On her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark.

Through her binoculars she could see it was Cristiano Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!

At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white England tops sped into view.

One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling.... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.

On reaching the yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said,

"You deserve a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup.

But I see that the England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries." She knighted them and sailed away.

As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who the **** was that?!"

"That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen, she rules the Commonwealth and knows everything about our country."

"Well," Rooney replied, "she knows **** all about shark fishing, how's the bait holding up?"

Apologies if it,s been posted before, if not may it raise a light hearted diversion from the start of the season.

Good luck to all football supporters and all the teams for 2006-2007

marshbags

Nice One MB..Good luck to Wednesday's Owls

Goodly joke Marsh! Why not put our past behind us , and enter into the EPL compo old bean ?

Goodly joke Marsh! Why not put our past behind us , and enter into the EPL compo old bean ?

Hiya chonabot

Thanks for the invite and without sounding condescending your much appreciated magnaminity.

May others follow our example and not hold grudges just because of the odd exchange of words.

marshbags

P.S. Keep up the good work in the football section you do on behalf of T.Visa supporters.

also thanks to TP and may i reciprocate your wishes to you and Reading, who i think will do well in the premier league.