Thai women..the Thai way..?

[monkeycountry]

As is the way of Thaivisa..now totally off topic.

..but better to lay into me than talk about an uncomfortable subject.

No water off my back, duckies, carry on.

Posts like your OP regarding certain mens behavior in Thailand are often posted online and discussed in my home country, by men and women who live in my home country. Some people are clearly using the online forums to went their anger or trying to make certain people feel bad about themselves. It always amuses me, as the men they are talking about are most likely sitting in some gogo in Pattaya and have no idea someone in a country far away (or here on TV) are discussing their behavior - and if they did, I am quite sure they could not care less

My point is, the subject would only be uncomfortable, as you mention, to someone who cares, which the "perpetrators" obviously do not, as they would then not be doing what they do

[Morakot]

Thai women..the Thai way..?

Excellent another gripping instalment by LaraC!

Edited May 27, 2014 by Morakot

[thailiketoo]

As is the way of Thaivisa..now totally off topic.

..but better to lay into me than talk about an uncomfortable subject.

No water off my back, duckies, carry on.

Posts like your OP regarding certain mens behavior in Thailand are often posted online and discussed in my home country, by men and women who live in my home country. Some people are clearly using the online forums to went their anger or trying to make certain people feel bad about themselves. It always amuses me, as the men they are talking about are most likely sitting in some gogo in Pattaya and have no idea someone in a country far away (or here on TV) are discussing their behavior - and if they did, I am quite sure they could not care less

My point is, the subject would only be uncomfortable, as you mention, to someone who cares, which the "perpetrators" obviously do not, as they would then not be doing what they do

My ex wife and the judge had a plan. They wanted to break me. They said so in court. Not too long after that, and my relocation to Thailand, Brunhilda and her husband Casper Milquetoast touristed into a bar on a notorious street in Pattaya. I got a bit carried away. The more they tutted and fretted about my behavior the worse my behavior got. I thought their eyes and heads were going to explode. Brunhilde was actually bouncing up and down in anger.

Looking back on the whole experience I probably should not have done it. I keep thinking someone will eventually post it on Thai Visa.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Edit: the reason i found out he is disabled is because i asked why she showers him everyday. I thought that was a bit extreme on the "caring" front in a normal relationship. I can understand showering together..but she said she would shower/bath him. I at first thought she was just overly motherly to an able bodied guy. So made more sense when she said he is disabled so has trouble doing this himself.

I know many Thai couples where the wife showers her man every day.

It's entirely normal behaviour.

The man you are talking about may or may not have actually been disabled, the Thai lady would change her story to fit in with YOUR expectations, once you had expressed them. One of the big problems in Thailand for many foreigners, they don't understand their expectations are catered for by the Thais they speak with.

[LaraC]

Edit: the reason i found out he is disabled is because i asked why she showers him everyday. I thought that was a bit extreme on the "caring" front in a normal relationship. I can understand showering together..but she said she would shower/bath him. I at first thought she was just overly motherly to an able bodied guy. So made more sense when she said he is disabled so has trouble doing this himself.

I know many Thai couples where the wife showers her man every day.

It's entirely normal behaviour.

The man you are talking about may or may not have actually been disabled, the Thai lady would change her story to fit in with YOUR expectations, once you had expressed them. One of the big problems in Thailand for many foreigners, they don't understand their expectations are catered for by the Thais they speak with.

The conversation was not for my benefit. In fact, she intially did not realise i understand/speak thai. My friend let her know.

The conversation was with my friend..who is HER friend.

Nothing to do with catering to me in any way.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Edit: the reason i found out he is disabled is because i asked why she showers him everyday. I thought that was a bit extreme on the "caring" front in a normal relationship. I can understand showering together..but she said she would shower/bath him. I at first thought she was just overly motherly to an able bodied guy. So made more sense when she said he is disabled so has trouble doing this himself.

I know many Thai couples where the wife showers her man every day.

It's entirely normal behaviour.

The man you are talking about may or may not have actually been disabled, the Thai lady would change her story to fit in with YOUR expectations, once you had expressed them. One of the big problems in Thailand for many foreigners, they don't understand their expectations are catered for by the Thais they speak with.

The conversation was not for my benefit. In fact, she intially did not realise i understand/speak thai. My friend let her know.

The conversation was with my friend..who is HER friend.

Nothing to do with catering to me in any way.

I'm willing to bet the 'disabled' information wasn't volunteered until after you said something or grimaced.

You appear very judgmental, I doubt you would have hidden your feelings.

(Oh my god, shock, horror, grimace, intake of breath, etc.)

Edited May 28, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Razzler1973]

I don't really know what you want people to say

If this is actually the case then 'yeah, seems a bit unfair' but you added in the 'no wonder so many men like it here, etc etc' and including a sweeping generalisation filled with negativity and assumptions

Do you want people to say 'yeah, that's normal. I'm not disabled but I expect my GF to be like that' as it's unlikely anyone does think like that, no matter how much they like it in Thailand

The real issue is the woman in question and anyone that thinks that is the norm. We are all entitled to make our own decisions in life and her friends should be advising her and discussing it with her

I wouldn't say Thai woman accept this as the "norm" anymore than some western women and others in the same situation in their own lives. There are plenty of western women all over the world in bad situations that don't make a choice to get out and it works for guys too

[mesquite]

Im not surprised that as a woman with a viewpoint in a male dominated forum (of which many enjoy being in a country where women can be mistreated more easily), that i get accused regularly of somehow hating men in Thailand. Its an easy insult to throw at me. ..but of course i find it ridiculous.

Sorry,

But what is ridiculous is that you think foreign men mistreat Thai women more than Thai women mistreat foreign men.

From what I can see foreign men are mainly victims in Thailand, just like they were when they were living in the west.

Not seen any hate for men in your posts, have seen a lack of understanding on foreign male/Thai lady relationship dynamics.

Can't blame you for that, if you haven't had a live in sexual relationship with a Thai lady, you won't be able to imagine the insanity (and violence) foreign men often encounter.

Please note my observation does not include Thai/Thai relationships.

Most foreigners (male and female) are unprepared for what happens behind the Asian smiles.

IMHO you can take all the books on Thai/farang relationships, you know the ones that talk about cultural differences, her family, money, etc, and replace them with the above bold quotes.

Nothing could have prepared me for the insanity of my one and only live-in relationship with a Thai woman. The love of my life went from behaving like a princess to the b*tch from H_ll overnight. The verbal abuse, tantrums, baiting, being treated like a dog, and other bizarre behavior left me wondering if I'd lost my mind. Though there was no violence (probably due to my being twice her size) she told me she had had fist fights with other women before. I would have never guessed that. You might ask, why didn't I leave. Well, I did. But it took a while and part of the delay was I couldn't believe her insane behavior was happening, because it hadn't before. BTW, none of this went on in public. There she was the sweet, smiling Thai woman I'd always seen. When we were with her relatives, though, I could tell my position in the family was lower than the family dog.

Before we were together, I had talked to other farang men about their relationships with their Thai wives/gf's and had always gotten an "everything's fine" response. When my relationship turned insane, I talked to them again, and those same men started sharing their experiences, which were identical to mine. One man feared for his life, and his wife had been violent. I became convinced, and still am, that all of those relationships have lasted only because they have a child together, or the man has made a major financial investment he cannot walk away from (read bought her a house), or both.

Best of luck to any farang who enters into a serious relationship with a Thai woman, and if you have a happy marriage, my hat's off to you and I wish you the best. For those who are in the situation I was, I would say get out now, especially if you have yet to make a major financial commitment, which you shouldn't do anyway. Good luck.

Edited May 28, 2014 by mesquite

[LaraC]

Edit: the reason i found out he is disabled is because i asked why she showers him everyday. I thought that was a bit extreme on the "caring" front in a normal relationship. I can understand showering together..but she said she would shower/bath him. I at first thought she was just overly motherly to an able bodied guy. So made more sense when she said he is disabled so has trouble doing this himself.

I know many Thai couples where the wife showers her man every day.

It's entirely normal behaviour.

The man you are talking about may or may not have actually been disabled, the Thai lady would change her story to fit in with YOUR expectations, once you had expressed them. One of the big problems in Thailand for many foreigners, they don't understand their expectations are catered for by the Thais they speak with.

The conversation was not for my benefit. In fact, she intially did not realise i understand/speak thai. My friend let her know.

The conversation was with my friend..who is HER friend.

Nothing to do with catering to me in any way.

I'm willing to bet the 'disabled' information wasn't volunteered until after you said something or grimaced.

You appear very judgmental, I doubt you would have hidden your feelings.

(Oh my god, shock, horror, grimace, intake of breath, etc.)

The man that was described..ive seen him around (its a particular disability).

As for the rest of your post..no, im not American.

[Bigfarang1948]

Spend less time gossiping about others???

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Pride? With a Farang who has the best of all situations it seems. No different here than other countries, especially in the used to be grand old US of A. Well intended ladies take a load of abuse in many forms and continue to put up with it. Shame on the invalid

[GOLDBUGGY]

Well! This certainly wouldn't be the Norm for my Thai Wife, or any other Thai Women I know. If I was in his situation I might as well kiss the Family Jewels Good-bye!

Must be more to this story that you don't know about. Maybe the house is in his name or he holds a huge bank account she needs to survive. At any rate she is not acting Thai Woman Normal. Of this I am sure!