How much to raise a child?

[chingching]

At age 66 your life expectancy is about 17 yrs. 83 y.o. http://life-span.healthgrove.com/l/67/66

However if you 18 yrs old now, you can expect to live to be 58 y.o.

In other words you have weathered the storm and are much likelier to live to an old age than a young man. (You're not likely to get into bar fights, go base jumping, or volunteer for the army.)

[whiteman]

You also have to give consideration as to you being 66 and the health of the child when it is born for as a older person there is much more chance of an unhealthy birth. You also have not given the age of your partner which could increase the chancers also. And that will be a hell of a lot more costs to you if your new child is not right when born.

I am 68 and no way in a million years would I consider having another child and my partner of 11 years is happy with that too. For you remember it is Thailand and there are plenty more fish in the sea a 40+ would be a good fit.

[darkian]

"Wife would love a baby."

"the affordableness of her desire."

Do you have a say in the matter? Do you even want a child?

[offset]

I think it is the height of irresponsibility and short sightedness to pop babies while father is in 60's, or older. Even if you happen to live til kid reaches maturity, can't really see geezers out there on cricket pitch, or baseball field showing kid how it's done. There is a reason most breeders are in their 20's: they have the time and energy for the long haul tasks. And it's not like there is any shortage of people on the planet....

Slam me all you like, but think of these guys next time someone bashes Thais for being stupid.

There are other things that a child can get from an older father the fact that they are most probably retired and can afford to spend much more time with there children. I am 70 years old I might not be able to run fast but I can still kick a football and throw a cricket ball with my son and I also have much more experience in life that a 20 year old father has

When my father had me he was fighting in the war I guess he was irresponsible to have a baby during that time because his life expectancy was very short but I am very happy that he not think about what might happen in the future

[surfinglife]

A child is not a toy for the wife. Unless YOU really really really want one too, get a vasectomy. A lot cheaper.

[Srikcir]

Not knowing anything about your wife's education, training, and skills -

At your age and with little or no investment income you might consider your wife becoming the primary income earner and yourself as the primary home provider. Perhaps she has family connections that can also aide in childcare, especially if you become ill or incapacitated.

[Johnnie99]

Is this a troll post?

Surely the OP is not serious.

Tragic, yes, serious ... no.

[Guest]

Let's set aside the fact that according to the insurance actuary tables, there is slim chance you will be around in 20 years.

The problem is simple .. you have failed to factor in the high cost of your own medical needs as you age.

Your wife is actually signing up to change two diapers a day ...

Let it go, that ship has sailed... ces't la vie.

[does]

"Selfish, deal breaker, cutting her loose"... A bit harsh without knowing all the fact.

Why does she want a child?

Where do you live (rural or urban). Do you or does she have land/property?

If something happens to you, will she and the child be able to survive financially?

Given your age of 66, I'd have

thought you'd have the presence

of mind to determine whether or

not she harboured a desire for

children before you got married.

Seriously selfish to bring a child

into the world at your age. You

ain't got a pension so what

happens if you croak? A child

ain't a puppy, mate - tell the wife

you're too old. If it's a

deal-breaker, consider cutting

her loose.

[does]

When you sat down with pen and paper to calculate the cost for your child, did you include the entry "degree in worthlessness"?

Sit down with pen and paper and list all the expenses (health, food, clothing, education, etc) -- you will be horrified at the total cost.

Find out the cost of private schools to avoid future heart attacks when you receive the bill.

At 69, I'm paying 150,000 a year at a local private university for my daughter's degree in worthlessness.

[honcho]

if you do have a child beware that if your wife leaves or dies you could be a solo dad..... I am, thai gf asked me to look after my son for a month and never returned..... not easy being an older solo dad.... and im 10 years your junior!

think long and hard....good luck

[arrowsdawdle]

Cost you an arm and a leg.

And the correct term is heir, not child.

[justhavingfun]

Am 74 and have a 9-year old girl. Nothing makes me happier than her smiles and hugs.

I'm separated from the mother, but we share the girl about 50-50. She's completely bi-lingual and often serves as my translator when she's not being shy.

There is a cost, but the added payments Social Security makes for my little munchkin pretty much covers most of it. I pay the "big" expenses: medical and tuition. It's a burden, but she's worth a million times more. When she's here with me, one of her favorite activities -- besides playing Minecraft with her old brothers -- is going to the bookstore, sitting on the floor, reading, and coming home with a slew of books to read in bed.

I have a friend a few years older than me with a Thai/American daughter 13, also fully bi-lingual. His wife divorced him about 4 years ago and he got custody. He and his daughter moved back to the states where he moans about the cost of living. But his daughter, like mine, is the apple of his eye.

[sakaew]

Some years ago, when I was in my early 70s, my then partner demanded we have a baby. I went to Bumrunrat , and after fees of only 60,000 baht, I acquired a set of bright blue/green bruised genitalia, and there were 3 of my sperm in the IVF department fridge.( It turns out that even in cases of vasectomy, it is possible to harvest sperm from the inlet side of the Sperm Delivery Pipe. ( maybe vas deferens? I forget.) Coincidentally, just a few DAYS later, Sydeny Morning Herald on-line published a report to the effect that some Oz IVF joints had changed their policy regarding the acceptable age for sperm donors, Henceforth, no more sperm from anyone over 35, would be used.

Well....that shocked me. It seems that when the child is in their late teens, MANY of those lovely kids develop autism or schizophrenia. The husbands are long since gone --ESPECIALLY those old VERY ELDERLY buggars producing kids in Thailand. I cancelled the IVF thingy, and opted for a Thai sperm donation.

IF you are an old guy who has fathered a child--or has plans of doing just that...be aware that EVERY year over age 35....your sperm is INCREASINGLY no damned good. MAYBE your kids will be lucky....MANY will not.

Don't waste your time telling me anything, UNTIL you have researched Google. Google Elderly men sperm degradation...THEN reply if you wish. All this shitstorm happened 7 years ago, there may have been more news since then. Good luck to anyone who has gone that route.

[houston]

My opinion is everybody can have a baby if they desire and have enough finance for the baby future.

If I am in this case (66 years old), the question I will ask myself is NOT COST but the very high risk of AUTISM when poeple at this age do a baby....

[merlen10002]

Given your age of 66, I'd have

thought you'd have the presence

of mind to determine whether or

not she harboured a desire for

children before you got married.

Seriously selfish to bring a child

into the world at your age. You

ain't got a pension so what

happens if you croak? A child

ain't a puppy, mate - tell the wife

you're too old. If it's a

deal-breaker, consider cutting

her loose.

Agreed.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[little mary sunshine]

What R U NUTS?? Life expectancy is 76-79. The child will

Be an fatherless at 10y/o or sooner. Cost at least B 50,000

Per month. Another B50,000 per month for child's future when

Your dead from stress of having a baby at your age.

[Liquorice]

I'll be happy if I can get the ladle to stand at 66.

Might have to be happy with just licking the spoon.

[cheeryble]

Thanks for all the really useful and heartfelt answers.

First I'd like to point out that the wife didn't come from a bar and will not go back to one. She's a graduate with a long term responsible job.

When I have pointed out obstacles she says with clarity "look at my sister and her husband (proper jobs but very limited income).....they just get on with it"

Well I thought yes and it's giving someone a life.....a big deal.

I thought I should look at the financial side and came here.

So yes I appreciate the warnings, appreciate the financial details, and now I heard about the dangers that is a real concern as yes my sperm is poor.

Thanks for every reply it's a lot to absorb.

Edited June 23, 2015 by cheeryble

[glasswort]

I met my wife when I was 55 years old and made it clear right from the start of our relationship that that having children together was not an option because I was too old then. Sorry, but even considering starting a family at 66 years old is not only totally irresponsible but downright stupid.

[Mot Dang]

I'm 66 too. In all honesty if I had to ask a bunch of strangers that question I'd throw my hat at it. There comes a time in life when we should know the aswers to some things. I though it was the job of we "oldies" to give advice to the younger ones on these matters.

I agree with what you are saying, and I am 67 soon. 1948 was a good year.

I have been living in Thailand for 34 years now and have a couple of kids. The oldest is 12yo. The very first question you must ask yourself is, "how do you want the child to be bought up ? As a Thai or as a falang ?"

Do you want the child to go to a private school or a Thai state school. Do you want the child to eventually go to university ? Do you want your child to be the one and only near white tuk tuk driver in Udon (or elsewhere), or have a professional career ?

Also do you intend to eventually take your child back to your home country ?

Food and board is just petty cash.

You have to think ahead, and at 66 your options are limited in ensuring that your wishes will continue to be carried out to when the child reaches maturity.

I don't want to teach you how to suck eggs but my advice is think it out very carefully, not for your sake, or that of your wife, but for the child.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Mot Dang

[pinkpanther99]

Following on from my earlier post and after reading many of the excellent posts added since, the only thing that really matters in all of this is that the kid is loved, cared for and happy.

Actually the age of the dad, whether they are 16 or 66 is kind of irrelevant.

[juice777]

My father died young at 49 when I was 14 .I know it's different but it's better to be alive and have no father then not be here at all.

There plenty of people out there bought up with only a mum or a dad so I don't see what difference it makes at 66

[little mary sunshine]

Following on from my earlier post and after reading many of the excellent posts added since, the only thing that really matters in all of this is that the kid is loved, cared for and happy.

Actually the age of the dad, whether they are 16 or 66 is kind of irrelevant.

[smotherb]

Cheaper to find a new mrs.

<deleted>, get real.

Be thankfull you had the benefit ot a western education and all the opportunities it gave you, can you offer your offspring the same here in the LOS?

Why do you think so many Thais send their kids overseas to be educated?

Do you want your kid to end up as a sam lor driver?

Un bloody believable.

Buy her a bang kaew dog, it will be cheaper and will love her more.

What does she really want, a kid, a house or your pension?

She doesn't want a kid really.

Whose driving this dream?

How's your wife going to afford the kid if you croak?

Well, I'll tell you, the poor child will be back in the village living like a peasant while your wife works a bar as you've got no pension to leave her & your savings will be gone on living & raising the kid.

As mentioned, get a dog & enjoy your life.

Forget the kid. If you want a shag, hat up.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You know so little yet say so much.

How do you know the wife doesn't want a kid? How do you know she is from the village? How do you know she lives like a peasant? How do you know all his savings will be gone? And, the most insulting stupidity, how do you know his wife will go work in a bar?

Sounds to me you need to get a life.

[little mary sunshine]

And one must still be around(alive) to

Provide the love,care and security.

[NickJ]

A kid in this day and age is a twenty plus year responsibility. You should no better

You really would not mind leaving a ten year old kid at the mercy of the Thai system

[freebyrd]

Given your age of 66, I'd have

thought you'd have the presence

of mind to determine whether or

not she harboured a desire for

children before you got married.

Seriously selfish to bring a child

into the world at your age. You

ain't got a pension so what

happens if you croak? A child

ain't a puppy, mate - tell the wife

you're too old. If it's a

deal-breaker, consider cutting

her loose.

I couldn't agree more. It's become too much the norm among celebrities and older men in places like Thailand to father children when they are grandfather's themselves. It's not fair to the offspring to have a dad around for only for 20, 15 or even just 10 years. I know a number of my contemporaries, physical training types from the army, who didn't make it past 55. IMHO, having a child after age 45 doesn't seem right, so fathering a child at 66 - .

[offset]

I am not sure what is a good age to have children

Early in life but then marriages do not seem on average last long so the child has only 1 parent

Mid age but people are the set in there ways and a baby is a big life change but I think that in my opinion this would be the best time to have children

In old age when the parents have normally more time and money to look after the child

Many times circumstances do not allow a choice in the matter and you have to do what you think is best for everybody at the time

But what I do know that in Thailand a baby will always get looked after by the extended family and many children from very poor families end up in university and get very good work

[SiSePuede419]

Given your age of 66, I'd have

thought you'd have the presence

of mind to determine whether or

not she harboured a desire for

children before you got married.

Seriously selfish to bring a child

into the world at your age. You

ain't got a pension so what

happens if you croak? A child

ain't a puppy, mate - tell the wife

you're too old. If it's a

deal-breaker, consider cutting

her loose.

But it's not selfish, if you're an alcoholic womanizer under 30?

555+

Spoken like a narrow minded Farang...