Shocking Difference Between Thai and Farang Toddlers

[shadmo63]

OP - "Now my son still has to learn to use the potty and how to feed himself whereas this Aussie kids mind is totally free of that burden already and thus his development will be exponentially more.....yada yada yada "

So you think your child is burdened with the task of using the potty and feeding himself? Sorry but there is no evidence whatsoever that you can influence how and when these milestones are achieved, let alone evidence that it frees up a child's mind.

You obviously care about your sons development - that in itself will have more effect on him in the long run than any strategy you put in place to 'unburden' his mind. Your son is growing up in Thailand, but you want him to develop a farang mindset. I'd be careful of raising someone who doesn't fit into either culture; potentially a misfit who doesn't really belong anywhere. That is going to impact his future life much more than when he is potty trained, or feeding himself. These things are just minor milestones he'll reach when he's ready and totally insignificant in the big picture.

I already have two loog-kreung daughters raised in Australia. If I am to have another child here in Thailand I'll be raising them as Thai as much as possible. My faring ideas no doubt would burden them enough here without insecure parenting that judges them against this or that ideal or milestone or peer achievement. I guarantee you'll end up with them disengaging from you as teenagers and young adults, and then you'll have something really tangible to worry about.

So just where do you get these advanced potty training classes, anyway?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Which kids a the happiest?

Which kids interact best with their peer

Good Point

Emotional and social intelligence is, I believe, more important.

This has been answered already..

Most of the Thai kids are crying or wandering round in a daze while the little Aussie kid talks to them or tries to engage with them or goes off to play on the slides.

The Aussie kid is miles ahead in interaction and happiness...and I do mean miles ahead...unavoidably in your face obvious...that is why i raising it.

Australia has the worst schooling in the western world.

I can spot Australian posters in a second, they confuse loose with lose (etc.), and never learn from their mistakes.

I have several Australian friends who freely admit they left school illiterate.

You are talking about one student in one school (and it sounds like a pretty crappy school), the result of educated and caring parents.

If you were to encounter my kids in the same situation, you would be concluding Thai children to be the best.

It's not about the child's racial background, nationality, or school, it's about their parents and the home environment those parents provide.

Edited January 21, 2015 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Oceanbat]

Which kids a the happiest?

Which kids interact best with their peer

Good Point

Emotional and social intelligence is, I believe, more important.

This has been answered already..

Most of the Thai kids are crying or wandering round in a daze while the little Aussie kid talks to them or tries to engage with them or goes off to play on the slides.

The Aussie kid is miles ahead in interaction and happiness...and I do mean miles ahead...unavoidably in your face obvious...that is why i raising it.

Australia has the worst schooling in the western world.

I can spot Australian posters in a second, they confuse loose with lose (etc.), and never learn from their mistakes.

I have several Australian friends who freely admit they left school illiterate.

You are talking about one student in one school (and it sounds like a pretty crappy school), the result of educated and caring parents.

If you were to encounter my kids in the same situation, you would be concluding Thai children to be the best.

It's not about the child's racial background, nationality, or school, it's about their parents and the home environment those parents provide.

The burden of a booming resources industry. When you can leave leave school at 16 and earn more than a surgeon something is out of whack. We will be dealing with the fallout for quite a while.

OB

[edwarda909]

what is leukrung?

[yellow1red1]

ATF...thanks for your kind comments...he is at Kindergarten, there is no homework or school work..basically just structured play...but thanks anyway for your deep insight.

Thanks bkkgooner...yes I am hoping the school will straighten things out a bit for our son and I know what you mean about the spoon feeding, shocking at that age really and yeah the sleeping with the parents or grandparents cannot be good although I know it is widely done here...they just dont want to seem to invest the time now to fix a much bigger problem later.

Thankfully my wife is starting to see the reality now and we will not make the same mistakes with our second son (3 months old now). She is actually pretty amazed at the Farang kid and seeing him for the first time has made her realise the reality of what I have been telling her about parenting and the Western style of structure, discipline and independance.....honestly I think she is quite shocked now she is seeing it for the first time.

[my wife is starting to see the reality] [for the first time has made her realise the reality of what I have been telling her about parenting] <, This is what i read in the o.p. , between the lines, but that's a whole other story! 555

[pokerkid]

I said to her from the very beginning that the problems that arise from all this (sleepless nights, anarchy at feeding time etc etc) will be her problem and not mine and indeed I stick by my guns....after 8:30pm (way past bedtime for a toddler anyway) I a retreat to my man cave and the rest is up to her and same for most things...when it starts getting out of control (for reasons that are claerly attributable to the Thai parenting style) i walk away.

you stick to your guns, retreat to your mancave and walk away .

wow, what a way to raise kids, just walk away when things get tough....

[louse1953]

international schools do great jobs at teaching toddlers to be independent I wouldn't worry about it too much also the kid is growing up with two teachers who presumably teach at an international school and know this stuff inside out.

Thais have a general problem with teaching independence to little ones and that is something that myself and my wife are trying to instill in our 2 year old just little things like making him feed himself, taking his plate to the sink, washing his own hands and brushing his teeth, all of those little things make a difference. i remember when I first settled here my five year old step son was being spoon fed - it was actually disgusting watching it happen I had to really put my foot down and stamp it out quickly he also slept with his grandmother until the age of 9 ( what the <deleted>). In fairness though you should see some of the Thai kids at Harrow and places like that they are miles ahead of government school toddlers just because they are being taught to be independent.

The kids in my village use my wifi.After plastic bottles and lolly paper left everywhere,the next day i told them i am not their mother,rubbish in the bin or i change the password.Remarkable improvement and mums tell me they clean up at home also.Good kids,just need some guidance from parents.

[redandyellow]

Its a fairly small sample size, to blanket policy..

signed,

One

[louse1953]

Which kids a the happiest?

Which kids interact best with their peer

Good Point

Emotional and social intelligence is, I believe, more important.

This has been answered already..

Most of the Thai kids are crying or wandering round in a daze while the little Aussie kid talks to them or tries to engage with them or goes off to play on the slides.

The Aussie kid is miles ahead in interaction and happiness...and I do mean miles ahead...unavoidably in your face obvious...that is why i raising it.

Australia has the worst schooling in the western world.

I can spot Australian posters in a second, they confuse loose with lose (etc.), and never learn from their mistakes.

I have several Australian friends who freely admit they left school illiterate.

You are talking about one student in one school (and it sounds like a pretty crappy school), the result of educated and caring parents.

If you were to encounter my kids in the same situation, you would be concluding Thai children to be the best.

It's not about the child's racial background, nationality, or school, it's about their parents and the home environment those parents provide.

We never make mistakes and you are very lose with the truth.

[shadmo63]

AOA said - "Australia has the worst schooling in the western world.

I can spot Australian posters in a second, they confuse loose with lose (etc.), and never learn from their mistakes.

I have several Australian friends who freely admit they left school illiterate."

Oh come on AOA, Australian education system is slipping but is still way ahead of America. In secondary school PISA rankings of Maths, Science and Reading. 19th, 16th and 13th v 36th, 28th and 24th, even accounting for all our 'loose' friends. (I thought that it was just the standard TV way to spell 'lose'.) Drives me mad every time I see it actually, but you're not supposed to comment on that &lt;deleted&gt; here. And here's me always assuming it's an American. What an eejet I am!

But I won't argue with you about university standards seeing as the US dominate the top 50 unis on the planet.

[redandyellow]

The shocking difference to me is how much Thais spoil the children.. and the boys grow up to be men.. learning to never take no for an answer..

[ocejanic]

we have lived opposite a Thai family with a child of the same age as our's (15 months - I asked them). From our balcony we could ( and would) watch their everyday life. Since their door was open during daylight, we could also peep into their living room. We could also hear ( Though not understand their talking). So for a month we had a pretty good insight into how they interacted and how they would pass time.

I can honestly say that after witnessing the boy's behaviour, we thought our daughter must either be a unique miracle of wisdom, overdeveloped mind and understanding, OR the boy must have some severe mental issues.

I figure, since by comparison to other non-Thai kids (Europeans) our daughter is quite normal in her development, it's the Thai boy who lacks development. But seeing how he is brought up, how the mother and grandmother interact with him, I put the blame on them and not to any biological/genetic precondition. These adults put virtually NOTHING into the poor child's daily life but food. Every attempt to discover anything around him by himself is discouraged. He is either sat down on the floor to eat, to watch silly TV shows, or watch his grandmother prepare food. We pittied him and condemned his parent's lack of responsibility very much.

Maybe that is just an exceptional case, but it's what we saw every day.

Edited January 21, 2015 by ocejanic

[spidermike007]

You are doing an enormous disservice to your child by not imposing discipline. You cannot let him run your life. It will manifest itself in so many ugly ways, later on, if not already. If your wife does not have the wherewithal to raise a child properly, you must step up and bring down the hammer now. It is not too late. But, it will be soon. You will have an undisciplined nitwit, who is a spoiled thug on your hands very soon. It is up to you. You cannot allow him to run over you. You cannot allow him to run the house. It is your house, not his. Man up. Raise your child correctly. Be strong, and firm, and he will appreciate it later. Kids need limits. Impose them, for Gods sake!

You have to realize kids are similar to dogs, in a sense that they are constantly testing your limits. The worst thing a parent can do, is to not show them what the limits are. You are not simply there to feed and clothe the kid. He needs far more guidance than that. I see many Thai kids that are like wild beasts. Especially in the movie theaters. I do not know how many conversations I have had with Thai parents, during the movies, about their wild monkey children. Absolutely no sense of respect, nor of proper behavior, on the part of the parents or the kids. But, who is ultimately to blame for that?

[spidermike007]

The shocking difference to me is how much Thais spoil the children.. and the boys grow up to be men.. learning to never take no for an answer..

The boys need to be told from a very early age, that your sister is smart, and that women run the country. You are nothing special at all, until you prove yourself. Being a boy means nothing. You ain't shit. Behave properly, show dignity and respect, and consideration, and work your butt off in life, and then you will be considered somebody. The last thing this world needs is another lazy man with an attitude of entitlement.

[Roadman]

I went to school with a kid whose parents were astrophysicists. He was always top of the class. He did particularly well in maths and physics. He is probably an astrophysicist himself now.

The point is the home environment is of paramount importance to a child's academic, emotional and behavioural development.

If the home life consists of the tv on full blast for 18 hours a day then many studies have shown this is not the best way.

Have not read the rest of the way as this starts to get to the point. The falang kids parents are both teachers so there is a definite tip as to why the kid is probably advanced. And if they are a pair of westerners in a foreign country I would be guessing that most of their time outside of their work environment would be spent even more enclosed to within their family environment with their child - more so than the normal environment that the other children are being raised in.

[jacko45k]

international schools do great jobs at teaching toddlers to be independent I wouldn't worry about it too much also the kid is growing up with two teachers who presumably teach at an international school and know this stuff inside out.

Thais have a general problem with teaching independence to little ones and that is something that myself and my wife are trying to instill in our 2 year old just little things like making him feed himself, taking his plate to the sink, washing his own hands and brushing his teeth, all of those little things make a difference. i remember when I first settled here my five year old step son was being spoon fed - it was actually disgusting watching it happen I had to really put my foot down and stamp it out quickly he also slept with his grandmother until the age of 9 ( what the <deleted>). In fairness though you should see some of the Thai kids at Harrow and places like that they are miles ahead of government school toddlers just because they are being taught to be independent.

Slightly off topic but I have often have I seen a Thai toddler running down a village street being chased by a mother carrying a bowl of rice and a loaded spoon.

I have had to bite my cheek a few times too seeing a child spoon fed when they should be doing it themselves when out.

Not my business, they do things differently. But when the nephew comes to stay and the Mrs objects to my pressing him to do things for himself, he seems to take to it quite well.

Edited January 21, 2015 by jacko45k

[Kitsune]

Thank you for your post

Thai parenting is now alarmingly non-existent it's shocking.Thai children are not raised they are bred and fed.

No eye contact, no talking except to scold, no play, no information about what is allowed or not allowed but shouted at/beaten if doing wrong, no learning about how to behave with other (apart from cutsy stuffs like the wai to make adults melt). Now with the generalization of tablet and tv set it's not getting any better

This will produce generations of not only retarded people but socially and emotionally challenged individuals.

[bowerboy]

Every attempt to discover anything around him by himself is discouraged. He is either sat down on the floor to eat, to watch silly TV shows, or watch his grandmother prepare food.

Thai parenting is now alarmingly non-existent it's shocking.Thai children are not raised they are bred and fed.

No eye contact, no talking except to scold, no play, no information about what is allowed or not allowed but shouted at/beaten if doing wrong, no learning about how to behave with other (apart from cutsy stuffs like the wai to make adults melt)

This is so very true...

My wife thinks she is being an amazing parent but as i tell her time and time again it is the law to feed and cloth a child...you must do that or you will go to prison if you do not....being a parent is everything else that you do.....mostly they don't get that, they think as long as they love the kid then that is all that is needed.

[bina]

not sure where u all live but my issan thai husband thinks that we spoil our children here (israel- ihave three now adult children, not his)- and from what i saw in his village, up til about the age of three, children were children. from age 3-4 they became little adults, having to do things around the house, yard, etc.

as far as developing creativity, curiousity etc then yes there are cultural differences. also, depending on who is raising the child, remember that if you are working physical labour, then you probably have less patience and energy to actively work with your child; and also many parents in asia consider the school to be the educator /punisher and it is the family's duty to love/clothe/feed the child but nothing beyond that as education comes from the school. this btw is also a mid eastern attitude, i notice it among the arab school kids adn from what their parents discuss with me (they are middle class non educated workers with moderate sized families), it is the teachers who are responsible for educating the child.

as far as independance, again, cultural expectations and whose to say what way is better. frankly, all my friends here always thought that the 'american ' style of child rearing that my parents used is 'cold, too strict, not fun, puts the adult before the child' where as here the adult is expected! to put the child first, children play in the salon, go to restaraunts, go basically everyhwere and are heard and seen, and are expected to be coo'd over and petted... i should show a video of our hotel lobby on a friday check in with all the families. americans would have a fit.

my husband finds the kids here impolite to adults, dont help with housework, come and go as they please, and he says they treat their parents as throwasay objects to be used as ATM's.

so possibly we are talkig about specific social levels, certain areas, local expectations, whatever. its true hoever that the boys are more spoiled in thailand and the girls do more around the house, but i see that here also in spite of the fact that supposedly we are 'european' here, the mid eastern/arab influence still is very strong.

its true that 'good' parenting at home could give a child a head start in studies and leadership, howver, there are other aspects of childhood that are equally important, such as familial relationships, peer groups, social interactions within his/her own society. nature+nurture both equally important.

[PhillyBoy]

This is the most stupid comment I have ever heard. A generalization that has no basis in fact. My wife's son is 6 (and Thai) is the smartest kid in his class. I am sure that if your kid and he were the same age this Thai kid would put your kid to shame. This boy can draw, remember entire songs after hearing it once or twice and sing it from beginning to end, he is the leader in any group of kids and seems to just take over in play groups and all the other kids follow him. He is a natural leader. He can take clay and make models of anything he wants to make. He has the mentality, language skills, personality, knowledge of kids probably twice his age. He can name every Indian Buddha image and he can recite stories in great detail. This kid is a natural leader, has feelings and insight that is well beyond his numerical age.

I think you making this blanket statement is so close to racist that it is stupid!!

[Muhendis]

Another Thai-bashing thread from our resident basher, the bower boy. How can you possibly know, at two to three years of age, that "the Farang kid is absolutely miles and miles ahead of every other kid in that Kindergarten." Is he doing advanced calculus? Is he publishing research papers? The answer is you don't know. But being as hopelessly biased as you are, I'm sure you'll come up with a long list of bogus reasons.

Anyone can see it...it is just so blindingly obvious when you observe it....that is what concerns me and that is why i raised it.

Bowerboy has no idea what he is talking about. He has a big problem if he is "concerned" about such things. Every single child and adult for that matter, is unique in this world.

[malt25]

Its not the academice difference that concerns me ....

Its the emotional maturity compared to his peers...

It is no accident he is that way.

Just for one thing amongst many is that I am shocked to see he is pretty much the only kid there that can feed himself...

Most Thai boys get mummied and sticky rice shoved in their chops at the first sign of a wobbly.

Go to any food court when it's busy and they are jumping around, screaming crying etc, the girls seem OK and able to feed themselves. This behaviour of course continues into adult age where they expect the same, to be fed and girls behave.

In that same food court you will find farang kids of a similar age, buying their coupons, choosing their food and eating without help from mummy or daddy, if daddy isn't over with the Thai guy ogling the chang girls.

If someone tries to feed me with the food court crap I would also jumping, screaming and crying....

Dunno where you eat, but the grub at the food court in Robinson's Sakon Nakhon is top notch. I'm pretty particular with what I eat & I'm happy to eat there a couple of times a week.

Just sayin..... Cheers..... Mal.

[canuckamuck]

It all evens out in the end. Some kids are quick starters, but there will come a time when he will "average out". The others will catch up, and perhaps surpass him. At 5 years old...the book simply is not completed yet.

although you are right that at 5 the book is not completed, it is also true that by that time many neural pathways have become hard wired as they say. And we don't even out in the end. Some people are galaxies ahead of others, intellectually, creatively, and in awareness too. That is just the way it is. And the environment and help they get at the start is big boost. It's a mixed bag out there, but the model of parenting here is different than in the west, and there are observable differences.

[metisdead]

Some more off topic nonsense posts have been removed as well as posts attempting to turn this into nationality bashing.

[bowerboy]

"show me a boy at 7 and i will show you the man"

There are only 278,000,000 results for that search in Google so it probably means nothing

[bowerboy]

This is the most stupid comment I have ever heard. A generalization that has no basis in fact. My wife's son is 6 (and Thai) is the smartest kid in his class. I am sure that if your kid and he were the same age this Thai kid would put your kid to shame. This boy can draw, remember entire songs after hearing it once or twice and sing it from beginning to end, he is the leader in any group of kids and seems to just take over in play groups and all the other kids follow him. He is a natural leader. He can take clay and make models of anything he wants to make. He has the mentality, language skills, personality, knowledge of kids probably twice his age. He can name every Indian Buddha image and he can recite stories in great detail. This kid is a natural leader, has feelings and insight that is well beyond his numerical age.

I think you making this blanket statement is so close to racist that it is stupid!!

Who are his peers? Does he go to a state school upcountry?

You may be comparing him to a very low base.

You sound new to Thailand....some advice: Beware of how low you let your standards and comparison to what is "normal" slip.

[GentlemanJim]

We have raised our kid very much the Thai way where anything goes and there is no discipline or direction or guidance...just do what has to be done hour by hour and see where it all ends up.

You have to be kidding right? So what this means is "I didn't raise my kids at all or give them any time or allow them to benefit from being mentored and educated, or instill any discipline, in fact I just let them raise themselves".

What the title of the post should read is not 'Shocking Difference between Thai and Farang Toddlers" but "Shocking difference between parents that don't give a s**t and parents that do".

Jeez!

[maidee]

lol... ur kid is not even 3

let him be a kid

and not a robot

[steven100]

Why is it, my kid is always better than all the rest of them?

Just a thought..........

Why is it that my kid can do 100 metres in 7.8 seconds ......... ?

It's because he's running from getting a boot up the backside .....

[Rajhulmaheesh]

we have lived opposite a Thai family with a child of the same age as our's (15 months - I asked them). From our balcony we could ( and would) watch their everyday life. Since their door was open during daylight, we could also peep into their living room. We could also hear ( Though not understand their talking). So for a month we had a pretty good insight into how they interacted and how they would pass time.

I can honestly say that after witnessing the boy's behaviour, we thought our daughter must either be a unique miracle of wisdom, overdeveloped mind and understanding, OR the boy must have some severe mental issues.

I figure, since by comparison to other non-Thai kids (Europeans) our daughter is quite normal in her development, it's the Thai boy who lacks development. But seeing how he is brought up, how the mother and grandmother interact with him, I put the blame on them and not to any biological/genetic precondition. These adults put virtually NOTHING into the poor child's daily life but food. Every attempt to discover anything around him by himself is discouraged. He is either sat down on the floor to eat, to watch silly TV shows, or watch his grandmother prepare food. We pittied him and condemned his parent's lack of responsibility very much.

Maybe that is just an exceptional case, but it's what we saw every day.

What you see is the thai normal.

Where do you find the time to watch them though..........................lol. You maybe the dysfunctional one.