How much do you give to your Thai girlfriend/wife? What % of your income?

[glegolo]

My piece of the puzzle for what it is worth. I like to comment only because I find some answers most likely to be called ignorant...And they are being posted mostly by people that havent left off their arsle from the barstol in Pattaya or Bangkok yet, EVER....

In my little world here in isaan, I have tyhe following money monthly that we spend in my family.....in round figures 18.000 baht food + drinks sometimes during the month.

To mention 5.000 baht is not even close, it is just shit-talk without any reason or thought behind it. I do not know what kind of a lady your girlfriend is, but I can tell you something that I have found out personally here in Thailand when it comes to these ladies from isaan......

Yes, they are trying to squeeze money from falang.... But on the other hand falang is doing his utmost to squeeze out whatever he can get for free from the girls... promisies and lies.... But I guess that is OK from our standpiont or??

These girls are used to be abused big time by us falang, but that is only fair according to the lot living in these tourist-ghettos....So after a while when all the lies and the abuse and the rapes has taken it tolls of the girls, of course they are looking to squeeze money from falang where-ever she can get´s it....

But she is constantly on the lookout for a falang that really can take care of her and take her away from the shitwhole of Pattaya and Bangkok or Phuket.... And when she have found this falang.... For me and my friends up here that I have seen. I have never experienced so much faithfullness from the girls.. They are into it 110%.

BUT , and now comes the BUT.....The falang most COMMIT to something, not only walk around and not commit to anything at all... if falang shows he is serious and that is to marry the girl and economicly take care of the girl,THAN we are talking about NOT healing the buffalo or ever go to the doctor..... Than family money is family money and nobody elses money...

To call the mother of your child, the lady you have been together with for 5 years, just "girlfriend" THAT IS NOT TO COMMIT to anything.....Continue that journey and you will most probably be screwed.

Good luck, and DO something for God sake..

Glegolo

[Kitbaikitmah]

Been there, ridden like the buffalo I was.

Finally woke-up and cut loose.

Next gf started the same gambit...cut loose very fast

Now ....much the wiser.

[Cuddlycat]

First of all, I am Thai.

If I may allow to say anything, I would say do whatever you feel like. There is no standard for a support you should provide for your wife and kid. Do whatever you feel that your capable for.

[atyclb]

Me; Zero, 0%, nothing, nada, but if i ask her to drop me or pick me up at the airport i usually cover petrol as a courtesy.

[Mudcrab]

after reading some of these posts one really wonders if these are wives people have or employee's ?

Totally agree old mate. Sometimes it comes across like they are more like the benevolent owner of a slightly above average intelligence pet.

[apb1919]

Reading some of these replies makes me wonder why some people bothered to get married!

I would love to see you in the uk / us / az work away for a month or two and send your wife with kids £200-300 for the month even with the bills paid!

Surely you want your wife to be happy, have a nice time, make sure the kids are looked after, eat well have new things etc?

i live in Thailand for about 9 months of the year, we (Mrs, and x2 kids) will be back in the uk for a few months but when i leave for a month or so i am not worried how much money i put in the joint bank account or how much the Mrs is spending on the credit card i worry that they are happy, having a nice time and are cared for!

Typically when i go away i would put:

18,000 bht - Mortgage on the house

7,500 bht - loan on the car

4,500 bht - phone internet water electric

then

50,000 bht for spending on whatever for the month

i never check this and where its gone and ask for receipts etc, some months i come back and its all gone and she's used 30-40k bht on the credit card other months i come back and 10,000 bht has gone, the main thing is my family is cared for and looked after.

My wife would be the last person to start sending money to her family unless they really needed it and if they did then so what! Yes she loves shopping and buying new clothes and toys for the kids but who doesn't.

if you don't trust your wife then really what is the point!

When we go back to the UK we have joint accounts which my salary goes into and she has full access, like any couple we would discuss any big expenditure but other than that she is her own person.

I still pay for everything back in the uk also:

50,000 bht mortgage

25,000 bht car

20,000 bht bills

and always have paid for everything over both countries but its for my family why would i ever be bitter or have any issues over money, it seams to me this is why most relationships fall down, money comes and goes!

When we go back to the uk i will keep paying for the house and car in Thailand but her family won't be in the house / use the car / motorbikes etc they are for us, she understands this more than i do and wants everything nice and new for when we come back!

the only thing she has ever asked me for in terms of money for her family was to buy her dad a 25,000 bht medical policy as her works in bangkok, and it covers any and all medical problems, he doesn't get the money we buy the policy every year and my wife can know in medical terms he is looked after and has peace of mind.

By your calculation you earn over 125,000 baht per month after tax and NI which equates to approx £2,450 per month I do not think there are many on Thai visa who earn that type of monthly salary and I doubt the op is on that type of money , so your wife is extremely lucky in what you provide her.

My point was three fold;

Even if i had £2,550 a month i would still rather my wife and family be happy supported and well looked after, and i can go back to the uk and eat rice and nothing else i trust my wife in that she will be doing the best thing for all of us, and should that be the situation i know she would be the first to cut all luxuries out and insist i be happy when not here!

If you are in a good relationship then the money shouldn't matter, my wife fully understands if she goes and spends 50k bht on some clothes then thats 50k bht we don't have to put into a savings account for the children, or buy another house or to better the family life. Not to say she can't (and she has lol) do this but its when things are good.

The final point was just to answer the OP question, when he asked how much people 'give' to their thai wife to live.

The fact is that i would send over 100% of what i earn if it was needed, just because i work doesn't mean that money is mine its a joint enterprise and she is an integral part of my life so whilst she may not get a dividend at the end of every month she looks after everything including the two children and makes sure everything is good and in my eyes thats important.

[DonaldBattles]

Go down the the bus station and buy another one. You are getting ripped off.

[misterphil]

20000 baht in Issan! That's even too much for Bangkok buddy. Your supporting your girlfriend and child which is fair and right...but paying for child no 1 and the mother in law too!?. 10,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Issan...Is your wife paying rent?.if shes not and she wants 20k she's taking you for a ride!

Not paying any rent, last month she said she needed 4,000 extra to pay for 2 tutors for number 1 child, this month says she has to pay for taking number 1 to hospital as he has had some behavioral problems. Last month she had to pay for our child for hospital treatment.

This month she says she has got through 9,000 in 1 week! I asked how she said 1,600 on hospital for number 1 and then has to give 3,000 towards a notebook for number 1 (says her sister will put 10,000 towards this).

I think the last few months she has got greedy, I should also add I was last in LOS in April when I gave her a one off 50,000 she was suppose to get the floor tiled in her mums house where she stays. Says this would be good for my son to stop insects etc.., coming in in rainy season.

Instead she spent it on her mothers 'farm' says this was a one off investment and her mum will put the land in her name.

Your living up to your name arent you? "Daftboy"

[David48]

Reading some of these replies makes me wonder why some people bothered to get married!

I would love to see you in the uk / us / az work away for a month or two and send your wife with kids £200-300 for the month even with the bills paid!

Surely you want your wife to be happy, have a nice time, make sure the kids are looked after, eat well have new things etc?

i live in Thailand for about 9 months of the year, we (Mrs, and x2 kids) will be back in the uk for a few months but when i leave for a month or so i am not worried how much money i put in the joint bank account or how much the Mrs is spending on the credit card i worry that they are happy, having a nice time and are cared for!

Typically when i go away i would put:

18,000 bht - Mortgage on the house

7,500 bht - loan on the car

4,500 bht - phone internet water electric

then

50,000 bht for spending on whatever for the month

i never check this and where its gone and ask for receipts etc, some months i come back and its all gone and she's used 30-40k bht on the credit card other months i come back and 10,000 bht has gone, the main thing is my family is cared for and looked after.

My wife would be the last person to start sending money to her family unless they really needed it and if they did then so what! Yes she loves shopping and buying new clothes and toys for the kids but who doesn't.

if you don't trust your wife then really what is the point!

When we go back to the UK we have joint accounts which my salary goes into and she has full access, like any couple we would discuss any big expenditure but other than that she is her own person.

I still pay for everything back in the uk also:

50,000 bht mortgage

25,000 bht car

20,000 bht bills

and always have paid for everything over both countries but its for my family why would i ever be bitter or have any issues over money, it seams to me this is why most relationships fall down, money comes and goes!

When we go back to the uk i will keep paying for the house and car in Thailand but her family won't be in the house / use the car / motorbikes etc they are for us, she understands this more than i do and wants everything nice and new for when we come back!

the only thing she has ever asked me for in terms of money for her family was to buy her dad a 25,000 bht medical policy as her works in bangkok, and it covers any and all medical problems, he doesn't get the money we buy the policy every year and my wife can know in medical terms he is looked after and has peace of mind.

By your calculation you earn over 125,000 baht per month after tax and NI which equates to approx £2,450 per month I do not think there are many on Thai visa who earn that type of monthly salary and I doubt the op is on that type of money , so your wife is extremely lucky in what you provide her.

My point was three fold;

Even if i had £2,550 a month i would still rather my wife and family be happy supported and well looked after, and i can go back to the uk and eat rice and nothing else i trust my wife in that she will be doing the best thing for all of us, and should that be the situation i know she would be the first to cut all luxuries out and insist i be happy when not here!

If you are in a good relationship then the money shouldn't matter, my wife fully understands if she goes and spends 50k bht on some clothes then thats 50k bht we don't have to put into a savings account for the children, or buy another house or to better the family life. Not to say she can't (and she has lol) do this but its when things are good.

The final point was just to answer the OP question, when he asked how much people 'give' to their thai wife to live.

The fact is that i would send over 100% of what i earn if it was needed, just because i work doesn't mean that money is mine its a joint enterprise and she is an integral part of my life so whilst she may not get a dividend at the end of every month she looks after everything including the two children and makes sure everything is good and in my eyes thats important.

I'm liking this guy ... much respect ...

I thought it was a great read ... you have a very BIG HEART and must respected by all those around you.

I just wish I held such greatness as you behold.

[David48]

My piece of the puzzle for what it is worth. I like to comment only because I find some answers most likely to be called ignorant...And they are being posted mostly by people that havent left off their arsle from the barstol in Pattaya or Bangkok yet, EVER....

In my little world here in isaan, I have tyhe following money monthly that we spend in my family.....in round figures 18.000 baht food + drinks sometimes during the month.

To mention 5.000 baht is not even close, it is just shit-talk without any reason or thought behind it.

Glegolo

Dear Glegolo ... you been on the Forum for a fair while and you're a solid poster, but I'm really surprised by what you penned above.

Just because you can't imagine it ... doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Effectively, you have just called me a liar for the amount that I mentioned it costs to keep my partner with our new-born twins boys.

In Thailand, almost every situation is different.

As for getting my ass off a Bar Stool ...

[overherebc]

She gives me 10% of her salary when I need it.

[SNGLIFE]

DaftBoy:

The easy farang guide to understanding how money spends on the Thai economy:

Shift to the paradigm you know, and then make decisions.

1 baht = $.10

10 baht = $1.00

100 baht = $10.00

1,000 baht = $100.00

10,000 baht = $1,000.00

...and so on

Now, think of how money spends on YOUR economy:

A movie ticket = $8.00 = 80 baht is fair

A soda = $1.50 = 15 baht is fair

A decent 2 BR apartment in a lower end neighborhood rents for $900 = 9,000 baht is fair

...and so on

So, she is pressing you for 20,000 baht. Unless you expect her to live in a shack with YOUR child(ren) as many posters seem to suggest by the ridiculously low amounts the spout, then that much goes about as far as $2,000 would go in "your" world.

NOW you make your decision about how much is enough.

My 2 bits? My wife manages our household budget of 40,000 for the 4 of us living in a new home with no mortgage. We don't skimp nor do we splurge. We live very comfortably upcountry just outside of a city. The house budget is almost depleted at the end of each month.

I expect my wife to provide a lifestyle appropriate for my children. No way would I give her "just enough" to get by as so many posters suggest. No way would I put her in a position where she must borrow money to make ends meet each month. Your family + your money = your call.

Choke-dee

[SNGLIFE]

DaftBoy:

The easy farang guide to understanding how money spends on the Thai economy:

Shift to the paradigm you know, and then make decisions.

1 baht = $.10

10 baht = $1.00

100 baht = $10.00

1,000 baht = $100.00

10,000 baht = $1,000.00

...and so on

Now, think of how money spends on YOUR economy:

A movie ticket = $8.00 = 80 baht is fair

A soda = $1.50 = 15 baht is fair

A decent 2 BR apartment in a lower end neighborhood rents for $900 = 9,000 baht is fair

...and so on

So, she is pressing you for 20,000 baht. Unless you expect her to live in a shack with YOUR child(ren) as many posters seem to suggest by the ridiculously low amounts the spout, then that much goes about as far as $2,000 would go in "your" world.

NOW you make your decision about how much is enough.

My 2 bits? My wife manages our household budget of 40,000 for the 4 of us living in a new home with no mortgage. We don't skimp nor do we splurge. We live very comfortably upcountry just outside of a city. The house budget is almost depleted at the end of each month.

I expect my wife to provide a lifestyle appropriate for my children. No way would I give her "just enough" to get by as so many posters suggest. No way would I put her in a position where she must borrow money to make ends meet each month. Your family + your money = your call.

Choke-dee

[realenglish1]

She is taking you for a ride Who cares what others get in her village. 10,000 without rent is more than enough.

If there is rent tac it on. Otherwise you look like an ATM

[jacko45k]

I think 15,000 baht is a fair amount (although 20,000 baht is now what I have been giving)

I agree with you.

If she asks for more, tell her to sit down and write what all her money is spent on.... and see if you think she is being a spendthrift or not.

I didn't quite do that with mine but I did find out I was supporting a few more people that I was comfortable with (which ultimately proved to be a waste)... so I cut her money!

[Dublin]

Listen, firstly don't listen to all that one girl is getting this and the other that, its all a load of crap, Thai girls dont usually go around the village blabbing how much they make, even the fat one living with her Thai husband,

It's all Gossip don't get me wrong there are some guys throwing money around like fools but after a couple of months and the last Thai trip is out of the blood it soon stops. 20,000 per month for 12 months is better than 40,000 for 3 months ,,,

20,000 per month is easily enough for a woman and 2 kids to live on, and save some along the way,, tell her your saving for your future together with the kids and you cant be throwing money away, if that does not statisfy her then its time to reprogram i.e. make sure the next payment is late and don't reply to calls or SMS's for a week or so,, see how the attitude changes

Good luck

[thejcb]

Another ridiculous post

[larsjohnsson]

after reading some of these posts one really wonders if these are wives people have or employee's ?

Tell me, what's the difference, between giving your Thai partner X amount every month for housekeeping and expenses, or your wife/girlfriend in your home country the same thing? If I was the breadwinner in Australia and my wife was a stay at home hausefrau, wouldn't I be expected to support her and the household?

In Australia you work and then went home to your wife in the evening. These men live in another country and send money to a GF every month without seeing her. Maybe they see her a few times every year. Some people only once a year on their holiday Edited August 5, 2014 by larsjohnsson

[Franky Bear]

Another ridiculous post

I know what you mean.

The way i read a lot of the replies is they give their Mrs the bare minimum to get buy. My Mrs get more than enough to "get by" and then more than enough to enjoy herself, buy clothes and take the kids out to eat in nice places etc.

Ultimately it's no ones business what anyone gives, but when this question comes up online, to me, it shows the downside to the way some people live and work

[SNGLIFE]

I did not read apb1919's post until after I posted. Having read it since posting, I am in FULL agreement with his sentiments. Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP. Full stop!

My job is to provide. Her job is to care. I earn with the mindset that every nickle belongs to her and the kids. After we married 10 years ago, I merged and compromised "I" and "me" into "us" and "we". It's not "how much should I give her", rather it's "how much do we need". I then make sure I deliver at least that; and anything over goes towards the kids' futures (land, gold, investments, etc.). The only "me" thoughts in 10 years were maybe twice shopping for new clothes and buying gadgets only I would use. In all that time, my wife has been performing her job exceptionally well and our relationship continues to be strong and trusting. If you still have a girlfriend/boyfriend mindset ("mine" and "hers"), my friend, you two are doomed.

Pull up, Captain! Pull up!

[MonkeyLoo]

The more you give the more she will spend or give away.

More than 10k per month and you are starting to support extended family.

In my opinion once you start doing that its a slippery slope as the family put pressure on her for more and most of them dont care about your relationship.

My girls family think im cheap charlie, and that is fine with me.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[kingstonkid]

"One girl is getting 50,000"....don't believe a word of it!

It is possible there are a lot of dumb Farang, Then aain I am sure it props her up in the community to seem that rich.

OP

if it was me i would tell her 20 k is the max a month. Let's face it if you are taking her you then get the whole package. Let's face it if it was a girl in Farangland you would have to support her other son so you might as well consider beingont eh hook for both kids.

I would however if you can put away an extra 15K each month for emergencies.

Any big projects tellthem they hve to wait until youare on the ground and can supervise (make sure the money goes where it is supposed to.

[laolover88]

Oh Dear. Here we go again.

What kind of relationship can you have if she assumes you will 'pay for everything'!? OH, sure. a good Dad looks after his child....but in Issan. Perfectly possible for a girl to start and run a good business and make her own money! You are being led out into the Kwai psarlour!

[Irishrogue]

I am intrigued as to how old many of the folks are who have posted. I assume some are older that their respective wives or girlfriends? The children of these relationships are therefore the primary concern and if something should happen to the Father what would the future hold for his Thai children. I pay out considerably more than I see from previous posts but everything I have given to my Wife she has saved and or invested and happily shares the information with me. I am often pissed off at her constant requests for this, that or the other but have to believe that if something "God Forbid" should happen to me they are at least secure. I know of guys who have given millions of Baht to ladies from up North and primarily used to pay off gambling debts and it was invariably gambling which eventually ended the relationship.

Regarding the OP to each his own do what you feel is right and if you feel it is not right do not give. If you have a WP you can open a bank a/c for your child and insure his Mother cannot have access to it until he/she is of an age to make their own determination.

[Paulzed]

I don't pay anything.

[uptoyoumyfriend]

Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more.

Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get.

One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and

lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000.

Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village.

I fear she may be turning into that monster!

also,have you ever experienced thai people in that situation that do not lie about how much things are ,they get,they paid for something?

i think 20 000 is far more than 95 % of the pros generate at the end of the month ,after expenses.most will never send home more than 5000.

a friend of mine ,thai,teaches at cmu and brings home less than 15 000.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Regarding the OP to each his own do what you feel is right and if you feel it is not right do not give. If you have a WP you can open a bank a/c for your child and insure his Mother cannot have access to it until he/she is of an age to make their own determination.

Nope, she can get the cash from her child's bank account.

Seen it done.

[jimbeam1]

20000 baht in Issan! That's even too much for Bangkok buddy. Your supporting your girlfriend and child which is fair and right...but paying for child no 1 and the mother in law too!?. 10,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Issan...Is your wife paying rent?.if shes not and she wants 20k she's taking you for a ride!

There are a lot of unexpected costs you're not considering.

E.g. what if the buffalo gets sick?

what if the motorbike is stolen?

what if her brother needs bail money?

what if her grandmother gets sick?

All of these things may happen to OP's girlfriend/wife on a monthly basis.

+ Gambling depts?

jb1

[RickyJB]

"One girl is getting 50,000"....don't believe a word of it!

i had an ex in phuket tht told me the same, that her ex had paid her 40 thousand every month.....was of course a load of lies...anyone that gives that sort of money to a thai girl needs their head checked

[Kirbicus]

Have been happily married for almost a decade seriously no joke.

The first few years it was basically me controlling around 60 percent of my employment income and other income from my home country.

About five years ago she wanted and suggested to do what her older sister was doing with her Thai husband.

Her older sister controlled all and gave her husband a stip end per month for general living.

My wife is Chinese Thai and I really think this is where this thinking comes from.

I thought about it for a while and then agreed to do it.

I started receiving a monthly stip end for my general and daily living as was her sister's Thai husband.

At first it took me about a year to get use to but then realized I did not have to worry about anything.

All our financial needs direct in Thailand my wife deals with for our family business, business expenses etc, car bills etc etc. I support our daughters education via other financial means in my home country which my wife then pays the private high school every term. I also support the business from time to time if something has to be done as a new edition or what ever in the business.

I don't have to worry about a thing seriously

My wife usually allocates my contract yearly work to a joint saving account. Some times it will be used for emergency business expenses if something stops working suddenly in the family business.

She tells me how much our business is bringing in monthly and how much we are saving.

I would see her dealing with all the cash a pile for this a pile for that a pile for savings etc etc etc etc.

She is my top Chinese Thai family accountant A very different Chinese accountancy style compared to Western accounting methods.

That is why it took me a year to get use to it.

I talk with some farang on the odd occasion that I meet and get to know through yearly contract employment most think I am @@@##$$%^^&*!!!! Nuts.

But I have been happily married for almost a decade because of it.

Edited August 5, 2014 by Kirbicus