How much do you give to your Thai girlfriend/wife? What % of your income?

[1FinickyOne]

Well, just some general observations from living in a village for quite a while now - as you know, others will be in her ear regularly - so, it might not be a bad dispostion, as peer pressure, which weighs heavy here as she is probably being told she is stupid. I think with being out of town, it more resembles the relationships that bargirls have w/customers and that is the scope of the advice - which leans toward 'get as much as you can' - - I think these issues could disappear if/when you are living together. I hope for you - -

And ps - no Thai lady calculates or even considers what % of your income is being given - they see amount and measure it against what the neighbor is getting.

[Emster23]

If she is implying she should get paid like a bar girl it is my opinion she already has that mind set and is ready to go be a bar girl. If you are sending her this large sum, tell her to move away from her family (lots of luck on that one!). The family is clearly trying to milk you for all they can get, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She may even tearfully speak of pressure from family, but those tears are just part of the drama.

Best suggestion was setting up with lawyer monthly amount to support your kid. Your gf is gone, replaced by money grubber (or that quality is finally emerging). I know lots of us sound harsh about the situation but I reckon most of harsh advisers have seen and/or experienced more than enough to justify their comments. Cut your losses (end it with her) and live up to responsibility for kid is the best deal available.

[dotpoom]

Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more.

Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get.

One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and

lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000.

Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village.

I fear she may be turning into that monster!

Looks a bit that way I'm afraid...If my lady wanted more money on the basis of what "bad girls" get (happened yo me too before) I'd tell her to go and get herself a "bad boy" then.

[Irishrogue]

Irishrogue, on 05 Aug 2014 - 17:02, said:

Regarding the OP to each his own do what you feel is right and if you feel it is not right do not give. If you have a WP you can open a bank a/c for your child and insure his Mother cannot have access to it until he/she is of an age to make their own determination.

Nope, she can get the cash from her child's bank account.
Seen it done.

You are of course correct if the a/c is in the name of the child. As is said "F##K me once shame on you F##K me twice shame on me". I learned from my first relationship with a woman of ill repute that many things can be taken if you are not careful. She walked off with a lot of my funds everything in the house which was a lot all of the savings for my son who at the time was 3 and had over 300K in his a/c but I did not have a WP so the a/c had to be in her name according to the bank?? This was about 10 years ago. This time the a/c for my children is in my name with them as the sole beneficiaries upon the age of maturity. Incidentally in that first relationship I was "reliably" informed that she could not have a baby because of some problem with her Fallopian Tubes so slightly inebriated one night I gave into my carnal desires and so the story began. I appear not to have learned from that experience, maybe an Irish failing.

[maximillian]

"One girl is getting 50,000"....don't believe a word of it!

I do believe as I know of more than one lady who are getting even more by several farang.

One of them is married. The husband has been warned but he doesn't believe.

[canarysun]

" Amazing Thailand & Amazing Farang " .....

Firstly in a correct and honest loving relationship you don't give any money to a Thai Girlfiend! ( absolutely nothing ! ) she should be with you because she wants to be with you! Most of my friends living with there girlfriends in Thailand split all the bills 50 / 50 which is a great idea and also shows you that the lady wants to be with you for who you really are! " The moment you PAY a lady to live with you is the day your problems will start! There are many farang living in Thailand who pay a lady every month because they cannot find a girlfriend who actually wants to be with them and then it is not a relationship but only a " business arrangement " and the more money you give the more she will want!

Having a child with a lady is a different situation altogether.I would still get her to get a part time job somewhere and i think it would be more than generous to give her 5,000 baht a month towards the costs of looking after the child.Also the golden rule is to never show your " financial status " to your Thai Girlfriend.It's better to act as though you are going through a financial crisis and your finances are at a level of " Critical " ( a good test to see how much they really care about you...)

Being in a relationship is about " compromise " from both sides.( that includes financially )

farang jaidee

[Meatwadism]

I have first hand experience on these matters. Being a child of a Thai/Farang parents I can remember the days were my father got duped multiple times by my mother. This topic reminds me of my dads situation with my mum and he has changed very little since. Your child is your priority and as someone stated should be legalised or recorded in your own country. It sounds to me that your girlfriends family and friends are influencing her to get more money off you. First comes the allowance, Dowry, Land and a house for the family, money for friends and families so called 'business' and a divorce settlement if you get there, Its a vicious circle don't go there! It's ok to be selfish with you money but your children will always come first.

[EnglishJohn]

This forum is great : one minute people are getting called tight because they won't throw away 500,000 on an elite card for 5 years and the next they are being told that their girlfriend and child should consider themselves lucky to get minimum wage.

I say give her enough to live comfortably, but put the squeeze on her if she starts asking for more. Thai's tend to think farang's get money for free. The consensus seems to be about 15K/month.

[lcp0761]

Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more.

Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get.

One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and

lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000.

Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village.

I fear she may be turning into that monster!

I have had numerous Thai GF's and now married to a wonderful Thai girl for the past 5-years.

First is to be honest with yourself --- is she looking to make money off of a farang or is it "love"?

I give my wife for her family $20K baht per month which is more than enough (most monthly Thai salaries are between 10-15K a month).

From the start we don't have any money discussions as I have been clear she needs to "budget" the $20K for all their needs. I am not paying for a buffalo, a motorcycle, a new car,...or a house.

She gets the money every two (2) weeks and no discussion or debates.

My wife has told me her Aunt told her she should suck more money from me and she just laughs at them as they struggle with selling chickens and selling food on the road side in the hot Thai temps.

If you answer the question that she is looking to make money off a farang, then you need to dump her quickly and don't look back. No sob stories and understand there are a lot of beautiful Thai girls that would be happy with $20K per month. Don't worry about the sex or that you have a kid together, you first need to look out for yourself! Don't be weak and if she threatens with leaving you for another farang or Thai man, then you have your answer.

Be careful as if she feels her threats to leave you aren't working, she may try to bribe you by causing you personnel/work related problems.

Note - Issan woman are rumored to be money sucking leaches. Also, Thai's don't associate sex with love as most farang. Thai's have been taught that farang have money, regardless how hard you have to work for it.

Lastly --- if she thinks she can get more money by being a "bad girl", then show her the door and within 6-months she will come running back.

[apb1919]

Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more.

Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get.

One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and

lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000.

Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village.

I fear she may be turning into that monster!

Don't worry about the sex or that you have a kid together, you first need to look out for yourself! Don't be weak and if she threatens with leaving you for another farang or Thai man, then you have your answer.

Totally disagree if a child is involved it should have the best possible start in life, why should he or she suffer because the parents can't work it out?

if any couple (of any nationality) split up i am sure there are ways you can make sure the money you send gets spent on the child, be it in the form of you buy x y and z for the child and send it over or use a 3rd party etc

[cyborgx]

My wife get 100% of my income every month. She is boss of our finances and she administer perfectly. Seems that many have got the wrong wife. If you don't trust your wife, why did you marry?

Fatfather

Sex without a condom. I still don't trust her but the odds are better than a stranger working in a bar.

you dont trust your own wife? wow

I trusted the first three and almost ended up in the poor house. I'm not living in the South of France in a large villa sipping Bordeaux ya know. Now if you want to trust your wife, take a look at divorce statistics and settlement averages and ....... up to you.

I like your first comment, but you don't trust your wife? Then why give her all your money?

Are you faithful and trustworthy youself? It's called Karma

If you are trustworthy and faithful, maybe 1-4 have been mistakes and you need to choose #5 more carefully .....

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I like your first comment, but you don't trust your wife? Then why give her all your money?

Are you faithful and trustworthy youself? It's called Karma

If you are trustworthy and faithful, maybe 1-4 have been mistakes and you need to choose #5 more carefully .....

The more trusting, open and honest you are, the more you get shat on.

Karma Vs Reality

Reality teaches us Karma is BS.

[cyborgx]

As far as the OP is concerned 96tehtarp and TallGuyJohnin BKK gave great responses.

I personally don't give my GF anything. Like some others on here she has a decent job and does what she wants with her income. I do pay for Rent Utilities and all the food and drink.

I've had a couple of GF;s that expected a monthly "allowance". They never got it.

I totally understand the family pressure to bring in money (in some but not all Thai families), and some of the constant family emergencies are actually real, but its always been my opinion that people need to first learn to take care of themselves, before they think about having serious relationships, children, or even large pets (dogs cats etc). Otherwise they just turn out to be paid slaves (if unluckly), or kept spouses (lucky but little more than prostitutes on a monthly salary, or if they are not giving it up, VERY LUCKY and living with a moron!).

The kids and pets frequently are the victims of the selfishness of these people.

I want to make it clear that my comments above relate to situations where no children are involved. When children are involved it gets a lot more complicated.....

Why do these women get pregnant if they can't even take care of themselves financially?! They are either REALLY STUPID (perhaps a teen pregnancy by a "sweet talking" Thai guy), and/or are betting their childs future on the good heart of a Farang ATM to marry them and take care of all their financial problems..

The plan of the monthly allowance woman is usually get pregnant then married (preferably in the reverse order but more often happens like this), followed by lazing in a nice home built and paid for by their ATM hubby. Heard it many times before? That's because its true......

Obviously there are exceptions to all of these general statements, but in most part they all apply to any woman who expect a regular "Allowance" payment. My advice is if you are attached to your kid, get him to your home country, stop payments, then re-negotiate with your wife. You'll probably find that as soon as the money stops flowing she will either see the error of her ways and work for reconcilliation, or what is more likely and happens most of the time, she will drop you like a hot one and you'll be left as a single parent.

Edited August 5, 2014 by cyborgx

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Obviously there are exceptions to all of these general statements, but in most part they all apply to any woman who expect a regular "Allowance" payment. My advice is if you are attached to your kid, get him to your home country then re-negotiate with your wife. You'll probably find that as soon as the money stops flowing she will either see the error of her ways and work for reconcilliation, or what is more likely and happens most of the time, she will drop you like a hot one and you'll be left as a single parent.

3rd alternative,

She gets to your home country and takes you for most of what you earn for the next 20 years.

[cyborgx]

Obviously there are exceptions to all of these general statements, but in most part they all apply to any woman who expect a regular "Allowance" payment. My advice is if you are attached to your kid, get him to your home country then re-negotiate with your wife. You'll probably find that as soon as the money stops flowing she will either see the error of her ways and work for reconcilliation, or what is more likely and happens most of the time, she will drop you like a hot one and you'll be left as a single parent.

3rd alternative,

She gets to your home country and takes you for most of what you earn for the next 20 years.

I didn't say bring her to your home country, just the kid, but you are right its also an option for her, but I understand that courts are not being so generous to the mothers these days as they once were.

[cyborgx]

I like your first comment, but you don't trust your wife? Then why give her all your money?

Are you faithful and trustworthy youself? It's called Karma

If you are trustworthy and faithful, maybe 1-4 have been mistakes and you need to choose #5 more carefully .....

The more trusting, open and honest you are, the more you get shat on.

Karma Vs Reality

Reality teaches us Karma is BS.

I didn't say become a blind and deaf moron. If you get shat on move on, doesn't mean the answer is to mistrust and shit on everyone by default. Think is getting a bit off topic...

[elliottm]

I shared costs when she worked for a chemicals co in BKK, 20k each (40k).

Now she's running a business at her hometown the lion's share of costs goes through that (20-25k), I top up about 7k for food/necessities etc.

Not a direct comparison as we've had to delay starting a family for her health and about 10k is staying a few days in Bkk each month (hospital & re-stocking). And costs might be bit over Isaan.

[spidermike007]

20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan.

It is far more than she would make in bangkok, with a college degree, unless she had a lot of experience or specialized training. But, since she has your child, that is the wild card. Depends on how much you want to provide them both. But 15-20k per month is a nice allowance. And when my woman mentions the nonsense that some of these guys engage in, I just tell her that is not who she got involved with. You knew I was not wealthy when you got with me. So, stop telling me those stories. I do not want to hear it. You have to set limits. You have to maintain discipline in the family ranks!

[Capt Rob]

It's hard to know who's the moving/instigating party here, the lady or her Mom...

But, I would say, there are lots of places in Isaan where farang guys are attached to former or current bar girls, and end up paying (stupidly in my opinion) big money per month (20, 30 or 50K or more) and/or paying for (in local terms) fancy new houses for the lady and extended family. The guys may be living here, but also instead, may be living abroad with future plans to move and for now earning farang salaries in their home country.

I say this because, I've run into personal experience situations in the past where there becomes a lot of pressure felt by the girl herself, or imposed on the girl by her Mom or family, to not lose face/keep up with other families/girls in their village/area who may have a generous farang sponsor. The girl herself may be greedy, but the family may also be piling on since the girl may also be the main source of support for the entire family group.

And, if other girls in the village have hit the farang jackpot, then there's kind of the expectation that your girl and her family ought to be able to do equally well with her farang. And it may be hard for you to figure out whether your girl is simply greedy, or, perhaps her Mom/parents/family are pressuring her, and many Thai women have a hard time saying NO to their Moms about almost anything.

That's not the kind of relationship/arrangement I'd ever want to put myself into, and I haven't, fortunately. I did have an ex-GF with whom I thought I was building a good relationship bail on me after we met her parents for the first time in their home city, and I refused to commit to building a new house for them (this after having known her but a few months, and certainly not married or even talking about it, at that point).

But, I didn't have any children to be responsible for as part of the equation, and that changes the dynamics a bit.

I'm happily married now, my wife works at a full time job, and she sends 10K a month to support her Mom and Dad, who are elderly and have a very simple life, out of her own salary. Our basic agreement is, I support her, and it's up to her how she wants to support her parents and anyone else in her immediate family.

Sage advice here, balanced without avoiding reality. Having a child to look out for should not preclude you from being realistic and firm . . . . . . . . or it will get a lot worse, good luck.

[isawasnake]

I don't know, I would much rather put the 15 or 20k whatever it may be, into a condo, and have the kid and wife live there. That way, you are much more in control, and it would preclude much of the crap that goes on like supporting all of the inlaws to a certain extent. Because that is what is going on. When you think of Thais out there in the country, think of a shark feeding frenzy, only each shark is also tearing off pieces for itself and the other sharks. You gotta put a stop to that.

[cyborgx]

I give my wife for her family $20K baht per month which is more than enough.

From the start we don't have any money discussions as I have been clear she needs to "budget" the $20K for all their needs. I am not paying for a buffalo, a motorcycle, a new car,...or a house.

My wife has told me her Aunt told her she should suck more money from me and she just laughs at them as they struggle with selling chickens and selling food on the road side in the hot Thai temps.

I beg to differ. If you are giving her 20K Baht per month "for her family", what do you think its being spent on? Yes its the motorbike for little joey and the house for aunty Ning....

Do you give her her own allowance too?

Do either ever come back and say "oh we didn't need so much this month, here's some back"? LOL like that's ever gonna happen.

Maybe her Aunt is a moneygrabber and perhaps you have misrepresented your wife, but laughing at a poor old woman scraping a living trying to sell chickens and food on the hot streets of Thailand, she sounds like a real bitch! First sign of a psychopath is no Empathy.....

[cyborgx]

" Amazing Thailand & Amazing Farang " .....

Firstly in a correct and honest loving relationship you don't give any money to a Thai Girlfiend! ( absolutely nothing ! ) she should be with you because she wants to be with you! Most of my friends living with there girlfriends in Thailand split all the bills 50 / 50 which is a great idea and also shows you that the lady wants to be with you for who you really are! " The moment you PAY a lady to live with you is the day your problems will start! There are many farang living in Thailand who pay a lady every month because they cannot find a girlfriend who actually wants to be with them and then it is not a relationship but only a " business arrangement " and the more money you give the more she will want!

Well put.

[puukao]

Here's the the thing.....some people make money a lot easier than others. 10k USD a month in USA when the economy is great isn't that hard, while in Thailand they make a lot less, obviously. Emotions make you want to take care of the children, and women you love. So you mentally "give away" $20,000 USD and figure you are balancing out some karma or something. Sure, maybe you could do 10,000 baht a month with much more headaches. But you might not need to. Spoiling? sure, and to some people it makes them feel good since it is their kids and wife. but in thailand when the kids get cash it's the farang (we don't call him father, or dad) who gets scammed. LOL. All bread winners in USA are "paying" their spouses in one way or the other. In the divorce, the lady tries to get the house and tons of cash.

and then the guy tries to control the situation and wonders why he is alone and broke soon. tough situation for the OP.....sounds like she may not be your best friend. but you have kids that need your attention more than your cash......

[Gimino]

It might be noted that the gal is quite happy to put the acid on you for money, even to support the other child. Is that father still around? If so, does she hit him

up for any child support? No mention is made of her extracting a few quid from that guy. Additionally, as far are the gal's mother goes, her siblings can kick the

tin for her as well, not just you.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

" Amazing Thailand & Amazing Farang " .....

Firstly in a correct and honest loving relationship you don't give any money to a Thai Girlfiend! ( absolutely nothing ! ) she should be with you because she wants to be with you! Most of my friends living with there girlfriends in Thailand split all the bills 50 / 50 which is a great idea and also shows you that the lady wants to be with you for who you really are! " The moment you PAY a lady to live with you is the day your problems will start! There are many farang living in Thailand who pay a lady every month because they cannot find a girlfriend who actually wants to be with them and then it is not a relationship but only a " business arrangement " and the more money you give the more she will want!

Having a child with a lady is a different situation altogether.I would still get her to get a part time job somewhere and i think it would be more than generous to give her 5,000 baht a month towards the costs of looking after the child.Also the golden rule is to never show your " financial status " to your Thai Girlfriend.It's better to act as though you are going through a financial crisis and your finances are at a level of " Critical " ( a good test to see how much they really care about you...)

Being in a relationship is about " compromise " from both sides.( that includes financially )

farang jaidee

Plenty of Thai ladies will have a baby with you as part of the 'business arrangement'.

As you can see from the Australian downs syndrome baby story, you can pay cash and take baby with you.

[KarenBravo]

100,000 Bt a month. I can afford it and I can't take it with me........

As she says her self "meeting you, I won the lottery".

Man......I get taken care off like you wouldn't believe!

[Maroon Watcher]

Same with me. I look after my wife ONLY with the money I earn here.

When she works she can send the lot home if she wants - no problem.

I moved from a small town to many cities to get money for my future.

(When I didn't have a job, I applied for a gabbage collectors position...)

I then started a business working 16 hours a day...

I don't give my money to people who sit on their ***** !

It's hard to know who's the moving/instigating party here, the lady or her Mom...

But, I would say, there are lots of places in Isaan where farang guys are attached to former or current bar girls, and end up paying (stupidly in my opinion) big money per month (20, 30 or 50K or more) and/or paying for (in local terms) fancy new houses for the lady and extended family. The guys may be living here, but also instead, may be living abroad with future plans to move and for now earning farang salaries in their home country.

I say this because, I've run into personal experience situations in the past where there becomes a lot of pressure felt by the girl herself, or imposed on the girl by her Mom or family, to not lose face/keep up with other families/girls in their village/area who may have a generous farang sponsor. The girl herself may be greedy, but the family may also be piling on since the girl may also be the main source of support for the entire family group.

And, if other girls in the village have hit the farang jackpot, then there's kind of the expectation that your girl and her family ought to be able to do equally well with her farang. And it may be hard for you to figure out whether your girl is simply greedy, or, perhaps her Mom/parents/family are pressuring her, and many Thai women have a hard time saying NO to their Moms about almost anything.

That's not the kind of relationship/arrangement I'd ever want to put myself into, and I haven't, fortunately. I did have an ex-GF with whom I thought I was building a good relationship bail on me after we met her parents for the first time in their home city, and I refused to commit to building a new house for them (this after having known her but a few months, and certainly not married or even talking about it, at that point).

But, I didn't have any children to be responsible for as part of the equation, and that changes the dynamics a bit.

I'm happily married now, my wife works at a full time job, and she sends 10K a month to support her Mom and Dad, who are elderly and have a very simple life, out of her own salary. Our basic agreement is, I support her, and it's up to her how she wants to support her parents and anyone else in her immediate family.

[kieran2698]

They need only 5000 in ESAAN. And they should save on that !

Are you living in Issan on 5000? If you are not then you are bigot.

[ggt]

Your story is so common...what most men do not realize...Thai women's promise of undying love is a ruse used to get foreigners to send them money...it is a cottage industry and many Thai women work the internet daily looking for more victims...the need for more money will continue to grow...as this girl will bring in all manner of needs that she has learned over the years...gets the best response from her suitors...good luck...

[losworld]

Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more.

Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get.

One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and

lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000.

Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village.

I fear she may be turning into that monster!

No wonder many Thais have no respect for farangs and want nothing to do with Isaan girls if they see this.

Personally there are many great gals in Isaan but the ones seeming to find the falang via beer bars are not winning any favors with the good girls.