Abuse against women in Thailand on the rise: study

[BritManToo]

I think it is more a case of jealousy, insecurity, and inferiority. Let's face it, women have the marvelous product. Men have an insatiable desire to get some of that product. Men realize they can be manipulated by that product and the weaker, mentally challenged, cretins among us react by using brute force--the only real superiority they may have over women.

And there was me thinking my only real superiority was my wallet.

Brute force, not from me, I'm weak, and they use knives.

Most Thai women are much younger and stronger than the elderly foreigners they live with.

Not to mention, many women (worldwide) seem to actually prefer abusive,violent and dangerous men.

Most of the wimpy guys spouting feminist nonsense on this thread wouldn't stand a hope in hell of bagging an attractive woman.

(I'm including myself here, far too weak and tame for most of the women I really wanted).

If women really wanted to stop domestic violence aimed at them, simple answer, stop choosing violent and abusive men as partners. It's not like most of these guys ever kept their violent nature secret.

Edited November 28, 2014 by BritManToo

[smotherb]

I think it is more a case of jealousy, insecurity, and inferiority. Let's face it, women have the marvelous product. Men have an insatiable desire to get some of that product. Men realize they can be manipulated by that product and the weaker, mentally challenged, cretins among us react by using brute force--the only real superiority they may have over women.

And there was me thinking my only real superiority was my wallet.

Brute force, not from me, I'm weak, and they use knives.

Most Thai women are much younger and stronger than the elderly foreigners they live with.

Not to mention, many women (worldwide) seem to actually prefer abusive,violent and dangerous men.

Most of the wimpy guys spouting feminist nonsense on this thread wouldn't stand a hope in hell of bagging an attractive woman.

(I'm including myself here, far too weak and tame for most of the women I really wanted).

If women really wanted to stop domestic violence aimed at them, simple answer, stop choosing violent and abusive men as partners. It's not like most of these guys ever kept their violent nature secret.

Well, yes, read my second paragraph, there are exceptions. First, I was not limiting my statements to farang-Thai conflicts, self-abusive personalities, feeble elderly male relationships, or to those who choose abusive partners. Your advice to help women from becoming victims is questionable at best, but I think you could use that logic and avoid airline crashes.

[wilcopops]

I think it is more a case of jealousy, insecurity, and inferiority. Let's face it, women have the marvelous product. Men have an insatiable desire to get some of that product. Men realize they can be manipulated by that product and the weaker, mentally challenged, cretins among us react by using brute force--the only real superiority they may have over women.

And there was me thinking my only real superiority was my wallet.

Brute force, not from me, I'm weak, and they use knives.

Most Thai women are much younger and stronger than the elderly foreigners they live with.

Not to mention, many women (worldwide) seem to actually prefer abusive,violent and dangerous men.

Most of the wimpy guys spouting feminist nonsense on this thread wouldn't stand a hope in hell of bagging an attractive woman.

(I'm including myself here, far too weak and tame for most of the women I really wanted).

If women really wanted to stop domestic violence aimed at them, simple answer, stop choosing violent and abusive men as partners. It's not like most of these guys ever kept their violent nature secret.

"Not to mention, many women (worldwide) seem to actually prefer abusive,violent and dangerous men."

Probably the most offence comment of the entire thread?

[Malthus101]

Well if they're weren't so annoying...........

[poweratradio]

My sad reality is to ALLOW domestic abuse if i see it in public. I am amazed that I said this, but it's true. I've seen too many farang beat up very, very badly when interfering. So am I part of the problem?

I guess many are part of the problem. As a retired lawyer I heard many times men making the excuse that if a woman tries to wear a mans shoes she can be beaten like a man. Perhaps a low life's mentality but all the same it is whats believed in many circles.

[poweratradio]

I think it is more a case of jealousy, insecurity, and inferiority. Let's face it, women have the marvelous product. Men have an insatiable desire to get some of that product. Men realize they can be manipulated by that product and the weaker, mentally challenged, cretins among us react by using brute force--the only real superiority they may have over women.

And there was me thinking my only real superiority was my wallet.

Brute force, not from me, I'm weak, and they use knives.

Most Thai women are much younger and stronger than the elderly foreigners they live with.

Not to mention, many women (worldwide) seem to actually prefer abusive,violent and dangerous men.

Most of the wimpy guys spouting feminist nonsense on this thread wouldn't stand a hope in hell of bagging an attractive woman.

(I'm including myself here, far too weak and tame for most of the women I really wanted).

If women really wanted to stop domestic violence aimed at them, simple answer, stop choosing violent and abusive men as partners. It's not like most of these guys ever kept their violent nature secret.

"Not to mention, many women (worldwide) seem to actually prefer abusive,violent and dangerous men."

Probably the most offence comment of the entire thread?

The bad boy syndrome.

[Caitrin]

If you're a man hater, Thailand isn't a good place to be.

so if you believe violence towards women is on the increase, you are a "man hater"???

No, I think writing stuff like "reinforcing toxic masculinity" and "the same alcoholics and abusers who reinforce each other here every day" indicates they are man haters ...... or haters of some sort anyways, or perhaps just clinically insane. I felt abused and violated just by reading those two posts, imagine having to live with someone who talked or thought like that?

I don't hate men. This is a common ad hominem attack against those interested in women's issues, and feminists more generally. Usually by dudes who see any criticism of a men dominated society as a personal attack. Perhaps you need to have a good long think about why you're so threatened by an easily demonstrable fact.

What I do hate is the oppressive hierarchical frameworks which center the needs, desires, activities, thoughts, opinions, etc of some groups over others and are maintained through discrimination, intimidation, and violence. Not just misogyny, but racism, classism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

Also, folks, misandry is not a thing. At least not academically. There is no such thing as reverse sexism. Isms are institutionalised, and you can't have an ism unless there are oppressive frameworks in place which are socially reinforced by those with power. Just like there is no such thing as "reverse racism" or any other "reverse" "ism."

There are so many examples of "blaming the victim" in this thread, it's hard to address them individually. The "well women should raise better boys if they want to lower violence against women" claim puts the onus for correction on the oppressed class. You're placing the onus for correction on the victims. And you greatly overstate the power women have over children who identify themselves as boys. Gender is strongly preached and strongly enforced in nearly all human societies, and therefore, for most people (genderqueer and binary transgender people often being the exception), gender is strongly internalised. So if a child who identifies himself as a boy looks to his mother and does not see a role model for boyhood/manhood (which he will not, because she is a woman, and was a girl), he will look elsewhere. This is where abusive and oppressive patterns of behavior in peers, in older male relatives, in his father, in the wider society have far more effect on his internalisation of gender norms than the chiding of his mother. TL;DR: the theory that mothers can create good sons in the absence of social changes is bullshit.

[BritManToo]

Also, folks, misandry is not a thing. At least not academically. There is no such thing as reverse sexism. Isms are institutionalised, and you can't have an ism unless there are oppressive frameworks in place which are socially reinforced by those with power. Just like there is no such thing as "reverse racism" or any other "reverse" "ism."

You mean like judges alway awarding the home and custody of the children to women?

Seems oppressive to me, and fully backed by those with power.

[Caitrin]

Heh. You could make this into buzzword bingo or a drinking game. You know how often that's brought up? Almost every time someone whines about "what about the menz."

Except it's wrong.

The perception that women are almost always awarded custody of the children fails to take into account two major factors: 1) that in such cases most men do not actually fight for custody and custody is awarded either with the expressed agreement of the men in question or without their adequate reply to the courts. 2) that any judge who does see women as more maternal or better able to care for children is viewing women through the lens of traditional gender roles which are based upon the idea that a woman's proper place is in the home.

Patriarchy harms men, certainly, but it's men harming men. It's oppression backfiring on men. That doesn't mean the intent of the system is to actually limit the options of men (even though in order to maintain the frameworks in question, some men get hurt as a side effect).

Oppressive frameworks hurt everyone, but they don't hurt everyone equally. And pretending that they do simply reinforces the same problematic dynamics.

So, there.

*mic drop*

[captspectre]

abuse on thai women on the rise? in the forty one years I have been here It has remainded th same! that men have an inferiority complex and take it out on their women! just watch how a thai man looks at you when you walked pass him with a lovely on your arm!some of them have their Wife work in the tourist bars and bring the money home so they can gamble and drink their fool heads off! and when the women has a falong boy friend they pass themselves off as Ralatives! brother, uncle, etc. the bad thing is that some gulible falong believe that!

[wilcopops]

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My sad reality is to ALLOW domestic abuse if i see it in public. I am amazed that I said this, but it's true. I've seen too many farang beat up very, very badly when interfering. So am I part of the problem?

Never interfere in a fight between Thais even if its a woman involved, worst case scenario, they both attack you together.

Thais are unpredictable, make no mistake, their smile don't mean they like you or want to be your friend.

One time in my building, this French guy was just beating the ____ out of this tiny Thai girl at 4am, and I went running outside - half the guy's size at that - to try to stop him somehow, at least with reason. And to my shock, this Thai girl stopped and calmly waited for him to come back and they could go at it again. It was very disheartening!

That doesn't mean she 'deserved' it, or any of the typical things you'll hear men say. Because it's in her background that she's used to this, and that's the part she doesn't deserve, to be conditioned to accept this treatment. But it was eye opening for me.

So what??? It STILL violence against women!

[wilcopops]

As an experienced statistician who has also been a state manager for one of the worlds largest community service organisations..... this spike is likely to be because of increased reporting not increased incidence as they portray. If so, this could actually be a good thing, as long as those reports are ACTED ON by the authorities and the follow-up support mechanisms are adequately and genuinely resourced. The latter part is what is of most concern to me.

What a ridiculous and facile post.

It is not your qualifications that are relevant it is the evidence. ...and the interpretation. You have not given a single piece of evidence to support your hypothesis.

"There were lies, damn lies, and statistics"...do you seriously think that the UN statisticians who compiled the report have overlooked the possibility?????!

Edited November 29, 2014 by wilcopops

[wilcopops]

If you think hitting your spouse/significant other is "acting like a man," then you're reinforcing toxic masculinity. And that's exactly the problem to begin with! Of course it's unacceptable for either partner to assault the other, but the very fact you phrased it as you did demonstrates how deep the issue runs, and why ultimately it is our violent understanding of masculinities (plural, btw, because of sociocultural contexts) which needs to be addressed.

The sad thing about this forum, is that somehow it has become populated over the years with the worst examples of foreigners you're going to find anywhere. They've successfully bullied more interesting or intelligent people away some time ago, and now it's basically the same alcoholics and abusers who reinforce each other here every day. And yeah, they get very upset if there is ever a mention of women's rights, or any subject which touches the wrong nerve with them. Basically, these are guys who couldn't make it at home, so they came here to abuse people and imagine themselves superior. Of course not everyone here at all, but there's a clique majority who definitely try to assert this view that it is their right.

I shouldn't even be looking, as I promised myself I wouldn't anymore, until the day they posted some actual visa information again (which they never seem to anymore).

If you're a man hater, Thailand isn't a good place to be.

so if you believe violence towards women is on the increase, you are a "man hater"???

No, I think writing stuff like "reinforcing toxic masculinity" and "the same alcoholics and abusers who reinforce each other here every day" indicates they are man haters ...... or haters of some sort anyways, or perhaps just clinically insane. I felt abused and violated just by reading those two posts, imagine having to live with someone who talked or thought like that?

You are clearly very sensitive as regards to abuse, so why do you have such a problem with accepting that Thai women are being abused and the violence is on the rise.....do you seriously think there isn't a problem?

[wilcopops]

Do not feel sorry for any of them.The same ,women,Will then have a farrang, who treats them realy well.And what do they do,You know all the rest ,to what i could say.Do they want us farrangs to pity them.Maybe if they change there attitude, But we all know,Its thai culture.

I get sick to death of those Thai "experts" who think by rolling out phrases like "Thai culture" they are in some way offering an explanation to the situation or contributing to the discussion...all they are doing is showing up their ignorance of Thailand and their inability to come up with a valid point of view

[wilcopops]

Also, folks, misandry is not a thing. At least not academically. There is no such thing as reverse sexism. Isms are institutionalised, and you can't have an ism unless there are oppressive frameworks in place which are socially reinforced by those with power. Just like there is no such thing as "reverse racism" or any other "reverse" "ism."

You mean like judges alway awarding the home and custody of the children to women?

Seems oppressive to me, and fully backed by those with power.

"You mean like judges alway awarding the home and custody of the children to women?"

Sadly you are quite incorrect...check your facts before spouting such nonsense.

[MaxLee]

If you have money and power, you're untouchable,... the typical Thai-Highway male society....

[mikebell]

Thai boys are raised to think they are the centre of the Universe - by their families which include their mothers. They are cosseted from an early age to believe they can do no wrong. Families bankrupt themselves to put them into the monkhood for a few months before moving back into society where they begin the process of impregnating a number of women before moving on leaving the woman/child without support.

As long as this practice is condoned by society/governments, women will continue to be treated as 2nd class citizens and used as punchbags by drunken Thai males.

[mick01827]

The rise of abuse against women is not confined to Thailand , this is another one of the worlds anti social trends that we can do without , lots of theories have been bandied about , mine, too much alcohol and drugs.

My theory, gets them a better deal in a divorce, so why not accuse him.

No real evidence anywhere in the world that violence towards women is on the rise.

And in Thailand, plenty of violence towards men, but nobody cares about what happens to men.

Time for campaigns to aim at reducing violence towards anyone.

great post and I completely agree, it seems acceptable to physically abuse a man. Me and my thai gf were sitting on beach road in pattaya people watching and saw a thai couple arguing, she slapped him around the face which my gf thought was ok and I said would it be ok if he hit her which she replied no because she is lady, I then said if she wants to act like a man she must expect to be treated like a man! A very big discussion followed

Wow. There's so much wrong with this, I don't know where to start!

If you think hitting your spouse/significant other is "acting like a man," then you're reinforcing toxic masculinity. And that's exactly the problem to begin with! Of course it's unacceptable for either partner to assault the other, but the very fact you phrased it as you did demonstrates how deep the issue runs, and why ultimately it is our violent understanding of masculinities (plural, btw, because of sociocultural contexts) which needs to be addressed.

I definitely do not think it's ok to hit a woman, women are 'in theory' supposed to be feminine which in my opinion does not include raising your hand...to anyone but it seems that the majority of women think it's ok for a woman to hit a man but when a man hits a woman all he'll breaks lose and he should be hung.......double standards, if you want equal rights fine but make it equal and not just when it suits!

Edited November 29, 2014 by mick01827

[Crossy]

A post breaking Rule 7 has been removed

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

[Jackson86]

the main problem is the lack of education which results in more violence, especially against women. the thai government should address this issue instead.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

I think it is more a case of jealousy, insecurity, and inferiority. Let's face it, women have the marvelous product.

Men biologically desire to please women. There is negligible sensory reward for men in sex, but victims of traumatic abuse are easily confused by sensory v imagined stimuli. Take, for example, the offence some people imagine they feel. They imagine someone external to their imagination is in control of their mind, and is hurting them with their actions or words. "Stop", they'll scream in a violent rage. "Stop hurting me. Put some clothes on."

But it's not the mean words or naked truth that hurts. It's the trauma the victims of early childhood abuse have suffered that makes them hurt themselves in their imaginations. No one can control their mind but them. They just don't realise it after having control taken from them when they were helpless and vulnerable.

Now that I've shown you how almost everyone is emotionally insane, you should be able to understand the confused blur between sensory and imagined feelings. I assure you, sex has almost no sensory reward for men. This is a physiological fact you can verify. Men who love sex don't actually love sex, they love the idea of sex. They need the validation, the approval of women. This is actually natural, but it's been abused. There's no other biological reward for men. It's only a problem for men who aren't validated by prostitutes-in-denial. For men like this, we have no reason to be alive.

Men have an insatiable desire to get some of that product.

I heard they'll even wear cosmetics to get product they cannot gain via legitimate means. Hell, they might even abuse children to make them confused -- and exploitable -- for life.

Men realize they can be manipulated by that product and the weaker, mentally challenged, cretins among us react by using brute force--the only real superiority they may have over women.

Those evil toddlers, beating up their mothers, lying to their mothers, exploiting the real superiority males have over women. I'm sorry you had to learn about women's violent superiority in such traumatic terms, that you've embarrassingly suppressed all memory of event.

Now, before someone jumps on me saying, "I'm not like that . . ." or "Everything isn't based on sex . . .," let me say I am speaking in general terms; as are all descriptions of behavioral norms or cultural dimensions.

Who creates and controls behavioral norms and cultural dimensions? Who had first access to your impressionable mind? In this world, the most inferior imagine they're superior, as their abusers nod and tell them they're right. You're the man. Women are helpless.

Keep oppressing them with your wallet. Keep exploiting them by fighting and dying to gain their withheld favour. You're a Real Man, fake women say.

But what do men say? I'm talking about real men, not the married slaves of women. No one is more inferior than them.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

define abuse?

Your post?

Asking a valid question is abuse?

You made the man's argument for him.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Thai boys are raised to think they are the centre of the Universe - by their families which include their mothers. They are cosseted from an early age to believe they can do no wrong. Families bankrupt themselves to put them into the monkhood for a few months before moving back into society where they begin the process of impregnating a number of women before moving on leaving the woman/child without support.

Your misogynistic and sexist view is that women are impregnated? They are mindless objects to you.

This world is horrifying.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

There are so many examples of "blaming the victim" in this thread, it's hard to address them individually. The "well women should raise better boys if they want to lower violence against women" claim puts the onus for correction on the oppressed class. You're placing the onus for correction on the victims.

Toddlers aren't victims? I don't even want to live in a world with people like you. I'm leaving, your insanity is intolerable.

And you greatly overstate the power women have over children who identify themselves as boys. TL;DR: the theory that mothers can create good sons in the absence of social changes is bullshit.

So you're admitting every woman who claims she needs to remain at home to raise children Right is a complete fraud enslaving a man and beating violence into her children for no reason.

[horsewell]

Why only Women ? They should also include abuse and torture again man too in Thailand....

Because men are not the topic here. As clearly stated in the title, women are the topic here. And yet, for some reason, every single time a topic about women's issues comes up (sometimes even in a dedicated woman-oriented space, which this is decidedly not), the reaction within just a few comments/posts is "what about the menz?"

Incidentally men on men violence is an effect of the dominance of men backfiring on other men. It's not some proof that men and women are equally targeted in the same ways with the same intent.

The proper response to "Wow, look at this increase in violence against women" is not, "That's horrible, but let's talk about violence against men now!"

If you talk societal violence or even violence on women and don't think about men then you are missing half the picture.

[Caitrin]

Scooter, I can't parse a single thing you said. Sounds like some sort of mad ad lib.

Horsewell, you're missing the point here, the topic here is violence against women by men, not violence against men. Stop re-centering the narrative.

Are you a woman? No? It's not about you. Are you a man who commits violence against women? No? It's not about you.

[BritManToo]

Scooter, I can't parse a single thing you said. Sounds like some sort of mad ad lib.

Horsewell, you're missing the point here, the topic here is violence against women by men, not violence against men. Stop re-centering the narrative.

Are you a woman? No? It's not about you. Are you a man who commits violence against women? No? It's not about you.

Are you a woman that's beaten by a man?

No? It's not about you either.

[Caitrin]

You're kidding me, right? See, those "No?"s that I used? Those are called "rhetorical" and that means we assume the answer is indeed correct. If you're a woman, this is about you (but we've established you are not, your forum name even says you are a man). Also, I assume, in good faith (maybe I'm wrong), that you don't assault women. If you do assault women, then this is very much about you.

As for physical abuse, harassment, and sexual assault at the hands of men? Yup, been there. Am I woman? Yes, I am. So, ZING, it's about me (in that I am a member of the group under discussion, women).

Edited November 30, 2014 by Caitrin

[Mandymarg]

i wish some people on this site would stop trivializing this topic. It is a serious worldwide phenomenon and deserves to be treated as such not to be subjected to insults and mud slinging. If you're serious about it then get off your backsides and do something about it lie fundraising or raising awareness

[wilcopops]

Scooter, I can't parse a single thing you said. Sounds like some sort of mad ad lib.

Horsewell, you're missing the point here, the topic here is violence against women by men, not violence against men. Stop re-centering the narrative.

Are you a woman? No? It's not about you. Are you a man who commits violence against women? No? It's not about you.

Are you a woman that's beaten by a man?

No? It's not about you either.

...and the award for the most facile post on the thread goes to......