Raising Your Children Thai vs Western?

[farang000999]

Thai Visa is a collection of very sharp witted individuals and if anyone mentions Starbucks you will have about twenty responses in five minutes telling you that people only buy it so they can be seen drinking it, that is over priced and poor quality. Nothing gets by these gents.

So now how then do you raise your children in Thailand where this type of Western thinking is severely frowned upon and literally illegal?

What do you when your child points out any of the many hypocrisies in Thai society?

Do you raise them to be free thinking or to do what those of a higher social hierarchy have ordered?

[SilverBeast]

I can barely understand your post.

Raise them to be free thinkers....

When they point out hypocrisies acknowledge that they are right. Why do anything else like lie or discourage them?

Literally illegal?

[benalibina]

When i was still living there with my kids, i tried to let them think for themselves, to know the shades of grey (f.i. i tried to explain them the difference between....stupid and not so clever) and how little they were, to do things themselves instead of others doing it for them. (Un)dressing themselves springs to mind, and they were proud to show me the result....a high five followed then. During my last visit i tried telling my son to always be honest and not be afraid to open his mouth when things were not to his liking.

[maccaroni man]

I am a father of two and IMO the Asian way of thinking and behavior towards the family unit is a very healthy atmosphere to raise a child. I was raised in a comservitive environment that had a very ridge view of honesty, responsibility and accountability and these attitudes have served me well. Our approach has been a fusion of both cultures and both boys seem happy well adjusted and on track to a bright future. Having said that anything can happen and they may end up lost souls

[smokie36]

Love your kids and give them as good an education as you can....spend time with them and less cash on em....you will reap the rewards.

Unless you are a plonker....then best send em to boarding school.

[farang000999]

The replies are mostly avoiding the question. I am talking specifically about issues where Thai and Western culture differ drastically.

An example, many Thais will not dare correct an elder/teacher who has made a mistake as this would cause them to lose face whereas in Western culture a pupil would be praised for correcting a teacher.

In Western culture, people do not get grovel/lower their bodies when they come in contact with those of a higher social status nor do those of a higher social status expect those of a lower status to grovel.

In their own personal lives many farang take the view that they are just a guest and thus should not question anything in Thailand and even if they can see through the hypocrisy they go along to get along... but with a child you now face the choice of whether or not your will indoctrinate them into this system or raise them to be free thinking.

[SilverBeast]

Free thinking.

"An example, many Thais will not dare correct an elder/teacher who has made a mistake as this would cause them to lose face whereas in Western culture a pupil would be praised for correcting a teacher." ...Actually most pupils won't get praised for that in Western Culture...but if that is how you perceive it.

"In Western culture, people do not get grovel/lower their bodies when they come in contact with those of a higher social status nor do those of a higher social status expect those of a lower status to grovel." There are other things that happen in western culture regarding this that you may no longer notice. I do find this a little strange in Thailand though...Its a different culture for sure. You could probably teach how the Thai Culture do things and how the Western Culture does things. Then the kids would know and understand both.

Learning customs of different places can be an interesting thing.

[smokie36]

I think your idea of modern Thai student thinking is out of line with the reality to be honest.

Thais have access to the same kind of influences as the rest of the world....and the country will change...be it for better or worse.

[benalibina]

I think your idea of modern Thai student thinking is out of line with the reality to be honest.

Thais have access to the same kind of influences as the rest of the world....and the country will change...be it for better or worse.

But it matters how one, they, deal with those influences......

[smokie36]

I think your idea of modern Thai student thinking is out of line with the reality to be honest.

Thais have access to the same kind of influences as the rest of the world....and the country will change...be it for better or worse.

But it matters how one, they, deal with those influences......

The biggest influence on children is their parents....or lack thereof.

[benalibina]

I think your idea of modern Thai student thinking is out of line with the reality to be honest.

Thais have access to the same kind of influences as the rest of the world....and the country will change...be it for better or worse.

But it matters how one, they, deal with those influences......

The biggest influence on children is their parents....or lack thereof.

I concur 100% with the above.

[wow64]

confusing post... my child doesn't drink at Starbucks. Hope that helps

[samran]

Thai culture is Thai culture. What some view as subservience, others view as chosing your battles and playing the long game.

[seajae]

I know when I was raising my girls I taught them to respect others, use manners always and to be honest with people, all these seem to be missing here in a lot of cases but face is the biggest problem. In the west face is not a part of peoples lives, maybe if parents taught their kids to treat others as you would want to be treated we might see a major improvement in how they act. Western values are meaningless here so trying to compare is hard, the way of thais has been set by others(chinese) to follow their influence and allow them to do as they please, trying to change it would be very difficult, doubt we will ever see this change so kids will always be the same as their parents.

[brd]

Raising kids and or pets the first two years are similar afterwards kids grow up to become adults except in Thailand under the Thai culture easy, free for all thinking, no one telling NO ever, they remain pets all their life consequently keen only to play, play, play not responsible at all, not trustful, not hard workers, only hearing what they want to hear never listening and gambling with feelings as shortcuts for ever......

Therefore lucky kids who have a mother and a father ( not entrusted to grd parents in the provinces ) can be taught right and wrong allowing them to listen to not to hear and ignore only Thai style.

Looking at the way I call my son number 3, being 3 years old, when i.e. running away from me to play turning his head stopping with a beautiful smile any Thai lady will say she can see he is not a Thai boy.....

I have seen it too much and now the new Government will have a hard times to educate better the mentalities....Not for me !

[khunPer]

Raise with the best from both Worlds, Farang & Thai, and with respect for both – and to be “free thinking”…

[ebean001]

I know I already gave a long explanation on another topic page and don't want to do it again. I would summerize as: (you are in serious trouble by the way)

1. It is a horrible experience

2. The kid will greatly suffer because of the differences

3. Your wife will make it perfectly understood by the kid that they are #1 and who knows what number you are.

4. If it a daughter she will have a horrible father - daughter realtionship with you because of your wife. the daughter will have poor relationships with men in the future is very likely.

5. The arrival of the baby will strain your wife/husband relationship to a breaking point.

Just walk thru the mall and look at the young people. that is what you will have if you let your wife raise the kid. if you can have a part the child might have a chance. the problem with kids in thailand is not necessarily with the schools - it is with the parents who have no idea how to raise kids. e.g. my wife still spoon feeds our 4 year old when i am not looking. I stop it. I am the bad guy in my daughters eyes. my wife goes back to spoon feeding. the kid is slowly turing into a very imature little thai kid. i cannot stop it. my wife gets angry with me when i try patiently to explain this is not good.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Very tired after playing footy in the road with a load of kids and a cute Thai teen.

What was the question again?

[hotsoup]

Much depends on your plans for their future. Ours were raised, as far as was possible, in a multicultural environment where an understanding and acceptance of the differences between cultures were a regular topic over supper. There is a pretty uncompromising attitude among Thais that if you do not know how to conform with Thai behavior and culture you will have a pretty tough time if you wish to live and work with Thais in a Thai milieu. My Thai family's jaws drop when they are in Europe and see the insouciance, freedom and lack of conformity of the children, let alone the adults. My view, which I pretty much keep to myself for the sake of the children's social life, is that Thai 'culture' is a dead weight. It is a bit like language..Thai for school, English for home. I have tried to teach them to discriminate. Being Thai is part of going to school and being with Thai people. At home they can be as outrageously 'western' as they like!

[tartempion]

I don't get the stereotype replies.

My 3.5 year young girl showers herself, can not stand her mother or father dresses her, she decides what clothes to wear and don't try to tell her otherwise and eats her vegs the way she wants.

She gets raised by a Thai mother and a farang father, whatever that means, but many Thainess views are not part of my convictions and from what I can see she does not resemble the nearby village kids behavior wise, thus I guess her mother is not following Thai culture for the full 100%, far from it.

[thailand49]

If you want to raise them to be Thai, expect them to have no goals or ambition especially if you send them to a pure Thai school. Expect them to end up barely speaking or understanding any English. Expect your child when he gets older to hang out with his friends and not call or come home and tell you no battery on their phones.

If you want any kind of future for your kids get them to a International school that has a track record and if you can't get them out of the country. Do whatever it takes to keep them away from a Thai school!

[h82goslow]

Raise them to be Western. Thai way is the wrong way. I have been a teacher for almost 4 years and I have first hand knowledge of how Thai kids are. There is no real respect for older people, it is only an act due to expectations. No discipline and no real thinking on their own. It might cause conflict with the wife and family, but just remind them that you as a Westerner were good enough to marry, so Western culture should be good enough for your children.

[givenall]

Although as Thai is not any cheaper but as Frang is better for their future

[DrTuner]

If choosing between Thai and Western culture items when there is a clash, I just choose the one that has the most potential to benefit the kids in the future according to my own judgement. If I'm wrong, well, shit happens.

[dunroaming]

If you choose to raise your child in Thailand then I think you should put him/her in an international school with a western curriculum. If you were raised to appreciate values such as honesty, fair play, getting ahead by working hard and respect for others then the Thai education system is not for you and yours. Free thinking should always be encouraged but doing so in Thailand will probably lead to a difficult time in Thai society

Just my opinion

[BadBouy]

The replies are mostly avoiding the question. I am talking specifically about issues where Thai and Western culture differ drastically.

An example, many Thais will not dare correct an elder/teacher who has made a mistake as this would cause them to lose face whereas in Western culture a pupil would be praised for correcting a teacher.

In Western culture, people do not get grovel/lower their bodies when they come in contact with those of a higher social status nor do those of a higher social status expect those of a lower status to grovel.

In their own personal lives many farang take the view that they are just a guest and thus should not question anything in Thailand and even if they can see through the hypocrisy they go along to get along... but with a child you now face the choice of whether or not your will indoctrinate them into this system or raise them to be free thinking.

I assume you are a westerner and you have to learn and deal with Thai culture. If I were in your position I would teach the child both ways and how to balance one against the other and respect both. To not make the child aware of western ways would be a disservice, but if they are going to live in Thailand they have to be able to function within the society. Your ability to absorb, rationalize, and balance between the two cultures will have a great effect in the impact on you children's ability to be multicultural. Your children will follow your example. IMHO Best wishes.

[mike324]

kids learn and grow based on their environment, by all means send them to a western one if you can afford it. If you want them to have a strong Thai base, send them to a Thai school in elementary, and switch to international school in middle school and up. If you switch to international school in high school, it would have been to late, they will be too Thai and will unlikely to think and view the world the western way.

This is based on personal experience growing up here.

[Cpkt8]

Regardless where parents raise their kids, please refrain them from using gadgets like smartphones, iPads and computers. And watching too much television cartoons.

Kids nowadays are so glued to IT, personally I find them losing out their childhood fun and quality family bonding big time.

Who to blame? Most adult individuals like you and me are equally guilty as we are too addicted to our gadgets.

[animatic]

Free thinker, using observation and analysis to understand the world around her.

I also say observe and learn to interact well in Thai culture as it exists.

We discuss the local culture and western and how they intersect and where they just don't connect.

[smotherb]

Excuse me if I have not seen the post, but I see no long-term consideration for your children. Cultural dimensions vary by cultural group, but information technology and the world wide web have, are and will change many cultural differences.

I see consistent lack of planning for the child's future. I know many farangs married with children here. I see very few farangs sending their children to the better schools, here or abroad. The majority of these children attend Thai public schools. They often do not speak the farang parent's native language; most can barely speak English, no better than other Thai children.

How are these children going to cope in the future? If they stay in Thailand, they will most likely live a quasi-normal Thai life; albeit somewhat discriminated by their half-cast origins. If they attempt to go to the West, their chances for success are severely limited.