Popular Post mrtoad Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan. Is that a reason for not paying it? 20K sounds very reasonable if she's supporting a kid and no doubt some of her extended family. Why should the OP be responsible for supporting the lazy extended family. Would you do it in your own country? Then there's the gambling debts etc, this is looking like a train wreck. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mesquite Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 "How much do you give to your Thai girlfriend/wife? What % of your income?" Last one: 12% Next one: 0% 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
culicine Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 About -20%....she supports me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Why should the OP be responsible for supporting the lazy extended family. Would you do it in your own country?Then there's the gambling debts etc, this is looking like a train wreck. Supporting lazy families is a mainstay of situation comedies in the West and has been for 40 years. Where you been? Ozzy Osborne and Anna Nicole Smith, Archie Bunker ...... and on and on and on.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Here we go... How many of you people would like to live on 10 or 15 thousand baht a month...with a child??? Thai people do it, with support from their families. The amount you give depends on whether the mom lives alone with the child or if she lives with several family members (that should be working). My son (similar situation in the Philippines) gets 12000 baht a month. It is enough...he lives with an extended family and two others pitch in money. He goes to a private school and the house he lives in is rent free. Transportation, food, school tuition/supplies, clothing upkeep, and some medical add up to exactly 12000 baht. (16000 pesos). I am fortunate he is now 16....and can work in two more years. (US Citizen). In Thailand no need for private school or medical. Those are luxury items for the rich. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Around three years ago I was bemoaning the low interest rates on offer and tried to explain how that was causing my investments to effectively loose money. The end product from those throw away comments was that Mrs CM started to pay for her own food and expenses although I didn't realize she was doing that straight away. When I eventually cottoned on, I asked her what she was doing and her reply was that she didn't want to be the cause of me loosing or not saving money! If you have any more loose money, give it to me! 555 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post isawasnake Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) Put your foot down, fast. It may already be too late to be honest. First, she/they will always want more. It doesn't matter, it will never be enough, and there will always come a time and reason they need more. This is why the first amounts you give them are so crucial. Here is my advice, half make some crap up "I'm getting up there in years and want some stability blah blah" and try to buy something like a condo in your name. I think making payments is best. This way all your money will be going to these huge payments, and you can convey this, and it still looks like you are doing it all for the family. They will talk <deleted>, but they really can't.... just say "I'm biying a condo for my kids to have and for us to live in". It is hard even for a Thai to argue against that. Of course it does not have to be a condo, but you get the point. But it should be something that can increase or hold its value, not a car for sure. And be sure they will talk you out of it but just say you have thought a lot already and you need this or have always wanted this for your future. I know you said you are moving soon but you can work it in there, wanting to own property when you come here is not out of this world or anything. This is how I feel you should be thinking; how to strategically tie up the money in a way that is actually good for both of you. The Thai stock market would be another great option, but that is hard to have fixed monthly payments. Lastly, I can tell you from experience 3000 baht a month is plenty for one person in the country if they have their own property. They get together and the people out there are really horrible. It sounds bad but they really are or I would not say it. They pressure the moms and daughters to extort more and make them feel terrible if they don't, and they always draw these ANNOYING comparisons. I would seriously make a rule: no comparisons. It is so bad it is always about "but the farang down the street gets X per month" oh god that makes my blood boil. When they start making those comparisons just play their game of they wont stop: I know a guy who did not pay a dime for a dowry; I know a guy who give his mom 1500 baht a month and she loves him and they are all happy". It is the same shit but just reversed. Edited August 4, 2014 by isawasnake 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan. Considering the average daily wage would be not much over 300 baht a day, 20k is too much. But hey, it's not my money, and if the op is ok to pay that, his choice. 8 to 10k a month max. Little extra for pampers and other baby stuff. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post brewsterbudgen Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan. Considering the average daily wage would be not much over 300 baht a day, 20k is too much. But hey, it's not my money, and if the op is ok to pay that, his choice. 8 to 10k a month max. Little extra for pampers and other baby stuff. If it was my girlfriend I would want her to have significantly more than the average daily wage! Some guys have very strange attitudes towards the ones they love! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bowerboy Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I am married and we have 1 child and 1 more on the way (both mine). My wife's salary before we met was 30,000THB per month. She has stopped work to take care of our Son and I pay her 30,000THB per month. We live together and of course I pay the rent and all bills but she pays for all the food and everything for our son including nappies etc. I have often compared this to the UK and ask if my brother or brother in law would replace their spouses salary if they stopped working and the answer of course is no way. However I cant imagine how my wife could do it for less than 30,000THB in a way that I would be happy with. Her Mother also lives with us (its good and bad but that's another story) and I give her 10,000THB per month as that is essentially what I would pay a live in Nanny anyway. They never ask for anything more and it seems like a happy arrangement. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post khunpa Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 I am wondering how your girlfriend and her mother manage to survive before you met her? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Not a %. Work out how much she NEEDS and give her that. Stand firm. Don't have a joint bank account. Would you have married a woman back in farangland that expected you to support her entirely on your own? <she stays in Isaan now with her mum> Thai culture- her mother looks after the child and she goes to work. Time to give her the low down. You pay the basic for her and child ( not the family ) to survive and if she wants more she goes to work to earn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiang mai Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Around three years ago I was bemoaning the low interest rates on offer and tried to explain how that was causing my investments to effectively loose money. The end product from those throw away comments was that Mrs CM started to pay for her own food and expenses although I didn't realize she was doing that straight away. When I eventually cottoned on, I asked her what she was doing and her reply was that she didn't want to be the cause of me loosing or not saving money! If you have any more loose money, give it to me! 555 Cheque is in the mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) I am married and we have 1 child and 1 more on the way (both mine). My wife's salary before we met was 30,000THB per month. She has stopped work to take care of our Son and I pay her 30,000THB per month. We live together and of course I pay the rent and all bills but she pays for all the food and everything for our son including nappies etc. I have often compared this to the UK and ask if my brother or brother in law would replace their spouses salary if they stopped working and the answer of course is no way. However I cant imagine how my wife could do it for less than 30,000THB in a way that I would be happy with. Her Mother also lives with us (its good and bad but that's another story) and I give her 10,000THB per month as that is essentially what I would pay a live in Nanny anyway. They never ask for anything more and it seems like a happy arrangement. So your wife looks after the baby AND you pay the MIL to do the same . By all means pay the MIL to look after the child, but your wife should be working- that's Thai culture. Edited August 4, 2014 by thaibeachlovers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post pgrahmm Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 I give my a household budget on a monthly basis....I know how much it costs to run the household from doing myself....she's actually much better at it than me.....she is free to send whatever she wants to her family as long as it does not curtail our normal lifestyle....she makes sure I have all of my favorite things and she sends money to Mamma & Papa every month (she/we have 2 daughters there - hers) - the M&P have their own farm and are hard working, honest folks..... My wife sends 5000B a month and they are happy...it covers the upkeep costs I'm sure on top of whatever M&P make while farming (they are modest people but seem to do well) - when we visit of course there are things we bring for everybody + my wife will make a grocery Makro stop before - this also comes out of the household budget.......school clothes & regular clothes we get when the girls visit on holidays or if we are making a visit down there. I noticed before they badly needed a fridge as the little one they had for 5 people was too small and the door had gaps from 2/3 up to the top. We took Mama to the store unknowing she was getting a new fridge - overwhelmed would be the easy version - she just sat in front of it and stared at it dumbfounded....we did the choosing size and rating wise as she had absolutely no clue......got it home and Papa seemed blaze~ about it but kept looking at it - but he did put bowls in the freezer to test to see if it would freeze the water......when we do something like this it is never mentioned afterwards...they work hard and I do not want to one up anybody - it's just nice to help modernize things a little for them...... that being said - I am here and able to self audit/watch things in real time.....I think you are getting take for a ride and the horse is going to be galloping soon with full saddle bags of your $$$$$$$$....if the saddle bags get too full - don't worry they'll hit you up for another horse......or truck.....or buffalo...... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MobileContent Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more. Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get. One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000. Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village. I fear she may be turning into that monster! Run as fast as you can. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more. Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get. One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000. Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village. I fear she may be turning into that monster! Run as fast as you can. And leave his kid there without blinking an eye too according to you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 To the OP, good luck, you are going to need it... As I read the OP, what caused the red warning lights to go off for me was when the wife made the comment that 'bad girls' are making big money... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AnotherOneAmerican Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) To the OP, good luck, you are going to need it... As I read the OP, what caused the red warning lights to go off for me was when the wife made the comment that 'bad girls' are making big money... Bad girls are more fun, prepared to do a lot more in bed, and therefore can claim a deservedly higher wage. When your misses asks for more because Miss XX gets more, possible answers are, I would pay her more too Her skin is sooooo white She is a lot younger than you You've put on a lot of weight since the baby Can you get your younger sister to join us in a threesome etc. Edited August 4, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MobileContent Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more. Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get. One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000. Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village. I fear she may be turning into that monster! Run as fast as you can. And leave his kid there without blinking an eye too according to you ? So what do you suggest? Marry her so he can have joint custody and half of his assets including future earnings will be gone to the OP's GF. If I am the OP I would run and would possible talk to a lawyer to start negotiating some kind of monthly contribution, possible 50% paid-out monthly and the other 50% in a trust to be saved away for the child. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil2 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I think from more info from the OP that he might need to consider putting his foot down hard. The fact she's getting shitty when he won't give her 20k says a lot to me. The family are probably pushing for more money, as they are lazy shites and see this as an opportunity yo exploit the OPs naivety. I'd be looking at a suitable exit plan if had to put up with that sort if <deleted>, to be honest. Could be the family, but it could also be her wanting to show off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 To the OP, good luck, you are going to need it... As I read the OP, what caused the red warning lights to go off for me was when the wife made the comment that 'bad girls' are making big money... Bad girls are more fun, prepared to do a lot more in bed, and therefore can claim a deservedly higher wage. When your misses asks for more because Miss XX gets more, possible answers are, I would pay her more too Her skin is sooooo white She is a lot younger than you You've put on a lot of weight since the baby Can you get your younger sister to join us in a threesome etc. I agree with you completely, but neither of us have a child with the woman making this statement... That's what made me sit up and go <deleted>... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A1Str8 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I give her 20.000 if she gives me 30.000. That's our agreement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post David48 Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 Here we go... How many of you people would like to live on 10 or 15 thousand baht a month...with a child??? Thai people do it, with support from their families. The amount you give depends on whether the mom lives alone with the child or if she lives with several family members My Thai partner, and we've just had Twins lives on 1/2 that. No rent to pay and meals provided. Essentials are catered for. More money doesn't = Happiness 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan. Considering the average daily wage would be not much over 300 baht a day, 20k is too much. But hey, it's not my money, and if the op is ok to pay that, his choice. 8 to 10k a month max. Little extra for pampers and other baby stuff. Kris ... you're a richer man then I am ... but it's BallPark for MissFarmGirl and me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 To the OP, good luck, you are going to need it... As I read the OP, what caused the red warning lights to go off for me was when the wife made the comment that 'bad girls' are making big money... Bad girls are more fun, prepared to do a lot more in bed, and therefore can claim a deservedly higher wage. When your misses asks for more because Miss XX gets more, possible answers are, I would pay her more too Her skin is sooooo white She is a lot younger than you You've put on a lot of weight since the baby Can you get your younger sister to join us in a threesome etc. AoA ... you are a bad boy. But I liked that thought bubble. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Gotta admit, I love these "click baiter" posts. Look at me I am so dumb I answered it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lust Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Holy... some of you guys are getting hustled hard. But if you are happy then great. I don't have a Thai gf but if I did, I would be offering free accomodation + meals paid for. She can get a normal job to support her own entertainment! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Holy... some of you guys are getting hustled hard. But if you are happy then great. I don't have a Thai gf but if I did, I would be offering free accomodation + meals paid for. She can get a normal job to support her own entertainment! "I don't have a Thai gf but if I did" ... Sort of asking the Pope about Marriage advice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lust Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 That's a terrible analogy. I don't have a Thai gf now. I have in the past but we never moved in together because she had her own condo & job. Now I date a Filippino and she has a condo and job as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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