Jip99 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I have terrible aim with those things. Can never hit it, end up like blasting my nuts, cheeks, gooch, everything except my arse. You wouldn't think they would require a "retard warning" would you ? A bit like having "caution may contain hot water" on a kettle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jip99 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 My wife always says to me 'dont put tissue down the toilet' I just nod, but really, where else should I put it? Anyway those sprayers work but you always end up with a wet ass. You are one of those who think integration is a Waddingtons board game aren't you ? The obsession with trying to shove sh!te up your jacksy with a wad of tissue is beyond me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Sprayer attached to Toilet: For spraying butthole? Of course, what d'you think's it's for, watering the geraniums? So when it sprays, do chunks of <deleted> get splashed around all over the toilet area? I guess they would if you were still in the process of defecating. Geez, how card can it be: poo, spray a-hole at a distance of approximately 1" (+ or - 1/2") while fiddling around (not fingering yourself) with left hand. Pat dry with toilet paper, wash hands. Notice I mentioned left hand? Keep that in mind as right hands are not supposed to touch bottoms in Asia... apparently. Far cleaner and more efficient than the 'Western process'. If you're worried about doing a number two while out and about, be sure to squeeze one out first at home. Remember the golden rule: never sh.it where you eat. Happy new year and welcome to TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbrenn Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Has my vote for top of the list of 'Greatest Thai Inventions'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evadgib Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Toilet paper is only used to clean my mouth or nose these days. The bottom side is cleaned by the spray gun, and as I was in my home country for 2 weeks last month I can assure you, I can't live without it anymore. Sandpapering the Kyber was indeed a surprise the last time I ventured back to UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Toilet paper is only used to clean my mouth or nose these days. The bottom side is cleaned by the spray gun, and as I was in my home country for 2 weeks last month I can assure you, I can't live without it anymore. Sandpapering the Kyber was indeed a surprise the last time I ventured back to UK. I don't know how I'd cope having to go back to paper smearing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crickets Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 You can use the spray gun as a water fountain as well if u r thirsty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
draftvader Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Keep the pressure down to avoid involuntary enemas, and yes, it's far, far cleaner than smearing the carp all around with paper. ..and don't go falling so in love with it that you decide having one in a temperate climate is a good idea....the water here doesn't get close to freezing.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gulfsailor Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 You have to watch out. I sprayed my ring once and a piece of <deleted> landed on the back of my shorts and i didnt know until after i sat down on a couch with 5 other people who couldnt help but notice the smell. I stood up and everyone saw the <deleted> stain on the couch. Very funny but embarassing. Wow. After living here 10 years I only just figured out how to use the bum gun properly! I was laughing with my gf about this thread and that I use a paper-spray-paper sequence as I worry where the loose bits might fly otherwise. Eye-opener; one is supposed to use the spray from the front pointing it backwards between your legs. Since we are taught to wipe from the back I sit further forward on the toilet and also used to spray from the back, wetting my balls in the process. Thais sit all the way to the back and close the bowl with their butt cheeks, so that the spray and chunks when coming from the front can't go anywhere but end up in the toilet. Oh and my gf told me Thais don't have chunks or sticky poop because they eat rice. A bit doubtful on that claim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fookhaht Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I have terrible aim with those things. Can never hit it, end up like blasting my nuts, cheeks, gooch, everything except my arse.Don't fret. It's an acquired skill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fey Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 i never thought it was an arse do dad. i thought it was for cleaning the inside of the bowl after you take a dump. people actually spray it up their arse LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 (edited) Ah the bum gun. Quite possibly the greatest invention known to man. My own personal voyage of discovery going from " How on earth do I use this properly?" to can't live without it. Went back to the UK for three weeks over the summer and the only blot on a perfect trip was a period of no bum gun. One of life's little pleasures; discovering a Thai bog with a bum gun of just the right pressure and nozzle spray pattern when you've got a case of the Eartha Kitts... Edited January 1, 2015 by mca Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bina Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 All women and girls know its 'front to back'...keep the bacteria away from indoor plumbing...and we have installed in our house as well and frankly as a woman I cant tell u how much cleaner ifeel 'that time of the month'or when weather is too hot. ..to be able to wash....I go home from work (across the road) to use home bathroom and not our hotel lobby bathroom/staff bathrooms. .. LMAO dogs looking at me laughing out loud. .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balo Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 (edited) Bum guns are effective and will clean your anus. We use one at home. But I would never use a bum gun in a public toilet. Why ? Lots of bacteria, I've read some stories about parasites could enter your body via the anus. But every home in thailand has a bum gun. Once you get used to it you will never switch back to paper. Using a bum gun will also reduce the risks of getting hemorroids. Edited January 1, 2015 by balo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gsxrnz Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 (edited) Never mind the cleansing aspect of the bum gun, what about the cooling effect they have the morning after having consumed a super hot curry? There are few pleasures equal to cooling down your date after having released last night's curry down the toilet bowl. Occasionally I'll do the usual sprayy n' wipe and then sit there for an extra minute to see if the cooling effect is sufficient. If not I'll give it a second blast - and often the second time around the water is a little cooler because you've already drained the warmish water from the pipes by then. Happy squirting. EDIT: It's been suggested before, but can the Mods perhaps pin a Bum Guns 101 post somewhere? In the real world (if you can call living the LOS the real world), how to use a bum gun correctly is at least as important as how to maintain an appropriate visa. Edited January 1, 2015 by Gsxrnz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooo Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Moved to Expat forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adammike Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Back in the real world most of us do the three Ss so we have no need to spray,trust me its the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeegee Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 (edited) Newbie had the revelation of the true purpose of the bum gun but clearly hasn't yet fathomed it's effectiveness. Poo is water soluble so it's easier and quicker, as well as cleaner, cooler, more environmentally friendly and - like the good old fan - has additional uses if you use your imagination: such as blasting dust off the top of the toilet overflow lid, firing at bugs, etc. Same as fans: great for keeping mosquitoes away, cooling cup noodles and blow drying hair or the crack of your ass after a shower during the hot times of the year. Note that in Thailand there are lots of ways and means towards satisfaction in and around your backside, not all of which need be paid for Edited January 1, 2015 by Squeegee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redandyellow Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Caution: Turn down the pressure, or face dire consequences Signed, When the sh-t hit the fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanhull Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Moved to Expat forum. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishsmile Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I have terrible aim with those things. Can never hit it, end up like blasting my nuts, cheeks, gooch, everything except my arse. Hahahaha sooooooo funny!!! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 They have started selling them in US hardware stores. The politically correct term is hand-held bidet. So, stop calling them bum guns. They are bum guns. A bidet is this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabianfred Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Firstly, you can adjust the pressure by how hard you squeeze the trigger. I spray the wiping hand/fingers instead of directly up the hole.. The hardest spray is good for cleaning shit which sticks to the sides of the bowl without needing the brush. The plumbing in Thailand uses small size pipes which will block easily so avoid putting paper down the loo. Paper is Ok for drying the wet bum.... but what do you think they put the tails on shirts for? In underdeveloped Countries without bum guns... I shit ... I flush ... I dip my hand into the clean wtaer in the bowl and clean up... voila! Makes one less lazy about washing hands afterwards.... Why do you think few Thais bite their nails..? Story... I stopped wearing underwear 20 years ago. I used to enjoy riding a M/c on long trips and the undies got scrunched up and uncomfortable in the jeans/leather pants after a long hot sweaty trip. I read in a m/c magazine that a guy stopped wearing and tried it....great! ... Hang Free!!! Story ... I read a book about the Samurai times. Assasins were common. They probably handn't invented the U-bend then. So the thunderbox or a hole in the floor was probably the system used.... with trays to catch the fertilizer for the crops. Assasins had been known to hide under the loo and stick it up 'em whilst the man was in a delicate position. A warlord used to keep himself alert for attack at all times, and so he never left his pants around his ankles but always removed one leg. I do this also and it enables one to open ones legs wide and relax..... and I use the bottom of the pant leg to dry my bum with before putting them on as normal. In this climate after only a few minutes it is dry... much better than a damp bum area of the pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Bum Guns rock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeijoshinCool Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Keep the pressure down to avoid involuntary enemas, and yes, it's far, far cleaner than smearing the carp all around with paper. . Maybe, but don't you think the fish feels a bit left out? Carp, after all, are bottom feeders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barmatt Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Great idea I've installed two in my house in OZ and have brought back a few for my mates. Happy days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hocuspocus Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 <script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script> A genuine newcomer to Thailand, welcome and enjoy the delights of Thailand's most famous invention. +1 and don't try to bring this invention back to to "Farang" Land alt=biggrin.png> I took some back to my house in Greece when I lived there but my wife would not use hers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 They have started selling them in US hardware stores. The politically correct term is hand-held bidet. So, stop calling them bum guns. Actually, it is a US invention and has been around for at least 50 years... Every sink, in every kitchen, in every house in the US has had one of these for decades... The Thais adapted it for a more practical use... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realenglish1 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Hey don't knock it I have been using it for years. Does a great "job" and saves on paper. (feels good too) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malt25 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 They have started selling them in US hardware stores. The politically correct term is hand-held bidet. So, stop calling them bum guns. Bum gun... Bum gun... Bum gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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