How much is enough?

[bil2054]

Okay, I am sure this has been discussed before, but I think it is a subject perhaps needing an occasional refresher as the economy is always a changing.

I have a girlfriend who works very hard, and has been for a long time as she raised a wonderful daughter on her own. One of the attractions for me about her.

She would like to retire from her position, and I do not blame her. They work the heck out of her, and of course "promoted" her to a salaried position.

Now the problem.... I only have 104,000+ BT income per month. That is nearly four times what she has been getting by on.... not thriving, but getting by.

"We" have put a deposit on a house, which we were supposed to be looking at. I asked her daughter, who would be contributing a little to the household expenses, and she "Really, really likes" the place. Good enough for dear old potential step-dad... the idea is that after s few years we will "retire" to Chiang Mai and leave the daughter sole possessor of the house.

Mortgage would run about 26,000BT a month. a new car about 10,000. That leaves about 70,000BT for a couple to live on. Given that the government requires 40,000 for a married couple that seems pretty good, especially with no rent to be concerned about.

The dear woman can squeeze a vapour out of a bhat, and I do not have any costly vices....about a six pack of Heineken a month.

Is she right? Or is she trying to "gently" ease me aside, d'ya think?

I am more than happy to contribute to family maintenance.... that has been around 20,000 a month, and about the same for past debt, which would be retired in about ten months more.

Am I nuts, or are Thais just not really good with maths?

Edited October 7, 2015 by bil2054

[PS2]

Am I nuts, or are Thais just not really good with maths?

a= your age

b= her age

c= your weight

d= her weight

success < (a-(b*2)+c-(d*3))

[Soutpeel]

Only you can decide if your nuts or not....of course you will get the resident cheap charlies howling in protest....

The question you have to answer is if it all goes to Sh@t at some point in the future 1 do you have a slush fund 2 can you start over easily...lesson learned and move on ? Or will you be on the pavement without an appliance to urinate in ?

[surangw]

thai question How much you give?

reply to your answer " not enough"

easier to say "not enough" when they ask how much you give

[Cypress Hill]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

Edited October 7, 2015 by Cypress Hill

[NeverSure]

[smokie36]

Are you happy and secure in your relationship...and that means both of you....that's the real question here.

The comment about a slush fund has a good value for you as well.

[peterrabbit]

You only have to understand the 'game' that Thais play.

1. Come up with any plausible explanation that the 'stupid Falang' will believe is genuine.

2. Milk the falang for all you can.

3. When falang bank account empty - discard falang.

Ask yourself one question. Would she be proposing this same scenario to a Thai man?

[Alration]

What you first need to do is to explain your problem or question in a manner that makes sense.

What do you mean "is she right"? Is she right about what?

Are you asking if others think that you can survive on the amount you've got each month?

[Alration]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

How old is your wife or girlfriend? That's just as relevant.

[Cypress Hill]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

[asdecas]

I'll get me pipe and cardigan...

[canuckamuck]

Why are you buying her daughter a house if you are going to move in two years? What you need to do is rent and then reassess your situation as the story changes. And the story will change. This is a culture that sees nothing wrong with making a new commitment every time the blows and forgetting the last one just as fast.

2 years in you will have a better grip on what to do.

[catman20]

sounds like trouble ahead

[ronthai]

Only 104.000+, so don't complain while living in Thailand. No need for the word ONLY!

Otherwise, it is your money, you might bite the dust, might not, just don't spend more than you can loose and don't make babies, because you might have to run away.

[faraday]

Leave your house to your 'daughter' by all means,but after you die.

As you don't have an excess of cash, why should you give it away?

What's the age difference between you?

[MaeJoMTB]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

What did I post yesterday!

Moves in, then can't or won't work.

This one appears to have a grown up daughter, so I assume over 40....... what are these guys thinking?

@OP

If you gotta pay, buy yourself a young one.

Loads of 30 year olds will settle for this kind of money.

@CH

OP appears to be 62 from his nick.

Edited October 8, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[tonray]

I know you are trying to look good to your GF...but buying her daughter a house is not smart, With 100K + income every month you can live better than 95% of all Thais and Farangs in Thailand. Rent a nice place....give your step-daughter a nice suite and enjoy life whilst banking a bit every month for later in life. In Thailand never a good idea to pour out loads of cash on purchases that can be legally taken away in minutes leaving you with nothing.

If your Gf and Daughter want a house, make them keep working and pay off the mortgage, you can pay equivalent rent, ie what you would have paid on your own for rental of similart arrangment to help them while you live there. if the living arrangment chages someday (you are out) they will bear responsibility for the mortgage and not you.

Edited October 8, 2015 by tonray

[KonaRain]

Never ending story...

I'm starting to see the 'game'...

[1FinickyOne]

had a little problem on clarity too - is she right about what? Are you setting up a 2nd household for her daughter and paying for that too? Though it sounds like you have already done that… and done the math - and it already sounds as if you have given your word… do you already have a place in CM? Will the currency fluctuations effect you? Have you savings? Savings for medical as you age? considered vacations and miscellaneous expenses?

there is a lot that goes into a budget - maybe most important might be how much bank you have for fall back...

[louse1953]

I know you are trying to look good to your GF...but buying her daughter a house is not smart, With 100K + income every month you can live better than 95% of all Thais and Farangs in Thailand. Rent a nice place....give your step-daughter a nice suite and enjoy life whilst banking a bit every month for later in life. In Thailand never a good idea to pour out loads of cash on purchases that can be legally taken away in minutes leaving you with nothing.

If your Gf and Daughter want a house, make them keep working and pay off the mortgage, you can pay equivalent rent, ie what you would have paid on your own for rental of similart arrangment to help them while you live there. if the living arrangment chages someday (you are out) they will bear responsibility for the mortgage and not you.

Op seems to have disappeared,always a sign.Slow game setup if this is at all true.

[SOTIRIOS]

...with all due respect....for whatever reason....you are delusional....

...and by all accounts a masochist....

[jollyranchers]

why does a relationship with a thai woman always have to be by contract?

[PhillyBoy]

Why don't you pay for a small apartment for the daughter if you want to help and buy a small house for you and the wifey in CM. Then when you die you can leave it to the wife and when she dies can leave to the daughter. That is usually the way it works in the West also.

I am sorry but this does not sound like a smart idea as you have described.

Philly

[louse1953]

Get a house then move,now that's forward thinking.Then pay for former home AND CAR,and rent/buy in CM.Are you doing the mum and the daughter!!!,or are they doing you.Nobody could be this dumb,naive,green could they?

[12DrinkMore]

The OP is not good at figures.

1. OP is paying 20,000 for "family maintenance".

2. OP is paying ANOTHER 20,000 for debts his GF has incurred.

3. OP is about to pay 26,000 for the mortgage.

4. OP is about to pay 10,000 debt for the car.

Then add in the Chiang Mai extra expenses.

5. OP is about to pay say 15,000 rent.

And on top of that GF is earning 25,000 / month and wants to retire. And don't expect the daughter to contribute. More like, "please can you give me 20,000 Baht, I just lost my smartphone again".

I find the OP overly generous.

This is not something I would want to do.

How long is the mortgage? The GF cannot earn enough to cover it, so if things go tits up or the OP expires before the mortgage is paid off the house will have to be sold.

But if the OP experiences heaven on earth everyday with his GF and adopted daughter, well, go for it.

I wouldn't.

100,000 is a lot of fun money......

I would burn through that with a series of shallow pointless relationships........

Or travel to a few places I haven't been yet.

[mamypoko]

Please forgive me for the shameless segue... math vs. maths

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbZCECvoaTA

[louse1953]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

How old is the daughter?I could hookup and enjoy the party.

[F4UCorsair]

Nuts!! Nuts !! NUTS !!!

You're about to be hosed down. Run.....fast and far.

[thaiduncankk]

I know you are trying to look good to your GF...but buying her daughter a house is not smart, With 100K + income every month you can live better than 95% of all Thais and Farangs in Thailand. Rent a nice place....give your step-daughter a nice suite and enjoy life whilst banking a bit every month for later in life. In Thailand never a good idea to pour out loads of cash on purchases that can be legally taken away in minutes leaving you with nothing.

If your Gf and Daughter want a house, make them keep working and pay off the mortgage, you can pay equivalent rent, ie what you would have paid on your own for rental of similart arrangment to help them while you live there. if the living arrangment chages someday (you are out) they will bear responsibility for the mortgage and not you.

Op seems to have disappeared,always a sign.Slow game setup if this is at all true.

A pity.

I was looking forward to following this thread.

I love all the 'but mine is different' threads.

Keep them coming.