Marriage to hi so girl

[Rhys]

Have to laugh, that many farangs believe Thai girls with even the remotest of Chinese ancestry are Hi-so, especially considering probably the majority of Thai people have a Chinese ancestor in their family tree somewhere, including women of ill repute and the underclasses of Thai society.

Any decent middle to upper class Thai woman would never consider getting involved with a farang, in fact most Thais believe forming relationships with farangs is a step down the social ladder.

I think that if a farang has to buy his way into a relationship with a Thai woman, says a lot about the lack of amour propre regarding all parties concerned. Anyone willing to pay millions of bahts for the hand of a Thai woman, has to be a very sad individual indeed.

My wife is Thai Chinese - and she is SO SO, so there

You know, smallish breasts, thick legs..

Hi So Thai girls have larger breasts and skinny legs - real skinny

fooled you

Noticed the icon photo... that still around... do you have the set.

[Stocky]

All sounds terribly so-so to me, I'd strongly recommend your son do a runner.

[thaibeachlovers]

The sin sod was supposed to be for show to save face so my son could invest in the business. The family agreed to this plan, but later changed their minds.

Latest I was told was 2 mill.thb.

Is he ( or you ) actually stupid enough to pay that?

You actually had to come on here and ask if he was being taken to the proverbial cleaners, LOL.

Simple test, refuse to pay for the wedding, and don't pay that ridiculous sin sot and see if she'll still marry him. If she won't, it was never more than a commercial arrangement.

As for the business- I couldn't imagine anything worse than having to be around my Thai family all the time.

I haven't read all the thread yet, but I doubt any are supporting this farce.

[thaibeachlovers]

This must be either a troll post, are there are some really out of touch people.

I always felt the iron rule should be no money to the family of the lovely

Thai daughter. That seems to be a slippery path that always ends in tears,

with her family members calling you the farang buffalo behind your bike....

I follow your iron rule, but I have found out that my Thai family and others are telling her to leave me because I won't give them money. And they wonder why I don't like them!

[zeichen]

"I started this as I expected the family would pay for everything to prove their position.
Thanks for your help."

No, by Thai custom the groom is suppose to pay for everything. Having a large Sinsod isn't uncommon also, but unless they are greedy or poor, they wouldn't keep it.

Many younger couples with affluent families combine money on the table to show off. 2 million baht isn't a lot for a wedding, I've been to some middle class weddings where the couples only earned about 20kbaht a month each and they had 1.5 million on the table.

I think that you are confusing things. They don't have to prove their position, you do. Your son is the unknown.

[zeichen]

"As for the business- I couldn't imagine anything worse than having to be around my Thai family all the time."

I am certain that the sentiment is mutual. Heck, I don't want to be near you ever and I have never met you.

[angiolo]

I cant afford a Thai girl , too demanding . My son lives in Thailand and married

a German girl..CLEVER KID ,,

I live with

a Burmese girl . not so demanding and lots of fun I leave the Thai girls for richer farangs

[transam]

It's been my experience that most birds who lassoo a farang seem to automatically think they are now hi-so. It's quite comical to see them "change", seen quite a few over the years.......

[thaibeachlovers]

"As for the business- I couldn't imagine anything worse than having to be around my Thai family all the time."

I am certain that the sentiment is mutual. Heck, I don't want to be near you ever and I have never met you.

Oh I'm so upset.

[billphillips]

Part of being "Hi So" would involve having sufficient funds to cover any financial eventuality. Even discussing finances would be deemed as inappropriate or perhaps vulgar.

2mil sin sod ... You have to be joking. Starting a business from a cold start in Thailand and actually making money .... Unlikely. Living with the mother in law .... Doomed.

Give it up now. Write off anything that's been spent to date. Plenty of choice, so don't waste time with dreamers and self proclaimed Hi So money grabbers.

[Beetlejuice]

This must be either a troll post, are there are some really out of touch people.

I always felt the iron rule should be no money to the family of the lovely

Thai daughter. That seems to be a slippery path that always ends in tears,

with her family members calling you the farang buffalo behind your bike....

I guess you are a man of the world and know that winners always deal with the truth and those who live in a make believe cloud cuckoo land are self destructive.

If this were my son I would not oppose him, but make my opinions clear without making a drama out of it, and refuse to be a participant in such a farce. If the father surrenders to the will of his son, then he is just as much an idiot, worse in fact for supporting this.

[BKResort]

WOW! I was very lucky with my wife farmer's family!

She is a lot younger than myself, very, very beautiful, and without young children.

She owns a small business, and she is an independent homeowner.

We married without party because I didn't had the money to pay for it.

During her family blessing to our marriage, they gave us 20000thb to travel in our honeymoon.

Even now, that we doing better with the business, they keep bringing presents, and helping us with unexpected bills.

Looks like them are HiSo!

[rayongchelsea]

"I started this as I expected the family would pay for everything to prove their position.

Thanks for your help."

No, by Thai custom the groom is suppose to pay for everything. Having a large Sinsod isn't uncommon also, but unless they are greedy or poor, they wouldn't keep it.

Many younger couples with affluent families combine money on the table to show off. 2 million baht isn't a lot for a wedding, I've been to some middle class weddings where the couples only earned about 20kbaht a month each and they had 1.5 million on the table.

I think that you are confusing things. They don't have to prove their position, you do. Your son is the unknown.

they keep increasing their demands..seems greedy to me, unattractive and not basically untrustworthy..

[thaibeachlovers]

"I started this as I expected the family would pay for everything to prove their position.

Thanks for your help."

No, by Thai custom the groom is suppose to pay for everything. Having a large Sinsod isn't uncommon also, but unless they are greedy or poor, they wouldn't keep it.

Many younger couples with affluent families combine money on the table to show off. 2 million baht isn't a lot for a wedding, I've been to some middle class weddings where the couples only earned about 20kbaht a month each and they had 1.5 million on the table.

I think that you are confusing things. They don't have to prove their position, you do. Your son is the unknown.

If they want to go with Thai customs then they can get her to marry a Thai man. Western man's money, western rules.

A wedding party isn't required, so no need to pay if you don't want to.

A western man that swallows that "it's Thai custom" BS deserves to be taken for an ATM.

unless they are greedy or poor, they wouldn't keep it.

The OP has already said that they want to keep it.

[transam]

WOW! I was very lucky with my wife farmer's family!

She is a lot younger than myself, very, very beautiful, and without young children.

She owns a small business, and she is an independent homeowner.

We married without party because I didn't had the money to pay for it.

During her family blessing to our marriage, they gave us 20000thb to travel in our honeymoon.

Even now, that we doing better with the business, they keep bringing presents, and helping us with unexpected bills.

Looks like them are HiSo!

You are one lucky geezer............ .............I take my hat off...........

[Blackfox]

Supposed Hi-So here will carry their status internationally.

The ones I know from schooling here and abroad (Thais) over 20 years ago that are perhaps deemed Hi-So are nothing more than cheeky spoilt upstarts who are not close to being Hi-So (not wishing to disrespect although I have).

Now in their 40's, they have more luxury international houses, Mercedes and BMW's you can justify.

One very wealthy girl perceived as Hi-So married to a foreigner (and has a Thai gik on the side) is in the tabloids from one of the country's most established family's, is not Hi-So.....although the media will have us believe she is.

The real true high society in this country do not marry foreigners, irrespective of how good looking and wealthy that western man is.

I believe there are only 3 Thai families and individuals within those families that are truly high society. They only married Thais of same class, the best blood and pedigree.

[jdinasia]

Ah, so your definition of Hi-so is the correct one? That of the Thai people and press isn't.

Sorry Blackfox but that doesn't carry any water.

[brewsterbudgen]

"Hi-so" just means posh and stuck-up right? This is desirable in a wife?

[Blackfox]

I guess you're right JD. No doubt I'm the minority.

My definition of high society doesn't include what's in the supposed Hi-So trashy newspaper and magazine columns. But then, it doesn't completely preclude it.

[Blackfox]

"Hi-so" just means posh and stuck-up right? This is desirable in a wife?

Perhaps you're right Brewster.

Then, the top bloodlines in this country are in another category.

The ones I speak of only marry same.

[jdinasia]

"Hi-so" just means posh and stuck-up right? This is desirable in a wife?

Perhaps you're right Brewster.

Then, the top bloodlines in this country are in another category.

The ones I speak of only marry same.

Yet from the very top family of Thai society there have been inter-racial marriages.

[Blackfox]

"Hi-so" just means posh and stuck-up right? This is desirable in a wife?

Perhaps you're right Brewster.

Then, the top bloodlines in this country are in another category.

The ones I speak of only marry same.

Yet from the very top family of Thai society there have been inter-racial marriages.

Yes, you're right albeit rare.

[chubby]

does your son have 2 mil baht , sounds like your the one who will suffer.

sin sot, seems to be archaic, and no one should pay it , find another girl

[NickJ]

Blackfox you are so wrong. I know plenty. Although divorced start with the number one daughter. Then for kicks go to the Pacific City Club...where many of the members who have farang husbands are very much upper thai crust. Or pick up a copy of the Thai Tatteler magazine and see photos of the many mixed couples. Usualy if the mother of the bride or grandmother is a kuhnying , they are hiso.

[SantiSuk]

Not much understanding of Thai culture shown here. The financial disadvantages of marriage described by the OP are not directed at falangs as many seem to think, they are the way things are. Potential Thai bridegrooms and their families are treated just the same. Marriage is seen as an economic transaction as much as a love and lust thing.

Go live in India if you want the boot on the other foot.

It is expected that sin sots will be negotiated. Normally the cost of the wedding is significantly offset by the contributions from guests being given back to the groom. Negotiate for that. In my case I was given back contributions that exceeded the cost (and I didn't expect or ask for it).

I agree It is difficult to adapt to a culture where the bridegroom is expected to throw in his lot with the family and in general the one with the most money is expected to flaunt it a bit (back to that face thing). If you prefer the western model that sees sons and daughters moving away from and largely cutting off family then you'll need to find a girl who is happy to do that - not many around I suspect. Don't fall into the trap of thinking it is personal or anti-foreigner though. Plenty of Thai guys feel exactly the way you do about marriage and it's financial/social disadvantages.

[PeVee1st]

Once again thanks for the contributions, I am reading them.

Yes, I agree with most of you & yes I know the answers, I was wanting some forthright opinions to share with my son.

I agree he should stay at home & forget her, but he is swept up with her & her family, so it is hard to talk to him.

[eddie61]

caveat emptor... you get what you pay for

[chicowoodduck]

Please just take one moment to wipe the fool sign off of your forehead and sucker tattoo off of your sons, for Buddha's sake....?

[brewsterbudgen]

Not much understanding of Thai culture shown here. The financial disadvantages of marriage described by the OP are not directed at falangs as many seem to think, they are the way things are. Potential Thai bridegrooms and their families are treated just the same. Marriage is seen as an economic transaction as much as a love and lust thing.

Go live in India if you want the boot on the other foot.

It is expected that sin sots will be negotiated. Normally the cost of the wedding is significantly offset by the contributions from guests being given back to the groom. Negotiate for that. In my case I was given back contributions that exceeded the cost (and I didn't expect or ask for it).

I agree It is difficult to adapt to a culture where the bridegroom is expected to throw in his lot with the family and in general the one with the most money is expected to flaunt it a bit (back to that face thing). If you prefer the western model that sees sons and daughters moving away from and largely cutting off family then you'll need to find a girl who is happy to do that - not many around I suspect. Don't fall into the trap of thinking it is personal or anti-foreigner though. Plenty of Thai guys feel exactly the way you do about marriage and it's financial/social disadvantages.

This post sums it up nicely.

[Dogbreath]

This whole thing does not pass the sniff test. I think the Thais see an opportunity for a score here and little else.