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Posted

Leave with all your possession, sell the house and wish her all the best. She has made her choice. You should move on as well. My opinion.

Probably what I'll end up doing unless she comes around and understands the futility of her current thinking. I'm not sure from our conversation that she has really made a choice, it's not as clear cut in her mind and it would suck if I left without being sure, as we would loose what we have and the 'magic falang' probably wont be as magic as she has come to expect...

she'll loose the support I provide to both her and the family, and would become part of the bar scene with all the risks involved. She needs to stay with her mom as her care taker so the option of moving in with some new guy is out the question.

Like I said this is new and sudden and I'm looking at my options, leaving and starting over being one of them; with no mutual respect there is of course no possible relationship.

Thanks for the supportive comments.

Edit: I cant sell the house as it is directly attached to the mothers & on her land.

She is wavering between you and $$. Is that love? That kind of woman is not worth your love and concern. If you stick with someone who loves you lesser or no love, it will be very draining (psychologically) for you in the long run. It's better you find your happiness elsewhere. Life is short.

As for the house, since you can't sell... take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt.

Suk suk na!☺️

"take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt.

Suk suk na!☺️"

No idea what this means.

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Posted

Leave with all your possession, sell the house and wish her all the best. She has made her choice. You should move on as well. My opinion.

Probably what I'll end up doing unless she comes around and understands the futility of her current thinking. I'm not sure from our conversation that she has really made a choice, it's not as clear cut in her mind and it would suck if I left without being sure, as we would loose what we have and the 'magic falang' probably wont be as magic as she has come to expect...

she'll loose the support I provide to both her and the family, and would become part of the bar scene with all the risks involved. She needs to stay with her mom as her care taker so the option of moving in with some new guy is out the question.

Like I said this is new and sudden and I'm looking at my options, leaving and starting over being one of them; with no mutual respect there is of course no possible relationship.

Thanks for the supportive comments.

Edit: I cant sell the house as it is directly attached to the mothers & on her land.

She is wavering between you and $$. Is that love? That kind of woman is not worth your love and concern. If you stick with someone who loves you lesser or no love, it will be very draining (psychologically) for you in the long run. It's better you find your happiness elsewhere. Life is short.

As for the house, since you can't sell... take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt.

Suk suk na!☺️

"take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt.

Suk suk na!☺️"

No idea what this means.

Tamboon- doing merit.

Suk suk na- don't give up (cheering him on)

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Posted

I would make sure you clear out everything that you can for yourself, try to sell the house, car etc if you can and then when the new guy turns up, tell him everything and this will surely scare him away - as he will think that the girl will eventually do the same to him. The result will be that she loses you and your money and the other guys money as well. That will really teach her a lesson and be left with a lot less rather than more.

Posted

I am not familiar with the land laws in laos but you say you built the house but do not own the land and you seem to infer that your girl does not own the land either? Who does own the land? If you took a lease out and then built the house then the house would be yours, albeit not the land. You could send your girl away for a while with the Mother and while they are away, bring in a demolition company to completely flatten the house and leave her possessions outside in a tent. Job done and then disappear after you have put off the new boyfriend.

Posted

OP, was your wife already a prostitute when you met her or - to your knowledge - she only went

into that during your recent longish 4 months absence?

Either way, it is not unusual for younger women to fall for the lure of greener pastures the other

side of the fence.

Worldwide divorce/failure rates for marriages nears 50%, so just take it as s**t happens and

move on.

If you have to give up on whatever you have invested financially into this relationship, it is a

cheap price to pay. Emotionally it probably will be harder at the beginning, but it is not worth

wasting your life fighting for something that is clearly doomed.

Best of luck.

Posted

Leave with all your possession, sell the house and wish her all the best. She has made her choice. You should move on as well. My opinion.

Sell the house? There would be a terrible accident with the home if it were me in this situation...

Posted

somehow contacting the new victim, let him know he's following on from what you did to the fellow before you - setting up that she's a serial gold digger, and that he will not be the last...

this will be easy, considering you were convinced to marry her 'informally', which suggests you might not be the only one who has gone down that path with her...

Posted

or, maybe being a farang, you don't lose face like she will - and stay around to share the extra income...

... but it will then depend on for how long you can stand the forever increasing tone of wife that " you not enough money - I have to work"

Posted

yes be better to make your intentions clearer - but I see it as 'want out' , but with minimum 'collateral damage'?

p.s.anything you 'confide' or discuss with anyone around you there, will get back to her...

MIL seems to be favouring you - very embarrassing for her that it is all happening in her territory

Posted

Very sad to hear these stories again and again... At least she is honest? oh please...

If i were in your shoes and would first make sure the rich guy knows exactly ALL the facts, as it would be the noble thing to do.
Then i would file for divorce and fight til the bitter end to get 50% of what is yours.

But do be careful. Laos is pretty wild when they don't like foreigners.

Posted

You say that your house is connected and on the same plot of land to the family house.

Even if you were to leave on the day that the new guy is coming to visit, would your wife really bring him home to surprise her mother and family? I think not. What lie will she tell the guy in order to avoid this?

I would stay at home with the family, and tell her on no uncertain terms that if she goes to meet this guy, that your marriage has no chance of surviving.

If she chooses to disregard this and goes to meet him anyway, I would go and explain all to the mother and family so that they will not be surprised when the new guy shows up and when you are packing / heading out the door.

Posted

For f**ks sake man,grow some balls,you have 2 choices either tell you wife or gf what ever she is she cannot meet this american or tell her it's over and take what is yours and leave her with nothing,she will cream you till you have nothing left.This american is coming over to <deleted> your wife,Grow balls man,confront him and her together and tell them both have a happy life,and i am off BE A MAN NOT A DOORMAT

Posted

The fact that you're opening a topic like this and asking for suggestions is insane! You're no different from a pimp in the eyes of that American Man, and I hardly doubt he's rich and does business everywhere.

Posted

Why not kick the wife out & you stay with the family, use the house as a base, travel enjoy yourself, the wife will bring herself undone or wake up & come crawling home.

regards songhklasid.coffee1.gif

Posted

On 2014-09-10 13:18:38 the OP said:
"The man in question wants to come visit in two weeks (wife hasn't told him about me), to see how she lives, meet the family (?), and i have difficulty seeing how this would work out, unless of course I left which I am not prepared to do at this point given my investment in both time and money, and the fact that everyone gets along well."

It's been 2 weeks. Has he shown up OP? What's the latest?

Posted

Option 1

It's against the law for a Lao woman to sleep in a room with a man she is not married.

Wait till she's with him then report her to the police.

Option 2

Burn the house down and run.

Option 3

Move on to one of the sisters (or mom)

Option 4

Walk away, and think of all the money you no longer have to send her.

Option 5

PM us all naked pictures of her.

I was actually thinking of that option 1 too, someone else beat me to it tho

living in Laos? definitely an option.

gets rid of one (two?) problems

Posted

Option 1 can fly back in your face:

If you are not officially married, she could payback by dobbing you in too for having her sex while not being officially married

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