Girlfriend wants me to buy her a house

[soalbundy]

It should be law, never give a sucker an even break

[kinmaew]

Thai custom involves purchasing houses for people in their name whom you have just met?

Why dont you tell her under your custom this is not the norm and its better to rent for a few years so you can sus things out mate dont be a sucker.

Just say you have government bonds locked away for 5 years and cannot touch them under the law in your country.

[MoTheo]

I hear what you all say and the logical decision would be to say no. But is it that bad a thing to listen to your heart and do what you think you should do and that you know will make her happy?

Am I taking a HUGE risk in doing so?

What risks have you taken and have they paid off?

Yes, you are about to take a big risk.

Don't for a monent think that all the story's you read about us farangs ending up getting burned and getting broke are freaking real. You would never think your sweet heart would do such a thing to you, but in fact..when the shit hit's the fan, you never know where you end up.

Ofcouce Thai girls are not all the same, but just think about how bad it sometimes can go in a western country when you finish a relationship. In most western country's you have some legal right, in Thailand, being a farang, your legal right are almost degraded to 0.

However, if your loaded with money and see no problem in losing the 1 mill bath, go for it, maybe she is really that different but i wouldn't count on it.

If she settle with a 1 mill bath house, she most defentlive comes from a poorer family, maybe she's fair to you if you end the relationship, but you can count 100% her family does not give a rat's ass about it.

Best of luck...

Zero legal rights for farangs as you mentioned is wrong, I know several cases where the farangs went to a lawyer and got positive legal results in respect off financial matters.

I said almost..How much you time and money you anyway want to use if you already lost 1 mill.

And yes if you marry the legal way, you might have a small chance, yet still you cant own the land, you own the 49% of the house..If the relationship already gone down the drain, do you want to live in the 49%?.

If you have to do it, take a loan and pay back for 25 years like someone metioned...She will probaly say no to this, and if so...Well i think even the dumbest person know that this relationship need to end.

[ableguy]

Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date.

troll, you are a joke.

[thongsuknork]

WELCOME To FARANG LAND nice

[mrfaroukh]

Have you taught even for a minute if she is love of your life why is she in such a hurry that you should buy her a house??? If you are stupid enough do it, but please do not come with another treads here that love of my life cheated me.

[ALFREDO]

I hear what you all say and the logical decision would be to say no. But is it that bad a thing to listen to your heart and do what you think you should do and that you know will make her happy?

Am I taking a HUGE risk in doing so?

What risks have you taken and have they paid off?

My GF, pregnant from me, asked, if I would like, that my offspring grows up in the shabby house she was living in, overcrowded to!

She had purchased a very old house in the village on small land, from my allowance saved beforehand

and I paid at least 50 % from the 650.000 Baht house, she let built there,

after the old house was torn down, 10 year ago, still together.

I helped a bit that her sister got a good BF from EU,

to good, he bought her a 1 Million Baht house in short time,

(the land belonged to family)

but married also, got a child and live in EU.

In the house the Mama and my GFs sister 2 now grown up sons from a Thai man.

The 3rd, oldest sister EU husband, helped to repair the original family home.

So, not so crowded now with 3, instead of one living place.

3 sisters, All 3 got one farang each that built them a house:) And now the relatives also live there Good luck

Thank you, that situation is since 12,5 years more or less in that way.

But, I wrote -repair- the old original house, not build it new.

In there sleeps also beforehand, the old, 80+ father of family, brother of the sisters, his wife and their 2 children.

Meanwhile, the husband from the oldest sister, wants a divorce, she is 1-2 years older than him

and lost some sexy appearance over the last decade and gained some weight in EU.

That are the main reasons.

She is back home in Isaan since April, he just sent her home from a holiday in Patong

and flew back to EU alone, he stopped all contact, want to send lawyers divorce papers.

She is devastated about that rapid development.

Not always is the woman to blame for a negative outcome.

She is now allowed to live in the sisters house, with the mama,

the boys of her sister are not living there permanently in the moment,

one is in Bangkok working, one in army service.

She has no income, her husband never wanted she worked in Europe, is 40+ and has NO house, nothing gained from the 8 years marriage. Only years lost.

Her husband sends no aliment-allowance in the separation year before divorce, as his home countries law would suggest-presuppose.

Edited June 29, 2014 by ALFREDO

[y2k]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

If the family expect it, just live in sin.

It's what the majority of Thai men do.

Please note, Thai tradition is that a Thai lady marries a Thai man.

Once she agrees to marry a foreign man tradition is broken.

Edited June 30, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[y2k]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

If the family expect it, just live in sin.

It's what the majority of Thai men do.

Please note, Thai tradition is that a Thai lady marries a Thai man.

Once she agrees to marry a foreign man tradition is broken.

Sorry too much sin in there for my brain.

Are you saying to avoid marriage and thereby avoid paying the sin sod?

[Pattaya Lous]

Do not pay cash for the house. Insist on a mortgage. If she does not qualify apparently you can own the mortgage but not the property. You can even give her cash each month to make the payments. If you have trouble in the future do not make the payments and she would be forced to sell the house to pay for the mortgage. It is insurance that she does not steal your property.

I know of an Australian fellow who bought 2 properties for his wife and she gave them to her 2 daughters. She wanted him to buy another property. She would no doubt give it to her son.

What is the liability on me as the owner of the mortgage? Surely it is my legal responsibility and failing to make payments would put me in bad credit.

Why don't you just tell everybody where you met her. Is she an ex whore or what. You've been asked umpteen times but never answer. Good grief it's 12 pages now and you've said sod all. You're being conned mate , you know it and so does everybody else.

Can we see a picture of her?

If she is the love of your life as you say you should be proud to show how well you have done and not care what anybody else thinks.

Maybe some of us longer term residents will have met her before we like to stay in touch with our escapades.

Think about this friendly advice: If at any time she has worked as a whore or bar girl she has probably done this before. Are you prepared for the time when you are out with her anywhere in Thailand BKK, Pat's or your home country and you meet an old customer of hers - how well will you handle it mate.

[khunPer]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

There are lot of treads and different opinions about sin sot.

Basically it is a negotiation between the parties; and as a hand rule the younger and more beautiful the bride is, the higher the sin sot, but there is no general rules and nothing like sin sot is only paid “first time”; however many (or most) Thai men don’t want a “second hand” wife. It is also a question of status and “make face”; hi-so families pays higher sin sot, and a foreigner (farang) will normally be expected to pay more than a plain Thai (in village terms), as the foreigner is considered more wealthy and therefore having higher status; brides family may “loose face” in local society if no sin sot is paid from a foreigner. Some families agrees a high sin sot for “show” – the cash money has to be showed and counted at the wedding party – and some or all money are returned to the new married couple or the groom after the wedding party. Women seems to prefer to marry up in status…

Look at sin sot as compensation to the family for raising the girl that the groom now takes away, in Thai considered as “milk money”; it’s also considered to show that the future husband can show he is able to provide and take good care of his new wife…

For Westerners the sin sot tradition seems little odd, as a Westerner feel he is “buying the lady” – some may feel it like a kind of prostitution – we Westerners are namely traditionally used to that the lady is “buying the man”, when her father pays everything (party etc.) and normally also gives a dowry – so same, same; but different…

It’s a question of balance so both parts are happy – and sometimes a question of not being “ripped off”; the latter can also happen for Thai men (I know some)…

[y2k]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

There are lot of treads and different opinions about sin sot.

Basically it is a negotiation between the parties; and as a hand rule the younger and more beautiful the bride is, the higher the sin sot, but there is no general rules and nothing like sin sot is only paid “first time”; however many (or most) Thai men don’t want a “second hand” wife. It is also a question of status and “make face”; hi-so families pays higher sin sot, and a foreigner (farang) will normally be expected to pay more than a plain Thai (in village terms), as the foreigner is considered more wealthy and therefore having higher status; brides family may “loose face” in local society if no sin sot is paid from a foreigner. Some families agrees a high sin sot for “show” – the cash money has to be showed and counted at the wedding party – and some or all money are returned to the new married couple or the groom after the wedding party. Women seems to prefer to marry up in status…

Look at sin sot as compensation to the family for raising the girl that the groom now takes away, in Thai considered as “milk money”; it’s also considered to show that the future husband can show he is able to provide and take good care of his new wife…

For Westerners the sin sot tradition seems little odd, as a Westerner feel he is “buying the lady” – some may feel it like a kind of prostitution – we Westerners are namely traditionally used to that the lady is “buying the man”, when her father pays everything (party etc.) and normally also gives a dowry – so same, same; but different…

It’s a question of balance so both parts are happy – and sometimes a question of not being “ripped off”; the latter can also happen for Thai men (I know some)…

Thank you for your well phrased interpretation.

[epicstuff]

The idea is to never let her get enough equity in the house to make it worthwhile her dumping you and selling it.

A 10 year home loan, she can dump you after 5 years and make money.

Geddit?

Yeah, it's totally not a red flag to be in a relationship where you have to do this sort of thing ^

If someone on the same species sais its a red flag then it must be a f***ing enormous one lol . where do I find a girl like you....

[epicstuff]

Having read some of the posts on this thread it souds like all Thai women would be really bad and only out there to scam farangs...Either I have been fortunate not to encounter that or there are many other ladies in this country as well. My advice would be to look at that girl's background, family, education, job and income. If all that is decent, and you are getting along ok with her family, her mother/ father can accept that their daughter is marrying a foreigner, then I don't think you need to worry. It has worked out for me and I've been together now for 5 years with my wife.

if her family is poor and she doesn't have much of an income, I'd be careful as money might be a big motivation factor for everything.

none of that makes any difference , so many asking where you met her what her back ground bla bla bla. It doesnt matter

2 things

1. its a one sided commitment. any contract requiring a token of commitment whether its business or love need a fair 2 sided offer, otherwise it means nothing if any one party has a financial commitment and the other doesn't then that person will be manipulated as the other has nothing to loose, she can hold it over you whenever she wants . So either she is a screaming bitch who will rip you off or she is a control freak. There is no positive outcome for someone with a personality that thinks it is ok to ask for such a one-sided commitment in any situation....

[canarysun]

My advice would be to NOT buy her a house! Also do NOT give her any money every month.Rent a small house somewhere,tell her you are in " a serious financial mess " If she is still with you after 12 months then " Bingo " she likes you! then you can discuss " the romantic things " (money) after the 12 month test course........ x

[puuchaibaa]

The land value there for a 1.5M baht property would be roughly a third (500k) so if I own half the house then worse situation is I lose 500k (my share of the house). An unusual way to look at things I must admit.

You've gotten a lot of advice to the contrary yet you are still determined to proceed. I can only guess that your girl is identical to the one in EyesWideOpen's avatar, in which case I completely understand your situation. Anyway, I presume you're mature enough to understand and accept that the girl's underlying motivation may or may not be monetary and that it doesn't matter to you.

You may want to rethink your potential loss on the house, however. She might even give you 100% of the value of the house, but she might also claim the land was sold for 1.5m and the house for 100bt, or something like that.

[Albertosez]

Is it Wednesday yet ?

[ALFREDO]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

Not only for virgin brides! Not only for first Buddha style wedding. I know from Thai mother of the bride who got sin sot from 3 grooms of the daughter, even with a child beforehand from first marriage!

The spectrum is widespread with possibilities.

[ALFREDO]

Are you prepared for the time when you are out with her anywhere in Thailand BKK, Pat's or your home country and you - meet an old customer of hers, how well will you handle it mate.

"meet an old customer of hers - in your home country"

I believe, you followed, looked to many silly Thai TV soap operas.

By the way, how behave "old costumers"? in your opinion?

As you write "some of =us= longer term residents" you see people behave like that? You behave like that?

= jump to the lady from last year and make a scene with the "new man" on her hand?

Edited June 30, 2014 by ALFREDO

[tifino]

hey, has anybody ever heard of an ex... ever getting returned 'her' Sin Sot back from her folks??

My missus never did, yet they are forever still trying to drain her out.

She won't even visit or phone them now...

[F4UCorsair]

Not only is the OP a troll, he's a drone!!!

Come on guys, don't give him the time of day.

[perdido]

I would have thought by now with the internet being so mainstream and Thai ladies reputation proceeding them that posts like this would start to dry up. Seems not.

Be kind I'm new here.

...would have thought you'd have known difference between 'proceeding' and 'preceding'.....

[F4UCorsair]

I am having difficulty believing that anybody is still responding to his dumb questions. They are so dumb that they reveal him as a troll, unequivocally.

I don't understand trolls. What satisfaction do they get from posting garbage and having others go out of their ways offering advice in good faith?? All they do is screw people around and evaporate good will for those who really are genuine in their quest for advice.

Y2k you are a card carrying fool !!!

[Pattaya Lous]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

sorry mate best advice - go home before you are sent home with your tail between your legs because that is what she will do to you, you have no idea

[thehelmsman]

Don't have time for all this rubbish. If 1 mil. baht is a deal breaker then don't do it. For many of us that is but a few months wages. I initiated the purchase of land, I had dreams of family and childen, I went for it.

All paid with cash. If you're not sure then run, if not man up and go for it.

[Rocking Robert]

Sometimes 1M is not that much. Had a girlfriend that would drop that in one nite in Atlantic City

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[F4UCorsair]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

sorry mate best advice - go home before you are sent home with your tail between your legs because that is what she will do to you, you have no idea

Right on the money Pattaya Lous. He wouldn't know if his ar$e was punched, bored, or drilled!!

He can't even troll.

[y2k]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

sorry mate best advice - go home before you are sent home with your tail between your legs because that is what she will do to you, you have no idea

Right on the money Pattaya Lous. He wouldn't know if his ar$e was punched, bored, or drilled!!

He can't even troll.

Yes you're a much better troll than me considering you've made more posts than I have on this thread.

Edited July 1, 2014 by y2k

[F4UCorsair]

Regarding Thai tradition and the sin sod is this ONLY for virgin brides or is that mostly ignored? If it is ignored then is it also only for women on their first wedding? Just trying to plan.

sorry mate best advice - go home before you are sent home with your tail between your legs because that is what she will do to you, you have no idea

Right on the money Pattaya Lous. He wouldn't know if his ar$e was punched, bored, or drilled!!

He can't even troll.

Yes you're a much better troll than me considering you've made more posts than I have on this thread.

But they haven't been dumb questions that have been asked a thousand times previously.

For your information, a troll is loosely described as someone who posts with the intention of provoking readers. You couldn't possibly be so stupid to ask some of the questions you have, so those questions are obviously posted to provoke, and it's obvious to me that you are a troll.

If your questions are serious, buy the damned house against all the advice you've received here from decent people trying to help, get taken to the cleaners, and crawl back home, but don't continue down this path of coming back with justification on why you should continue on a more than dumb path.