Feeling uncomfortable as a western woman in rural Thailand

[IsaanUSA]

dont think about it too much - the men get harassed here too its not just us girls.

I think a lot of the time the Thais dont mean it to be harassment, they are just a bit rude by nature.

Take for example, if someone is fat they will call them fat in front on all their friends family and public.

They just have a lot less tact than we are used too.

If they say something nice even if it can feel derogatory, just let it go as being nice...

You will never blend in here - so the art of detachment is important.

That's not being rude though. It may be rude from where you come from, but it is normal activity where you are currently. Different culture.

[Patsycat]

It happens all over the World. I have lived here in Switzerland for over fourty years.

I had a woman that i know shout and swear at me to go home to your country the other day. Funny thing is she is French and lives here.....

I just said to her that i will go home when she does.

That shut the biatch up. And i know things about her that she doesnt realise that i know. And if i ever did go home at least i have a home to go to. she doesnt.

[champa]

Some of thai men, are rude to women. Even you are western or thai. Especially if you look pretty. They sometime only joking with their group. Do not be serious.

Actually I do not like the way they do. It is not about education. Some men in the university are a joking group. Always talk badly to the girl around. And when they can make girl shy. They feel funny, and laugh a lot.

Maybe it is about culture, gender sensitively. Thai men do not respect women.

By the way, I think if you know each other. Be friend with them. Keeping the distance. They could treat you more polite.

I am not sure what kind of work you do. But Thai respect teacher and doctor. So if you are in education or healthy area. They will respect and be polite to you.

Problem is Thai men think that western girl are free sex. So they think, first of all, western girl are more sexy by body look. Second, compare to Thai girl, flirt western girl are easier than thai.

Take good care of yourself. There are many other thing else you should be love in Thailand.

Good luck. and have good time here.

[nvrenoughbeer]

Not a lady, but having taught in Thailand for many years now I know what you mean on a certain level. Older Thai women especially some older Thai lady teachers tend to be a bit grabby or simply have stopped caring as you know all us farang men are horny for Thai women apparently is kind of the attitude I have experienced first hand. More than one of them grabbed my bum and didn't want to let go till I almost hit her in the face. I would have to say to you is this, there are both good and bad Thai men/women. Some have better manners than others. In small country villages, the male farmers and market workers generally are use to fondling, cat calling and other such forms of what most western women would consider back home grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit. However in Thailand, in the countryside especially men are few and far between to get a hold of for Thai women because the man to woman ratio there is usually very low. The women will resent you as they think your trying to steal all the men, the men think your the latest prostitute from bkk or something along those lines. Best bit of advice for you is, do not show much if any skin, get a tan(fake ones are available in a bottle unless you choose the natural line. this should neutralize the women's ire, and the men's desire a little bit.), learn to ignore them as if they are not there unless they pay you a compliment in which case if it was in a polite way acknowledge it, if it was a cat call, just keep walking pretend your talking on the phone or just got a text and focus on it like its the most interesting thing..maybe enough give a fake laugh..ect. In the big cities such as Chiang Mai, Bangkok you may get treated a little better as they have enough Farangs present for them to know that women/men don't appreciate being treated in that manner. (well some do I am sure.)

If you just can't stand being treated this way at all, then perhaps its time for you to return home. I am not saying this to be mean, I am only saying what is best for everyone. I have met other foreign teachers both from England and the US that have been here long enough to feel the way you do and then turn around and take it out on their fellow country men(I do mean men.), and it gets ugly and unpleasant for both them and the Thais to see that. You have to learn to grow a thicker skin and find ways of avoiding attention though sometimes its not possible as we are different from them by a lot. The old sayings of grin and bear it are not as easy to apply when its something so personal, but you do know the other option if you can no longer handle how you get treated. In bangkok if a fellow teacher who is male treats you in this way you can easily discuss the matter with them or your co-teacher..never the boss. If you go to a boss then it seems like your trying to get him in trouble over what culturally is a normal thing to him. It has changed in Bangkok, but its a very slow change and every school is different too. I have worked in a place that had daily harassment from both teachers and some of my older girl students. I have had to forcefully push away, and do everything including pull their hands away from the family jewels in an extreme case. So you are not alone in feeling a bit violated. All I can say is if the job is not providing enough of a rewarding experience for you, then just leave as its not worth it otherwise to stay and try to fight it out with them.