Can someone give me advice on falling for a Thai girl?

[roro1990]

I hung up the phone and told her that it was disgusting she would degrade herself like this for money and that she has no self-respect.

OK, now I definitely think you're a fool.

Thank goodness this poor girl seems to be rid of you.

bit rich coming from some anonymous prick on the internet. as i said i regret being harsh about it.

Edited April 18, 2015 by roro1990

[Squeegee]

Your true colours have shown OP: ignorant, judgemental, insulting and disrespectful towards someone who you previously claimed had helped with all your confidence woes.

You can name call me all you like on the internet, so others can see who you really are. In real life though you'd be heading for the education of a lifetime, except poor little shy boy couldn't say boo to a goose in front of someone's face.

You have shown no understanding or compassion towards this girl and she's better off without you.

Edited April 18, 2015 by Squeegee

[xtrnuno41]

no one can give you advice! It is how you feel and you have to decide what you want, part of growing up.

you never can be sure if its working. No matter if thai or any other nationality.

It's a try and error method and you never know how it will develop.

Lots of people over the whole world divorcing after years of mariage! Nothing is garanteed.

For you to decide if she is doing you right and you can live with it.

If errors pile up then you better leave and forget, coz there are more fish. You gave it a shot.

Learn from that experience and move on, knowing the bad things you encounterd and avoid them again in another relation.

Easy said then done, but it's like that. You are still young, so grow in tries and errors. It 's life

[tifino]

most of our responses have come from real-life experience.

if someone else can learn from our mistakes, then - our job's done...

[Tbone999]

Hi everyone, an update to this seeing as people seem to be interested in it. After much thought from what I've read on here, I came to the conclusion that she definitely gave happy endings before. I pressed her for ages about this and for ages about what she is doing in Korea. She finally admitted that yes she gave handjobs to customers in the past. I felt instantly nauseous and told her she was the same as a bar girl to which she replies "not same because not have sex" haha give me a break. It was a long conversation in which I told her how I felt about it and asked why she felt the need to give people handjobs. She simply said she needed money otherwise she couldn't feed herself. I hung up the phone and told her that it was disgusting she would degrade herself like this for money and that she has no self-respect. I feel bad for being harsh about it but I can't help how I feel. No matter how nice she has made me feel, a woman who has felt the need to masturbate men for money isn't someone I want to stay with. I'm not even particularly sad, I just feel empty. Because there is a nice girl lurking in there somewhere and i'm pretty sure I came very close to finding it. I'm not sure if i'll remain in contact with her or not. I have many fantastic memories with her and the fact I need to stay in her room for a couple more weeks will not help matters. But i'm fairly sure I have no future with her. She vowed that she has given up handjobs but I told her if she has done it before she will do it again. She is adamant there is nothing sexual about her job in Korea. On the one hand id believe her because she admitted the handjob thing, she already put her darkest secret on the line to me, but on the other, all past experience with her points to sex services in Korea.

Err, this is most definitely a troll, you fly to Thailand and don't have enough cash to stay somewhere else? Bxxxshit.

[BKKBodhisattva]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Hi everyone, an update to this seeing as people seem to be interested in it. After much thought from what I've read on here, I came to the conclusion that she definitely gave happy endings before. I pressed her for ages about this and for ages about what she is doing in Korea. She finally admitted that yes she gave handjobs to customers in the past. I felt instantly nauseous and told her she was the same as a bar girl to which she replies "not same because not have sex" haha give me a break. It was a long conversation in which I told her how I felt about it and asked why she felt the need to give people handjobs. She simply said she needed money otherwise she couldn't feed herself. I hung up the phone and told her that it was disgusting she would degrade herself like this for money and that she has no self-respect. I feel bad for being harsh about it but I can't help how I feel. No matter how nice she has made me feel, a woman who has felt the need to masturbate men for money isn't someone I want to stay with. I'm not even particularly sad, I just feel empty. Because there is a nice girl lurking in there somewhere and i'm pretty sure I came very close to finding it. I'm not sure if i'll remain in contact with her or not. I have many fantastic memories with her and the fact I need to stay in her room for a couple more weeks will not help matters. But i'm fairly sure I have no future with her. She vowed that she has given up handjobs but I told her if she has done it before she will do it again. She is adamant there is nothing sexual about her job in Korea. On the one hand id believe her because she admitted the handjob thing, she already put her darkest secret on the line to me, but on the other, all past experience with her points to sex services in Korea.

You don't have a clue.

While you're perfectly within your rights to want to have nothing to do with her now she's confessed to dishing out hand-shandies, you don't have any right to judge or slag her off for doing what she needs to do to support herself.

Easy to look down on her from your high horse but, despite your privileged life (compared to hers) in the West, you're the one crashing at her place because you can't afford to pay for a hotel

She should toss you out on your ear

Edited April 18, 2015 by BKKBodhisattva

[Squeegee]

I don't think he's a troll, and that's worse. This is just a kid with little insight and a lot to learn.

[xtrnuno41]

ah so you found out

she lied ofcourse, but considder as she said she has to live and you arent supporting her

She let you live with her!

You know what her income is? You know how much a thai is earning?

Women with kids have to do even so the same, coz they want to give their kids a better future.

And it is sure not different as in any other country, as you dont have your income to live.

Mostly they also have to take care mama or and papa and it cost!

[Squeegee]

As I said in a previous post that was full of good info for him, many ladies in the sex industry are good people.

In this case, it seems we have a girl with no education or prospects under huge cultural pressure to provide, and yet she hasn't turned to drugs or gambling, has given her only asset - her body that probably most must pay for - to this naive self-entitled kid, plus a roof over his head and helped his 'confidence issues'.

A lady like this deserves a guy who has understanding, an open mind who is realistic and learned the culture and will provide for her. All the warnings we gave are valid, but there's no evidence this girl couldn't be a keeper for the right guy.

And that previous poster tried to make me out as passing moral judgements on sex workers whilst pandering to this little twerp's ego.

[sir charles IV]

You're going through a typical "difficult" period. Anger, denial, betrayal, hatred, confusion, love, hope all mixed up together. She appears to genuinely like u but does not see you as a reliable source of future security (not yet). She's doing what most women in Thailand and in her position do. Look after herself "survival mode". Unfortunately those who cross the morality line are high risk. She will not hesitate to fall back on it if she feels the need for it even after committing herself to u or someone else. The stories of relationships that have worked out between farang men and this type of Thai girl are not very common. It works when the farang can continue to provide the lifestyle that she though she'd be getting or is accustomed to. Those farang who save up months for a Thai holiday or even borrow money and show off their dollars or pounds acting generous etc living in fantacy and fall in love with a Thai woman (in a sex related industry) end up realizing that they cannot continue with the charade forever. The woman soon realizes it and is not satisfied with a the "real" person or lifestyle and it all goes downhill.

[Tbone999]

I hung up the phone and told her that it was disgusting she would degrade herself like this for money and that she has no self-respect.

OK, now I definitely think you're a fool.

Thank goodness this poor girl seems to be rid of you.

Furthermore, you should get out of Thailand because you're completely clueless on every level.

Good luck to her not you.

[Tbone999]

I agree!

[roro1990]

Your true colours have shown OP: ignorant, judgemental, insulting and disrespectful towards someone who you previously claimed had helped with all your confidence woes.

You can name call me all you like on the internet, so others can see who you really are. In real life though you'd be heading for the education of a lifetime, except poor little shy boy couldn't say boo to a goose in front of someone's face.

You have shown no understanding or compassion towards this girl and she's better off without you.

I actually do understand exactly why she done it. That doesn't make it easy to accept. I have no time for chatting with guys like you who don't seem to understand a heightened and irrational emotional response to something you're heavily invested in emotionally. I know exactly why she done it. And if I had to put food on the table for my family id use any means neccesary. but it wasn't an easy thing to hear at first

[Squeegee]

I don't care about your insults towards me, who gave you sound advice, but if you're man enough you need to apologise to her for speaking like that to her, wish her luck and move on on good terms.

[sir charles IV]

Despite your negative comments about her the fact that you're living in her place indicates that you have not let go. This is a risky situation for you. As long as you're there you're consciously or even subconsciously believe that it's not over. The best medicine (advice) is "time". The longer it goes the clearer it will become. Don't do anything drastic in either direction. Be patient. Let it flow. One day you'll wake up with a clear head and have your old self back. I'd recommend visiting a bar and taking a short time gf. It helped me greatly. Boy she was hot! Don't worry my wife knows about it as it was 6 months before we met. Funny enough she grinds her teeth every time the subject comes up. You gotta love/hate a Thai woman's jealousy.

[roro1990]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Hi everyone, an update to this seeing as people seem to be interested in it. After much thought from what I've read on here, I came to the conclusion that she definitely gave happy endings before. I pressed her for ages about this and for ages about what she is doing in Korea. She finally admitted that yes she gave handjobs to customers in the past. I felt instantly nauseous and told her she was the same as a bar girl to which she replies "not same because not have sex" haha give me a break. It was a long conversation in which I told her how I felt about it and asked why she felt the need to give people handjobs. She simply said she needed money otherwise she couldn't feed herself. I hung up the phone and told her that it was disgusting she would degrade herself like this for money and that she has no self-respect. I feel bad for being harsh about it but I can't help how I feel. No matter how nice she has made me feel, a woman who has felt the need to masturbate men for money isn't someone I want to stay with. I'm not even particularly sad, I just feel empty. Because there is a nice girl lurking in there somewhere and i'm pretty sure I came very close to finding it. I'm not sure if i'll remain in contact with her or not. I have many fantastic memories with her and the fact I need to stay in her room for a couple more weeks will not help matters. But i'm fairly sure I have no future with her. She vowed that she has given up handjobs but I told her if she has done it before she will do it again. She is adamant there is nothing sexual about her job in Korea. On the one hand id believe her because she admitted the handjob thing, she already put her darkest secret on the line to me, but on the other, all past experience with her points to sex services in Korea.

You don't have a clue.

While you're perfectly within your rights to want to have nothing to do with her now she's confessed to dishing out hand-shandies, you don't have any right to judge or slag her off for doing what she needs to do to support herself.

Easy to look down on her from your high horse but, despite your privileged life (compared to hers) in the West, you're the one crashing at her place because you can't afford to pay for a hotel

She should toss you out on your ear

I have spent hundreds if not thousands of pound in visiting this girl so don't you dare lecture me on looking down from any sort of high horse. I was reacting badly to what I was told. In hindsight I understand exactly why she done it. id also take drastic action if i had to put food for my family on the table. i can perfectly afford to pay for a room and if i stop everything with her ill book into the closest guesthouse. i am not really staying here free, as i had planned to give her 3,000 baht towards rent when i leave.

[Tbone999]

Your true colours have shown OP: ignorant, judgemental, insulting and disrespectful towards someone who you previously claimed had helped with all your confidence woes.

You can name call me all you like on the internet, so others can see who you really are. In real life though you'd be heading for the education of a lifetime, except poor little shy boy couldn't say boo to a goose in front of someone's face.

You have shown no understanding or compassion towards this girl and she's better off without you.

I actually do understand exactly why she done it. That doesn't make it easy to accept. I have no time for chatting with guys like you who don't seem to understand a heightened and irrational emotional response to something you're heavily invested in emotionally. I know exactly why she done it. And if I had to put food on the table for my family id use any means neccesary. but it wasn't an easy thing to hear at first

[Tbone999]

I have no time for chatting with guys like you who don't seem to understand a heightened and irrational emotional response to something you're heavily invested in emotionally

Then why make the post in the first place??

[Tbone999]

I have no time for chatting with guys like you who don't seem to understand a heightened and irrational emotional response to something you're heavily invested in emotionally

Then why make the post in the first place??

[Tbone999]

I know exactly why she done it. And if I had to put food on the table for my family id use any means neccesary

So, you'd also sell your axse as well?

[Squeegee]

lol Tbone, you're having a right battle with the forum quoting system

Hit the quote button, then in the window click under the grey area of the quote. Your part should be on the white background.

Or someone else will come along and describe it far better than I can!

Edited April 18, 2015 by Squeegee

[MyFriend You]

Your first sentence says it all - the rest is just you trying to convince yourself she can change

You already know the answer - YES spend a lot more time in Thailand, you're young enough to find a real love - what she is doing to him she will do to you. Plain & simple, find another one. and have fun doing it

[micmichd]

I know exactly why she done it. And if I had to put food on the table for my family id use any means neccesary

So, you'd also sell your axse as well?

Waiting for an answer.

Any Farang woman who would do the same in a situation like Isaan girl?

[Luxfare]

I know exactly why she done it. And if I had to put food on the table for my family id use any means neccesary

So, you'd also sell your axse as well?

Waiting for an answer.

Any Farang woman who would do the same in a situation like Isaan girl?

Hardly the same is it? the social help and infrastructure in the Western world helps people in need a lot more than in Thailand so not many Western women would be forced into something such as prostitution. Also the educational level is higher in the Western world allowing for better prospects.

[roro1990]

I know exactly why she done it. And if I had to put food on the table for my family id use any means neccesary

So, you'd also sell your axse as well?

Waiting for an answer.

Any Farang woman who would do the same in a situation like Isaan girl?

yes any farang would do the same. there was a talk show in my country recently on the radio where numerous women were ringing up saying they were selling their bodies on the side (whilst married might i add) to support their families through the recession. desperate times call for desperate measures

Edited April 18, 2015 by roro1990

[EmptyHead]

I think this thread has run its course.

It's up to you now OP.

[roro1990]

yes. thanks to everyone who replied. if a moderator can lock it that'd be appreciated as it warrants no further discussion. cheers

[EmptyHead]

I'd still appreciate her number. Personal message will do nicely.

[kicktostart]

It's all about survival for her. She will tell you anything you want to hear and the next day she will tell another guy what he wants to hear. They are able to juggle many of us at the same time and make us all think it's love. Love is blind so if you do not trust her then don't stay longer, she will hurt you forever. Move on and remember this experience because there are many more like this in Thailand. Go to the city and find an educated girl, one you can talk to and reason with.

[off road pat]

We all love your story, because most of us had similar ones......and this is no joke...we all had broken hearts in Asia.....

The second time I came backpacking to Asia, some 27/28 years ago I fell deeply in love with a really nice girl in Chiang Mai.....and I also taught, this is the one. The one I am going to stay with for ever......she was not like all the others, she was different.

It happened that I had a multiple country air ticket with Philippine airlines 6 months validity,Thailand, Indonesia , Philippines, Vietnam, and Thailand again,....at this time. True a good friend in a travel agency in Europe I could get a great deal on this flights, I had to pay for the furthest destination (Europe-Indonesia) and got two free stops, every additional stop was only approximatively a 1000 thb extra....

Bummer,....I felll in love on the first stretch of my travel, in Chiang Mai.....so I still had to go to all the other country's..... witch I was a bit reluctant to....but it was such a good deal, so I decided to continued my trip. My girlfriend came with me to Bangkok and we separated with great regret in the airport,......the way she cried made me feel so much in love. My exotic girlfriend,......!

My next country was the Philippines, where I met gorgeous exotic girls again, and so easy to get, but I was so in love with my Exotic Thai girl that I did not have a taste. I had planned to stay one month in every country so I travelled only 14 days in the Philippines in stead. Next stop, Indonesia ? the same I met great looking girls and in Jokjakarta and Bali....and despite it was a Muslim country some were so easy to get, but I did nothing, I had no feeling to cheat on my girlfriend. Instead of one month Indonesia I stayed 14 days. Next stop, Vietnam, you guest it, same same, so much in love with my Thai girl ! that I never wanted to cheat her,.....despite all the gorgeously beautiful girls that were willing to stay with me,.....to make a long story a bit shorter.....I came back to Thailand after cutting short all my trips,....and when I got back to Chiang Mai to see the love of my life !!! she was with another guy !!!.....and she told me she met him on the train that got her back to Chiang Mai just after we left each other in tears in Bangkok....

Its just a story happening to me some 27/28 years ago, needless to say, I learned a great lesson there. I was young and I took it as a lesson, as it had some Influence in my further life. I learned from it in different levels.

The next years I had the same deal with Philippine airlines and I did all this countries again for a few consecutive years every 6 months for some ten years. I had Girlfriends in all those countries, short, and long time ones. Until Philippine international Airlines got bankrupted, not due to my travels, but the man in charge of Philippine Airlines was a playboy and was more on golf courses than taking care of business.....I still fell in love hundreds of times after that but it was one of the best lessons that really counted in my further life...a great character builder...

I married the right woman some 15 /16 years later but I had the experience to know it was the right one.... and I met my Thai wife by accident without looking for it.....

I will not tell you what to do, or not to do, make your own decisions and bare the consequences. such is life welcome to the real world.

I hope you learn something from it,....You are young ! follow your heart, and if it brakes ? fall in love again, and again, and never stop falling in love....life is so great, live it ! take everything as a lesson....good or bad.....learn from your mistakes. and from other people's mistakes. ...

Best regards.

Edited April 18, 2015 by off road pat