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A guy walks into an afternoon Bar in Pattaya (Soi "9x2/3") and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

Cheese Sandwich THB 250.00

Chicken Sandwich THB 300.00

Hand Job THB 200.00

Checking his wallet he finds one single tenner, he walks up to the Bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive girls serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man," are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am".

The man replies" Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich." :D

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A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea ....let's pretend we're married."

"Why not," giggles the woman.

"Good", he replies. "Get your own ###### blanket." :D

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Two married blokes are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage......... I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in bathroom, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and says "AND WHAT TIME TO DO YOU CALL THIS ?"......................

His mate looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, "How about a blow job??".....and she always sounds asleep. :D

*********************************

A man telephones his office and says, "Sorry, I can't come in to work today, I'm sick." "How sick are you?" asks his boss.

"Well," he replies, "I'm in bed with my sister." :o

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