Feeling uncomfortable as a western woman in rural Thailand

[4evermaat]

I wonder how often this happens to the foreign ladies here in Chumphon. I'll ask around. Is this only for young female expats, or older ones get called out to as well?

[iamariva1957]

If a Thai man says anything like what you are reporting to a Thai woman, believe me something would be said by the recipient. I have seen that happen here where I live. I also have a Farang female friend that went through what you have reported as well. I was there at the time. She just turned on her heels and respond in Thai. That took care of things.There were even even laughs between both parties. Since then it seems that 'word got out' around town that this Farang woman is not to messed with.

So maybe... learn a good response in Thai? I am just saying.

[ToddinChonburi]

Every time I am out with my Thai girl friend they look at her like she is a piece of meat. now not all Thai men are like this but yes it gets a little iritating. Hang in there and good luck

[forumuser10]

Murphy0608

"I'm currently working in a rural part of Thailand and this morning I was yet again shouted at (I love you white woman) and when I write this I will go to the market where everyone will look at me like I have two heads. At first I thought it was funny and felt me a celebrity, but now I am just drained from being aware that everywhere I go there is people staring and talking. "

As someone above pointed out, it is not that you are a woman that is the main problem, it is the idea that we white people are being so extremely different from themselves. And what it mainly boils down to, is the constant use of the word "farang".

It really is a way to dehumanize us, regardless of what some people believe. And the biggest problem, many of us, seems to never get tired of being the dancing monkey, the object, the "other". Some Westerners really love the attention, of being the "farang" and quickly begin to call themselves this, even though they hardly speak any other word of Thai.

So how will Thais ever get the hint, if 80% of all Westerners do enjoy being pointed at, being the object, rather than a human being.

[LawrenceN]

I hope I'm welcome to reply, carrying around these icky Y chromosomes and all. You did open addressing "Ladies."

I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Maha Sarakham when I was just a pup 37 years ago. I'm now happily retired in Chiang Mai. The treatment you're getting is not so different for men. You're on the right track by learning to speak Thai. You do know, don't you, that the Thai words for "breast" and "milk" are the same word, right? - at least colloquially.

During my second year of Peace Corps, after I moved to Ayuthaya, I once wrote a letter to the principal of an elementary school that I passed frequently. I asked him to inform his students that "YOU!" is not considered a friendly greeting by most of us English-speakers. I explained, patiently I thought, that in a town like Ayuthaya, with lots of tourists, his students show know this, so as not to offend visitors. He didn't get it at all, replying that his students weren't yet studying English. Well, I tried.

The most useful thing I have to say (which is for you to judge) is to go out in public with Thai female friends as much as possible. I remember being asked once when I went to a barber for a haircut why I had come alone. It took some time to digest that, as I had never gone for a haircut with a friend.

Hope that helps.

[nithisa78]

It is part of world abberation. It is not exclusive to Thailand. It certainly has nothing to do with culture. Which is intellectual achievement.

[1FinickyOne]

I have been here a long time, I live in a small village - I am male and though the remarks are friendly, sometimes unknowingly insulting, it can get on my nerves too at times. It is better in larger towns and cities especially if they have other farang around. Mostly, they are just being friendly and I do understand. When I want to go for walks alone, I either go into town or out into the fields...

[JO1973]

Unfortunately there is no real remedy. Asian standards have a disturbing way of being one sided. If the same thing were to happen to a Thai (or just about any other East/Southeast Asian female) in a Western country they would be up in arms and it would be on the Thai evening news. But there is a great deal of nationalistic chauvinism in Asia so Western women can be treated fairly poorly because they are seen as less worthy of respect.

That said, Thais can say pretty rude things in front of Thais. God knows how many times I’ve heard my girlfriend’s sisters complain about people in the local market for being downright rude and saying things about them as if they weren’t there. After years of living in the developing world I can tell you that these kinds of things tend to happen in countries like Thailand but not in more developed countries. Economics plays a big role in social behavior.

Why don’t you say something back? I wouldn’t worry about them losing face. Showing them that you understand Thai is the best way to not only shut them up but also gain some respect for one-upping them. You’re not insulting them and they sure don’t have a problem insulting you. I bet you would find that you are treated a lot better if you did.

[Andre0720]

The looking and staring, as well as innocous remarks, the best thing to do is to say something pleasant in Thai, the sooner the better, it will stop them from talking about you and also remove some of the mystery --- Thais do tend to assume westerners can't speak their language.

Outright inappropriate remarks of a sexual nature (and unlike some of the men who replied here I do not for one second doubt that you are running into some 100% sexual harassment) - the best thing to do in my experience is to look outraged and disgusted and say very loudly: "Thamai mai supob?!" or "mai supob mak mak!". That will usually embarrass them into shutting up. Essentially you need to assert that it is no more appropriate to ay such things about you than it would be to say them about a "decent" Thai woman. Some men, especially those of low education, assume that the normal social conventions don't apply to foreign women, and will do and say things they would never try with a Thai woman. Your task is to let them know the same rules do apply. Speaking Thai will help, as will letting other by-standers hear the exchange. If there are any older Thai women nearby, you can turn to them and complain about the rudeness as well. This will often mobilize some assistance on your behalf.

Failing to express any outrage may in fact feed wrong impressions. You'd be amazed at some of the things uneducated Thai men believe about Western women.

Note that this advice all pertains to public settings with plenty of people about. Alone on a dark street, best to just get out of there fast.

BTW I live in a remote rural area and have for many, many years.

Tham mai mai supob... Now what would that mean? Is it an Esan dialect?

Nobody here understand what it means, Thai people I mean...

I asked my neighbours in Phuket....

So Why are you not.....subop Tham mai mai subop.... This subop word nobody knows here...

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The looking and staring, as well as innocous remarks, the best thing to do is to say something pleasant in Thai, the sooner the better, it will stop them from talking about you and also remove some of the mystery --- Thais do tend to assume westerners can't speak their language.

Outright inappropriate remarks of a sexual nature (and unlike some of the men who replied here I do not for one second doubt that you are running into some 100% sexual harassment) - the best thing to do in my experience is to look outraged and disgusted and say very loudly: "Thamai mai supob?!" or "mai supob mak mak!". That will usually embarrass them into shutting up. Essentially you need to assert that it is no more appropriate to ay such things about you than it would be to say them about a "decent" Thai woman. Some men, especially those of low education, assume that the normal social conventions don't apply to foreign women, and will do and say things they would never try with a Thai woman. Your task is to let them know the same rules do apply. Speaking Thai will help, as will letting other by-standers hear the exchange. If there are any older Thai women nearby, you can turn to them and complain about the rudeness as well. This will often mobilize some assistance on your behalf.

Failing to express any outrage may in fact feed wrong impressions. You'd be amazed at some of the things uneducated Thai men believe about Western women.

Note that this advice all pertains to public settings with plenty of people about. Alone on a dark street, best to just get out of there fast.

BTW I live in a remote rural area and have for many, many years.

Tham mai mai supob... Now what would that mean? Is it an Esan dialect?

Nobody here understand what it means, Thai people I mean...

I asked my neighbours in Phuket....

So Why are you not.....subop Tham mai mai subop.... This subop word nobody knows here...

Mai sue-parp = rude.

Ma-ra-yart sarm = even more rude.

Arai wa = W.T.F. did you just say.

[pkspeaker]

I was just reading this other thread, about a black woman that get's all this racist shit, thai women give her dirty looks, etc. now that's bad, racism.. and yet she endures that daily outrage and continues to live here, being a tolerant person

but here we pretty much have the opposite, a white woman and the rural thai people love her too much.. i think you need to count your blessings.. being mean to blacks is a problem in this society, being too nice to whites is NOT.. your not being harassed or even 'dehumanized' because thai people think white is attractive or high-society.

[Andre0720]

The looking and staring, as well as innocous remarks, the best thing to do is to say something pleasant in Thai, the sooner the better, it will stop them from talking about you and also remove some of the mystery --- Thais do tend to assume westerners can't speak their language.

Outright inappropriate remarks of a sexual nature (and unlike some of the men who replied here I do not for one second doubt that you are running into some 100% sexual harassment) - the best thing to do in my experience is to look outraged and disgusted and say very loudly: "Thamai mai supob?!" or "mai supob mak mak!". That will usually embarrass them into shutting up. Essentially you need to assert that it is no more appropriate to ay such things about you than it would be to say them about a "decent" Thai woman. Some men, especially those of low education, assume that the normal social conventions don't apply to foreign women, and will do and say things they would never try with a Thai woman. Your task is to let them know the same rules do apply. Speaking Thai will help, as will letting other by-standers hear the exchange. If there are any older Thai women nearby, you can turn to them and complain about the rudeness as well. This will often mobilize some assistance on your behalf.

Failing to express any outrage may in fact feed wrong impressions. You'd be amazed at some of the things uneducated Thai men believe about Western women.

Note that this advice all pertains to public settings with plenty of people about. Alone on a dark street, best to just get out of there fast.

BTW I live in a remote rural area and have for many, many years.

Tham mai mai supob... Now what would that mean? Is it an Esan dialect?

Nobody here understand what it means, Thai people I mean...

I asked my neighbours in Phuket....

So Why are you not.....subop Tham mai mai subop.... This subop word nobody knows here...

Mai sue-parp = rude.

Ma-ra-yart sarm = even more rude.

Arai wa = W.T.F. did you just say.

Thanks, got it.

Rude, impolite: mai soo phaap

Sue, or seuu, means to buy.

Thai language and the intonations....hummmm

[angelbat]

I am an American woman. I lived for 13 months in Thailand (Chiang Mai), and during that time traveled extensively (often in rural areas) around SE Asia and China. In my life I have also spent a great deal of time in remote parts of Mexico. I don't know how you normally dress, but.... My advice for traveling anywhere off the beaten path (or anywhere, really) is to be very mindful of the clothing you wear, and dress modestly. No shorts, short skirts, tank tops, low cut blouses etc. Essentially you want to dress so as not to attract attention to yourself. Keeping a low profile, not attracting attention to yourself, in any foreign country will go a long toward avoiding unwanted attention of all kinds. Sure you will attract some attention just because you are a foreigner, but not as much sexually oriented attention if you are dressed very modestly. Hope this helps.

Angela

[Boo]

sigh, this must have been on the newsletter.;

OK, to those not in the know..., in the ladies forum we have a ZERO tolerance policy to derogatory & offensive comments.

The OP asked for advice, not to be slagged off.

I have already issued a couple of suspensions & cleared up some twattish posts. If you have noting useful to say then go elsewhere.

[JacChang]

A few advices I would like to give regarding this matter.

I'm a guy. So less sexual intrusion, but I get the occasional teenage girl who wants to take a picture with me, maybe just to show their friends oh, they saw a falang or something. No loss there.

I also get the "celebrity attention" over these years in Thailand, especially 20 years ago, when Thailand was very much poor. The class system really stands out. As soon as I leave the front gate out to the public, people just immediately stare, and start saying something to the other person. "Oh, that person is who who who of which company." We are just different from them, from the way we look, to the way we dress. At first, it felt awkward, as if they are staring at an animal from the zoo lol. But that's the thing, they perceive you as different. What I do is, with my down to earth personality, is to try to balance this misconception. That, I, like them, as just humans, I am not better than them, and vice versa. Give them a smile, have a chat with them, get connected. In return I get is friendliness, and astoundment that I can get in touch with them.

1) Do not cherish this "celebrity status", never ever get too much attention in an area. This will cause you more trouble than gain. I cannot stress how important this is. Personally, I always keep a low profile, fast in, fast out. Never be the center of attention, it draws up quickly like ants. Sometimes you gotta lie too, I always say I am some poor somchai lol. Better to be humble.

2) Since you've been here only for a few months, I would suggest going out with friends or companions. Not alone. Like other posts have stated before, do not assume we are immortals in this country and nothing bad will ever happen. Bad things are just waiting at the corner, be prepared to prevent instead of allowing things to happen.

3) Be able to differentiate good contacts and bad contacts. Bad contacts, ignore absolutely, and just walk swiftly pass them. Hopefully to a more crowded and safer place. Never ever walk from a more crowded to a less crowded alley when a bad contact is detected. While some people suggest confronting bad contacts, I don't suggest you do so here. Men don't have as much code and honor as we are used to, they are capable of anything here. A simple walk away quickly is the best.

[IsaanUSA]

When you say you are a western woman, do you mean you are caucasian? Would a western woman of Asian descent be treated the same as a caucasian western woman?

[lioness]

Well Murphy

We are different aren't we, we are foreigners. I have lived in a rural town in Thailand for 11 years now, I've been through what you are talking about, so what, don't take it so personal, just smile, 4 months is nothing in the scheme of things they are still getting used to you.

[featography]

Thank you all for your replies, I appreciate them.

I do appreciate that the Thai people in general are only being friendly and culturally there is less social boundaries around taking about somebody or their appearance right in front of them and I guess maybe I do just need to grow a thicker skin!

Literally just after I posted, a Thai friend told me 'I love your hairy face and arms' (cheers!!!!!) I just laughed because she like a majority of Thai women want to alter their appearance and I like this is crazy for it and I realised that it was ok because my friend had said it, but if someone at the market say had said it I would have gotten upset immediately.

Gonna have a fresh view point from here on in and not let others dictate how I feel.

Thanks again

Thai respect higher education, and respect a woman that stands up for herself, especially if she speaks Thai. Let them know in Thai that you are educated and deserve to be treated with respect. Thai women married to farang have the same issues you expressed, because they are also stereotyped. My Thai wife has on many an instance, with little to no smile, let Thai men know that she has a higher education, is married to this farang, and will not accept their sexist comments. Every time this has happened, the guilty back down immediately, apologize profusely, often with wai. If you are polite and firm, you will get the respect you deserve. If you haven.t let them know you understand the language, then you will be treated like a temporary oddity here.

[geckolady23]

I really sympathise.

I think the following things will help, however disagreeable, odd, etc (in random order):

1. Dress modestly – sleeves, no cleavage, no thighs showing, and avoiding beach-bum style.

2. Do not smile or joke, as this is seen as acceptance. Uneducated folk really think no rules apply to foreign women, and in essence, they need to be taught otherwise. It's a drag, but that's how it is.

3. Be quiet, firm, dignified, like their head-teacher would be. EXPLAIN as you would to children.

4. Mention your job, your education especially

5. Speak Thai! Say, for example, “This is impolite - I am a teacher”.

6. If you have a Thai connection – boss, host family – mention they are your friends. The higher their social status, the better. Say that you will speak to them about these idiots, and ask for the idiots’ names. (Do not say the word "idiot" or anything like it, of course)

7. YES – use your phone to take their picture - unless they like the idea. this is only if they really are scary.

8. If they even seem a little drunk – forget it. Walk away, do not smile. They won’t listen, and most Thais think this lets everyone off the hook for anything, especially against white folk. lack of eye contact is crucial.

9. The locals and police always back each other – no rule of law there. Better to mention a well-known Thai family, than the police.

10. Do get back to me, if you want further contact. I’m in south Thailand, and have been here a few years. I have had experience with all of the above – and I am not young, so that’s really absurd!

11. A few months sounds like a lot, but this culture is so, so different than any European one, it takes years and years, and even then there are surprises, and walls, etc.

12. Sometimes I carry my Thai textbook with me, and ask them questions. "Please help me learn Thai". This sometimes puts things on a better level.

Sometimes...

best wishes to you and this adventure of yours!

[geckolady23]

I agree that if you go anywhere alone, it's problematic. They see that as really weird, like there's some reason no one wants to be around you - whereas we see it as fine.

Talk to some Thai females about this, and ask them to come with you whenever that works.

Ask them to teach you some of these phrases. Some may even help you explain, though that's tricky, and can be seen as them being disloyal to fellow Thais. That's nothing to do with you.

If they are hesitant, well, they are being loyal to their own people, or are embarrassed perhaps. Ask others, ask nicely, but keep asking for help. Say that you are unhappy, and need their help. keep asking. Many won't get it, but eventually some will. Again, these odds are a drag, but a fact.

Getting Thai support is the key, but that's hard, if you're new. Takes persistence.

again, hang in there. You will be doing a great service to world education, about how to treat other races and other genders with respect! hard jb, and we need as many on board as possible, in my opinion.

[Sheryl]

The looking and staring, as well as innocous remarks, the best thing to do is to say something pleasant in Thai, the sooner the better, it will stop them from talking about you and also remove some of the mystery --- Thais do tend to assume westerners can't speak their language.

Outright inappropriate remarks of a sexual nature (and unlike some of the men who replied here I do not for one second doubt that you are running into some 100% sexual harassment) - the best thing to do in my experience is to look outraged and disgusted and say very loudly: "Thamai mai supob?!" or "mai supob mak mak!". That will usually embarrass them into shutting up. Essentially you need to assert that it is no more appropriate to ay such things about you than it would be to say them about a "decent" Thai woman. Some men, especially those of low education, assume that the normal social conventions don't apply to foreign women, and will do and say things they would never try with a Thai woman. Your task is to let them know the same rules do apply. Speaking Thai will help, as will letting other by-standers hear the exchange. If there are any older Thai women nearby, you can turn to them and complain about the rudeness as well. This will often mobilize some assistance on your behalf.

Failing to express any outrage may in fact feed wrong impressions. You'd be amazed at some of the things uneducated Thai men believe about Western women.

Note that this advice all pertains to public settings with plenty of people about. Alone on a dark street, best to just get out of there fast.

BTW I live in a remote rural area and have for many, many years.

Tham mai mai supob... Now what would that mean? Is it an Esan dialect?

Nobody here understand what it means, Thai people I mean...

I asked my neighbours in Phuket....

So Why are you not.....subop Tham mai mai subop.... This subop word nobody knows here...

Not subop, supob (or supab, depending on how you want to transliterate the vowel sound) which means polite. Thamai mai supob? = Why so rude?

And Thais do indeed understand it. Everywhere. Maybe check your pronounciation.

I use the phrase quite a bit and find it highly effective. It is a way of saying "my standards are not different from yours and I am aware you are being impolite".

[Andre0720]

The looking and staring, as well as innocous remarks, the best thing to do is to say something pleasant in Thai, the sooner the better, it will stop them from talking about you and also remove some of the mystery --- Thais do tend to assume westerners can't speak their language.

Outright inappropriate remarks of a sexual nature (and unlike some of the men who replied here I do not for one second doubt that you are running into some 100% sexual harassment) - the best thing to do in my experience is to look outraged and disgusted and say very loudly: "Thamai mai supob?!" or "mai supob mak mak!". That will usually embarrass them into shutting up. Essentially you need to assert that it is no more appropriate to ay such things about you than it would be to say them about a "decent" Thai woman. Some men, especially those of low education, assume that the normal social conventions don't apply to foreign women, and will do and say things they would never try with a Thai woman. Your task is to let them know the same rules do apply. Speaking Thai will help, as will letting other by-standers hear the exchange. If there are any older Thai women nearby, you can turn to them and complain about the rudeness as well. This will often mobilize some assistance on your behalf.

Failing to express any outrage may in fact feed wrong impressions. You'd be amazed at some of the things uneducated Thai men believe about Western women.

Note that this advice all pertains to public settings with plenty of people about. Alone on a dark street, best to just get out of there fast.

BTW I live in a remote rural area and have for many, many years.

Tham mai mai supob... Now what would that mean? Is it an Esan dialect?

Nobody here understand what it means, Thai people I mean...

I asked my neighbours in Phuket....

So Why are you not.....subop Tham mai mai subop.... This subop word nobody knows here...

Not subop, supob (or supab, depending on how you want to transliterate the vowel sound) which means polite. Thamai mai supob? = Why so rude?

And Thais do indeed understand it. Everywhere. Maybe check your pronounciation.

I use the phrase quite a bit and find it highly effective. It is a way of saying "my standards are not different from yours and I am aware you are being impolite".

Well, I did check my prononciation..

It is:

Tham mai mai soo phaap

Or:

siia maa ra yaat

That, Thai people understand very well

[Andre0720]

The looking and staring, as well as innocous remarks, the best thing to do is to say something pleasant in Thai, the sooner the better, it will stop them from talking about you and also remove some of the mystery --- Thais do tend to assume westerners can't speak their language.

Outright inappropriate remarks of a sexual nature (and unlike some of the men who replied here I do not for one second doubt that you are running into some 100% sexual harassment) - the best thing to do in my experience is to look outraged and disgusted and say very loudly: "Thamai mai supob?!" or "mai supob mak mak!". That will usually embarrass them into shutting up. Essentially you need to assert that it is no more appropriate to ay such things about you than it would be to say them about a "decent" Thai woman. Some men, especially those of low education, assume that the normal social conventions don't apply to foreign women, and will do and say things they would never try with a Thai woman. Your task is to let them know the same rules do apply. Speaking Thai will help, as will letting other by-standers hear the exchange. If there are any older Thai women nearby, you can turn to them and complain about the rudeness as well. This will often mobilize some assistance on your behalf.

Failing to express any outrage may in fact feed wrong impressions. You'd be amazed at some of the things uneducated Thai men believe about Western women.

Note that this advice all pertains to public settings with plenty of people about. Alone on a dark street, best to just get out of there fast.

BTW I live in a remote rural area and have for many, many years.

Tham mai mai supob... Now what would that mean? Is it an Esan dialect?

Nobody here understand what it means, Thai people I mean...

I asked my neighbours in Phuket....

So Why are you not.....subop Tham mai mai subop.... This subop word nobody knows here...

Not subop, supob (or supab, depending on how you want to transliterate the vowel sound) which means polite. Thamai mai supob? = Why so rude?

And Thais do indeed understand it. Everywhere. Maybe check your pronounciation.

I use the phrase quite a bit and find it highly effective. It is a way of saying "my standards are not different from yours and I am aware you are being impolite".

Well, I did check my prononciation..

It is:

Tham mai mai soo phaap

Or:

siia maa ra yaat

That, Thai people understand very well

[Boo]

Why are you arguing over a phrase with someone who speaks fluent thai, lives in rural Thailand & has worked in the medical field IN Thailand for over 30 years, . It is as Sheryl says but unless you can read it in Thai transliteration this is pointless.

moving on.

[Grindting]

After living In asia for many years, I've come to the conclusion that asian men, perticularly countries like Thailand, India and Indonesia etc.. Are just dumb. On the whole they are dumb as <deleted>.

There are always exception to the rules, like well groomed office workers aren't going to whistle at you. But in general, they can't control themselves in any form and completely lack any decorum.

When they yell silly Bule or Farang at you as you walk past, or make some comment directed at my wife even though she's standing right next to me, usually I either ignore them if it's kids, but if not I'll turn to them and smile saying in either in thai or bahasa something like 'Lo pikir itu lucu?? Kelakuan lo kaya tai anjing aja sok ganteng, benerin dulu tuh otak idiot'. Which means do you think you're funny or cool for saying that, thinking I don't understand? You have the personality of a piece of dog shit, you have brain damage, go sort yourself out.' And all general levels of 'fck off'. Their friends usually burst out laughing and then make fun of the one who made the original comment. Pick your battles though as you don't want to end up face down in the river

[Greg Nixon]

Rude or obnoxious does not seem to be objectionable in South East Asia. Just look at the way many people drive for example. They do not intend to be rude or obnoxious, they are just driving. I honk loudly and give them the finger to show them that they are being rude. Thai people do not like being singled out when they are behaving badly. Consideration for others is not high on the agenda. My wife used to talk negatively about dark skin people in Thailand until I pointed out that I was white and she had much darker skin. I told her that the colour of ones skin makes no difference and to please stop referring to it. She did.

You must find a way of telling these people nicely that they are being rude without being overly rude or obnoxious yourself or feel free to be rude and obnoxious so they know how it feels.

I was standing in line for a cab in Shanghai. There were about 20 people in line. After waiting patiently my two lady friends and I had just gotten to the front of the line, when a man came charging from the back of the line to take the cab. Being polite I had allowed the two ladies to go in front of me. As the man was about to enter the front door of the cab the large lady grabbed him and took his place. The Asian man undeterred tried to get in the back seat. The second lady likewise ejected him. Although there was a language barrier, I am sure he understood. We laughed as we continued on our way but we were rather indignant about the incident.

[Grindting]

Rude or obnoxious does not seem to be objectionable in South East Asia. Just look at the way many people drive for example. They do not intend to be rude or obnoxious, they are just driving. I honk loudly and give them the finger to show them that they are being rude. Thai people do not like being singled out when they are behaving badly. Consideration for others is not high on the agenda. My wife used to talk negatively about dark skin people in Thailand until I pointed out that I was white and she had much darker skin. I told her that the colour of ones skin makes no difference and to please stop referring to it. She did.

You must find a way of telling these people nicely that they are being rude without being overly rude or obnoxious yourself or feel free to be rude and obnoxious so they know how it feels.

I was standing in line for a cab in Shanghai. There were about 20 people in line. After waiting patiently my two lady friends and I had just gotten to the front of the line, when a man came charging from the back of the line to take the cab. Being polite I had allowed the two ladies to go in front of me. As the man was about to enter the front door of the cab the large lady grabbed him and took his place. The Asian man undeterred tried to get in the back seat. The second lady likewise ejected him. Although there was a language barrier, I am sure he understood. We laughed as we continued on our way but we were rather indignant about the incident.

Classic. We were in shanghai just a month ago and almost the same thing happened to us. A line of 20 to 30 people and then the occasional group of ignorant <deleted> just decide to ignore the existence of the line and flag the cab down from the back and get in. The gormless cab driver just let's them get in and the security are too slow to act. Some Chinese in the queue scold the security for allowing it to happen but by that time it's a waste. Really annoying

But if you want to experience rude and unorganised chaos in regards to queues, try waiting in a taxi queue in kolkota, West Bengal.

We went to one of the new glassy malls and about 9:30pm were 'in line' to get a taxi home. Well the taxi's there crawl / cruise past the queue, asking people where they want to go, and if one is quick enough to agree they clamber over the barrier and get in, then those in front of the line go absolutely NUTS. One group literally grabbed a guys shirt through the window and tried to pull him out, he got out and there was a massive confrontation that almost got violent, and all the whole other people in the line were taking advantage of the security not paying attention due to the fight breaking out, and jumping over the barrier and jumping into taxi's out of turn. The security were really struggling to keep things in order, and what made me laugh was people who were screaming and shouting about queue jumpers, preceded to jump the queue themselves as soon as an opportunity arose. It was such chaos and absolute stupidity, I got involved with the screaming and shouting as well just for a laugh, especially when guys were grabbing other guys by the collars literally fighting to get in the taxi.

Well it was closing in on 10pm as we got to the front of the line, and there was a sign "taxi rank closes 10pm". And literally as we were the next in line, the security removed the barriers and ropes and disappeared! it became a free for all, and as the cabs were coming from the right (and the queue was from right to left originally) we were literally at the back of the newly formed mob of people.

I had to literally resort to throwing money at taxi drivers, by that I mean a group of people pushed us out of the way to get in the cab. I yelled the to driver through his window that we'd pay double to take us home (the oberoy), something like 300 rupees. He agreed, and literally dragged the group that originally charged us out the way out of the taxi by the Scruff of their necks. Was absolutely mental

[forumuser10]

I got sick of being called farang in my village,so i told them"you know my name,use it" and they did.

Hang in there mate.

Yes, this is so true. Thais are just as nice as any other people. If you tell them, please do not call me "farang" all the time. That is making us an object, dehumanizing us, they WILL understand and respect it. They stopped calling me this as well when told them

The problem is, so many of us calls ourselves "farang", and loves the attention of being the "other", so I argue that we ourselves put fuel on this fire by doing this.

Had we told them a long time ago, we prefer to not being the object, but rather a human. They would have stopped a long time ago.

[copa8]

Unfortunately there is no real remedy. Asian standards have a disturbing way of being one sided. If the same thing were to happen to a Thai (or just about any other East/Southeast Asian female) in a Western country they would be up in arms and it would be on the Thai evening news.

No they wouldn't be up in arms and be on the evening news. All of my Asian-American friends (female and male) have experienced sexual and racial insults/taunts from since they were kids. Doesn't matter if they were 2nd, 3rd or 4th generation Asian-Americans. They would always be consider foreigners, due to the "perpetual foreigners" stereotype.

[jamiesilver]

dont think about it too much - the men get harassed here too its not just us girls.
I think a lot of the time the Thais dont mean it to be harassment, they are just a bit rude by nature.
Take for example, if someone is fat they will call them fat in front on all their friends family and public.
They just have a lot less tact than we are used too.
If they say something nice even if it can feel derogatory, just let it go as being nice...
You will never blend in here - so the art of detachment is important.