Thai Lateness. Your reaction?

[jackvale]

I'm chronically setting up meetings/dates with Thais and they routinely come a little or very late. Never early but some and only some, right on time.

Whether for business or pleasure, this lack of respect is a terrible way to start things off. Do I have to teach an adult to come on time? Am I expecting too much?

I now double book so there's 2 people booked at 10am (example). If one arrives on time (rare), the other must wait. Since neither usually come on time, this method works smoothly.

I cannot imagine them coming for a job intereview at the bank or hospital late so I don't believe in the Thai culture malarky excuse.

Why do they dissrepect me so much?

What do you say or do if/when this happens?

[David48]

"Why do they dissrepect me so much?"

If you genuinely think that ... you have a lot to learn about Thais and their laissez faire attitude to many things (excpet food ... ).

Tis you not, don't over think the situation.

.

[JLCrab]

I find the explanation of 'Thai lateness' to be very simple:

- If they've got something you want, they are late.

- If you've got something they want, they are on time.

[marko kok prong]

They possibly may have stopped for something to eat on the way,using your example if it was 10 am,well they may not have eaten since 8,so by then they would be starving,and food would become more important than getting to the meeting on time,as a rule they seem to eat at least every 2 hours.

[Seastallion]

I read an article about people's sense of time. This writer said there are two types of people; "In time" and "Out of time"

The "in time" people live in the moment and have very little feeling for the future (and ironically for the name, are never in or on time). The "out of time" people are always looking ahead and thus are punctual.

If we consider this as a reasonable hypothesis, and take into account the apparent lack of future planning and forethought of many Thais, perhaps many Thais are "in time" people?

I have a good mate who I've known for 35 years. He is "in time" and not once in 35 years has he ever been on time. Everything is always a last minute scramble, and he is ALWAYS late. It does not take away from the fact that he is intelligent and an all-round good guy. Just bluddy frustrating!

[Stradavarius37]

If it bothers you, than you are living in the wrong country - move to Switzerland.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[richard_smith237]

If meeting at a Pub with friends it doesn't really matter.... some are late, sometimes I am...

In the past if meeting for a date, 15 mins was the cut off time. If I waited 15 mins and there was no call or explanation, I'd simply leave.

My last date called me 15 mins before hand to indicate she may be late because of traffic, an excellent start (she was on time anyway !) 7 years later we are married with a child!

In a professional setting: being late is disrespectful, delays are tolerated with a good excuse. However, in general being late shows a lack of respect for the other party. Using 'Thai Culture' as an explanation for this doesn't cut it either. In these cases use of the term Culture is often wrongly used as an excuse to explain something negative. Thai's know how to be on time just like any other nation. There are no secrets. If someone is consistently late for you, they don't respect you.

We've had workers booked to do some interior work: They failed to show on a Friday, promised to come on Monday at 9am, at 9am we called them, they told us 15mins, we're nearly there. At 9:30am I called them. They told us 15mins, we're nearly there. At 10am I called them, they told us 15mins, we're nearly there. I told them to forget it. At 10:15am they called, they were at our apartment, I told them I wasn't interested. The owner called up shortly afterwards and complained about the cost of materials etc in producing our inbuilt furniture that they were about to fit.... Not my problem I told him, If his staff are late and lie to me on the phone I won't use his company (luckily I'd refused to pay a deposit for the work).

For the most part - its not about a delay, its about how respectfully a delay is handled. If someone is late, sending a message is polite. Being respectful of someone else does not end at a cultural crossing... Thai's have no excuses if when they are late, they are just careless...

Example: If meeting someone senior, an official for example, would a Thai be late?... in many cases being late is an actual choice within someones control.

For the most part, all my friends are reasonable time keepers - One exception is a friend and he's handled a different way - when meeting at a pub I don't leave my home until he's called to let me know he's on his way !

Edited June 5, 2014 by richard_smith237

[JLCrab]

I just read your post -- now I'm late.

[CharlieH]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

So, what do YOU need to do to get different results ?

Edited June 5, 2014 by CharlieH

[geronimo]

I just shrug my shoulders and carry on with my day.

[Gsxrnz]

I've left the missus behind a few times when I say we go at a certain time or I'll pick her up at a certain time. I "go" at that time if she's in the truck or not.

She figured it out pretty quick. Now, when she organises things that involve me, she impresses heavily on people exactly what xx:pm means, to the point that I'm now rarely disappointed by appointments or meeting times.

However, generally we should realise that it takes two hours to watch 60 Minutes in Thailand.

[Pralaad]

I set up 3-5 job interviews daily. If one shows up on time it's a lucky day.

Why? Have many excuses, in the end those excuses mean nothing and naturally those people do not get the job.

Is it a Thai thing? I do not think so. Serious people take things seriously , ones who do not are not worth wasting time for

[Thanyaburi Mac]

Gsxrnz, my wife's the same, after some difficulties when we first got together some long years ago....

Also long years ago, when I first got to Laos, my farang boss, a retired U.S. Marine O-6, told me to maintain my cool, he said just remember that "bo pen nyang (mai pen lai in Thai) makes manana~ sound like a war cry."

Mac

[Crazy chef 1]

my reaction? i had to learn to live with it.

[hellohello123]

Agree with the point that if they were meeting the king or royalty they would be on time

So does that mean if they are late without a very valid reason, then they are just being disrespectful or Is it just culture

I could imagine a girl who is going on a first date in Thailand and is super keen, and is dressing her best and choosing the best perfume, but being on time doesn't even register in her mind

So is this disrespect? Or cultural differences

If the Thai girl on a first date was 15 mins late, and the guy was another 30 mins later, would she be annoyed?

[jkinbkk]

Had a dinner meeting in BKK arranged once with a Thai friend.

I arrived at the venue slightly ahead of time and got settled, ordered a beer and some nibbles knowing very well this Thai trait regarding punctuality.

30 minutes pass and he calls to inform me traffic is bad, will be another 30 mins.

30 mins later he calls again, "nearly there, crazy traffic, dunno whats happening, about 10 mins more!"

I call him back 30 mins later...phone closed.

I call again after 10 more mins....phone still closed

I pay the bill and go home.

Turns out he was in Chiang Mai when he spoke to me, but could not bring himself to tell me earlier that day that our appointment needed to be rescheduled. He was happy to spin some yarn until the 'loss of face' was too much to bear, then he turned off his phone!

Truly amazing. Still shake my head trying to work that one out to this day. Said event took place 17 years ago.

Edited June 5, 2014 by jkinbkk

[weegee]

Reaction!....same as Gsxrnz...grrrrrrrr.....

[I Like Thai]

They are not tied to a clock or watch like in the West, traditionally they got up when it was bright, if there was work to be done they did it when it was there to be done, then went to sleep when it got dark.

I remember some 20 + years ago in Ireland a CEO of a German company was leaving after approx 15 years working in Ireland. In his farewell speech he said(in a lighthearted manner) that there were three things he learned not to believe in Ireland.

1. The meeting starts at 10.00

2. The cheque is in the post

3. Lets go for a Pint

[hellohello123]

Had a dinner meeting in BKK arranged once with a Thai friend.

I arrived at the venue slightly ahead of time and got settled, ordered a beer and some nibbles knowing very well this Thai trait regarding punctuality.

30 minutes pass and he calls to inform me traffic is bad, will be another 30 mins.

30 mins later he calls again, "nearly there, crazy traffic, dunno whats happening, about 10 mins more!"

I call him back 30 mins later...phone closed.

I call again after 10 more mins....phone still closed

I pay the bill and go home.

Turns out he was in Chiang Mai when he spoke to me, but could not bring himself to tell me earlier that day that our appointment needed to be rescheduled. He was happy to spin some yarn until the 'loss of face' was too much to bear, then he turned off his phone!

Truly amazing. Still shake my head trying to work that one out to this day. Said event took place 17 years ago.

This should go in the face thread

[StefanBBK]

Normal for thailand. Learn to live with it.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[thailiketoo]

My wife is Thai and she is always on time. Her business associates are always on time. I went to immigration yesterday and they opened on time. I had an appointment with the doctor and he was on time. I have Thai TV and all the programs today were on time. I have a Thai dog and every day at exactly 4 PM she comes to the front door to wait for her food.

If anyone would look at an average day in Thailand I think they will find most things happen on time.

[monkeycountry]

"Why do they dissrepect me so much?"

If you genuinely think that ... you have a lot to learn about Thais and their laissez faire attitude to many things (excpet food ... ).

Tis you not, don't over think the situation.

.

Then perhaps the OP should just invite them for lunch :-)

[Neeranam]

My first reaction was to moan about it, then after a few years laugh about it, now I know the way the average Thai thinks is very different from the way the average Westerner thinks. It's a cultural thing due to the Buddhism, IMHO. Thai people don't care if the person they meet is late as they a lot more comfortable enjoying the moment than Westerners, who are not taught "samadtee" or meditative techniques at school.

They will reply, "I am here 'now'", so what's the problem.

They are actually right as time IS an illusion.

[cooked]

I could never understand why people will give a precise time for an appointment and then be late. Tell me you will turn up some time tomorrow, that's ok. Tell me you'll turn up at 08.15 and THEN turn up some time tomorrow, I just lose it.

[Gringogazzer]

But the ferries n buses all run pretty precise & always have a strong crowd of Thai people nice & early. Or did they miss the previous bus or ferry.

Which came 1st, the chicken or the egg...

[Rsquared]

After spending all my working life with the unwritten motto "hurry-up and wait", I have always been a punctual person.

Now after 3 years here, I have found the Thai attitude more relaxing and to never expect things to be on time.....I find it less stressful that way....but that's just me.

Cheers.

[enuff said]

.

"Famous Thai watches for a hundred, Alex."

'nuff said

~

[beautifulthailand99]

If it bothers you, than you are living in the wrong country - move to Switzerland.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

or Japan - never early never late - bullett trains move off to the second.

[beautifulthailand99]

My first reaction was to moan about it, then after a few years laugh about it, now I know the way the average Thai thinks is very different from the way the average Westerner thinks. It's a cultural thing due to the Buddhism, IMHO. Thai people don't care if the person they meet is late as they a lot more comfortable enjoying the moment than Westerners, who are not taught "samadtee" or meditative techniques at school.

They will reply, "I am here 'now'", so what's the problem.

They are actually right as time IS an illusion.

correct all made up by jumped up humans to pretend they rule the bloody show. Try asking a monkey in the jungle for the time - they'll laugh you in the face !.

[marko kok prong]

When i came back to los after 3 month's in Australia,i told my now wife,when i was landing,eta through immigration ,etc,i had a car booked,after 20 mins no show i called her,"oh much traffic on motorway" i could hear talking in the background and plates and cutlery clinking,"where are you " i asked."oh,we nid noy hiw,stop for noodle" she replied,i just smiled and said "okay see you when you get here" 40 mins later she arrived over an hour late,i was a little angry but did not say anything as she was so happy to see me ,did not want to spoil the moment,but she forgot her bag with her clothes in the rush and as we were holidaying for a few days,she had to get a new set of clothes or several as it turned out,but we had a good time and i still joke about thai time with her to this day,i think better not to get to stressed,try and go with the flow.

Edited June 5, 2014 by marko kok prong