Abuse against women in Thailand on the rise: study

[BritManToo]

If you think hitting your spouse/significant other is "acting like a man," then you're reinforcing toxic masculinity. And that's exactly the problem to begin with! Of course it's unacceptable for either partner to assault the other, but the very fact you phrased it as you did demonstrates how deep the issue runs, and why ultimately it is our violent understanding of masculinities (plural, btw, because of sociocultural contexts) which needs to be addressed.

The sad thing about this forum, is that somehow it has become populated over the years with the worst examples of foreigners you're going to find anywhere. They've successfully bullied more interesting or intelligent people away some time ago, and now it's basically the same alcoholics and abusers who reinforce each other here every day. And yeah, they get very upset if there is ever a mention of women's rights, or any subject which touches the wrong nerve with them. Basically, these are guys who couldn't make it at home, so they came here to abuse people and imagine themselves superior. Of course not everyone here at all, but there's a clique majority who definitely try to assert this view that it is their right.

I shouldn't even be looking, as I promised myself I wouldn't anymore, until the day they posted some actual visa information again (which they never seem to anymore).

If you're a man hater, Thailand isn't a good place to be.

[elgordo38]

Yes violence and physical abuse is a terrible thing but something I find more terrible is the way Thai men love em and leave em usually with children. My last g/f had no contact with her father as he walked out shortly after her younger sister was born and I understand this is quite common in Thailand with no support payments. He left for Bangkok and started a second family. This had caused her mental problems and she would often end the day by crying saying she missed her father. Her mother single handedly raised the two girls by running a store getting up at 5 a.m. and closing at 11.00 p.m. 7 days a week. Even a lot of animals mate for life.

[BritManToo]

If women, who are largely responsible for raising the generations of young males, speak to said young males on this level ("...you poor baby!"), then perhaps it is no wonder young males grow into adult males and don't give a rip about women's rights... because the abuse they suffered growing up is a pot ready to boil over on the next woman who triggers their pent up emotion.

What I am suggesting, and what I think needs a second look, is that women reconsider their role in raising young males, and perhaps perform better in understanding the proper upbringing of young males, so that when they reach adulthood, they are equipped with the elements of behavior that women desire most.

But please, in respectfully addressing your other rants, do not take responsibility for "getting to keep the children", or "being abandoned with the children", and then forfeit your responsibilities and go out with those "burdens" under your care, and raise a damaged product, and then condemn it.

Just my take on a few perspectives.

Good points there CoC,

Maybe the court should award men 100% custody of the children for a few generations and see if things start getting better.

So far the women don't seem to be satisfied with the results they are producing.

What was that quote in Fight Club,

"We are a generation of men raised by women. Im wondering if another woman is the answer we really need."[/size]

Lots of discussion on womens failures as mothers causing social disaster (and domestic violence)

http://alpha-lifestyle.blogspot.com/2010/02/generation-of-men-raised-by-women.html

Edited November 28, 2014 by BritManToo

[forumuser10]

Yes violence and physical abuse is a terrible thing but something I find more terrible is the way Thai men love em and leave em usually with children.

We always put the blame on the males.

The thing is, and this what most people do not understand. That is, it takes TWO to tango.

You see some girls they constantly end up with bad partners, they choose the wrong partner everytime, and some other girls they end up with a very good partner at first try.

Females have EQUAL responsibility to choose a good male partner to sleep with, than guys who wants to have a stable loving non cheating wife.

No matter how much many of you are always biased to view the female as an innocent victim, and the male as the evil abuser, you need to start to see the real world as it is. And hold adult females as equally responsible for the choice they make, as we would, a guy.

That is TRUE equality.

[slipperx]

For some that maybe true but not for everyone.

How about if we say that it's often true 'enough', that maybe you should stop whining about how abused you are as a foreigner in Thailand?

Well I think if you have been abused and that abuse continues, then I think it gives one a right to comment. You have you opinion based on your mindset and your experience and your opinions and I am having a different experience. Maybe we should agree that we both have different experiences that have formed different opinions.

Women are badly treated by some men and some men are badly treated by women. Neither is acceptable. Neither is discrimination acceptable especially when the authorities support it albeit not in an overt way.

[Mandymarg]

Domestic violence knows no boundaries it crosses age, class, gender and geographical boundaries. In the UK one in four women will experience D.V.at some time and one woman a week dies as a result of it.This is despite advances made in recent years investing more money in refuges, outreach work and allowing the police to press charges against the perpetrator even if the abused person is too scared to do so due to the repercussions.

It is not only men who are the perpetrators of D.V. although statistics show that 90% of those abused are women in a heterosexual relationship. this may not reflect the true figure as many men are too shame to admit violation due to the stigma.

domestic violence is not only physical violence towards another it also concerns sexual, financial, mental and psychological abuse

Although there have been advances in the UK in recent years to combat DV it remains a growing problem worldwide and will only cease when society wakes u p and starts treating people as humans rather than commodities. I worked for many years in the UK in the field of domestic violence and although it is 'supposedly' a civilised western society it was not until 1973 that the first refuge was opened. I was speaking to a woman in Khon Kaen this week who works in this field and am happy to see it is beginning to be treated with the gravity it deserves. Many of us have experienced domestic violence in our lives and it is also up to us individually to break the 'cascade of dysfunction' and ensure the abused does not become the abuser.

[BritManToo]

It is not only men who are the perpetrators of D.V. although statistics show that 90% of those abused are women in a heterosexual relationship. this may not reflect the true figure as many men are too shame to admit violation due to the stigma.

domestic violence is not only physical violence towards another it also concerns sexual, financial, mental and psychological abuse

The police refuse to record many reports from men.

I tried it once (2009 UK), and was told to 'go away and grow some' by the desk sergeant.

Absolute flat out refusal to allow me to file a report.

Edited November 28, 2014 by BritManToo

[bangon04]

I can't really believe that abuse is on the rise in Thailand, given the traditional way Thai society looks at women. For example if an unmarried couple has a child, from legal point the sole responsibility for the child lies with the mother, father can just walk away without any repercussions.

My interpretation is that the abuse is decreasing because Thai society as a whole is coming closer to sound ethical and moral values (long way still to go). The appearance of increasing abuse is only because more and more woman have the courage to report it.

Yes an increase in the reporting of abuse is an indication of the willingness to fight abuse. It could be seen as an improvement in national attitude towards abuse, which makes it less easy to get away with in future.

[cup-O-coffee]

Regrettably, we men and women seem to be getting the treatment from our governments, doctors, social workers, lawyers, judges, hate organizations, and the like. The agenda seems to be to treat the symptoms just enough to keep them going, but do not by any means target the cure; ...for if the cure were to be targeted, the number of people who would be out of jobs, or simply told to shut the f%#k up, as well as the amounts of money that could be better served elsewhere (with more sincere people) would be astronomical.

Another thing to perhaps consider is that not only are male children primarily raised by women (in a women's world) in their first ten or so years, but so are female children primarily raised by women (in a women's world) in their first ten or so years. Go figure!

The mother and any other women in the environment of that child's upbringing has a very strong impact on the child's development: how they see themselves and the world around them. So, unless women out there can refute this, and prove that it is the men who primarily raise children in any society (barring the exceptions), then I would suggest that we go deeper than vague and ambiguous reports of abuse, and begin to look in to the possibilities of where our deep seated problems originate from, and who is responsible for this. Who is responsible for the way kids these days are turning out, and the reasons why men today are the way they are.

Yes, the OP is about abuse being on the rise in Thailand, but if we simply take it at face value, then we have gained nothing more than another sob session for women, and another laughing session for the men. This does not promote healing if one party feels they are being used as nothing more than cannon fodder by the other side. What this does instead is to build walls and barrier to healing, as well as to fill the coffers of scumbag vampires who need to nurture and groom "messed-up" people to feed off of.

Edited November 28, 2014 by cup-O-coffee

[wilcopops]

BritManToo's view in a nutshell:

My response:

or...

"people are always going on about the poor in society.....what about the RICH??? they have problems too you know!" - (my heart bleeds)

[cup-O-coffee]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

My sad reality is to ALLOW domestic abuse if i see it in public. I am amazed that I said this, but it's true. I've seen too many farang beat up very, very badly when interfering. So am I part of the problem?

Never interfere in a fight between Thais even if its a woman involved, worst case scenario, they both attack you together.

Thais are unpredictable, make no mistake, their smile don't mean they like you or want to be your friend.

One time in my building, this French guy was just beating the ____ out of this tiny Thai girl at 4am, and I went running outside - half the guy's size at that - to try to stop him somehow, at least with reason. And to my shock, this Thai girl stopped and calmly waited for him to come back and they could go at it again. It was very disheartening!

That doesn't mean she 'deserved' it, or any of the typical things you'll hear men say. Because it's in her background that she's used to this, and that's the part she doesn't deserve, to be conditioned to accept this treatment. But it was eye opening for me.

With all due respect John1thru10:

One time, as I was sitting on a bench, this Thai toddler was beating the ____ out of his mother's face. She just took it, yapping at him at 200 decibels. Finally she had had enough and clobbered him on the face. Dragging him by his arm back into the shop, with him wailing, and her still going full on at 200 decibels, I could only shake my head in wonder and disgust. Who was in the right and who was expected to be anything but a kid?

Now that does not mean that the kid did not deserve it, or any typical thing you'll hear a Thai mother say about her son ("I just couldn't control him"). Because it's in a child's background, with this treatment, that he is used to this, and that is the part he does not deserve, to be conditioned to accept this treatment until one day the Bull Ox realizes the tether is only made of cotton. But it was eye-opening for me: to know I was witnessing a scene from the future.

[cup-O-coffee]

Let's take Thailand, for and example:

If Thailand were a factory, the workers were the mothers and fathers, and the tools were the resources the workers need to build a quality product, and the product were children being produced to mature into adulthood, then we would have a factory with the following challenges:

Government workers, organizations, do-gooders, etc. allowed to roam the factory and perform the following:

• Destroying and sabotaging the equipment
• Third rate, broken down equipment being provided with unreasonable expectations in output
• Upsetting and interfering with the workers productivity and ability to focus
• Creating an unfair divide between the workers
• Applying severe penalties unfairly against some workers for poor performance, and rewarding the other workers for poor performance
• Creating a reward system not based on a quality product, but moreover to add to the disruption and chaos in the factory
• Focusing on things about the product that are not essential to its ability to be productive and meet specifications
• Not involving or cluing in the workers about major expectations in product development and performance
• Low expectations in product performance, but a real great marketing campaign to make people believe the product is the best in the land

Just a thought. I think people get the point.

[metisdead]

Off topic obfuscation posts and replies have been removed.

[wilcopops]

If you think hitting your spouse/significant other is "acting like a man," then you're reinforcing toxic masculinity. And that's exactly the problem to begin with! Of course it's unacceptable for either partner to assault the other, but the very fact you phrased it as you did demonstrates how deep the issue runs, and why ultimately it is our violent understanding of masculinities (plural, btw, because of sociocultural contexts) which needs to be addressed.

The sad thing about this forum, is that somehow it has become populated over the years with the worst examples of foreigners you're going to find anywhere. They've successfully bullied more interesting or intelligent people away some time ago, and now it's basically the same alcoholics and abusers who reinforce each other here every day. And yeah, they get very upset if there is ever a mention of women's rights, or any subject which touches the wrong nerve with them. Basically, these are guys who couldn't make it at home, so they came here to abuse people and imagine themselves superior. Of course not everyone here at all, but there's a clique majority who definitely try to assert this view that it is their right.

I shouldn't even be looking, as I promised myself I wouldn't anymore, until the day they posted some actual visa information again (which they never seem to anymore).

If you're a man hater, Thailand isn't a good place to be.

so if you believe violence towards women is on the increase, you are a "man hater"???

Edited November 28, 2014 by wilcopops

[wilcopops]

I don't think there is a rise if anything there is a decline in abuse against women

What is rising is the reporting of such cases as women become more confident in society and there is less stigma

do you seriously think that those who organised the study haven't taken that into consideration? Perhaps you should do your own survey as they may have missed out some other factors.....like including a few misandrists?

[BritManToo]

I don't think there is a rise if anything there is a decline in abuse against women

What is rising is the reporting of such cases as women become more confident in society and there is less stigma

do you seriously think that those who organised the study haven't taken that into consideration? Perhaps you should do your own survey as they may have missed out some other factors.....like including a few misandrists?

I don't think studies in Thailand mean anything, or should even be called studies.

Usually written by people who couldn't complete high school in the west.

And they don't study much of anything except their own face in an i-phone.

[BritManToo]

If you think hitting your spouse/significant other is "acting like a man," then you're reinforcing toxic masculinity. And that's exactly the problem to begin with! Of course it's unacceptable for either partner to assault the other, but the very fact you phrased it as you did demonstrates how deep the issue runs, and why ultimately it is our violent understanding of masculinities (plural, btw, because of sociocultural contexts) which needs to be addressed.

The sad thing about this forum, is that somehow it has become populated over the years with the worst examples of foreigners you're going to find anywhere. They've successfully bullied more interesting or intelligent people away some time ago, and now it's basically the same alcoholics and abusers who reinforce each other here every day. And yeah, they get very upset if there is ever a mention of women's rights, or any subject which touches the wrong nerve with them. Basically, these are guys who couldn't make it at home, so they came here to abuse people and imagine themselves superior. Of course not everyone here at all, but there's a clique majority who definitely try to assert this view that it is their right.

I shouldn't even be looking, as I promised myself I wouldn't anymore, until the day they posted some actual visa information again (which they never seem to anymore).

If you're a man hater, Thailand isn't a good place to be.

so if you believe violence towards women is on the increase, you are a "man hater"???

No, I think writing stuff like "reinforcing toxic masculinity" and "the same alcoholics and abusers who reinforce each other here every day" indicates they are man haters ...... or haters of some sort anyways, or perhaps just clinically insane. I felt abused and violated just by reading those two posts, imagine having to live with someone who talked or thought like that?

Edited November 28, 2014 by BritManToo

[A1Str8]

I enjoy abusing "men" who abuse women.

[Thomas Hannah]

Do not feel sorry for any of them.The same ,women,Will then have a farrang, who treats them realy well.And what do they do,You know all the rest ,to what i could say.Do they want us farrangs to pity them.Maybe if they change there attitude, But we all know,Its thai culture.

[wilcopops]

I don't think there is a rise if anything there is a decline in abuse against women

What is rising is the reporting of such cases as women become more confident in society and there is less stigma

do you seriously think that those who organised the study haven't taken that into consideration? Perhaps you should do your own survey as they may have missed out some other factors.....like including a few misandrists?

I don't think studies in Thailand mean anything, or should even be called studies.

Usually written by people who couldn't complete high school in the west.

And they don't study much of anything except their own face in an i-phone.

Except it isn't just a Thai study..

"The United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women reported that most incidents of violence in Thailand involved husbands and wives or lovers."

i feel your "opinion" says more about yourself than the survey.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

there are almost 100 abuse cases reported daily, with most of the attackers a partner or family member.

Clearly the answer is to get rid of the Dark Ages private family home / codependent wedlock / capture-bonding abuse of children with violence and shame.

Aun (not her real name) has been victimised by her "hot tempered" husband for decades. The physical and mental abuse has left her yearning for a separation but the thought of her two kids being without a dad means she continues to endure the abuse.

Another way of looking at the above situation would be:

Aun has been bullying her emotionally battered husband for decades, suffocating the life out of him with her illegitimate imposition and noncontribution. At times, the physical retaliation in response to her physical and emotional provocation in refusing to leave or give her victim any peace, has left her wondering if maybe she shouldn't have just studied and developed her mind to gain her independence rather than wasting her youth on cosmetic extortion to ensure as many men as possible might be forced to treat her Right. But she didn't so she has no choice but to continue to expose her children to danger on account of her real existence as a dysfunctional parasite who cannot even take care of herself, using her children as pretexts to justify her lecherous need to latch onto a man forced to sustain her illegitimate existence.

It's time for the lies to end. Men are pathetic for letting this parasitic conduct get so out of hand.

[ttthailand]

And you wondered why Thai ladies always say that they don't like Thai men.

Sad part is that farangs do same....

[cheeryble]

Violence in general is on the increase worldwide.

Factcheck:

Not according to Pinker who has been wrong elsewhere but unlikely here...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Better_Angels_of_Our_Nature

Edited November 28, 2014 by cheeryble

[forumuser10]

or...

"people are always going on about the poor in society.....what about the RICH??? they have problems too you know!" - (my heart bleeds)

Is it safe to say that you believe in the fallacy that most victims in society are females and most males are the predator?

If so, wake up.

Edited November 28, 2014 by forumuser10

[wilcopops]

or...

"people are always going on about the poor in society.....what about the RICH??? they have problems too you know!" - (my heart bleeds)

Is it safe to say that you believe in the fallacy that most victims in society are females and most males are the predator?

If so, wake up.

like so many of the posts here they are made without any reference to evidence or critical thought.

Do you realise that is a fallacious argument, a non sequitur?

[forumuser10]

And you wondered why Thai ladies always say that they don't like Thai men.

Sad part is that farangs do same....

There are mainly 2 reasons why some Thai ladies say they do not like Thai men.

1. It is because these particular ladies were very bad at choosing a reliable and good guy, the result is, they end up with a child/chidren without a father.

2. Because of this, some of these ladies end up trying to flirt and interact with foreigners. So in order to make to make the interaction as smooth as possible, and to make it more comfortable for the foreigner, she also makes sure he understands, "she only like foreigner, not Thai man."

[smotherb]

The rise of abuse against women is not confined to Thailand , this is another one of the worlds anti social trends that we can do without , lots of theories have been bandied about , mine, too much alcohol and drugs.

I think it is more a case of jealousy, insecurity, and inferiority. Let's face it, women have the marvelous product. Men have an insatiable desire to get some of that product. Men realize they can be manipulated by that product and the weaker, mentally challenged, cretins among us react by using brute force--the only real superiority they may have over women.

Now, before someone jumps on me saying, "I'm not like that . . ." or "Everything isn't based on sex . . .," let me say I am speaking in general terms; as are all descriptions of behavioral norms or cultural dimensions.

[maidee]

hub of domestic violence?

[Larry001]

Surprise, surprise. These figures only account for those that are reported. Whilst one can never accurately judge; l would at a guess say a lot less than 50% are reported. Yes, it happens all over the world but is very prevalent in this country. Thai men!!!!!

[Larry001]

forumuser10, on 28 Nov 2014 - 19:10, said:

ttthailand, on 28 Nov 2014 - 18:39, said:

And you wondered why Thai ladies always say that they don't like Thai men.

Sad part is that farangs do same....

There are mainly 2 reasons why some Thai ladies say they do not like Thai men.

1. It is because these particular ladies were very bad at choosing a reliable and good guy, the result is, they end up with a child/chidren without a father.

2. Because of this, some of these ladies end up trying to flirt and interact with foreigners. So in order to make to make the interaction as smooth as possible, and to make it more comfortable for the foreigner, she also makes sure he understands, "she only like foreigner, not Thai man."

Please; that maybe your opinion. Where is your supporting evidence for a comment like that. If its an opinion say so. Don't make a statement without some support