Thai girls and their obsession with supporting their parents

[Thongkorn]

why should they change there Culture.

[bonobo]

Frankly, while I can see the point of view offered by the OP, I also would rather see error by going too far in the Thai way than on the way it can go too far in the West with parents abandoned to the nursing homes.

I'm not sure which part of the west you are referring to, certainly in the UK the myth that most families abandon their parents has been exposed as just that myth.

Far from it, multi generational and extended family households have become far more common in the UK (amongst white British Families). Much of that has, like in Thailand, come about by economic pressures, but nevertheless social research on the place of the elderly within British families has revealed that levels of contact with between the aged and their children/grandchildren never ceased to the extent that we were told.

Please re-read my post. I never stated that "most" westerners did anything. What I did post is that when it went to far, I would rather have it go too far with kids supporting their parents as the OP stated happens in Thailand than when it goes too far in the West with parents abandoned.

[tartempion]

Haven't you read Emile Zola's Germinal, published 1885?

Or any of Victor Hugo's books?

I remember 1950, my home town.

In many factory workers families kids aged 14 would do factory work and complement families income with their salary.

Much of Thailand still stuck in that age of poverty.

[RikDao]

My Thai wife, who comes from humble beginnings (which doesn't seem to be such a big deal with Americans, but to the commonwealth types? different story, I think) loves and respects her mom, big time, and wants to help her. My wife has a college degree, but her mom, who is 70, has bowed legs from a lifetime of doing stoop work in the rice fields and carrying rocks on construction sites, always for pennies a day. Nothing neurotic on anybody's part. Her mom is very nice, still cooks for everyone, and deserves the respect and support my wife and I give her.

(Still getting used to this site, I am. Sometimes, actually often I'll see a post that says something like: "Oh my, do we have to talk about this boring subject again?" But these subjects are new to some of us... I'm trying to understand Thai people and their culture, and this site helps, somewhat. I'm seeing that there are many, many bitter people on here, but now and then a sane, positive, optimistic person will chime in and I'll learn something. I'm thankful that I'm not walking around with so much rancor and vitriol in my heart. Please, don't get me wrong, I'm no saint and I get plenty pissed off about this and that, of course I do).

[laislica]

interesting that some people only notice lazy thai men... i personally see many many many thai men (foreign labour) here slaving away and sending money to: meh. or paw. or former wife. or paying for their kids' schooling. and definately not lazy: 12 hour days in 50 celsius heat in a hothouse picking cucumbers. or catching chickens. or planting peppers. with no vacation leave. half day off on saturday (the only day off for all of us). about 22000 thai men only in israel doing this. more in portugal, canada, singapore. taiwan. all working in conditons not a single 'westerner' would accept even for a day. so maybe your defination of lazy is wrong. a friend of ours got back to thailand for two month long vacation after working in flowers industry in portugal. so he doesnt do much around the house, he hangs out a lot. but that is after working for 7 days a week in agriculture in a foreign country. so a two month vacation is fine as far as i can see...

and i dont see a real problem with children supporting their parents in old age. here, parents support children but are expected to help clean/shop/take mom/dad to doctors etc as parents age. people are horrified that i live so far from my own parents (an ocean away)...

just because u were raised a certain way doesnt make it more right or more wrong. it just is. thats the way the person was raised. any large family here gathers every single friday night and saturday lunch ... its expected and required. three generations or more even. americans in particular are seen as 'family-less' poeple that have no concern for elderly relatives, and no respect. (and we are a first world country here but family oriented 100%).

when you are ill and decrepit and no one comes to help, you might then sing a different tune...

becareful with the statements of 'lazy thai male' as that is bordering on racism in my book.

You can also add Spain to your list, in the greenhouses too.

We have a whole bunch of Thai Men friends who live and work in a huge sort of garden centre where they tend the cucumbers, peppers, courgettes tomatoes etc. in the greenhouses.

They also take care of the flowering shrubs and trees outside as well.

They have been there for years and send money back to support their families.

Some of them return to Thailand for an occasional short family visit.

Definitely NOT all Thai men are lazy!!

[MrY]

I'm not referring to scammers...I'm referring to the girls that actually do send money home. Why would you assume I'm giving them money? I've told you many times...I try to roll in higher circles now where the Thais have money and travel outside of Thailand.

Hilarious. Them see you rollin Them hatin...

[Scott]

Troll posts removed.

Please stay on topic and exercise care in chosing your words.

Thai bashing posts will earn a warning and possible suspension.

[marcusd]

You are a trouble maker. Not a psychologist

[mrtoad]

Must admit, I am somewhat slightly peeved our regular Thai expert Sandman hasnt yet chimed it.

Old Sandy boy is probably busy at the soapy massage.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Must admit, I am somewhat slightly peeved our regular Thai expert Sandman hasnt yet chimed it.

Old Sandy boy is probably busy at the soapy massage.

I wonder how much his masseuse weighs?

And is she Akha?

[Squeegee]

Haven't you read Emile Zola's Germinal, published 1885?

Or any of Victor Hugo's books?

I remember 1950, my home town.

In many factory workers families kids aged 14 would do factory work and complement families income with their salary.

Much of Thailand still stuck in that age of poverty.

It would seem Whereustay's education stops at the sign for Nana Plaza, which would explain the errors and gross over-simplifications in the views expressed in the OP.

Edited June 17, 2014 by Squeegee

[wellred]

I wonder how children who cave to this ever manage to grow up and make their own way in life. Over here folks will do everything to help their kids stand on their own 2 feet. But it seems the reverse is going on in Thailand.

[Thai at Heart]

Until you understand the role of women in Thailand and Buddhism, along with the concept of boon, as in Tam boon, you won't get it.

[Patron]

Until you understand the role of women in Thailand and Buddhism, along with the concept of boon, as in Tam boon, you won't get it.

My wife gave Bt3000 of HER money to the family 3 days ago. Yesterday her boss at the Thai restaurant

where she works as the chef,asked if she could help waitress on her only day off.She said OK.

Today she is all smiles and says to me....You see..you see.. I take care family and Buddha smile

at me, I make Bt4,000 in tips. What can I say but.....I get it.

[billd766]

My mother in law is about 18 months younger than me and she lives with us in a small house we built 10 years ago about 20 metres from our house.

She is looked after by my wife and an eye is always kept out for her between us and our neighbours. My wife explained that to me long before we married and asked how I felt about it.

Back then I had no problem and even after 4 years of the MIL living here I still don't.

Her government pension is about 600 baht a month and she doesn't want or need much for herself. We provide for her though I am now thinking of charging her rent, say 10 baht a month.

[Bernard Flint]

I had a Thai girl ask me one time if daughters in America send money

to their parents. After falling to the floor laughing, I was finally able to pick

myself up and tell her in America parents in America help out their grown

children with money. She looked at me in disbelief, and was sure I was lying.

I have a three year old daughter here. And I have made it abundantly clear

to my wife that when our daughter grows up, her mission in life will NOT be

to send her earnings back to her family. It is a sad system of servitude that

I truly dislike.When she is older , I will tell it to her as well.

The sons from Isan seem to be little light in the sending of money, somehow

this burden has fallen upon the girls. Which is why they are prized more,

since they are seen a future income source.......

Agree for some, but many do not send money back, that includes my partner

[mrtoad]

Haven't you read Emile Zola's Germinal, published 1885?

Or any of Victor Hugo's books?

I remember 1950, my home town.

In many factory workers families kids aged 14 would do factory work and complement families income with their salary.

Much of Thailand still stuck in that age of poverty.

It would seem Whereustay's education stops at the sign for Nana Plaza, which would explain the errors and gross over-simplifications in the views expressed in the OP.

Agreed that the OPs education regarding Thailand is limited to a very small scene of red light districts, and internet dating sites.

Most of his posts though are also an excuse to berate Thailand and Thai people IMO.

[AlexRRR]

Whereustay, far to judgmental and a clear lack of understanding of the average Thai family.

[srchino]

You mean you haven't found a way to stamp out your bargirl gf's remaining sense of loyalty and responsibility to her parents yet, so that you can fully control her with your measly financial leverage? The nerve of that girl and her family. Her parents must be really poor and uneducated to miss recognizing the opportunity that is having you as their daughter's top priority. smdh

[gigman]

 

Why is this type of posting by the OP allowed to continue?

Why not? It a really interesting aspect of Thai culture and value systems. It implies no criticism..it asks ...what is going on here? The whole issue of respect and obeisance and devotion and love and duty in Thai culture is so different from that in the west it deserves airing..no?

 

I am getting older and I am alone ....
In couple of years I will get my poor pension to survive rest of my life (if there will be still funds for pension in this country...)
But being alone and no "my owned roof above my head" I must look for other country to live( where $ have a value) because my pension for single person equal to hang myself one day...(as a couple we could somehow manage to live poor life)

I wish that my country could have same family and culture value that Thailand people have.
I wish that my kids could take care about me when I was giving them my care and love for whole their life before.

If someone call love and taking to much care about parents as "brain washed" must be brain washed by his original culture.

If someone does not like Thai culture hence better to stick to places where they are in opposite to this culture .

I personally prefer this kind of "brain washing" being here then real "brain washing" in western countries.

I also prefer to be become human again instead of living in "computer state"

Edited June 21, 2014 by gigman