Is this common in Thailand?

[umbanda]

Weeks ago I was with my wife in a house party and had a convesation with a young woman. She was with her new boyfriend.

She was in her 40s, very beautiful, owner of an Internet game shop. We were talikng about travel and local investments. Because she owns about 15 million in properties and seems fairly educated and traveled, I asked about her education, work, family, etc.

She responded that she quited high school, and her family is a modest farmer's family.

When I asked how she got into the real estate business, she responded very casually that she had a rich older lover when she was in her twenties, a married public official, living in other province, and coming to visit her few times a month. She only worked in her parents farm, until she met that man. Never worked again. She also said that her 25 years older lover bought for her and her family farming land, her business, her house, and her brand new car, and paying for all her expenses and trips for more than 15 years, until he got sick and die living with his family.

I was not surprised than an older married lover will spend a lot of money with a beautiful young girl, but I was surprised by how casually she was talking about, like was something very normal and common, and openly accepted by family and friends.

Situations like that in western countries, usually are very private affairs, and not told to somebody just met.

If this is really common here, I can understand why is also common for Thai women, specially the beautiful and young ones, to expect and demands a lot of "maintenance" money for an older farang lover or husband...

Edited November 15, 2014 by umbanda

[Costas2008]

I wish I could find a woman to take care of all my financial needs and I would have told the whole world.

But for the moment........I keep dreaming...............

[Mr Wimpy]

I think very common

[AYJAYDEE]

Yes. Mia nois are very common

[NancyL]

Yes, this is very common. My husband is friends with some Thai university professors and government officials. Most of them have mia nois and don't understand why he doesn't have one. They point out that we live in Chiang Mai, so it's very convenient for him to become the "mentor" of a university student, almost as a charity project. They say it's convenient here because the university students graduate and move on. None of that inconvenience of them staying in your life for more than 3 or 4 years and you have a good feeling of knowing you've helped a young doctor or dentist get started on her career. Since he's an engineer, they offered to introduce him to some engineering students, so he could "help them with their thesis research and thesis" Yeah, right.

Edited November 15, 2014 by NancyL

[Patsycat]

I have an image of Nancy on the rampage with her rolling pin....

[elgordo38]

Reminds me of a Nancy Sinatra song something about boots.

[howerde]

Not that unusal, i would say, tthe main difference is Thai guys know the deal, Foreigners take the smiles and sweet talk as love and genuine feelings,

[NancyL]

Yeah, Hubby was asking if our budget could take on an expenditure of an extra 25 - 30,000 baht/month or so for him to take up a "new hobby" of helping Thai college students. That's how his Thai friends coached him to explain to me where the money would be going. We both had a good laugh. Hubby says he has enough drama with one woman in his life, he can't image managing two.

Edited November 16, 2014 by NancyL

[umbanda]

Yeah, Hubby was asking if our budget could take on an expenditure of an extra 25 - 30,000 baht/month or so for him to take up a "new hobby" of helping Thai college students. That's how his Thai friends coached him to explain to me where the money would be going. We both had a good laugh. Hubby says he has enough drama with one woman in his life, he can't image managing two.

Dear Nancy.

If for your husband will take just 25000thb/month to have a "new hobby" in his life, better for you to we aware of his extra expenses.. But 15 millions, even during many years, is another history.

[Baerboxer]

Yes, this is very common. My husband is friends with some Thai university professors and government officials. Most of them have mia nois and don't understand why he doesn't have one. They point out that we live in Chiang Mai, so it's very convenient for him to become the "mentor" of a university student, almost as a charity project. They say it's convenient here because the university students graduate and move on. None of that inconvenience of them staying in your life for more than 3 or 4 years and you have a good feeling of knowing you've helped a young doctor or dentist get started on her career. Since he's an engineer, they offered to introduce him to some engineering students, so he could "help them with their thesis research and thesis" Yeah, right.

Similar experience Nancy. A uni professor introduced me to his mia noi and then asked what type of ladies I prefer. He was sure his mia noi would have some friends who she could introduce me too. They think it a little odd that I politely decline.

[wwest5829]

"Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore". When I first arrived for retirement, my idea was to experiment to see what the different female relationships would bring. In the end, for me, I wanted one traditionally raised Thai girl and that is what I have. But...one relationship was with a university student in another province. She had been with a wealthy, married Thai man but he had switched partners. Unfortunately, two things got in the way. I was the first Farang so there was all that cultural differences thing and then there was the experience with being with a wealthy man. I could offer a comfortable but not spoiled level of support. After one month and half that month's budget, well.

[wwest5829]

Yes, this is very common. My husband is friends with some Thai university professors and government officials. Most of them have mia nois and don't understand why he doesn't have one. They point out that we live in Chiang Mai, so it's very convenient for him to become the "mentor" of a university student, almost as a charity project. They say it's convenient here because the university students graduate and move on. None of that inconvenience of them staying in your life for more than 3 or 4 years and you have a good feeling of knowing you've helped a young doctor or dentist get started on her career. Since he's an engineer, they offered to introduce him to some engineering students, so he could "help them with their thesis research and thesis" Yeah, right.

As a retired professor, you can understand, my wife is very sensitive to any talking with pretty university students. " but Honey, I just want to help". Forget, replies she. Anyway, my wife is taking university classes. I am trying to convince her to get a uniform but have been unsuccessful thus far!

[OmarZaidMD]

Monogamy is highly un-natural ....

[wvavin]

Its an offer and acceptance. Very common in Thailand especially in upcountry region.

[mihalis]

Its common, but all over the world.. Seen it everywhere.. Not only Thailand..

[Just1Voice]

I know 3 young women, late 20's, all beautiful, come from dirt poor families, live in million dollar houses with expensive cars. All are mia noi, and seem quite content with the situation.

[truckerjoe]

Thirty years ago while living in Spain, I met a very beautiful Thai girl, she invited me to accompany her to an upmarket night club in Marbella,

We had a great time there but I was a little more than surprised when she insisted on paying for everything that evening,

we ended up back at her very classy upmarket apartment in Marbella,

The next morning I asked her what she did for a living, she replied that she did not work but had a rich older guy in Madrid who paid for her apartment, and car

and gave her a generous allowance, I asked how often they met considering the distance separating them, she replied once or twice a month when he could get away from

his work and family. I was surprised she told me so much so soon, but I got the impression she was quite proud about the arrangement she had.

I visited her many times over the next 12 months until I had to return to the UK.

[godden]

i wondered why i was getting older and my wife was getting richer.

[garyinhuahin]

I'm told that traditionally, such a relationship is considered quite equitable, each party providing what they have the most of: Youth and beauty in the one case and money and worldly savvy at the other. I'm going to guess that your wealthy Thai lady not only got property from her lover, but coaching on how to parly it into yet more property.

Likewise, Thais think it's perfectly natural that an older person would wish the company of a younger person and that a younger person might take an older lover for the financial and other benefits, and that people might have relationships outside a marriage without sacrificing the marriage itself.

[khunPer]

Not unusual at all - heard about many cases like that...

[slipperylobster]

Yes, this is very common. My husband is friends with some Thai university professors and government officials. Most of them have mia nois and don't understand why he doesn't have one. They point out that we live in Chiang Mai, so it's very convenient for him to become the "mentor" of a university student, almost as a charity project. They say it's convenient here because the university students graduate and move on. None of that inconvenience of them staying in your life for more than 3 or 4 years and you have a good feeling of knowing you've helped a young doctor or dentist get started on her career. Since he's an engineer, they offered to introduce him to some engineering students, so he could "help them with their thesis research and thesis" Yeah, right.

That must of been quite a great "feeling". I love happy endings.

[In Search of Space]

Gosh, this has been an eye-opener, every time I see an older Thai gentleman with a younger girl, I thought what a nice man, taking his daughter out

[umbanda]

"Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore". When I first arrived for retirement, my idea was to experiment to see what the different female relationships would bring. In the end, for me, I wanted one traditionally raised Thai girl and that is what I have. But...one relationship was with a university student in another province. She had been with a wealthy, married Thai man but he had switched partners. Unfortunately, two things got in the way. I was the first Farang so there was all that cultural differences thing and then there was the experience with being with a wealthy man. I could offer a comfortable but not spoiled level of support. After one month and half that month's budget, well.

Well..... I do not understand why so many farangs here are complaining that Thai women just are looking for money and financial support, if that kind of situation, formal or casual, is accepted casually by family, friends, and everyone else. A Thai "custom". Probably, Thai women even feels proud in to be with the most rich lover and supporter, and that may be more important than any other reason when chosing for a husband too. May be their parents and closer family feels good that their girl have a rich supporter, even if it is a lovers or married man. If that is true, farangs "in love", will suffer....sooner or later, when money runs out or when wife or girlfriend meet somebody richer.

I am a romantic dreamer....and poor, but also a follower of Vinicius de Moraes lirics..." Love....to be eternal...while last ".

Best philosophy for Thailand?

Edited November 16, 2014 by umbanda

[Gillyflower]

I'm quite upset by this subject. Fancy, at my age, to find out what a fool I was so many years ago. Ah, if I could only live my life over knowing what I have just found out.

[elgenon]

I had a bar girl visit and she told me her 22 YO neice has been living w a 64 YO American for 4 years. Just said t matter-of-factly when I asked ages. Got me to thinking that some guys on TV decry such a thing but this Thai lady was happy for them.

[Jaggg88]

Its common, but all over the world.. Seen it everywhere.. Not only Thailand..

Yes but as the OP was saying, they talk openly about it without any reticence.

[smotherb]

Some of you really seem surprised, which amazes me. The world over older, well-heeled men, and women, seek out extracurricular activities with a younger partner. In many Western countries such a dual household arrangement may be too expensive for the average successful mature person--e.g., try supporting a mia noi in Birmingham on B25k/mo. However, in Eastern economies such sums are livable and many young women and men avail themselves to older partners for such remuneration.

[ggt]

very normal and common...indeed this scenario is both common and normal...

The juicy gossip is also a common Thai trait...

Daily life for a beautiful Thai girl is a living Thai Soap Opera...

[mrfaroukh]

Why you think almost all Thai ladies you meet look for the same thing? They easily talk to each other and even tell how much she is getting from the lover etc.