SinSot type payments

[Mudcrab]

How old is she? What's her educational background? Does she have children? How wealthy is the family?

she''s approaching 40, got a degree from Ramkemheng, her dad passed away when she was young, her 2 brothers aren't as well educated, I wouldn't describe them as rich or high so, just an ordinary work a day family, she's not got kids, not been married before (at least not admitting to it), having seen her visa application I believe that to be true.

Being almost 40 makes her value drop considerably. If she is still a virgin well then the price goes up. If she is very attractive (she must be because you love her) the price goes up. If you want to take her back to the homeland chances are she will not work ( and will join the local coffee clatching smoking gossip clubs) and you have to support her and this causes the price to go down. I would say about 50,000 bahts and a baht of gold should seal the deal. Maybe forget the gold. Just be careful I always use the rule of thumb "Never take the Thai out of Thailand" If her affection for you cools there well things could get pretty hot for you. The welfare system does not want to get stuck for your mistakes. They will come looking for you. When exposed to another culture a "Keeping up with the Jones" mentality can form. Always remember love and hate walk an awfully thin line.

disagree with all you say.

Yes he forgot to mention checking the teeth and hooves.

[Sydebolle]

Tell her there is no money coming any way. Most likely she will bolt and that's your very last opportunity to run - in the opposite direction ;-)

[smotherb]

Sin Sot is a cultural thing not limited to Thailand. Supposedly, the younger and more virginal, the better educated, and the higher societal state of the bride, the more the sin sot. A 40 year old spinster from an average family, even if childless and college educated, is not a prime sin sot candidate.

In some areas of the West, and in other areas of Asia, there is a cultural concept called dowry. Dowry is a payment from the bride's family to the groom to help him offset the costs of the marriage. Sin sot is supposedly returned to the daughter and her husband; thus both sin sot and dowry are arguably the same. However, some sin sot recipient parents did not get the message and keep the sin sot for themselves, or as they say, in case the marriage does not work out.

You will find lots of TV poster responses denigrating Thai women and the practice of sin sot. While I do not agree that all Thai women are money grubbing low-lives, I do not see sin sot in a favorable light. It reeks of barfine to me.

One would think the parents of a 40 year old spinster would be happy their daughter has a chance at marriage, family and happiness. I would work that angle and promise to love, cherish, and support their daughter, but forget about the sin sot.

[Deaw]

Despite a few of the "my relationship/marriage with a Thai worked out great in the long-term" stories, from what I have seen in my 16 years of travelling to and living in Thailand it's more common that THIS happens;

Friend from Canada meets a "good girl" from Buriram - they agree to get married desoite her being 22 and he being 45 [ who do you think is getting the better end of that deal?] and him being from a country thousands of miles away with crappy weather half the year. All in, from courting to marriage in Hong Kong, to immigration lawyers and bribes [she was Cambodian by birth] airfare, etc..... it costs my buddy 25 grand US dollars. I don't think he paid any kind of dowry but can't really be sure.

So she gets to Toronto and for the first 6 months everything is great! Honeymooners, you know......but then she wants to go home to "see Mum." Ok, at first the visits are for a month or so, and she comes right back. Then the trips to see Mum last 2 months, then three; the last time she went before they split up was 6 months! And while the weather was great in Canada and rainy in Thailand, from June to November.

She finally announces she's had enough - hey, she gave it 3 and 1/2 years, give her a break - and moves to Montreal where she gets work in a strip club and makes 500 bucks a night. Someone has to tell me the incentive for her to stay with the guy twice her age in Toronto; and don't say Love, that's completely absurd as well all know when it comes to feeding their family.

The guy was heartbroken and bewildered; he thought he had met the girl of his dreams to settle down with and have kids, etc......she knew she found the proper sucker who would take her away from poverty and give her what she really wanted; a western passport.

Moral of the story; dowry or not, you start taking Thai girls to the west and if you finally marry one they will get what they want in the end. They always do.

[Deaw]

How old is she? What's her educational background? Does she have children? How wealthy is the family?

she''s approaching 40, got a degree from Ramkemheng, her dad passed away when she was young, her 2 brothers aren't as well educated, I wouldn't describe them as rich or high so, just an ordinary work a day family, she's not got kids, not been married before (at least not admitting to it), having seen her visa application I believe that to be true.

the rules of engagement...

1. buy an golden engagement ring

2. present the wedding ring with a small amount of cash, 50k would do, in presence of her daughter, to the mother and hold a small traditional engagement ceremonie..

3. set the price for the dowry and a date for wedding. if she is a caretaker of her family, and never been married, then it ranges between 100k and 300k

4. respect her Thai traditional values , the same as you would like her to respect yours in your country...

5. take care of the mother financially, same as the girlfriend did before... monthly between 3 and 6k.

follow the rules, be an happy man...

And once the family back in Thailand finds out what kind of money the guy makes- even if he's working an average job he's wealthy compared to the typical Thai - you really don't think this monthly rate will go up? You think Mum will be happy with a measly 5K baht when her friends and family members find out the western guy makes 2 million a year?

[AussieRules]

Daew, I understand your stance, this girl is not "that" type of lady, however I very much doubt she'd work in a strip club and "seems" to be sincere relatively honest girl.

I've been visiting Thailand for a similar length of time to yourself so know the ins and outs.

I also know its not that far from the bars to the office.

[Deaw]

She has 2 brothers who are uneducated; they will be wanting/needing money some day, as will cousins, uncles and nieces.

Family always number one to a Thai family. Be prepared to help.

[MaeJoMTB]

I do not see sin sot in a favorable light. It reeks of barfine to me.

lol,

Can I pay your mum a barfine?

[nidieunimaitre]

Sin Sot is a cultural thing not limited to Thailand. Supposedly, the younger and more virginal, the better educated, and the higher societal state of the bride, the more the sin sot. A 40 year old spinster from an average family, even if childless and college educated, is not a prime sin sot candidate.

In some areas of the West, and in other areas of Asia, there is a cultural concept called dowry. Dowry is a payment from the bride's family to the groom to help him offset the costs of the marriage. Sin sot is supposedly returned to the daughter and her husband; thus both sin sot and dowry are arguably the same. However, some sin sot recipient parents did not get the message and keep the sin sot for themselves, or as they say, in case the marriage does not work out.

You will find lots of TV poster responses denigrating Thai women and the practice of sin sot. While I do not agree that all Thai women are money grubbing low-lives, I do not see sin sot in a favorable light. It reeks of barfine to me.

One would think the parents of a 40 year old spinster would be happy their daughter has a chance at marriage, family and happiness. I would work that angle and promise to love, cherish, and support their daughter, but forget about the sin sot.

I am a non native English speaker.

I am intrigued by your expression "spinster".

What is the male equivalent?

Could it be "beer bellied old sexpat"?

I thank you in advance for your kind help.

[smotherb]

I am a non native English speaker.

I am intrigued by your expression "spinster".

What is the male equivalent?

Could it be "beer bellied old sexpat"?

I thank you in advance for your kind help.

Beer bellied old sexpat is probably not equivalent to a spinster because being a spinster, like being an old maid, is usually not construed to describe a sexually active or sex seeking female. However, since the stigma of being single is not generally derogatory toward men, there is no real equivalent. Perhaps something like an unwilling bachelor; meaning to say he is looking, but cannot find a mate.

[blackcab]

Sin Sot is a cultural thing not limited to Thailand. Supposedly, the younger and more virginal, the better educated, and the higher societal state of the bride, the more the sin sot. A 40 year old spinster from an average family, even if childless and college educated, is not a prime sin sot candidate.

In some areas of the West, and in other areas of Asia, there is a cultural concept called dowry. Dowry is a payment from the bride's family to the groom to help him offset the costs of the marriage. Sin sot is supposedly returned to the daughter and her husband; thus both sin sot and dowry are arguably the same. However, some sin sot recipient parents did not get the message and keep the sin sot for themselves, or as they say, in case the marriage does not work out.

You will find lots of TV poster responses denigrating Thai women and the practice of sin sot. While I do not agree that all Thai women are money grubbing low-lives, I do not see sin sot in a favorable light. It reeks of barfine to me.

One would think the parents of a 40 year old spinster would be happy their daughter has a chance at marriage, family and happiness. I would work that angle and promise to love, cherish, and support their daughter, but forget about the sin sot.

I am a non native English speaker.

I am intrigued by your expression "spinster".

What is the male equivalent?

Could it be "beer bellied old sexpat"?

I thank you in advance for your kind help.

Bachelor.

[whooshbang]

I'm kinda in the same situation here. been with a Thai girl for 1.5 years and when i visit this December it's meet the parents time. We haven't any solid plans to get married but we talked of it and i have mentioned the sin sot to her and she laughed it off and said "you don't worry about sin sot". I told her in the interests of tradition i should at least bring a gift for my first visit in december. Fruit being the obvious first choice but then she says "I buy mom some gold ok, only small and tell her you buy". doesn't sound like a golddigger to me!

now am I missing something here? I don;t know. In the event she were to move to my home country she wants to work and send money home because after my mortgage and bills it isn't gonna come outta my pocket. Thats been established.

A few people on this thread have mentioned never to take a Thai girl to your home country.... why? Is that based on the slim chance that when she's got a passport she will ultimately do one?

I don't think all these girls are cut from the same cloth so i am gonna give it whirl. worse case scenario i am a few grand down and broken hearted (been there before)..... best case scenario I live a long happy life with a beautiful, caring and kind lady.

OP try telling her you are not willing to pay that much sin sot and see how she reacts.

Edited July 20, 2015 by whooshbang

[NeverSure]

For what it's worth...............

I met my lady 3 years ago, and we have absolutely NO problems.

When it became obvious that she wanted to move in with me, I asked her how much she sent her mother each month. She answered, 4,000 baht.

So at the very beginning we made a deal. She stops sending money to her mother..........I will never marry her.........I will never pay sinsod or dowry, and I don't support Thai families. I don't even give her regular money every month

However that said...........I pay all the bills, and make sure my lady always has money in her purse. She has all the gold and possessions that she wants.

I don't have any other family, and so my lady is the sole beneficiary of my Thai will, and when I am gone, if she is careful, she will never have to work again.

And, just to add some more ammunition to the sneering comments I expect from this post, I am 67 years old, and my lady was 31 years old yesterday.

"She has all the gold and possessions that she wants."

"I don't have any other family, and so my lady is the sole beneficiary of my Thai will, and when I am gone, if she is careful, she will never have to work again."

Well, aren't you the smart one, LOL.

[NeverSure]

Sin Sot is a cultural thing not limited to Thailand. Supposedly, the younger and more virginal, the better educated, and the higher societal state of the bride, the more the sin sot. A 40 year old spinster from an average family, even if childless and college educated, is not a prime sin sot candidate.

In some areas of the West, and in other areas of Asia, there is a cultural concept called dowry. Dowry is a payment from the bride's family to the groom to help him offset the costs of the marriage. Sin sot is supposedly returned to the daughter and her husband; thus both sin sot and dowry are arguably the same. However, some sin sot recipient parents did not get the message and keep the sin sot for themselves, or as they say, in case the marriage does not work out.

You will find lots of TV poster responses denigrating Thai women and the practice of sin sot. While I do not agree that all Thai women are money grubbing low-lives, I do not see sin sot in a favorable light. It reeks of barfine to me.

One would think the parents of a 40 year old spinster would be happy their daughter has a chance at marriage, family and happiness. I would work that angle and promise to love, cherish, and support their daughter, but forget about the sin sot.

I am a non native English speaker.

I am intrigued by your expression "spinster".

What is the male equivalent?

Could it be "beer bellied old sexpat"?

I thank you in advance for your kind help.

Bachelor.

I'm used to thinking that a bachelor could have been divorced multiple times but is currently single. I don't know a male equivalent for spinster. My idea of a spinster is an older woman who's never been married and is probably a virgin.

Dunno.

[ozyjon]

Oh god here we go again

Oh god ,, here we go again, twice.

[ericthai]

I'm kinda in the same situation here. been with a Thai girl for 1.5 years and when i visit this December it's meet the parents time. We haven't any solid plans to get married but we talked of it and i have mentioned the sin sot to her and she laughed it off and said "you don't worry about sin sot". I told her in the interests of tradition i should at least bring a gift for my first visit in december. Fruit being the obvious first choice but then she says "I buy mom some gold ok, only small and tell her you buy". doesn't sound like a golddigger to me!

now am I missing something here? I don;t know. In the event she were to move to my home country she wants to work and send money home because after my mortgage and bills it isn't gonna come outta my pocket. Thats been established.

A few people on this thread have mentioned never to take a Thai girl to your home country.... why? Is that based on the slim chance that when she's got a passport she will ultimately do one?

I don't think all these girls are cut from the same cloth so i am gonna give it whirl. worse case scenario i am a few grand down and broken hearted (been there before)..... best case scenario I live a long happy life with a beautiful, caring and kind lady.

OP try telling her you are not willing to pay that much sin sot and see how she reacts.

You're correct they are not all the same.

Most of the guys tell stories about a friend of a friend had this happen or that happen, very few 1st hand stories. Now I wont say there aren't any gold diggers in Thailand, as Thailand has more than it's fair share. However, If a guy comes to Thailand gets a girl friend or marries a girl then pays a big sin Sod, builds house, buys a car and then has no money and is broke I blame the guy. If you have limited funds then dont be stupid and spend all your money!

I worked and lived in Thailand almost 20 years. I went through my share of girls before I got married. I was with my girl for 4 years before we got married.

Sin Sod was 100,000 Baht and was given back the next day, just a show thing. A few months later her father gave her 9 rai of land. I have some good friends in Thailand that married Thai girls and only one had a problem, but she was a train wreck and we all told him not to, some need to live and learn. The rest of my friends are all still married, however they all lived in Thailand for several years and didnt marry the 1st girl they met. None of them had a big age gap either, mine is the biggest age gap of 14 years difference.

OP hard to say what the Sin Sod should be as there are variables, education, wealth of the family, her job etc. I would speak to her that your friends that got married in Thailand got the Sin Sod back and see what she says. So many telling you not to get married, dont trust a thai etc. Only you can decide if you think she is genuine and not looking to take you for a ride. You said she is 40, how old are you? I wish you all the best and remember not all Thai girls are the same, just like all the girls from the UK or USA are not all the same.

Good Luck!!

[cornishcarlos]

2 mil for me, bargain...

We got it all back plus land, everyones a winner

[jacko45k]

You marrying her or her mother?

Can't have one without the other......as the song goes, Jacko

It doesn't have to be that way, a less demanding relationship on your part may suit you better.

Whatever happens, you let it happen.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I paid 1.3 million Baht but my wife is not a bargirl and has only ever had 1 previous boyfriend. She is very very pretty, slim and is constantly mistaken for a Farrang. She could have continued her modelling and product marketing work but she met me. She was 22 years old when we met. She comes from a very decent working large family. They own lots of land and have their own businesses in Thailand and overseas. They don't ask me for anything as I paid what they wanted and that's it. If I offer extra to pay for a new motorbike or something they take it and are very grateful so I don't mind but they don't expect anything. There are no money grabbers in this family. I am one of the lucky ones but I have heard lots of bad stories usually involving bargirls.

I love posts like this where the author thinks the average Thai visa poster is an idiot. I paid 1.3 million sinsod, the family is very rich and owns land and business all over the world. They never ask me for anything, but I paid for their motorbike and they are grateful. Lol.... Some rich family

[Bakseeda]

Depends on how much you love her... at her age she should be pretty cheap... How much per month did she give her mother, She was married before, so she is second-hand. Really just cover the amount she gave her mom each month , and perhaps 50,000bahts. The gold ring, bracelet and necklace are a Must.. even if you sell it back to the shop after the ceremony... Be happy whatever and long may it last...

[Scouse123]

A bit sad when many posters are referring to this man's love like a piece of meat in a market bidding auction.

Many on here embittered by their own foolish mistakes and feel they have to pour scorn on others. The Sin Sod question was posed by the OP and was not requested by his lady.

Why not have a sit down, meal and chat with her about this matter as you have all the help you are going to get here along with plenty of unhelpful bitterness.

[peterb0576]

Give them nothing and expect nothing make's life a lot better. I got married in the UK, when her mum went on about i owe her millions of bht, I gave her a bill for 850,000bht for our wedding flights etc, she wet herself when i told her wife family must pay for wedding.Know to scared to ask for money, her and hubbys income is about 65,000bht pcm,why do they need money from me

[elgenon]

Sorry to not answer your question but I am very curious as to how she qualified for a tourist visa.

[Suitcase]

Just give her a voided check for 2 million baht and let them

frame it and hang on the wall for all their friends to see.

No need for any money to change hands!

(Many guys say they get the sin sod returned after the wedding

which I think is BS cause when a Thai gets money only in a very rare

case do you get it returned.)

[Anon999]

Give her and her family a big bag of sweet FA.

Getting pressured by her parents to get married. Yeah right that old chestnut.

Where are you from? Tell her and her family that in the Western world the father pays for his daughters wedding. Tell them you need 1 mil baht from them to marry their "not for sale" daughter.

They'll soon change their tune then. The family will then pressure her to leave you and find someone a lot more gullible.

Can tell you don't bother to read the posts like many on here. Her FATHER PASSED AWAY WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG. Does that make a difference?

[GlutinousMaximus]

A few people on this thread have mentioned never to take a Thai girl to your home country.... why? Is that based on the slim chance that when she's got a passport she will ultimately do one?

Yes there is that - plus check out the divorce laws in <insert your farang homeland here> vs those in Thailand. I'm no expert, but as far as I'm aware, under Thai divorce law, you get to keep any assets that were yours before the marriage. If you're divorced in farangland, no such restrictions apply.

Divorce laws can be also be very hazy about 'domicile' and 'country of residence' etc. , so even if you lived back in farangland just for a few years, the divorce laws might work against you. It's no coincidence that women married to wealthy men who have quite tenuous connections to the UK are moving heaven and earth to get their cases tried there (because they're so advantageous to women).

I would say to anyone considering marriage, treat it like a business contract. I'd say it's definitely worth spending maybe 500 dollars on a 1-2 hour consultation with a good divorce lawyer to see what the ramifications might be for you down the road if things go pear-shaped (bearing in mind also that in 10+ years' time you could be considerably wealthier).

Edited July 21, 2015 by GlutinousMaximus

[cornishcarlos]

Just give her a voided check for 2 million baht and let them

frame it and hang on the wall for all their friends to see.

No need for any money to change hands!

(Many guys say they get the sin sod returned after the wedding

which I think is BS cause when a Thai gets money only in a very rare

case do you get it returned.)

Think its BS all you like... Most of the younger Thais get it back too, at least all the ones I know of and I have been to at least 10 weddings in the last year. Even Thai culture changes slowly but some people will always fear being ripped off.

Kinda like the thread running now about soi dogs attacking, you work out the connection there

[misterphil]

Give her and her family a big bag of sweet FA.

Getting pressured by her parents to get married. Yeah right that old chestnut.

Where are you from? Tell her and her family that in the Western world the father pays for his daughters wedding. Tell them you need 1 mil baht from them to marry their "not for sale" daughter.

They'll soon change their tune then. The family will then pressure her to leave you and find someone a lot more gullible.

Can tell you don't bother to read the posts like many on here. Her FATHER PASSED AWAY WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG. Does that make a difference?

Yes I read that post #9 but don't believe a word of it, so no it doesn't make a difference at all.

[AussieRules]

. So many telling you not to get married, dont trust a thai etc. Only you can decide if you think she is genuine and not looking to take you for a ride. You said she is 40, how old are you? I wish you all the best and remember not all Thai girls are the same, just like all the girls from the UK or USA are not all the same.

she is late 30's approaching 40, I'm about 6 or 7 years older.

In the past I've enjoyed the bar scene and all that is part and parcel of that and have been striving for more meaningful encounters for around 4 years now

[AussieRules]

Sorry to not answer your question but I am very curious as to how she qualified for a tourist visa.

We just applied via my home country's online visa portal, used a bit of common sense and supplied the relevant documentary evidence