A retired US judge is himself before the beak in Bristow, Oklahoma, "on charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others", AP reports.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/06/29/pneumatic_judge/

I wonder if they typed up the "untraceable" sh-sh sounds on the court records.....

"And then I strangled the guy, -"

"Sh-SH"

"his face was going purple as- "

"Sh-Sh- AAAhhhhhH!!!!"

"And he died right there in my arms....

Reminds me of a judge caught in a massage parlour raid in Montreal , Canada. He argued he was visiting the massage parlour for his "bad back" until prosecution came up with pictures clearly showing that only the lower FRONT part of his body was glistening with oil.

That explains why he was always handing down stiff sentences.

He sounds like a hard man.

Justice is blonde, er, I mean blind.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Here comes da judge!

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't

prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting

attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the

stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She

responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since

you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.

You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about

them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the

brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit

paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the

room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again

replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,

too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a

normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst

in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three

different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to

approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you

idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

I hear the judge always got "pumped up" over a good case !

And the poor court recorder, who had to put up with sneaking glimpses of this through a narrow gap, for over 3 years before finally reporting it.

Don't be so hard on the poor old judge, he has been under a lot of pressure...

Apparently some very hard pressure, what with all that blood rushing to his little head.