I raise my voice and shout: "XXX mai wang"...well, I have do do it EVERY time because it is forgotten instantly.

After that I also say that bad behavour is the easiest to lose face. (In the view of a farang of course....)