Anger Management

[2long]

Fights with partners (e.g. with locals who go quiet), bad driving, misuse of lifts, blah blah blah

Westerners get worked up about things that just don't effect our hosts. Most of us who have been here a while probably need to learn to chill out/jai yan yan/worry about something important.

I used to get really wound up with people pressing the wrong buttons in the lift, or pushing into it before people have a chance to get out. Not anymore... every time 'lift stupidity' occurs, I put 1baht into a pot. (this doesn't include the pushing in bit, because I couldn't afford that!) I can't remember the last time I got angry in a lift. I have even been stupid myself a few times and had to pay up. It works!

Also, a guy at work brings his family in (to a language school) almost every day (for several hours) and it amazes me and annoys me. the 'griengjai' Thais just let it happen and now every day they come in I give our daughter 100B (just for 2006) in her piggy bank. I'm going to break it open on New Year's Eve.

Ok, I'm going off on a tangent.

What do YOU do to keep Mr (or Mrs) Angry in the cupboard?

[sbk]

Well, being a woman, I find these moments usually hit me at certain times of the month. That is when I find the usual annoyances extremely difficult to take and tend to have major anger attacks.

When I feel one of these happening I try to step back (mentally) and take a deep breath. Try to figure out if my anger is unreasonable or not, if it is overreacting or not. Usually it is fairly unreasonable and overreactive. So, then I take another deep breath and walk away. Focus on something that won't annoy me. Like weeding in the garden. Nothing like ripping nasty weeds out to work out some excess aggression

Like your 1 baht idea tho. Maybe I'll get a piggy bank.

[Donz]

I dont really get angry, only when i see someone trying to belittle someone, thats probaly only thing that pisses me off.

Edited August 16, 2006 by Donz

[Thaiboxer]

Anger is definitely common in Bangkok. Dealing with it is simple; just find some worthless teenagers at the local mall and beat 'em into oblivion (just kidding)

Actually, anger seems to often go away on its own here in Thailand. This has to do with the laid back/friendly nature of so many Thais. Not like in the West where you keep running into people who make your blood boil. After feeling angry here, it seems that a relaxing situation/smile are not far away.

Too bad for the ladies though; that monthly deal must be tough.

[camerata]

Fights with partners (e.g. with locals who go quiet), bad driving, misuse of lifts, blah blah blah

Westerners get worked up about things that just don't effect our hosts. Most of us who have been here a while probably need to learn to chill out/jai yan yan/worry about something important.

Or just practise Buddhism. Once we look at things in the right way, those irritating little things won't bother us anymore. It's just a matter of investigating exactly why we get angry in those situations.

[soic]

I've learned to categorize everything. I have two categories.

1. Those things that I can do something about, and attempt to change.

2. Those things that I can't do anything about, no matter how angry, or worked up I get.

When I feel my blood pumping I immediately pull up my mental category list and put it in either one or the other. If I can do something... I go full tilt to do it, if I can't, it goes in number 2 and I say what the F@#K! I don't like to waste my feelings on things that I can't do anything about.

If I feel myself getting angry, I try to go off somewhere by myself, I know that I don't like myself when I'm angry and I know that others like me even less when I'm angry. I too like the baht idea...

I rarely get too worked up about anything though. I've been fortunate, I've been blessed with a lot patience. I found a sure fire cure for road rage... Before I leave the house I convince myself that I'll be the only sane person on the roadway. I know that everyone that drives on the roads except me are the craziest and most idiotic people in the world. Those kind of people can do anything at anytime and for no reason. That way, when someone does something stupid... I already expect it to happen. I mean you can't get mad at a fish for swimming, that's just what they do.

[Alreadyinuse]

I've learned to categorize everything. I have two categories.

1. Those things that I can do something about, and attempt to change.

2. Those things that I can't do anything about, no matter how angry, or worked up I get.

When I feel my blood pumping I immediately pull up my mental category list and put it in either one or the other. If I can do something... I go full tilt to do it, if I can't, it goes in number 2 and I say what the F@#K! I don't like to waste my feelings on things that I can't do anything about.

If I feel myself getting angry, I try to go off somewhere by myself, I know that I don't like myself when I'm angry and I know that others like me even less when I'm angry. I too like the baht idea...

I rarely get too worked up about anything though. I've been fortunate, I've been blessed with a lot patience. I found a sure fire cure for road rage... Before I leave the house I convince myself that I'll be the only sane person on the roadway. I know that everyone that drives on the roads except me are the craziest and most idiotic people in the world. Those kind of people can do anything at anytime and for no reason. That way, when someone does something stupid... I already expect it to happen. I mean you can't get mad at a fish for swimming, that's just what they do.

Exactly, easy isnt it?

I wish that Kayo was in here so that he can see I am not the only one that "categorizes" things

[John K]

From my experience people get angry when they don’t understand or don’t think out a situation. I have seen some rough people who have done significant jail time because of their anger. A good method is simply think things out. If you are mad a someone because they did something wrong, who is to blame, the person for making a mistake or the person who failed to give proper instructions to that person?

[SamuiJens]

"prober instruction to the person"? You MEEN YOU CAN, your way?

Just wondering.

Have a nice evening

[Ijustwannateach]

Sometimes I just shake my head slightly and think, "oh, that poor person. They're not even smart enough to....." That usually changes my feeling from anger to pity.

I also try to pre-empt situations which will be frustrating by (politely) reading body language- this is important for Thais, who do not like to admit they do not know something they should know- and accepting that I will have to ask another person rather than pressing or embarrassing the incompetent one.

[Ijustwannateach]

And regarding angry partners- I don't live with anyone- always insist a partner has his own place- so there's always somewhere for them to go if they misbehave (or if I do).

[Alreadyinuse]

Since we are all responsible for our own actions, we should also realise that every actions give birth to a re-action, we should concentrate on the final outcome. If we after all, cave in we have to bear the consequences and they might become nasty.

After all Thai mentality or just pure decent human behaviour, you think and evaluate the situation before you take appropriate action. This will develop a well deserved respect from other and within.

No answer is patented and therefore there are many rights. What is working for you might not work for another. There is no wrong or right. If you dont find yourself tearing everything down in your path, go for it.

Edited August 16, 2006 by Alreadyinuse

[thedude]

i find meditation and masterbation particularly helpful.

[h90]

I don't get angry at all, I think I nearly did in my life. I just get frustrated...

[John K]

"prober instruction to the person"? You MEEN YOU CAN, your way?

Just wondering.

Have a nice evening

Often I have seen people in management who just lose it when a subordinate makes an error. The reaction was to blame the subordinate but the fault often lied with management from not properly training subordinates or over delegation of work to them. There is a saying “When ever you point your finger at someone, three of your fingers are pointing back at you.”

[SamuiJens]

"prober instruction to the person"? You MEEN YOU CAN, your way?

Just wondering.

Have a nice evening

Often I have seen people in management who just lose it when a subordinate makes an error. The reaction was to blame the subordinate but the fault often lied with management from not properly training subordinates or over delegation of work to them. There is a saying “When ever you point your finger at someone, three of your fingers are pointing back at you.”

No, seriously, Jonn K, I've hear some of what you do for a living and was interested to hear some examples, and its not to debat it, just pm me a few samples of your expierences. They will be appreciated.

Thanks

[Cigarette Burn]

I go and punch and kick some bags about at the gym, it's always nice to get your ass kicked going toe to toe with someone in the ring. Kinda reminds you why you should keep your cool with strangers when your out in the street.

Edited August 16, 2006 by Cigarette Burn

[kayo]

I've learned to categorize everything. I have two categories.

1. Those things that I can do something about, and attempt to change.

2. Those things that I can't do anything about, no matter how angry, or worked up I get.

Exactly, easy isnt it?

I wish that Kayo was in here so that he can see I am not the only one that "categorizes" things

Lol! Careful what you wish for....

Nonetheless, good thread here!

I actually partially agree with soic on this form of dealing with frustrating, stressful or otherwise anger inducing situations.

Even take it farther by trying to quantify everything in the second option, just to avoid the stress.

I have been an angry person many time in my life, more so in my "younger" youth than the years since I´ve lived in Thailand.

I was fairly integrated (insofar as poss) working equal jobs with many thais, and therefore felt I learnt a lot.

Deep Breathing, and silence.

They are what, time after time, save me from falling into anything perilous.

Most fights are not worth it. Most stress is not worth my time or attention. And I suffer fools only because not suffering them is not worth it. I will not be angered easily anymore by OTHER´s stupidity or thievery, or any other sort of deriliction of humane duty.

As far as I am concerned, if somebody behaves unjustly towards me, it is their unjustness, and I will not, generally, stoop or lower myself to that level.

That´s the theory.

[John K]

"prober instruction to the person"? You MEEN YOU CAN, your way?

Just wondering.

Have a nice evening

Often I have seen people in management who just lose it when a subordinate makes an error. The reaction was to blame the subordinate but the fault often lied with management from not properly training subordinates or over delegation of work to them. There is a saying “When ever you point your finger at someone, three of your fingers are pointing back at you.”

No, seriously, Jonn K, I've hear some of what you do for a living and was interested to hear some examples, and its not to debat it, just pm me a few samples of your expierences. They will be appreciated.

Thanks

I have elected to post it here and not a PM because many can benefit from just understanding the triggers without seeking professional help.

There are too many to list but the reasons underneath most typically are being short sighted and not seeing thinks from other perspectives. It lends to a feeling of lack of control of a situation. It is a series of causes and effects that leads to anger and rage. One particular example was a person who completely lost it and smashed the windshield of his car with a baseball bat because it ran out of gas. His anger was costing him money and that made him even more angry. So there was a need to step in and break the cycle.

The first step in controlling anger is identifying the repeated triggers. Deal with the cause and not the effect.

The second step is understanding the triggers and see if there is a way to apply change that will cause them not trigger an event. Part of this is understanding that some things you can’t control such as the weather. If driving in Bangkok makes you angry, then take public transportation. You can walk from one end of the city to the other on the tops of taxies, buses and whatever without touching the ground so saying you can’t find transportation is bull. Then during the time you are being shuttled around you can put your mind to other tasks of your choice.

The third step is look at stress as a fuel for anger. Learn to deal with your stress. Sex, sports, or other enjoyable physical activities release endorphins and that lowers the fire under the pot so to speak. All work and no play is simply bad.

The steps above will not eliminate the anger but will move you away from the tipping point.

The people who feel the steps above can’t or won’t work are the ones that should seek professional help before it lands them in court or jail.

[kayo]

Good post.

Good signature too.

[kerryk]

I was driving in a small town resort area in Florida. The per capita bank deposits are among the highest in the world. I was going to a book store to read the morning papers from out of town and have an espresso.

I was driving on the right, the same side as the bookstore in a late model Volvo. There was an expensive Mercedes driving on the other side of the road, stopped and waiting to turn into a open parking spot on my side of the road.

The Mercedes was waiting for traffic to clear before he crossed the road.

I saw him waiting to turn. I could have pulled around the block and parked. I could have driven around the block another time waiting for another parking spot to open up.

Perhaps there are people who think driving a $20,000 Volvo is not much different from driving a $50,000 dollar Mercedes.

At the time it went through my mind that I was tired of rich people, so I pulled into the parking spot and walked into the book store.

The older gentleman in the Mercedes eventually parked and followed me into the book store and started yelling at me.

At first I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack and was concerned for him. But as he kept yelling me I got peeved. And I stood up and told him to call the police if he had a problem, I even offered him my cell phone. But he persisted in yelling at me for my ungentlemanly behavior.

He was expecting a right. I could tell from his posture. So I popped him in the nose with a short left jab. It wasn’t a hard punch. Just enough to break his nose and start some minor bleeding. I then left the bookstore. I felt bad about the experience. I realized I had overstayed my life in the West.

I came to Thailand. I have had similar experiences here but have refrained from punching anyone because I think ten Thais will appear out of the darkness and beat me up.

I find my fear of ten Thais appearing out of nowhere has been a very good influence on my life.

I have not punched anyone since I have lived in Thailand.

Now it is just water off of my back. I have no deeds to do no promises to keep. I am just in Thailand feeling groovy.

[soic]

I was driving in a small town resort area in Florida. The per capita bank deposits are among the highest in the world. I was going to a book store to read the morning papers from out of town and have an espresso.

I was driving on the right, the same side as the bookstore in a late model Volvo. There was an expensive Mercedes driving on the other side of the road, stopped and waiting to turn into a open parking spot on my side of the road.

The Mercedes was waiting for traffic to clear before he crossed the road.

I saw him waiting to turn. I could have pulled around the block and parked. I could have driven around the block another time waiting for another parking spot to open up.

Perhaps there are people who think driving a $20,000 Volvo is not much different from driving a $50,000 dollar Mercedes.

At the time it went through my mind that I was tired of rich people, so I pulled into the parking spot and walked into the book store.

The older gentleman in the Mercedes eventually parked and followed me into the book store and started yelling at me.

At first I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack and was concerned for him. But as he kept yelling me I got peeved. And I stood up and told him to call the police if he had a problem, I even offered him my cell phone. But he persisted in yelling at me for my ungentlemanly behavior.

He was expecting a right. I could tell from his posture. So I popped him in the nose with a short left jab. It wasn’t a hard punch. Just enough to break his nose and start some minor bleeding. I then left the bookstore. I felt bad about the experience. I realized I had overstayed my life in the West.

I came to Thailand. I have had similar experiences here but have refrained from punching anyone because I think ten Thais will appear out of the darkness and beat me up.

I find my fear of ten Thais appearing out of nowhere has been a very good influence on my life.

I have not punched anyone since I have lived in Thailand.

Now it is just water off of my back. I have no deeds to do no promises to keep. I am just in Thailand feeling groovy.

Wow! I wouldn't call that exactly anger management. I laud your new tactics of avoiding confrontation in Thailand, but as far as the behavior in Florida. I'm afraid that you were looking for trouble there. You admitted that you knew that guy was waiting for that spot. I'm afraid that you instigated that one. Fear is a good reason as any to change aggressive behavior in Thailand, but if I were you, I'd look a little deeper within. I'm not casting judgement, just offering a little observation. Going to Thailand hasn't changed your temper, you are just more guarded out of self preservational instinct. What's going to happen if you let your guard down again?

[Mossfinn]

What's going to happen if you let your guard down again?

Hmmm........

[kerryk]

I was driving in a small town resort area in Florida. The per capita bank deposits are among the highest in the world. I was going to a book store to read the morning papers from out of town and have an espresso.

I was driving on the right, the same side as the bookstore in a late model Volvo. There was an expensive Mercedes driving on the other side of the road, stopped and waiting to turn into a open parking spot on my side of the road.

The Mercedes was waiting for traffic to clear before he crossed the road.

I saw him waiting to turn. I could have pulled around the block and parked. I could have driven around the block another time waiting for another parking spot to open up.

Perhaps there are people who think driving a $20,000 Volvo is not much different from driving a $50,000 dollar Mercedes.

At the time it went through my mind that I was tired of rich people, so I pulled into the parking spot and walked into the book store.

The older gentleman in the Mercedes eventually parked and followed me into the book store and started yelling at me.

At first I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack and was concerned for him. But as he kept yelling me I got peeved. And I stood up and told him to call the police if he had a problem, I even offered him my cell phone. But he persisted in yelling at me for my ungentlemanly behavior.

He was expecting a right. I could tell from his posture. So I popped him in the nose with a short left jab. It wasn’t a hard punch. Just enough to break his nose and start some minor bleeding. I then left the bookstore. I felt bad about the experience. I realized I had overstayed my life in the West.

I came to Thailand. I have had similar experiences here but have refrained from punching anyone because I think ten Thais will appear out of the darkness and beat me up.

I find my fear of ten Thais appearing out of nowhere has been a very good influence on my life.

I have not punched anyone since I have lived in Thailand.

Now it is just water off of my back. I have no deeds to do no promises to keep. I am just in Thailand feeling groovy.

Wow! I wouldn't call that exactly anger management. I laud your new tactics of avoiding confrontation in Thailand, but as far as the behavior in Florida. I'm afraid that you were looking for trouble there. You admitted that you knew that guy was waiting for that spot. I'm afraid that you instigated that one. Fear is a good reason as any to change aggressive behavior in Thailand, but if I were you, I'd look a little deeper within. I'm not casting judgement, just offering a little observation. Going to Thailand hasn't changed your temper, you are just more guarded out of self preservational instinct. What's going to happen if you let your guard down again?

Actually I think you are being judgmental. If I were you I would look a little deeper within. I would ask myself why, without walking a mile in my moccasins why you would have answers to anger management in Thailand. Do you live in Thailand? Have you had personal insults thrown at you in Thailand? What would you do if a cab driver calls your wife a whore?

[Tippaporn]

I have elected to post it here and not a PM because many can benefit from just understanding the triggers without seeking professional help.

There are too many to list but the reasons underneath most typically are being short sighted and not seeing thinks from other perspectives. It lends to a feeling of lack of control of a situation. It is a series of causes and effects that leads to anger and rage. One particular example was a person who completely lost it and smashed the windshield of his car with a baseball bat because it ran out of gas. His anger was costing him money and that made him even more angry. So there was a need to step in and break the cycle.

The first step in controlling anger is identifying the repeated triggers. Deal with the cause and not the effect.

The second step is understanding the triggers and see if there is a way to apply change that will cause them not trigger an event. Part of this is understanding that some things you can’t control such as the weather. If driving in Bangkok makes you angry, then take public transportation. You can walk from one end of the city to the other on the tops of taxies, buses and whatever without touching the ground so saying you can’t find transportation is bull. Then during the time you are being shuttled around you can put your mind to other tasks of your choice.

The third step is look at stress as a fuel for anger. Learn to deal with your stress. Sex, sports, or other enjoyable physical activities release endorphins and that lowers the fire under the pot so to speak. All work and no play is simply bad.

The steps above will not eliminate the anger but will move you away from the tipping point.

The people who feel the steps above can’t or won’t work are the ones that should seek professional help before it lands them in court or jail.

Good post, John. But rather than heeding your advice above I simply stared at your avatar for one minute while repeating, "I am happy, I am happy . . . " Worked great!

What I'd like to point out is that emotions follow your thoughts. Try it for yourself. Pay attention to how your emotions reflect what's going on upstairs. Not only do your emotions follow your thoughts but to a great degree so does your imagination.

Since it is always your choice as to what you think then therefore it becomes your choice as to how you want to feel. In truth, no one makes anyone feel any which way. Thoughts, emotions, and imagination are tools. Emotions serve as an indicator as to the thoughts you're entertaining. If the emotions don't feel good then they're letting you know that changes within yourself need to be made.

While this sounds simplistic, well, it is. As within any sincere attempt to make changes it does require effort, though. And that effort is to take inventory of the contents of your mind and to begin questioning what has true value and what doesn't. Value = happiness, or those emotions which feel good. The rest can be disposed of.

[soic]

I was driving in a small town resort area in Florida. The per capita bank deposits are among the highest in the world. I was going to a book store to read the morning papers from out of town and have an espresso.

I was driving on the right, the same side as the bookstore in a late model Volvo. There was an expensive Mercedes driving on the other side of the road, stopped and waiting to turn into a open parking spot on my side of the road.

The Mercedes was waiting for traffic to clear before he crossed the road.

I saw him waiting to turn. I could have pulled around the block and parked. I could have driven around the block another time waiting for another parking spot to open up.

Perhaps there are people who think driving a $20,000 Volvo is not much different from driving a $50,000 dollar Mercedes.

At the time it went through my mind that I was tired of rich people, so I pulled into the parking spot and walked into the book store.

The older gentleman in the Mercedes eventually parked and followed me into the book store and started yelling at me.

At first I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack and was concerned for him. But as he kept yelling me I got peeved. And I stood up and told him to call the police if he had a problem, I even offered him my cell phone. But he persisted in yelling at me for my ungentlemanly behavior.

He was expecting a right. I could tell from his posture. So I popped him in the nose with a short left jab. It wasn’t a hard punch. Just enough to break his nose and start some minor bleeding. I then left the bookstore. I felt bad about the experience. I realized I had overstayed my life in the West.

I came to Thailand. I have had similar experiences here but have refrained from punching anyone because I think ten Thais will appear out of the darkness and beat me up.

I find my fear of ten Thais appearing out of nowhere has been a very good influence on my life.

I have not punched anyone since I have lived in Thailand.

Now it is just water off of my back. I have no deeds to do no promises to keep. I am just in Thailand feeling groovy.

Wow! I wouldn't call that exactly anger management. I laud your new tactics of avoiding confrontation in Thailand, but as far as the behavior in Florida. I'm afraid that you were looking for trouble there. You admitted that you knew that guy was waiting for that spot. I'm afraid that you instigated that one. Fear is a good reason as any to change aggressive behavior in Thailand, but if I were you, I'd look a little deeper within. I'm not casting judgement, just offering a little observation. Going to Thailand hasn't changed your temper, you are just more guarded out of self preservational instinct. What's going to happen if you let your guard down again?

Actually I think you are being judgmental. If I were you I would look a little deeper within. I would ask myself why, without walking a mile in my moccasins why you would have answers to anger management in Thailand. Do you live in Thailand? Have you had personal insults thrown at you in Thailand? What would you do if a cab driver calls your wife a whore?

As a matter of fact, I do live in Thailand. Suggesting you look deeper within yourself isn't accusatory, it's suggesting that you look at yourself and make your own judgements. As for insults being thrown at me in Thailand, I can't say as I have experienced that. I haven't done anything to anyone to cause them to do that. As for someone calling my wife a whore, why would he? But should they... I'd deal with it. I'd caution him not to talk like that and suggest that he apologize. I wouldn't hit him without provocation, I value my life in Thailand and wouldn't want to be blacklisted for attacking a Thai. I would also have to consider that fact that the greater percentage of females with farangs usually are prostitutes in much of Bangkok and Pattaya, not all, but quite a few, it would be a vulgar misconception, but understandable.

I also pick my fights and enemies... I'm a little confused though... You were a little concerned about the "older gentleman" in the bookstore and was afraid that the poor old guy was going to have a heart attack, so you punched him in the nose? What would have happened if you weren't concerned for his health? Beat him unconcious? You walked out in the end, couldn't you have walked out before the punch? I only ask you... Oh and another thing, I lauded your behavior in Thailand, not questioned it, fear of 10 Thai men attacking you is as good a reason as any not to fight in Thailand. I merely asked what you what would happen if you let your guard down and lost the fear of those 10 men.

[Scott]

Anger management that's easy--drugs and alcohol. Works wonders.

Now I have to get back to the subform "I drink too much."

[SamuiJens]

"prober instruction to the person"? You MEEN YOU CAN, your way?

Just wondering.

Have a nice evening

Often I have seen people in management who just lose it when a subordinate makes an error. The reaction was to blame the subordinate but the fault often lied with management from not properly training subordinates or over delegation of work to them. There is a saying “When ever you point your finger at someone, three of your fingers are pointing back at you.”

No, seriously, Jonn K, I've hear some of what you do for a living and was interested to hear some examples, and its not to debat it, just pm me a few samples of your expierences. They will be appreciated.

Thanks

I have elected to post it here and not a PM because many can benefit from just understanding the triggers without seeking professional help.

There are too many to list but the reasons underneath most typically are being short sighted and not seeing thinks from other perspectives. It lends to a feeling of lack of control of a situation. It is a series of causes and effects that leads to anger and rage. One particular example was a person who completely lost it and smashed the windshield of his car with a baseball bat because it ran out of gas. His anger was costing him money and that made him even more angry. So there was a need to step in and break the cycle.

The first step in controlling anger is identifying the repeated triggers. Deal with the cause and not the effect.

The second step is understanding the triggers and see if there is a way to apply change that will cause them not trigger an event. Part of this is understanding that some things you can’t control such as the weather. If driving in Bangkok makes you angry, then take public transportation. You can walk from one end of the city to the other on the tops of taxies, buses and whatever without touching the ground so saying you can’t find transportation is bull. Then during the time you are being shuttled around you can put your mind to other tasks of your choice.

The third step is look at stress as a fuel for anger. Learn to deal with your stress. Sex, sports, or other enjoyable physical activities release endorphins and that lowers the fire under the pot so to speak. All work and no play is simply bad.

The steps above will not eliminate the anger but will move you away from the tipping point.

The people who feel the steps above can’t or won’t work are the ones that should seek professional help before it lands them in court or jail.

Of course, you'r right about that. Alot here could benifit from this.

[Weatherhead]

Anger management that's easy--drugs and alcohol. Works wonders.

Now I have to get back to the subform "I drink too much."

Sex is better than drugs and alcohol, it's kind of legal 2.

[kerryk]

I was driving in a small town resort area in Florida. The per capita bank deposits are among the highest in the world. I was going to a book store to read the morning papers from out of town and have an espresso.

I was driving on the right, the same side as the bookstore in a late model Volvo. There was an expensive Mercedes driving on the other side of the road, stopped and waiting to turn into a open parking spot on my side of the road.

The Mercedes was waiting for traffic to clear before he crossed the road.

I saw him waiting to turn. I could have pulled around the block and parked. I could have driven around the block another time waiting for another parking spot to open up.

Perhaps there are people who think driving a $20,000 Volvo is not much different from driving a $50,000 dollar Mercedes.

At the time it went through my mind that I was tired of rich people, so I pulled into the parking spot and walked into the book store.

The older gentleman in the Mercedes eventually parked and followed me into the book store and started yelling at me.

At first I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack and was concerned for him. But as he kept yelling me I got peeved. And I stood up and told him to call the police if he had a problem, I even offered him my cell phone. But he persisted in yelling at me for my ungentlemanly behavior.

He was expecting a right. I could tell from his posture. So I popped him in the nose with a short left jab. It wasn’t a hard punch. Just enough to break his nose and start some minor bleeding. I then left the bookstore. I felt bad about the experience. I realized I had overstayed my life in the West.

I came to Thailand. I have had similar experiences here but have refrained from punching anyone because I think ten Thais will appear out of the darkness and beat me up.

I find my fear of ten Thais appearing out of nowhere has been a very good influence on my life.

I have not punched anyone since I have lived in Thailand.

Now it is just water off of my back. I have no deeds to do no promises to keep. I am just in Thailand feeling groovy.

Wow! I wouldn't call that exactly anger management. I laud your new tactics of avoiding confrontation in Thailand, but as far as the behavior in Florida. I'm afraid that you were looking for trouble there. You admitted that you knew that guy was waiting for that spot. I'm afraid that you instigated that one. Fear is a good reason as any to change aggressive behavior in Thailand, but if I were you, I'd look a little deeper within. I'm not casting judgement, just offering a little observation. Going to Thailand hasn't changed your temper, you are just more guarded out of self preservational instinct. What's going to happen if you let your guard down again?

Actually I think you are being judgmental. If I were you I would look a little deeper within. I would ask myself why, without walking a mile in my moccasins why you would have answers to anger management in Thailand. Do you live in Thailand? Have you had personal insults thrown at you in Thailand? What would you do if a cab driver calls your wife a whore?

As a matter of fact, I do live in Thailand. Suggesting you look deeper within yourself isn't accusatory, it's suggesting that you look at yourself and make your own judgements. As for insults being thrown at me in Thailand, I can't say as I have experienced that. I haven't done anything to anyone to cause them to do that. As for someone calling my wife a whore, why would he? But should they... I'd deal with it. I'd caution him not to talk like that and suggest that he apologize. I wouldn't hit him without provocation, I value my life in Thailand and wouldn't want to be blacklisted for attacking a Thai. I would also have to consider that fact that the greater percentage of females with farangs usually are prostitutes in much of Bangkok and Pattaya, not all, but quite a few, it would be a vulgar misconception, but understandable.

I also pick my fights and enemies... I'm a little confused though... You were a little concerned about the "older gentleman" in the bookstore and was afraid that the poor old guy was going to have a heart attack, so you punched him in the nose? What would have happened if you weren't concerned for his health? Beat him unconcious? You walked out in the end, couldn't you have walked out before the punch? I only ask you... Oh and another thing, I lauded your behavior in Thailand, not questioned it, fear of 10 Thai men attacking you is as good a reason as any not to fight in Thailand. I merely asked what you what would happen if you let your guard down and lost the fear of those 10 men.

I should have stated in the beginning that I was angry in the West not just at the old guy. I lived in a tourist area in Florida where for six month a year the rich “snowbirds” would flock to our beautiful small town and act as obnoxious as they acted in their Northern home towns. There is a song there, “If it is the snow bird season why can’t we shoot em.”

Parking spaces are first come first serve. The old guy thought he should get the parking space because he had a big rich car and he felt deference should be paid to him because he had money. He also felt he should be allowed to verbally assault me as he was a rich guy. He showed an extreme lack of control which at first I thought would harm him but then I realized he was turning violent. The more he yelled the more he invaded my personal space. I did not beat him unconscious I only gave him one short jab to the nose to bring him to his senses and walked out to avoid further confrontation.

I find I am more tolerant in Thailand because I am more relaxed. Thailand seems to make more sense to me. If you are caught by police for speeding in Chicago 50% of the time $100 stuck behind your drivers license gets you off the hook. In Thailand 100% of the time it works. In non election years prostitution in the US is legal, in election years everybody gets busted. When Bill Clinton was the Attorney General in Arkansas everything was legal when he left everything was illegal again. In Illinois it is OK to bribe a health and building inspector but in Colorado it is not. In Thailand you can joke about the differences between the sexes or comment about a woman’s appearance in the States this is grounds for a sexual harassment suite. This was all very confusing to me. In Thailand I expect people to cut in front of me in a queue in the West this would have bothered me. In Thailand I expect taxi drivers to try to scam me in the West this would have bothered me. In Thailand if I go into shady bars I expect someone to put a sedative in my drink in the West this would have upset me. In Thailand I expect rich people to get out of jail free, in California it bothered me that OJ walked.

In Thailand I expect tuk tuk drivers and taxi drivers to be drunk late at night. When one drunk one insulted my lady she hauled him out of the cab and punched him out to the cheers of the crowd who were watching (she is not a small woman). I just wanted to get another taxi. I realize in Thailand when most Thais see a Farang with a Thai woman they think she is paid and it does not bother me. However this does not happen to me often because we normally go out with a variety of people that are incongruous with the pay for play bunch.

There has been many changes in the world in the last 40 years. Although Thailand has changed it has not changed as much as America has changed.

If I go back to my memories of Thailand, Singapore and America 40 years both Singapore and America seem like different worlds then and now. I much preferred America 40 years ago. However I like Thailand more now than I did when I first came here in the 1960’s.

The changes that have taken place in America made me angry and discontented.

In Thailand the medical care is better than 40 years ago. Flood control is much better. The food is much better. Infrastructure is better. Electrical supply is much better. Transportation is much better. The women are prettier. Housing is much better. Illegal drugs use is far less and illegal drug transportation is far less than it was. Crime is less than it was. Compare the above things to the West and you have some idea why I was angry living in the West.

Singapore has also improved but I am not the kind of guy who would trade security for freedom so I couldn’t live there.

I don’t have to guard against my temper in Thailand because I am not angry living here. My anger management was moving to Thailand. I am not a violent man, other than when I play hockey. I owned businesses in the slums of Houston, Tampa, Detroit and St. Louis. I was afraid at night when I took the cash to deposit it. I wore a Kevlar vest and carried a weapon.