Meeting decent thai women ?

[Chicog]

Maybe it's just me, but I prefer the indecent ones.

[mesquite]

Maybe it's just me, but I prefer the indecent ones.

Same here. The good news is they're all indecent.

[mesquite]

Several of the posts seem to put a high value on the woman being educated, having a basic university degree, or higher, and/or having a professional job.

The truth is that formal education and professional achievement have no bearing on the success of a relationship. If it did, PhD's, lawyers, MD's, and CEO's would have great marriages.

A Thai woman with a university degree working in an office who wants a farang is just as likely to be a gold digger, or worse, as a bar girl who wants to marry a farang.

Here's an example of three MD's, professional medical doctors, not doing all that well in the relationship department.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/doctor-accused-harassing-woman-allegedly-called-homewrecker/story?id=21105805

[slipperylobster]

Plenty of decent gals...just do not expect them to be single, young and beautiful. Mine looks good to me, but is divorced and 44 years of age. We share much in common, and have good fun. I could never be as close with a girl in her twenties.Networking is the key. Make friends with an older Thai lady, and eventually she will find somebody for you.

[SandyFeet]

Most foreigners never enter the social circles of well-educated Thai women. There are many well-educated Thai women who would like to meet well-educated and respectable Western men. I married one. Many of her friends (business owners, journalists for Reuters, bank managers, lawyers...) are in their late 30s but still single. They are fussy and do not want a man who won't respect them as an individual. I believe all would consider a Western man. However, most Western men I meet in Chiang Mai are thoroughly unsuitable.

Yes! Why is this so hard for guys here to understand???

[Dante99]

Make friends with an older Thai lady, and eventually she will find somebody for you.

Make friends with an older Thai man and he probably would do the same.

But of course that takes time and probably Thai language skills and certainly the respect required for friendship but who wants/can to do all that bs. It is just much easier to bitch and moan and be superior.

[expatbrat]

just make friends with the right Thais then be patient, when they ask you out, go. embrace the culture and they will embrace you. Its what I did and after just a few weeks they started introducing their single friends to me.

[Dora Donut]

hi there hansum man:)

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Several of the posts seem to put a high value on the woman being educated, having a basic university degree, or higher, and/or having a professional job.

The truth is that formal education and professional achievement have no bearing on the success of a relationship. If it did, PhD's, lawyers, MD's, and CEO's would have great marriages.

A Thai woman with a university degree working in an office who wants a farang is just as likely to be a gold digger, or worse, as a bar girl who wants to marry a farang.

It's not a guarantee, but in Thailand if you have a university degree, almost by definition that means that you're from a family that's a lot better off than the average. That in turn means there are fewer 'emergencies' or the type of crap that tends to befall the lower regions of society. (Mostly related to money, but sometimes including gambling, boneheaded investments and debt, no-good brothers or other crap). (Or, it means you've worked your butt off and been really good to get that degree, which is also good. Either way it's not the degree itself, although a degree is the only thing that will land you a decent job in Thailand.)

Yes, of course they can still be gold diggers, but you're less likely to immediately get stuck in *actual* financial needs.

And then secondly people with a university degree (assuming you're educated to a similar level) would be more likely to share a similar outlook and aspiration in life to yourself. But that's probably the lesser point to the first one.

And then thirdly, if a person is a bit higher class to begin with instead of falling into a middle class through a relationship, they seem less likely to be overly class-conscious to the point they want to put down anyone they perceive as (now) 'below' them, and shop for 'bling' to show off. That's really annoying in a relationship. But if a you as a Thai person start off a bit higher then you're less insecure about that and don't really care what people think, which is a good thing in a relationship with a foreigner. (This is mostly based on single anecdotal evidence though ). But it does seem likely, that a sort of 'nouveau riche' concept applies; those people tend to be way more obnoxious than people for whom money never was much of an issue, and feel less need to continuously flaunt it (shopping! bigger car than their friends!) and put down others to the point of not even want to be seen with people they perceive as lesser. I hate that attitude, and puts a different kind of pressure on your social life, because as a foreigner you will have foreign friends, and those friends will have married bar & farm girls and the like. Then it's seriously un-cool if your wife doesn't want to be caught dead in that sort of company regardless of who those girls are as a person.

[BlackArtemis]

What I mean is by decent and honest thai women is uni educated in families with money.

Tell me one for foreigner you know who is married to a thai who's family is minted!!! You can't cos it doesn't happen.

Even some girls who work in the shopping malls or hairdressers by day are whores by night ( Fact).

As far as I'm concerned the day you give your first monthly 'fee' to your wife then your life and purse strings are slowly getting cut to ribbons.

I am married to a Burmese girl, I don't give a monthly fee as she is my wife, I am not renting her!!!!!

She works full time in uk as a carer and I run a small business. 13 years and I have never paid a monthly (rental) fee and I never will.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Depends on what you mean by minted

Ex wife pull's in 100k+ before expenses (teaches English) Her family is doing quite nicely as her father was a top civil engineer and was part of huge projects (yes this probably meant kickbacks for him in this country)

Ex GF's family was able to pay cash for her Master's degree in Sweden, own multiple condos/houses/land in Bangkok. She's busy working up the ranks in the fashion design world and hopes to run her own shop / line in the coming future.

Current GF's family has tons of land, use this to buy up select plots of lands for investment, her brother runs a huge construction company, just built himself and his grand mothers some giant teak mansions at 15mb+

I know plenty of other foreigners with well to do Thais, maybe their not riding around in 20mb ferraris, but they are way better off than most of the countries and many pensioners.

I don't do this to brag, but to simply state that you are wrong. Lots of us guys here with great girls, you just don't know it because we're not online whining about losing our houses or having thieving in laws because we took our time to find a good girl with a great family.

Also, last time I was in Burma I saw prostitutes there as well, just like all SE Asian countries.

[BlackArtemis]

A friend of mine in his 30's (Western, fluent in Thai), been here 10 years consciously decided to look away from Thais for a meaningsul relationship. Had a few, and very difficult to meet one that doesn't have the mindset of a 12 year old, and no, he's never slept with a prostitute.

He decided to go to Christian meetups to meet somewhat sincere, nice people.

Quite amazing in a Buddhist country really.

32 been here 6+ out of the last 9, I would say my Thai is pretty damn good, my writing needs a lot of help though. I have found just the opposite, I really don't see any other group of people I would want to date, though the young female Chinese travelers sure are a great addition. You do have to work a bit harder, go out on a lot more dates, and filter through a lot more girls than say the west, but it's worth it. Also, most of the Christian Thai girls I know are either no different with the drinking, party life, easy sex, or just have this 1950's US Christian mentality.

[elektrified]

Although there are a lot of stupid farangs here, most of the ones I meet are intelligent. So I never understand why anyone would be interested in a woman who is not well-educated, or have some education. I mean, how could they relate? It's true that even the most well-educated here have only a minimal (if any) knowledge of history, world affairs, etc. but at least (in the case of my g/f), who is educated, we can sit down and have a good conversation and she is very good with her money, invests it, etc. and thinks that girls who place a value on designer bags, etc. are shallow people. It's all about saving for the future of our child around here...to an extreme. Chinese blood....

My friend who lived in Bangkok for 15 years married a woman from Isaan with a 5th grade education. For 20 years, his life in Thailand was seen through her eyes as he didn't know any Thais or speak a word of Thai. When he left for the USA he left her with 200K THB in the bank to take care of the kids. In less than 10 days she had burned through the money on-line gambling, taking the kids and her sister on a weekend trip to Pattaya, etc. My friend called me and asked me to go down to BKK and sell ihs Fortuner SUV for him immediately as his kids had no money to live. I couldn't leave right away so against his better judgment he got his wife to sell the car. She called him to proudly notify him that she had sold the car within one hour of listing it - for 200,000 THB less than market value!

[Thakkar]

It's not a guarantee, but in Thailand if you have a university degree, almost by definition that means that you're from a family that's a lot better off than the average. That in turn means there are fewer 'emergencies' or the type of crap that tends to befall the lower regions of society. (Mostly related to money, but sometimes including gambling, boneheaded investments and debt, no-good brothers or other crap). (Or, it means you've worked your butt off and been really good to get that degree, which is also good. Either way it's not the degree itself, although a degree is the only thing that will land you a decent job in Thailand.)

Yes, of course they can still be gold diggers, but you're less likely to immediately get stuck in *actual* financial needs.

And then secondly people with a university degree (assuming you're educated to a similar level) would be more likely to share a similar outlook and aspiration in life to yourself. But that's probably the lesser point to the first one.

And then thirdly, if a person is a bit higher class to begin with instead of falling into a middle class through a relationship, they seem less likely to be overly class-conscious to the point they want to put down anyone they perceive as (now) 'below' them, and shop for 'bling' to show off. That's really annoying in a relationship. But if a you as a Thai person start off a bit higher then you're less insecure about that and don't really care what people think, which is a good thing in a relationship with a foreigner. (This is mostly based on single anecdotal evidence though ). But it does seem likely, that a sort of 'nouveau riche' concept applies; those people tend to be way more obnoxious than people for whom money never was much of an issue, and feel less need to continuously flaunt it (shopping! bigger car than their friends!) and put down others to the point of not even want to be seen with people they perceive as lesser. I hate that attitude, and puts a different kind of pressure on your social life, because as a foreigner you will have foreign friends, and those friends will have married bar & farm girls and the like. Then it's seriously un-cool if your wife doesn't want to be caught dead in that sort of company regardless of who those girls are as a person.

Whoa there, buddy! That's a boatload of generalizations right there.

Strangely though, you've expressed them in such a way as to make me think, "hmm, it's probably all true."

Not necessarily, of course, but when, as a newly-arrived foreigner, your handle on things are tenuous, these are good rules of thumb to start with. The trick is to move on from that after a time as you (hopefully) become more discerning.

T

[slipperylobster]

Would not prefer bar girls ..........especially those who carry condoms in their purses, and have ten farangs sending monthly payments to their account. Been there, done that... Same as many other farangs. It is a shallow learning curve..and even a shallower partnership.

Thanks anyways, I would look elsewhere.

[ttthailand]

You should look for a girl that fits your lifestyle. If you want to live in Pattaya and go drinking every night then a bar girl may be your best bet. They will join you and will understand when you do the snake walk or pass out. They will be happy to do a few shots and joke with your drunk farang friends and their x bar gfs. You will not be shy nor they will feel uncomfortable as they will have the same ideas.

If you are more reserved and a social drinker, you have a higher education, you exercise, you read books, stay at home more, perhaps still work and enjoy the more upscale life you should look for an educated city girl. They will have some of the same interests as you and will be able to communicate with your farang and Thai friends at a more reasonable level. They will also be less apt to go out drinking at all hours with their Thai friends. Educated Thais to will respect them more and not think of them as bar girls or low class.

If you mix types and find the wrong girl you or her may soon have problems. Nothing worst than taking an X black skinned bar girl to an upscale business party and have everyone look at you and her. She will feel terrible and you will be angry or perhaps shy. In return, nothing worst than to take your nice middle class educated Thai gf to party in Pattaya with your drunk overweight friends and their X hooker gfs. Everyone drunk telling her how sexy she is and wanting her to have a shot or another beer.

Some guys find that nice educated girl that lets them be total drunks. They stay home and get on with their own lives. These relationships normally don't last or are only about money and not about being together and having a future.

There are exceptions to everything I say but this is what I have found in my experiences. Find the girl that enjoys the same activities and you have a better chance of happiness.

My two cents for what it's worth

[WinnieTheKhwai]

My friend who lived in Bangkok for 15 years married a woman from Isaan with a 5th grade education. For 20 years, his life in Thailand was seen through her eyes as he didn't know any Thais or speak a word of Thai. When he left for the USA he left her with 200K THB in the bank to take care of the kids. In less than 10 days she had burned through the money on-line gambling, taking the kids and her sister on a weekend trip to Pattaya, etc. My friend called me and asked me to go down to BKK and sell ihs Fortuner SUV for him immediately as his kids had no money to live. I couldn't leave right away so against his better judgment he got his wife to sell the car. She called him to proudly notify him that she had sold the car within one hour of listing it - for 200,000 THB less than market value!

That's a great example of what I meant when I talked about people lacking even the most basic of money management abilities. And as in the above example, that becomes even more important if she finds herself responsible for your kids at some point.

[mesquite]

Several of the posts seem to put a high value on the woman being educated, having a basic university degree, or higher, and/or having a professional job.

The truth is that formal education and professional achievement have no bearing on the success of a relationship. If it did, PhD's, lawyers, MD's, and CEO's would have great marriages.

A Thai woman with a university degree working in an office who wants a farang is just as likely to be a gold digger, or worse, as a bar girl who wants to marry a farang.

It's not a guarantee, but in Thailand if you have a university degree, almost by definition that means that you're from a family that's a lot better off than the average. That in turn means there are fewer 'emergencies' or the type of crap that tends to befall the lower regions of society. (Mostly related to money, but sometimes including gambling, boneheaded investments and debt, no-good brothers or other crap). (Or, it means you've worked your butt off and been really good to get that degree, which is also good. Either way it's not the degree itself, although a degree is the only thing that will land you a decent job in Thailand.)

Yes, of course they can still be gold diggers, but you're less likely to immediately get stuck in *actual* financial needs.

And then secondly people with a university degree (assuming you're educated to a similar level) would be more likely to share a similar outlook and aspiration in life to yourself. But that's probably the lesser point to the first one.

And then thirdly, if a person is a bit higher class to begin with instead of falling into a middle class through a relationship, they seem less likely to be overly class-conscious to the point they want to put down anyone they perceive as (now) 'below' them, and shop for 'bling' to show off. That's really annoying in a relationship. But if a you as a Thai person start off a bit higher then you're less insecure about that and don't really care what people think, which is a good thing in a relationship with a foreigner. (This is mostly based on single anecdotal evidence though ). But it does seem likely, that a sort of 'nouveau riche' concept applies; those people tend to be way more obnoxious than people for whom money never was much of an issue, and feel less need to continuously flaunt it (shopping! bigger car than their friends!) and put down others to the point of not even want to be seen with people they perceive as lesser. I hate that attitude, and puts a different kind of pressure on your social life, because as a foreigner you will have foreign friends, and those friends will have married bar & farm girls and the like. Then it's seriously un-cool if your wife doesn't want to be caught dead in that sort of company regardless of who those girls are as a person.

I'm not so sure the desire for money is based on need. I believe it's based more on greed, which cuts across all educational and social levels here. Ever meet a rich Thai who wasn't greedy? How about that ex-PM who is worth billions and still robbed the country blind?

[Wacoal]

Several of the posts seem to put a high value on the woman being educated, having a basic university degree, or higher, and/or having a professional job.

The truth is that formal education and professional achievement have no bearing on the success of a relationship. If it did, PhD's, lawyers, MD's, and CEO's would have great marriages.

A Thai woman with a university degree working in an office who wants a farang is just as likely to be a gold digger, or worse, as a bar girl who wants to marry a farang.

It's not a guarantee, but in Thailand if you have a university degree, almost by definition that means that you're from a family that's a lot better off than the average. That in turn means there are fewer 'emergencies' or the type of crap that tends to befall the lower regions of society. (Mostly related to money, but sometimes including gambling, boneheaded investments and debt, no-good brothers or other crap). (Or, it means you've worked your butt off and been really good to get that degree, which is also good. Either way it's not the degree itself, although a degree is the only thing that will land you a decent job in Thailand.)

Yes, of course they can still be gold diggers, but you're less likely to immediately get stuck in *actual* financial needs.

And then secondly people with a university degree (assuming you're educated to a similar level) would be more likely to share a similar outlook and aspiration in life to yourself. But that's probably the lesser point to the first one.

And then thirdly, if a person is a bit higher class to begin with instead of falling into a middle class through a relationship, they seem less likely to be overly class-conscious to the point they want to put down anyone they perceive as (now) 'below' them, and shop for 'bling' to show off. That's really annoying in a relationship. But if a you as a Thai person start off a bit higher then you're less insecure about that and don't really care what people think, which is a good thing in a relationship with a foreigner. (This is mostly based on single anecdotal evidence though ). But it does seem likely, that a sort of 'nouveau riche' concept applies; those people tend to be way more obnoxious than people for whom money never was much of an issue, and feel less need to continuously flaunt it (shopping! bigger car than their friends!) and put down others to the point of not even want to be seen with people they perceive as lesser. I hate that attitude, and puts a different kind of pressure on your social life, because as a foreigner you will have foreign friends, and those friends will have married bar & farm girls and the like. Then it's seriously un-cool if your wife doesn't want to be caught dead in that sort of company regardless of who those girls are as a person.

can you tell us what is perceived as the single most undesirable common characteristic of "bar & farm girls and the like" (besides not voting democrat )

[BlackArtemis]

Several of the posts seem to put a high value on the woman being educated, having a basic university degree, or higher, and/or having a professional job.

The truth is that formal education and professional achievement have no bearing on the success of a relationship. If it did, PhD's, lawyers, MD's, and CEO's would have great marriages.

A Thai woman with a university degree working in an office who wants a farang is just as likely to be a gold digger, or worse, as a bar girl who wants to marry a farang.

It's not a guarantee, but in Thailand if you have a university degree, almost by definition that means that you're from a family that's a lot better off than the average. That in turn means there are fewer 'emergencies' or the type of crap that tends to befall the lower regions of society. (Mostly related to money, but sometimes including gambling, boneheaded investments and debt, no-good brothers or other crap). (Or, it means you've worked your butt off and been really good to get that degree, which is also good. Either way it's not the degree itself, although a degree is the only thing that will land you a decent job in Thailand.)

Yes, of course they can still be gold diggers, but you're less likely to immediately get stuck in *actual* financial needs.

And then secondly people with a university degree (assuming you're educated to a similar level) would be more likely to share a similar outlook and aspiration in life to yourself. But that's probably the lesser point to the first one.

And then thirdly, if a person is a bit higher class to begin with instead of falling into a middle class through a relationship, they seem less likely to be overly class-conscious to the point they want to put down anyone they perceive as (now) 'below' them, and shop for 'bling' to show off. That's really annoying in a relationship. But if a you as a Thai person start off a bit higher then you're less insecure about that and don't really care what people think, which is a good thing in a relationship with a foreigner. (This is mostly based on single anecdotal evidence though ). But it does seem likely, that a sort of 'nouveau riche' concept applies; those people tend to be way more obnoxious than people for whom money never was much of an issue, and feel less need to continuously flaunt it (shopping! bigger car than their friends!) and put down others to the point of not even want to be seen with people they perceive as lesser. I hate that attitude, and puts a different kind of pressure on your social life, because as a foreigner you will have foreign friends, and those friends will have married bar & farm girls and the like. Then it's seriously un-cool if your wife doesn't want to be caught dead in that sort of company regardless of who those girls are as a person.

can you tell us what is perceived as the single most undesirable common characteristic of "bar & farm girls and the like" (besides not voting democrat )

For me it's being under educated and a general naivety and ignorance of the world. This means they are more likely to trust their friends or things they read on the internet rather than hard facts. They might be extremely nice women and even shrewd business women, but I need someone with at least an equal level of education or else I will be come bored. Now, there are farm/rural girls who had that upbringing and have managed to get themselves a decent education. For those girls I would state that dealing with the in laws and village would be the least desirable trait.

As for bar girls, hmmm I don't know, maybe getting DP'ed by two 50 year old white guys in the hopes of saving enough cash to get the new iPhone.