NoshowJones Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 does your wife has a sister ? Yes. Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterb17 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Think it's just being economical with the truth. Surely when you marry someone from a completely different alien culture - you really need to try very hard to understand that culture. A Thai will as I said before be economical with the truth- it is not an outright nasty malicious harmful lie ( unless you are in a dreadful relationship ) Usually it is rather what they think you would like to hear. You have posted this query - but no one knows what the supposed lies were about, if nothing important - don't worry about it . It's that sort of thing that brings doubts and destroys relationships . Your last sentence is true. maybe I'm just trying to find a flaw in her, she seems perfect in every other way. Thanks for that. if you think about it - the title to this thread may cause some concern. What is best? Sounds like a prize buffalo . Cooks , cleans , keeps you happy in other ways, frugal, happy , sparkling personality etc etc. It implies that a Thai wife is to be graded , she may not cook- but had the most caring wonderful personality- oh dear only 4/ 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish fingers Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) I had a thai lady who wasnt exactly truthful all the time but my slightly fragile state at the time didn't help either. Personally think if you want to find a long term lady in Thailand look for one that plays the least games as possible. Having said that, everyone plays games, not just thai etc I'm very lucky with the lady I have now Edited July 17, 2015 by fish fingers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1FinickyOne Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 A friend once told me of an expansive book on what constitutes a lie in each culture - - in every culture there are things that are more and less acceptable - i recently saw an article in a western periodical saying that people lie on average once every ten minutes - seemed pretty difficult to believe but maybe the article was lying to make headlines… read the news, plenty of truth twisting everywhere… So. you have to decide for yourself whether or not it is important to you or not. It sounds to me like you might deep down inside be looking to provoke a fight?? I don't know, but as to lies in general, I would say that most people lie to ourselves, warp our self images… sounds like whatever you are going through is no big deal - if you seek tranquility - let it go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 everybody lies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnglishJohn Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Absolutely... Generally she does it with the best intentions or to cover up and save face Only little things though and I find it quite amusing as she's not a good liar... LOL, that's so true. You know it just happened when with typical Thai logic, you get a reason for something which makes no sense at all. Then if you 'dig in' to find out more the reason gets even less convincing until finally you get the truth out. A bright light in the face helps a little during this process. The most common one for me is a reason why I need to go with her if she has to go into Bangkok or something. The reason is always the same : she just doesn't want to go on her own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsycat Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) I've been called Pinocchio numerous times in my life. From my father when i was about six until just recently by a friend of mine. I try to lie, not nastily, but just can't. I sort of blush and blunder with my words. And, actually, make things worse for myself. And end up having a good laugh. Hopefully. that spank as a child stopped me in my lying tracks!!! Riding my newly un stabalised bike on a main road.... I would have spanked me too. Men lie, more than women. Edited July 17, 2015 by Patsycat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon999 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Maybe she does but have you ever lied to her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred Kubasa Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Women, all women, married or single, have one thing in common with autos that come, from the factory, with certain " standard equipment " and lying is standard ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MILT Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I never tell "Lies!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquorice Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 It is not only Thai wives that tell lies. Are you 100% honest with your wife? Yes, So you've told her you put a topic on TV suspecting her of lying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 everybody lies. I dont Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kondiao Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Interesting topic - and it drew some useful comments and some useless drivle. Diferent perceptions about lying - coming from different viewpoints, Western and Asian. - it is natural, in order to Save Face; to smooth over awkward situations, avoid repercussions - vs. lying is an insult to the person being lied to, a betrayal of trust. To say that all people lie - hey we have a lot of fatal accidents on the roads in the U.S.A. but the death rate is 10X as high in Thailand as in the States. There are dishonest building inspectors in the States who sign off on electrical work in houses -I know I have seen the defective wiring in new houses - but houses are wired by illiterate workers in Thailand who don't know how to read blueprints and don't want to know which wire is ground and which is hot and leave live wires exposed in your house. This is standard in Thailand. And everyone knows it and only farangs complain about it. A g/f that I had in Thailand (a Kmer lady, not Thai) I trusted in all important things. I don't believe she ever lied to me in anything that would have hurt me. We broke up for other reasons. A Thai lady that I was engaged to on-and-off used to tell me silly lies. I know that this was not meant to DECEIVE as I would have assumed if we were in the West. It was just the natural way of relating to people. Stories that were plausible, acceptable excuses are to be accepted - not to be believed. That is natural. What is not acceptable is to call the lady on the lie and demand the TRUTH, as we might do in a relationship in the West; that would mean a Loss of Face for the lady and also for me - since I showed myself to be a fool. That was how the relationship got wrecked - since the harmony was disrupted. For her I was supposed to respect her right to be with me but not totally open to share everything in her life. For me, if you lie to me then it means we cannot be completely together; you have erected a barrier and I cannot trust you. If I were able to go back in time and place - and accept Jirapa as she was, live in a smooth, easy, pretend marriage - would I be better off? As opposed to my righteous wrath which led us both to unhappiness and me to loneliness? I don't know. Everyday in Chiang Mai you see Thai drivers not stop at intersections before making a left turn into traffic. - it is useless to say that drivers in England and Austria do this too; we are taught that this practice is wrong and dangerous and has harmful consequences. People in Thailand are not concerned with the deadly consequences of irresponsible driving. That is the way it is. If you want to pretend that it is the same where you came from then you are creating more problems. If you try to chastise Thais for making such egregious mistakes in their driving then you are only putting your own life at risk because they won't tolerate the Loss of Face; but they can very well countenance killing you. If you want to live in a marriage to a Thai lady you will live with lies. Maybe you should ask yoursel if she is lying with the intent to hurt me or to avoid unnecessary embarrassment. And, will I make our relationship stronger by confronting this deceit, resolve misunderstandings, become closer ?? - No! You will hurt her and cause more barriers between you and maybe she will smile and not admit that she is hurt - and, if she loves you maybe she wil expect you to get a clue and learn not to call her on it next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guitar God Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I've lived many places and in my experience it seems Thai women are more likely to lie about things if they think they can get away with it. I'm not talking about hookers or scammers or women who lie for profit. It just doesn't seem to be that big of a deal to make something up if the truth is more difficult. I've seen it in little things like saying the store was out of something instead of "sorry, I forgot" or saying someone must have bumped the car in the lot instead of, "I backed into a shopping cart, again". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard peters Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) Cornish Carlos,Tiger and Dog, plus Guitar God, - You are all 100% correct, as I am in the same situation as Carlos and we just have to accept it as the way that things are in the world, plus realise the truth about "Thai culture." Edited July 17, 2015 by richard peters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Nothing to do with wives, juts a Thai cultural thing. Much more importance placed on telling people what it is thought they want to hear, than what is factually true. Also considered acceptable to tell people what will elicit the desired response, even if not factually true. Actually not just Thailand. Many parts of Asia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nidieunimaitre Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Thais lie as soon as they come in to this world it is a part of thailand , back home we are brought up not to lie but we lie sometimes in our life but Thais are just out right lies I see it all the time but that dose not mean I not like Thais and thailand I love the place to come and go but could not live there full time Punctuation was invented for a reason. That is not a lie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F4UCorsair Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) She keeps telling me how nice looking i am and havnt changed a bit in the 22 years we have been married , oh i dont know ,maybe she isnt lying after allWhenever I commented on how bad somebody looked, or modestly, how good I looked by comparison, my ex would ask me if I'd looked in a mirror recently.So, iclaudius, I respectfully suggest you do likewise....through a critical eye, of course. There is a reason she's my ex!! Edited July 17, 2015 by F4UCorsair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikemac Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 My wife has always been very loving towards me, and we have a great marriage, she can never do enough for me. She is never in a bad mood and is always cheerful and happy. I know the Thais think nothing of telling lies, and it is second nature to them, I suspect my wife has lied to me a couple of times recently, nothing serious though. I won't confront her about it as it is highly possible she has not lied to me at all. What I want to ask is, do you ever think your wife lies to you? Do you just think it is just Thainess and let it go unless it is really serious? .........................."What I want to ask is, do you ever think your wife lies to you?"............................. Thanks poss, I sprayed coffee all over my laptop screen when I read that classic question ! And my wife got a good laugh out of it as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Possum, you said, "She is never in a bad mood and is always cheerful and happy." Unless you do not know her well, or have only known her for a short time, just that would be lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerojero Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Yes, she lies. Little insignificant things. But I gently catch her and slowly she sees my West culture of truth, and now lies less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 It is not only Thai wives that tell lies. Are you 100% honest with your wife? Yes, So you've told her you put a topic on TV suspecting her of lying She's never even heard of Thaivisa. When I talk to her about Farangs I have met from Thaivisa, I just say one of my friends from the internet, or my friend from wherever they come from who I speak to on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bheard Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Yes, as all wives do Deli, please publish that photo of yours of the woman on the bench. I need a good larf! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malt25 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Thais lie as soon as they come in to this world it is a part of thailand , back home we are brought up not to lie but we lie sometimes in our life but Thais are just out right lies I see it all the time but that dose not mean I not like Thais and thailand I love the place to come and go but could not live there full time Me thinks there's lots of people very happy that you don't live here full time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 What kind of lies are you talking about? There are harmless lies....you cook her a God-awful meal and she tells you it's "just fine." Or you buy her a butt-ugly scarf for her birthday and she says she "loves it." Then there are the more serious kinds....like "he's my brother, I go stay with him tonight because he's afraid to be alone." Or "my mom in hospital, need 500,000 bt operation" when her mom is perfectly healthy and out in the fields morning to night. And everything in between. So again, what kind of lie are you referring to? Nothing like that, I'm not even sure she is lying, there is just something I want to know, if it is a lie it is harmless. The thing that I'm particularly torn about is whether a Thai girl needs to come clean about her past. I'm not even talking about BGs, but just regular girls when asked about how many guys they've been with. Nearly every "normal" Thai girl that I've dated tells me they've been intimate with only one guy in all their life (always a Thai guy, their first love). I have no way of knowing for sure (or if I even want to know), but there are times when I'm certain they're lying. Farang-hunters are a different breed, of course, and they'll happily admit/brag about how many foreigners they've been with. What's contradicting, perhaps, is that I myself would never admit to a girl about how many females I've been with. I wouldn't even admit that I'd been with a BG. So yes, we all lie or mislead in some form or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikemac Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Thais lie as soon as they come in to this world it is a part of thailand , back home we are brought up not to lie but we lie sometimes in our life but Thais are just out right lies I see it all the time but that dose not mean I not like Thais and thailand I love the place to come and go but could not live there full time Me thinks there's lots of people very happy that you don't live here full time. And I bet the lying so-and-sos just love it when he comes to visit them ! Actually I do agree with him up to a point, but you cannot say that all Thais lie outright, it would be like saying that all Thais like to eat pla-la, which is not true. But I have noticed it is more "accepted" here than it is where I come from. As is corruption and lousy driving habits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 My piece is brutally honest. Not sure if that is better or worse. Mine must be related to yours somewhere along the line Well both our wives are married to Scots. Another Scot here..... Over the years I have never known mine to lie....Nor have I come across an instance or situation when something contrary or different popped up afterwards..... She will say sorry if something has happened - many times before I'm aware of it.... She has no tolerance for gossip and will not speak with those that do..... Our 14 year old daughter has been brought up the same way and is also straight forward pretty much the same mode only not as self assured - but she will be with age..... The 7 y/o is a work in progress but turning out much the same.....If my wife notices a behavioral change that is not good from the influence of a friend then she is not allowed or monitored and coached about it..... It's a small IL family and all straight forward with no drama..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soalbundy Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Thais lie as soon as they come in to this world it is a part of thailand , back home we are brought up not to lie but we lie sometimes in our life but Thais are just out right lies I see it all the time but that dose not mean I not like Thais and thailand I love the place to come and go but could not live there full time Me thinks there's lots of people very happy that you don't live here full time. And I bet the lying so-and-sos just love it when he comes to visit them ! Actually I do agree with him up to a point, but you cannot say that all Thais lie outright, it would be like saying that all Thais like to eat pla-la, which is not true. But I have noticed it is more "accepted" here than it is where I come from. As is corruption and lousy driving habits. I think one can safely say all Thais lie as a matter of habit,it's part of their 'save face mentality', it has become inherent, it defines them, was it in Singapore that the saying 'don't Thai to me' came into being ? I wouldn't trust a Thai to tell the truth on his deathbed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dap Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 No! I don't believe my wife lies to me ... on any level. you mean, she doesn't talk to you. Operative phrase being ... "I don't believe" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neeray Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Thais lie as soon as they come in to this world it is a part of thailand , back home we are brought up not to lie but we lie sometimes in our life but Thais are just out right lies I see it all the time but that dose not mean I not like Thais and thailand I love the place to come and go but could not live there full time Punctuation was invented for a reason. That is not a lie! So very, very true "nidieunimaitre". The same can be said for spell correctors and/or digital dictionaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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