Thaivisa brothers, help me...the inlaws are coming!

[NoshowJones]

Sorry to be of no help but when my inlaws come to town they bring goodies from home and help me drink through every real ale and craft beer available in the Kingdom....and some they bring with them. I'm really sad they can't come for Christmas this year

The joys of bringing your wife with you from your home country

To the OP. One thing for sure, forget about making any rules, even though you like your own space, surely you want to make them welcome for your wifes sake. If some of your family was coming to Thailand to visit you and your wife, surely you would want your wife to welcome them.

[benalibina]

I worship my wife's family, especially her Mum and Dad. Ok. it has taken me over a decade of misunderstandings to get to this point. But it has been worth every minute.

The decade of misunderstandings or worshipping ?

5 years of misunderstanding, followed by 5 years of worship. Suddenly the "switch" happened. Hard to explain.

I would love to read about the worshipping part though....sounds interesting.

[wombat]

admit defeat

[sipi]

I worship my wife's family, especially her Mum and Dad. Ok. it has taken me over a decade of misunderstandings to get to this point. But it has been worth every minute.

The decade of misunderstandings or worshipping ?

5 years of misunderstanding, followed by 5 years of worship. Suddenly the "switch" happened. Hard to explain.

I would love to read about the worshipping part though....sounds interesting.

Washing your wife's parents and grandparents feet at Songkran. I'm not religious, but I found this very emotionally stimulating. Attending the temple with your wife's family. I have just learnt to love my in-laws for who they are. They ask for nothing. Please excuse me if I am wrong.

[Chang_paarp]

Do you walk around the house naked?

[donmuang37]

Decide on the rules and then it's your wife's job to manage her family. My job is to manage any of my friends or family who visit.

Sooo... set the rules with your wife in advance, be sure she understands, and stick with it. BUT, be sure that your rules are reasonable for Thailand; don't expect them to act like falangs. I agree with those who said, hide (or remove from the house) valuables, or items of sentimental value.

When we moved from the States, I laid down four rules:

1. I'm not a bank so I don't lend money. If you want a loan, go to your bank. (In case of genuine need, I may GIVE money - so then I don't expect it back and don't get upset about failure to pay back.)

2. I'm not Hertz or Avis, so you can't borrow my car. If I'm free and want to drive you someplace, I will. Otherwise, you need to find your own transportation.

3. Do not come to my house without calling first to see if it is convenient for us.

4. Never, ever, walk into my house. Knock or ring bell and wait for us to come to the door to let you in.

Final tip: Keep the air conditioning set a low as you can stand it. Tell them your doctor has ordered you to set it low, so you can't change it. Works for me! They won't stay very long. :-)

Good luck!

[jamhar]

One word.

Bolivia!

Leave today

[wvavin]

Mate, I understand the ordeal you are going to face real soon but take it positively. If you avoid them then ask yourself how many times you can do this. I would suggest you take stock of those valuable to you or fragile enough to be meddled with and keep them in a safer place. This is also a time not to be pretentious, just be what you are. If you feel there is a financial strain, just be very honest to your wife and I am very sure she knows how to manage the situation. Bear in mind they are your seniors or rather the in-laws therefore respect must be there. As you have mentioned they are country people so do not expect too much in term of strict social manners to a certain extend. However, country people are more honest and simple. Please stay positive. Good luck mate!

[iReason]

"Is it about laying down ground rules from the get go?"

But, sounds a bit too late for that.

I'd take inventory before they arrive, and before they leave...

[wow64]

Tell your wife you had a bad dream about a ghost woke up and a ghost told you someone will die if they come..it will get to the family.

[Pii Kate]

Really? A week out from the visit and you are already worked up over it. You might be in a complete frenzy by the time they get to your house. You didn't say how long they will be staying.

You took the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl. For your wife's sake, grin and bare it. Show all what a gracious host you can be.

[angiolo]

Simple solution.Leave and find a new girlfriend. I did and now have a more pretty and active wpoman in my bed.

[angiolo]

Simple solution.Leave and find a new girlfriend. I did and now have a more pretty and active wpoman in my bed.

[krisb]

C'mon mate....

We've all been there in one way or another....

Harden the fk up soldier.

[amarka]

If you cant beat them join them. Make sure your fridge is fully stocked and make sure they have plenty to eat too. Join in the fun and become the family hero, instead of sulking and making them feel unwelcome. You will earn some valuable brownie points from your wife....!!!

[krisb]

Simple solution.Leave and find a new girlfriend. I did and now have a more pretty and active wpoman in my bed.

Awesome job mate!

Can't wait for post 15.

[geronimo]

Put away anything you don't want them to touch and grin and bear it! However hard it is, the day when they leave will fast approach.

[thhMan]

Your the man of the house.

Set some rules and show them that you demand the same respect that you give them.

Limit the visitors to x amount and for x days.

Over time they will bitch less about it and you may find yourself some respect that wasnt there before

I did it.. it was hell the first time.. there is less bitching and they dont take advantage of my wifes good nature anymore

Edited October 9, 2014 by thhMan

[claynlr]

Hang these up all round your property....

ebola.jpg

Now that's some funny sh_t!!!!!!

[buhi]

Decide on the rules and then it's your wife's job to manage her family. My job is to manage any of my friends or family who visit.

Sooo... set the rules with your wife in advance, be sure she understands, and stick with it. BUT, be sure that your rules are reasonable for Thailand; don't expect them to act like falangs. I agree with those who said, hide (or remove from the house) valuables, or items of sentimental value.

When we moved from the States, I laid down four rules:

1. I'm not a bank so I don't lend money. If you want a loan, go to your bank. (In case of genuine need, I may GIVE money - so then I don't expect it back and don't get upset about failure to pay back.)

2. I'm not Hertz or Avis, so you can't borrow my car. If I'm free and want to drive you someplace, I will. Otherwise, you need to find your own transportation.

3. Do not come to my house without calling first to see if it is convenient for us.

4. Never, ever, walk into my house. Knock or ring bell and wait for us to come to the door to let you in.

Final tip: Keep the air conditioning set a low as you can stand it. Tell them your doctor has ordered you to set it low, so you can't change it. Works for me! They won't stay very long. :-)

Good luck!

Air conditioning! Where are you at? Even in our house where air conditioning is available in every room, it is used sparingly and never in the daytime. Thai care about air conditioning? Get real!

Edited October 9, 2014 by buhi

[The Usual Suspect]

I love my in-laws. They're a goofy, hard working, fun loving bunch. Any time they want to visit, I take it as an honor that they feel comfortable enough to come. Perhaps you might try a different tack. Try not to look at their visit as a barbarian invasion. Their lifestyle and customs may not be your cup of tea but after all, they are putting out the effort to visit and spend time with you. I've found that being generous, kind, and accommodating when my in-laws come to visit has earned their respect bordering on admiration. Whenever my wife and I reciprocate with a visit to their homes they treat me like a true member of the family and, even though they are poor, offer me first class hospitality. Your experience may be good or bad, but how you handle it will definitely influence the outcome.

[Cypress Hill]

Move, go on holiday, or run; preferably all three!

Bolox to all that . . .

Your wife knows how you feel about this so she should respect your concerns

With that in mind, think of a number you want to limit the visitors to. Tell that number to your wife and get her to pass it on to the family

Your gaff, your rules.

[vogie]

Lock all the doors and turn off the lights, if that fails I have a Des O'Conner LP you can borrow.

[perconrad]

I love my in-laws. They're a goofy, hard working, fun loving bunch. Any time they want to visit, I take it as an honor that they feel comfortable enough to come. Perhaps you might try a different tack. Try not to look at their visit as a barbarian invasion. Their lifestyle and customs may not be your cup of tea but after all, they are putting out the effort to visit and spend time with you. I've found that being generous, kind, and accommodating when my in-laws come to visit has earned their respect bordering on admiration. Whenever my wife and I reciprocate with a visit to their homes they treat me like a true member of the family and, even though they are poor, offer me first class hospitality. Your experience may be good or bad, but how you handle it will definitely influence the outcome.

I love my mother in-law and all the sisters and brothers,too. Every time they visit us or we visit them we have a good time together.

I do not understand, so many have problems with the family visiting.

[bigjules007]

Im so glad I married an orphan.

[Don Aleman]

As your wife is apparently a dog, this, this is probably, your only and last possible chance to dump her and family. But, you might think, what about my house. fry pan, dog, etc. and that may turn out to be a blessing as they will consider them a blessing as you are no longer there ! Dump her ? ?, No, no dump yourself - get the hell out of there leaving no trace and, brother, believe me when I say it will be the best decision you ever made.

[pgrahmm]

I love my in-laws. They're a goofy, hard working, fun loving bunch. Any time they want to visit, I take it as an honor that they feel comfortable enough to come. Perhaps you might try a different tack. Try not to look at their visit as a barbarian invasion. Their lifestyle and customs may not be your cup of tea but after all, they are putting out the effort to visit and spend time with you. I've found that being generous, kind, and accommodating when my in-laws come to visit has earned their respect bordering on admiration. Whenever my wife and I reciprocate with a visit to their homes they treat me like a true member of the family and, even though they are poor, offer me first class hospitality. Your experience may be good or bad, but how you handle it will definitely influence the outcome.

I not only like this I can echo these experiences......

My wife is the one that includes - or doesn't - different members of the family for different venues...kind of tailors the interests for everyone according to what each enjoys (right down to who gets car sick and who doesn't & routes/places accordingly)....this probably enhances the enjoyment for everyone (especially since I do not have that insight)...it's not always the same ones in or excluded so I have to guess she does it well.....she always looks after my interests and enjoyment first as best I can tell and always has 1-2 or 3 "programs" - choices along with a good understanding/explanation of each.....by my choice she's been our "day planner" for places and events (family and otherwise) and she takes/does it joyfully/seriously....

Edited October 9, 2014 by pgrahmm

[brianb1944]

Count yourself lucky - at least you got a weeks notice.

Normally i find out the day before but only if i spot the tell tale sign of my wife cleaning the bathroom herself.

You need to train the wife better mate!

Tried that - suggested she didn't use a dirty rag to clean kitchen worktop so now she just uses her sweeping brush after doing the floor.

[Thakkar]

Brothers, how have you coped with similar situations? Is it about laying down ground rules from the get go? Or do I just sit back and admit defeat early doors?

Lie back, close your eyes, and think of England. When they leave, you can clean up and pretend it never happened and forever henceforth avert Mrs. PP's direct gaze.

But seriously...

Be the best host that you can be. "Grengchai" will ensure they will be the best guests that they know how to be. Mrs. PP will gain enormous face and will love you long time better than any bar girl ever could.

This assumes of course that your inlaws aren't a bunch of complete dicks, which I'm sure they're not.

I usually follow the dog's lead: she's friendly, playful and inviting, but has a few very clear red lines, like *nobody* touches her favorite cushion and boy I get to order her off the sofa.

Good luck.

T

[Aussieroaming]

You mentioned the perfect solution in the thread. Pack your bags, fill the esky and head up-country to the in- laws place. The word on the street is that they will be in Hua Hin for a summer holiday.