5. Mai mee....when the item is staring you in the face.

4. Supermarket policies......... when Big C opened in Surin, I bought all the 'I Can't believe it's not Butter' on the first day. When I went to buty some more three weeks later and they had none, they said they could not sell it, so were not getting any more in. When I pointed out to them I bought it all, they informed me that after that thier records showed they sold none.

3. A woman riding sidesaddle..................................she was driving.

2. Our pub sign was only held on by two straps 3' long and four bolts. We got the workmen in because it was swaying too much, and when they left it was held on by two straps 6" long and two

bolts. It blew down before we could get them back in.

And at number one.

1 I sat on my glasses and bent one of the arms 45deg down. I took them to the optician, explained I wanted them the same again, and when he returned them, both arms were bent down 45 deg.

Oh well, he did the job.

Anymore to add?.

Funny!

TIT....

redrus

:D

That was good, lampy. Sad but true is truly sad.

Woman that runs the laundry on the bottom floor of the building applies to have a telephone installed.

TOT workers show up, cut my telephone line, reroute it into her shop and leave.

I come home (after being gone a whole 30 minutes) to find my internet connection is gone, then figured out that mine phone wasn't working either. Woman running the laundry tells me her new phone isn't working either.

I go take a look, and sure enough, there is the end of my line dangling in the breeze, and you could see where they had moved the cable to go into her shop.

Just for the heck of it, I called my landline from my mobile and sure enough, her phone starts to ring.

Your #1 could be the best one I've ever heard so far Lamps!

I had a bank experience yesterday. 4th trip to the bank to convert an account of mine to a joint account with my g/f (last times missing correct bank book, WP and 5 yards swimming certificate).

Online access to the account? Share the same username/password! But the one I can't figure out is cashing cheques - they now have to have both our names as the payees.

So if I receive a cheque for me, not me and her, we can't have it....

Your #1 could be the best one I've ever heard so far Lamps!

I had a bank experience yesterday. 4th trip to the bank to convert an account of mine to a joint account with my g/f (last times missing correct bank book, WP and 5 yards swimming certificate).

Online access to the account? Share the same username/password! But the one I can't figure out is cashing cheques - they now have to have both our names as the payees.

So if I receive a cheque for me, not me and her, we can't have it....

BTW.......I bought a new pair of glasses. The ones he repaired are still here. I wasn't going to let that one go. That was a couple of years back, but I still show them to people.

Your #1 could be the best one I've ever heard so far Lamps!

I had a bank experience yesterday. 4th trip to the bank to convert an account of mine to a joint account with my g/f (last times missing correct bank book, WP and 5 yards swimming certificate).

Online access to the account? Share the same username/password! But the one I can't figure out is cashing cheques - they now have to have both our names as the payees.

So if I receive a cheque for me, not me and her, we can't have it....

That was a couple of years back, but I still show them to people.

You should get em framed.................

redrus

This one needs a bump.

Finally got my Cyma watch back from the Cyma factory yesterday. It needed a new Cyma strap - took them over a month to sort it. Great strap though - well worth the wait. Only one problem:

The watch has stopped.

Where in the world do you send things off to get them fixed, only to receive them back more broken???

Two things...............both this morning.

1) After a night of torrential rain, our back yard was flooded, a six inch high wall was stopping the water from draing. I proposed to the wife that we knock a hole in this right away. " I know" she replied " I've asked the maintainance man to do it already. After the rainy season"

Apparantly her idea was to knock the wall down completely and build a new one with a hole in it. But it was too wet at the present time.

2) We had 100 boxes to take to the bottle yard this morning. It was going to take two journeys.

The man stacks the pick-up, way to high with the first 90 boxes, then comes back for the last 10.

Two things...............both this morning.

1) After a night of torrential rain, our back yard was flooded, a six inch high wall was stopping the water from draing. I proposed to the wife that we knock a hole in this right away. " I know" she replied " I've asked the maintainance man to do it already. After the rainy season"

Apparantly her idea was to knock the wall down completely and build a new one with a hole in it. But it was too wet at the present time.

2) We had 100 boxes to take to the bottle yard this morning. It was going to take two journeys.

The man stacks the pick-up, way to high with the first 90 boxes, then comes back for the last 10.

good ones lampy.

Make me miss LOS more and more! (seriously)

I employed the services of a couple of "painters" last week to paint the outside of my 2 storey house.

When they arrived they asked me where the brushes were !!!

Next they told me that they didn't think my STEP LADDERS would be long enough to reach the top floor windows, let alone the gable ends!!! (no shit sherlock)

I supplied 6 tins of beige emulsion and 1 tin of white, the latter being for the carport ceiling and the window cills.

I went out to check how things were coming on a bit later.The "painters" were half way through painting my ceiling ....beige .

As politely as I could I explained that this was wrong and even went through all the tins with them to prove it.

About an hour later monkey #1 calls me out to show me the finished ceiling, which is now beige ALL OVER !!!

With the most gormless smile on his face monkey #2 saysOK ?

By the next afternoon they had managed to paint the ceiling white as well as half the walls in the car port.

They jacked in that night cos the colour scheme was too difficult !!

They did say if I wanted any gardening done to ring them though

T I T

I have a new' get rich quick' scheme. It's easy really. You take a Thai person to the casino in Cambodia, and ask them which colour is coming up black or red. Whatever they say you put on the opposite. It's bound to work. Thais have this uncanny knack of getting everything wrong. The biggest problem of course is that most of them will say yellow or green.

You might well be onto something here Lampy

PROOF: .....they've done it again

The seven boxes are waiting for the next trip. The depot is two hundred yards down the road. 1 minute drive. With my wife supervising they took 20 mins to tie the load on safely. Another 5 mins to untie it, then come back for the remaining 7 boxes and a couple of sacks. What really worries me about this, is my wife is one of the intelligent ones.

Lampy LOL

Lampy,

I never doubted your story for 1 second.

Hurry up and wait.....

Its rush rush rush to get ready to go somewhere then sit down for an eternity waiting for something to happen......

PROOF: .....they've done it again

The seven boxes are waiting for the next trip. The depot is two hundred yards down the road. 1 minute drive. With my wife supervising they took 20 mins to tie the load on safely. Another 5 mins to untie it, then come back for the remaining 7 boxes and a couple of sacks. What really worries me about this, is my wife is one of the intelligent ones.

They were prolly just covering themselves in case Yorky popped in for a few before they got back, no point in making 3 trips

They were prolly just covering themselves in case Yorky popped in for a few before they got back, no point in making 3 trips

5 5 Bloody 5

PROOF: .....they've done it again

The seven boxes are waiting for the next trip. The depot is two hundred yards down the road. 1 minute drive. With my wife supervising they took 20 mins to tie the load on safely. Another 5 mins to untie it, then come back for the remaining 7 boxes and a couple of sacks. What really worries me about this, is my wife is one of the intelligent ones.

They were prolly just covering themselves in case Yorky popped in for a few before they got back, no point in making 3 trips

or Elsie

I bought one of those multi card readers t'other day. Got it home and my SD card would not fit in the designated slot. It looked like the insides were slightly skew wiff with the case. I took it back the next day.

I explained the problem to the counter attendant. She tried to insert the card but it wouldn't fit. She took the reader to the 'in-house' computer expert who, after trying all the slots (?), concluded that the card wouldn't fit. He gave the reader back to the attendant who again tried to insert the card without success. The attendant then handed the reader to the cashier who tried to insert the card and decided it didn't fit. The store boss overheard the conversation and came over and confirmed that the card definitely didn't fit. The cashier then refunded my money after checking one last time whether the reader accepted the card or not.

I bought one of those multi card readers t'other day. Got it home and my SD card would not fit in the designated slot. It looked like the insides were slightly skew wiff with the case. I took it back the next day.

I explained the problem to the counter attendant. She tried to insert the card but it wouldn't fit. She took the reader to the 'in-house' computer expert who, after trying all the slots (?), concluded that the card wouldn't fit. He gave the reader back to the attendant who again tried to insert the card without success. The attendant then handed the reader to the cashier who tried to insert the card and decided it didn't fit. The store boss overheard the conversation and came over and confirmed that the card definitely didn't fit. The cashier then refunded my money after checking one last time whether the reader accepted the card or not.

So.. did it fit ?

totster

650 baht for 2 apples at Tesco, a genuine mistake by the cashier..... it took 45 minutes for the staff & manager to issue a refund.

Why do Thai businesses loathe giving refunds when it's obvious that they have screwed up?

in a shop selling wooden ornaments and stuff , my wife picked up a painted wooden carving to look at , when she replaced it on the shelf the thing broke into two wooden carvings , the shop assistant who had been standing next to her picked it up and stared at it for a while , it was obviously a cracked and split ornament to begin with.

the shop assistant , aided by the shop manager now tried to persuade my wife to buy this broken ornament for increasingly generous discounts. starting at 10% and rising to 75% , saying that if we didnt buy it it was doubtful that they could ever sell it and the shop would suffer a loss.

as we eventually left the shop , we watched the broken ornament being gingerly replaced on the shelf by the downhearted looking sales assistant.

I went into the local travel agent to book a flight a couple of hours back but left my passport back at my condo. I told the guy:

"Sorry, I've left my passport back at my condo, do you need it to book my flight?"

Travel agent: "No its ok, can you remember the name on your passport?"

A mate of mine was having his front room painted.

As he has parquet flooring he painstakingly put masking tape and paper all over the floor to protect it from paint splashes.

The painters duly arrived and he went out and left them to it.

When he returned he was surprised to see that the paper was all screwed up on his front porch.

He thought they had finished...but of course they had'nt, they had taken the paper up BEFORE they started painting and of course the result was his floor was covered in paint drips

So three paint scrapers later (and an extra days work)he finally paid them

A few years ago my wife and i went to Tescos to buy a shuttlecock for the badminton court we had put together. When we found some they had different colour markings on them - presumably indicating the speed of the shuttle. My wife, somewhat optimistically asked a male staff who was hovering around the sport department bit if he knew the difference - he smiled confidently and said he knew - before telling her one had a blue dot and the other had a red dot!!!! When my wife very patiently probed a little further, he, surprisingly, had no idea what the red and blue dots meant!

A few years ago my wife and i went to Tescos to buy a shuttlecock for the badminton court we had put together. When we found some they had different colour markings on them - presumably indicating the speed of the shuttle. My wife, somewhat optimistically asked a male staff who was hovering around the sport department bit if he knew the difference - he smiled confidently and said he knew - before telling her one had a blue dot and the other had a red dot!!!! When my wife very patiently probed a little further, he, surprisingly, had no idea what the red and blue dots meant!

Excellent!