Is Thai bar girl different to most?

[benalibina]

She says she doesn't bar fine now as she loves me too much to do that, but does shows and dancing. I think I believe her as everything she has said so far has turned out to be true but obviously it is natural to have doubts. She says the bar pay her flat rate of 12,500 bar per month, and gets paid 6,000 for shows and then gets 50 baht per drink and can easily get 20 drinks bought for in a night apparently but has a way of not having to drink them all and also gets tips here and there. As the bar require minimum 8 bar fines a month she has to pay the bar 4,800 baht a month 8x600 baht (bar fine).

So she earns 40,xxx per month being an angel ?

...and you think it's reasonable for her to work in a bar where she teases multiple drunk men every evening.

...and you don't think these men won't be upset they've travelled thousands of miles only to be teased.

...and all the time she's teasing the customers, to gain her excellent earnings, she's thinking of you "as she loves you too much".

Wake up!

btw: how do you plan on getting her a visa? --do you plan on lying to UK immigration about her circumstances ? --How far into the quicksand do you wish to stride?

If i may say so......you seem to be really interested/concerned in/about the OP his love life....care to share why that is ?

[RandomSand]

If i may say so......you seem to be really interested/concerned in/about the OP his love life....care to share why that is ?

There's no basis like "I married a girl from a bar and she took me to the cleaners" if that's what you're thinking!

Edited September 4, 2014 by RandomSand

[benalibina]

If i may say so......you seem to be really interested/concerned in/about the OP his love life....care to share why that is ?

There's no basis like "I married a girl from a bar and she took me to the cleaners" if that's what you're thinking!

Hmm...i still have your unedited comment in mind by writing this reply. I perceived the answer from you would be...genuine concern about a young guy who, most likely, doesnt know what he is getting himself into. Your edited reply never crossed my mind by me asking the question.

[RandomSand]

If i may say so......you seem to be really interested/concerned in/about the OP his love life....care to share why that is ?

There's no basis like "I married a girl from a bar and she took me to the cleaners" if that's what you're thinking!

Hmm...i still have your unedited comment in mind by writing this reply. I perceived the answer from you would be...genuine concern about a young guy who, most likely, doesnt know what he is getting himself into. Your edited reply never crossed my mind by me asking the question.

Are you playing games with me ?

If you have anything else to say about my edited reply-- (in which I mentioned that I prefer to not spend my time in "falang entertain venues" and that they shouldn't be taken too seriously) --then I suggest you speak up now.

Let's see if you are playing games, or not, shall we.

Edited September 4, 2014 by RandomSand

[zeichen]

When your friends, family, co workers ask you where you met are you going to say, " she is a prostitute and we met after I took her back to my hotel a few times.

What would you tell your children in the future?

Do you really want to be with a young girl who has a kid. I know I didn't at 24.

[RandomSand]

What I want to know is this:

Does the OP realise that getting a UK visa might be long and drawn out process ?

With the above in mind; does he think it best for his "girlfriend" to stop working in the bar and get a normal job ?

Will the OP acknowledge the reality of the situation or will he continue trolling us with his mysterious & irrelevant "good girl or bad girl" dilemma.

Edited September 4, 2014 by RandomSand

[scoteng]

Just don't understand why plenty of people think I'm a troll? Yeah I'm going to waste my time writing a fake post on a forum, yeah ok! I have not been posting on here last few days as stated. I posted this yesterday, and got my internet 2 days ago. I got it late afternoon on Tuesday and she had gone to bed early as she was at home in Buriram and getting bus back home early in the morning. I do work as a croupier, mainly nights and was working last night 22:00-06:00 and got back and skyped her 08:00-10:00. Also I do have internet on the computer in our staff room. All these people saying they will check her out for me, well like I said I have a friend who lives out there who is married to a thai and I could get him to do it, but I have chosen not to. Situation is his fault he introduced me to this bar ha ha. Still I see people are not seeing my point that this girl has something different about her compared to others. You remember I am aware what these girls are like and it took a long time of keeping a close eye on her and seeing how she is for me to start letting my guard down. She speaks genuine in my eyes and doesn't have to think about a word she says. She has said numerous times it doesn't matter about the money and she'd sort out the permanent bar fine no problem. The thing is what have I actually got to lose? I'm not a rich kid with fortunes in the bank or have property? Yes I could end up wasting a couple of years and end up with a broken heart possibly, but that applies to all relationships. As impossible as it might sound I do look at her and see love in her eyes when she looks at me. I always joke with her a lot and we have always had a laugh. As far as people saying she pays all her bar fines, well if you look it up bar girls are required usually to make a minimum number of bar fines per month, and in this case with the bar she has to make a minimum of bar fines per month so she has to pay 8 bar fines herself each month out of her base salary. She has said she doesn't bar fine. She doesn't see more than one boy at a time and if she did she would end it with me. She had a thai boyfriend about a year or so ago and he actually sent me a picture of them 2 over private message a couple months back, god knows why but it was definitely an old picture as she looked a fair bit younger. I told her and she wasn't happy, apparently he was into selling drugs so she finished with him and his girlfriend has just been sent to prison so is after her back, but she's not interested at all.

[benalibina]

If i may say so......you seem to be really interested/concerned in/about the OP his love life....care to share why that is ?

There's no basis like "I married a girl from a bar and she took me to the cleaners" if that's what you're thinking!

Hmm...i still have your unedited comment in mind by writing this reply. I perceived the answer from you would be...genuine concern about a young guy who, most likely, doesnt know what he is getting himself into. Your edited reply never crossed my mind by me asking the question.

Are you playing games with me ?

If you have anything else to say about my edited reply-- (in which I mentioned that I prefer to not spend my time in "falang entertain venues" and that they shouldn't be taken too seriously) --then I suggest you speak up now.

Let's see if you are playing games, or not, shall we.

Sorry...i think you totally misunderstood my reply....i mean totally.....

I asked you a question, right ?

You replied, right ? Edited and unedited.

When i asked you the question i thought your answer would be about why you seem to care about OP.......genuine care about him not making a mistake and wasting time. Thats it. Nothing more.

Please dont get upset about which is/was not there from me. Kapom.

[scoteng]

By the way guys I would be more than happy to post in a few months if it goes wrong and there's a horror story, or at any point in next few years.

[RandomSand]

By the way guys I would be more than happy to post in a few months if it goes wrong and there's a horror story, or at any point in next few years.

Excellent. Please keep us all up to date.

Now you've found love what do ya plan to do with it ?

Edited September 4, 2014 by RandomSand

[AYJAYDEE]

Sorry...i think you totally misunderstood my reply....i mean totally.....

I asked you a question, right ?

You replied, right ? Edited and unedited.

When i asked you the question i thought your answer would be about why you seem to care about OP.......genuine care about him not making a mistake and wasting time. Thats it. Nothing more.

Please dont get upset about which is/was not there from me. Kapom.

I too get confused by many of your answers. Is english your first language?

[benalibina]

By the way guys I would be more than happy to post in a few months if it goes wrong and there's a horror story, or at any point in next few years.

The more exceptions there will come about the perceived, by many, most likely failure in situations like yours, the better it is.

[scoteng]

By the way guys I would be more than happy to post in a few months if it goes wrong and there's a horror story, or at any point in next few years.

Excellent. Please keep us all up to date.

Now you've found love what do ya plan to do with it ?

Just go with the flow I guess. See how it all goes next time I return in November. The thing with her is she is so shy and innocent and like I have said to you all I have had so many thai people say this is a good girl take care of her, not just the odd one. I think thai people will know their own the best. I think I am a pretty good judge of character and I like to study people. My long term ex partner got a new boyfriend a few months back and I was devastated, but one day I saw him and I did say to her (this wasn't out of jealousy) that I don't like the look of him there's something not right about him and don't come crying to me if it goes wrong, and 3 months later he cheated on her and came crying to me.

[buhi]

"You remember I am aware what these girls are like and it took a long time of keeping a close eye on her and seeing how she is for me to start letting my guard down."

Short memory!

You or me?

[RandomSand]

She had a thai boyfriend about a year or so ago and he actually sent me a picture of them 2 over private message a couple months back, god knows why but it was definitely an old picture as she looked a fair bit younger. I told her and she wasn't happy, apparently he was into selling drugs so she finished with him and his girlfriend has just been sent to prison so is after her back, but she's not interested at all.

Your Thai "Girlfriend", who works in an agogo dancing bar wherein you met each other, has an "ex-boyfriend" who she had previously finished with. This "ex-boyfriend", who sells drugs, has just seen his own "girlfriend" get banged-up and since this event is now back in contact with "your girlfriend".

Is all the above correct ?

Just go with the flow I guess. See how it all goes next time I return in November. The thing with her is she is so shy and innocent and like I have said to you all I have had so many thai people say this is a good girl take care of her, not just the odd one. I think thai people will know their own the best. I think I am a pretty good judge of character and I like to study people. My long term ex partner got a new boyfriend a few months back and I was devastated, but one day I saw him and I did say to her (this wasn't out of jealousy) that I don't like the look of him there's something not right about him and don't come crying to me if it goes wrong, and 3 months later he cheated on her and came crying to me.

So you're convinced she's a sweetheart and she loves you, okay I accept it, I believe you, and you look in her eyes and feel love... OK! ... you're going to sit back and let her work in that bar ???

How will you feel when the ex bf has her on yabba or ice? How will you feel when you're in the UK and not in control?

Make sure you got loads of skype-out credit, a big box of tissues ....and no regrets

Edited September 4, 2014 by RandomSand

[buhi]

"You remember I am aware what these girls are like and it took a long time of keeping a close eye on her and seeing how she is for me to start letting my guard down."

Short memory!

You or me?

Next game!

A very mature 24 year old, so mature it is obviously a troll!

[buhi]

"You remember I am aware what these girls are like and it took a long time of keeping a close eye on her and seeing how she is for me to start letting my guard down."

Short memory!

You or me?

Next game!

A very mature 24 year old, so mature it is obviously a troll!

I like playing games too!

Next!

[scoteng]

She had a thai boyfriend about a year or so ago and he actually sent me a picture of them 2 over private message a couple months back, god knows why but it was definitely an old picture as she looked a fair bit younger. I told her and she wasn't happy, apparently he was into selling drugs so she finished with him and his girlfriend has just been sent to prison so is after her back, but she's not interested at all.

Your Thai "Girlfriend", who works in an agogo dancing bar wherein you met each other, has an "ex-boyfriend" who she had previously finished with. This "ex-boyfriend", who sells drugs, has just seen his own "girlfriend" get banged-up and since this event is now back in contact with "your girlfriend".

Is all the above correct ?

Well this came up about 3 months ago. Not really been mentioned since. She said he sold drugs and she didn't want to be involved with it all, and says he and his mother speak about her no good with the job that she does now.

[scoteng]

"You remember I am aware what these girls are like and it took a long time of keeping a close eye on her and seeing how she is for me to start letting my guard down."

Short memory!

You or me?

Next game!

A very mature 24 year old, so mature it is obviously a troll!

Get real I am not a troll. In what way do I convince you that I am a troll?

[mrtoad]

OP, I think you should cement this relationship , it may seem like a big bridge to cross but, you can do it. I think you will do well together, and your Tilak will live happily ever after.

[AlexRRR]

Hmmm...weird post, troll? 24 year old guy knows it all and needs to get advice from this jaded lot, if your for real then you dont know what you want, there for your to young to be in "love" which means you will fall in love at least 3 more times before you hit 30, have a cold shower and get back to your playstation.

[Sunny Singh]

Dude, it's fun to play. Just pay safe, as long as you are enjoying life then it's all good.

Only thing to remember, do not close your eyes and trust her blindly.

[Pattaya Lous]

OP:

Just imagine that your boss says to you:

"Come and work with us full time, 24-7, work for free, because the company loves you, we will take care of you, you will enjoy it like we already payed you to enjoy it and smile at the customers".

You either take their offer, or, risk "agency work" with drunk perverted clients, or go and live on a farm with 200g of rice to eat each day.

So you choose option No. 1.

After a few years you get the chance to take 1/2 of the casino business and do one.

You see what I'm saying ?

Like I say I don't have a lot of money I'm just a regular 24 year old guy living normally in a rented flat. She knows I don't have money so wouldn't she just choose someone else? I don't know, I don't know how their minds work! I think the advantages that I have are that she is new to the bar scene and not hardcore and that I am a young lad so she is more likely to be going on appearance than if I was in my late 40s 50s no offence to people around that age. Think her money mum treat her badly and didn't want her when she was young, maybe she just wants to be loved? Who knows eh?

I'm lost for words

[RandomSand]

maybe she just wants to be loved? Who knows eh?

Oh yes, that's it!..

Girls know to go work in bars when they're lonely.

NO!.. getting hired & dumped repeatedly wouldn't make it any worse, would it?

Silly me, I thought the main reason they worked in bars was to put food on their family's table and to find the means for sending the young ones to school.

Edited September 4, 2014 by RandomSand

[55Jay]

Being 24 and "not desperate" as you said on page 1, would you pursue a relationship in the UK with these identical circumstances?

She's pursing you which doesn't take a great deal of energy on her part, you are the one doing all the ruminating because she's plucking your emotions (and genitals) like a harp. If she's new to the game, just know those work friends/colleagues she's referring, the ones with sponsors and mansions, are the ones showing her the ropes, which is fairly normal.

My impression is she's already got some sponsors sending her money, hence the luxury of playing around with you and building a potential husband portfolio for later on once she's run the track. BG's are still women and a male, farang or otherwise, closer to her age, is just natural. Fine, long as you realize you are not the only one and that the bills have to be paid somehow. Her English is improving because she's using it at work. I doubt the English classes but it's possible and if so, it's being funded by someone else.

Good luck, it's a long and winding road, and well trodden at that. As a matter of fact, another big airliner just landed at Swampy.....

[hellohello123]

Being 24 and "not desperate" as you said on page 1, would you pursue a relationship in the UK with these identical circumstances?

And why does every poster who picks up a bar girl begin their posts with "I dont struggle with ladies back home"

and yet they come to a third world country, and pick up a hooker (no skills/effort/hansumness required) and wonder why people dont believe a word they say

[Gecko123]

Hey OP:

I just want to go back to something you said quite a while ago. You said your girlfriend has told you on several occasions things like: "I'm not a good girl. I want you to find a good girl. I'm not right for you." That sort of struck a chord with me, because I've heard these phrases before from Thai women I've been involved with in the past.

I would seriously ask myself what she is trying to tell you by saying things like this. My experience has been that when a Thai woman says stuff like this, what she's really saying is: "I want out of the relationship."

I'm not saying this woman doesn't like you. My sense is that she probably does, for all I know, maybe a lot. You say you are a good looking guy, it sounds like there's reasonable chemistry between the two of you, and you're from the same generation. I'm sure these are all plusses in her eyes. So that begs the question: why would she harbour ambivalence about the relationship?

Trying to see things from her perspective, I can think of a few reasons. First off, you're not here, and she knows you could drop off the face of the planet at any time.

You've expressed little interest in providing for her and her child. From her perspective, you're one of these guys who wants to be a penpal or Skype-mate for months (maybe years) on end, and doesn't see any reason to make a commitment. SOP for most bar girls would be to jettison guys like that asap. Without a doubt, she is being bombarded left and right with stories from all the other girls in the bar bragging about how much money they are raking in from their clientele. Even if she doesn't already have other foreigners who are sending her money, the temptation to try and hook a new prospect must be enormous. Why would she invest any time in what would at best be a long shot?

Finally, she may have commitments back home, including the father of her child. By the way, I don't understand how he got your phone number to send you pictures. If he sent you pictures of him and his wife (your girlfriend) it definitely sounds like he is laying claim to her on some level. I'd be careful about this.

Just a couple last comments. I've seen a couple of young guys in their 20s come over here, quickly get involved with a Thai woman, and have one or more children with them. They seem to have given no thought whatsoever to their long-term future beforehand. When the reality of their life started to sink in it became grim. One guy became a raging alcholic. He ran around making up stories about how he had tons of money, disappearing for days on end, worrying his family to death. Another guy, who helped his wife sell grilled sausages in the market, ended up having a serious motorbike accident and getting shipped back home for medical rehab.

Thailand itself - - not just its women - - has a way of seducing you, lulling you into a false sense of complacency, encouraging the illusion that the laws of nature don't apply to you, and entrancing you into believing that you've somehow - -miraculously - - been handed a 'get-out-of-jail-free' card which exempts you from all that is the human condition. Coming to the realization that this isn't true, can be tough. I'm just saying, look before you leap into the fire.

[choochoo]

Just don't understand why plenty of people think I'm a troll? Yeah I'm going to waste my time writing a fake post on a forum, yeah ok! I have not been posting on here last few days as stated. I posted this yesterday, and got my internet 2 days ago. I got it late afternoon on Tuesday and she had gone to bed early as she was at home in Buriram and getting bus back home early in the morning. I do work as a croupier, mainly nights and was working last night 22:00-06:00 and got back and skyped her 08:00-10:00. Also I do have internet on the computer in our staff room. All these people saying they will check her out for me, well like I said I have a friend who lives out there who is married to a thai and I could get him to do it, but I have chosen not to. Situation is his fault he introduced me to this bar ha ha. Still I see people are not seeing my point that this girl has something different about her compared to others. You remember I am aware what these girls are like and it took a long time of keeping a close eye on her and seeing how she is for me to start letting my guard down. She speaks genuine in my eyes and doesn't have to think about a word she says. She has said numerous times it doesn't matter about the money and she'd sort out the permanent bar fine no problem. The thing is what have I actually got to lose? I'm not a rich kid with fortunes in the bank or have property? Yes I could end up wasting a couple of years and end up with a broken heart possibly, but that applies to all relationships. As impossible as it might sound I do look at her and see love in her eyes when she looks at me. I always joke with her a lot and we have always had a laugh. As far as people saying she pays all her bar fines, well if you look it up bar girls are required usually to make a minimum number of bar fines per month, and in this case with the bar she has to make a minimum of bar fines per month so she has to pay 8 bar fines herself each month out of her base salary. She has said she doesn't bar fine. She doesn't see more than one boy at a time and if she did she would end it with me. She had a thai boyfriend about a year or so ago and he actually sent me a picture of them 2 over private message a couple months back, god knows why but it was definitely an old picture as she looked a fair bit younger. I told her and she wasn't happy, apparently he was into selling drugs so she finished with him and his girlfriend has just been sent to prison so is after her back, but she's not interested at all.

Many of us believe you. Theres stupoid guys all over thailand who dont know how to deal with bargirls.....................lol.

[thailiketoo]

Being 24 and "not desperate" as you said on page 1, would you pursue a relationship in the UK with these identical circumstances?

And why does every poster who picks up a bar girl begin their posts with "I dont struggle with ladies back home"

and yet they come to a third world country, and pick up a hooker (no skills/effort/hansumness required) and wonder why people dont believe a word they say

Hookers are picked up by everyman. Do you really think Tiger Woods or Hugh Grant or Dominique Strauss-Kahn have a problem with women?

Yann Samuelides, 35, a managing director of Goldman Sachs, became so infatuated with the Slovakian escort girl that he wanted to make her his wife. And being a money man, he calculated that 28-year-old Alzbeta Holmokova was worth £500,000. Denis Morley, a 67-year-old retired businessman, told the court the banker had showered his young wife with gifts after becoming her client.

Men are men. Thailand does not have a monopoly on stupid.

[hellohello123]

Being 24 and "not desperate" as you said on page 1, would you pursue a relationship in the UK with these identical circumstances?

And why does every poster who picks up a bar girl begin their posts with "I dont struggle with ladies back home"

and yet they come to a third world country, and pick up a hooker (no skills/effort/hansumness required) and wonder why people dont believe a word they say

Hookers are picked up by everyman. Do you really think Tiger Woods or Hugh Grant or Dominique Strauss-Kahn have a problem with women?

Yann Samuelides, 35, a managing director of Goldman Sachs, became so infatuated with the Slovakian escort girl that he wanted to make her his wife. And being a money man, he calculated that 28-year-old Alzbeta Holmokova was worth £500,000. Denis Morley, a 67-year-old retired businessman, told the court the banker had showered his young wife with gifts after becoming her client.

Men are men. Thailand does not have a monopoly on stupid.

Very true, no arguments from me on that one

But I can bet my right foot that noneof them would be saying "I have no problem with women back home"every second line

As I said thailand attracts a certain type of people like I've mentioned previously