Divorce in Isaan

[janpharma]

Since New Year my wife started having an affair with another farang. Of course she never told me...I took care of her and her 2 children since 8 years and this year I also paid for the University of the daughter. In June, the (disabled) new boy friend feared that she would come back to me. He phoned to me saying that he was having "a sexual relationship" with her for which he paid her 15.000.- Thb/month and also gave her presents (clothes, gold etc...). My wife deinied everything but more and more people in Prakhon Chai were talking about her. I asked the boy-friend to write me a declaration about this affair...and he did. Than I went to the Court in Buriram in order to obtain a divorce. My wife also came with a Lawyer and demanded the (almost new) house + 10.000.000.-Thb. (She is not Hi-So, she came from a bar in Pattaya). After 3 hrs of discussion her demand went down to 800.000.-Thb +house.

I told heer that she could keep the house ( costed me 1,8 mio) but I didn't see any reason to pay her.

The (female) Judge and the lawyer insisted that I had to "do something" and even threatened me saying that if I didn't, I could be sentenced at the next hearing (Feb 2016). So I offered to give 300.000.-Thb for the daughter's studies. My wife refused and I will have to go back to Court again...

Even having the written prove...they don't take this in consideration.

[Jip99]

That does not sound at all right Jan.

Which lawyer did you use in Buriram?

[DILLIGAD]

Spend your money on a good lawyer (preferably, one that knows the Judge).

Been there, got the T shirt.

Best of luck to you.

Edited October 17, 2015 by DILLIGAD

[robblok]

I don't want to be a pessimist but in many countries adultery does not mean much during a divorce. It does not help much on how much you are obliged to pay. In Thailand you have to pay 50% of the increase in your money possessions during marriage.

So if you had 100.000 in the bank and a 10.000.000 house before the marriage and 200.000 and a 10.000.000 house at the moment of divorce you have to pay for the 100.000 increase (50% of that).

[Farma]

That sounds normal.

Prior to accepting the case the court will attempt arbitration. In your situation it sounds like your wife is playing the long game by rejecting your offer.

Once the arbitrartion fails, the case then goes before the court and can drag on for years with delays, further hearings and appeals.

I suggest you get good legal advice and weigh up if the legal costs (which quickly add up) and the stress plus time the case could last are worth it.

Time between hearings can be 3 or 4 months.

Been there done that and my lawyer years ago told me proving adultery in court even with what I thought was solid proof is hard. We opted for different reason for the divorce.

[DILLIGAD]

In reality a Farang isn't likely to own a house in Thailand before marriage so offering her 100% of the house should be seen as a nice 'compromise' rather than claiming half of it.

[robblok]

In reality a Farang isn't likely to own a house in Thailand before marriage so offering her 100% of the house should be seen as a nice 'compromise' rather than claiming half of it.

True but he could have owned the money for the house, the value of the house has to be taken into account. But it would be smart for the guy to get a lawyer because it might help and save some money. A 10.000.000 house is not a small thing.

[lopburi3]

There is no 10 million baht house. 1.8 was what was posted.

Actually from previous postings of OP having moved to Pattaya area last year without wife expect it may appear he deserted her to a judge and expect speculations would be that this might not be limited to her.

[happylarry]

The "written proof" that you refer to will only be used to effect the divorce, which presumably the judge has accepted and acted upon thereby ending the marriage. (you didn't say). Once you are divorced then the financial situation is looked at separately and "normally" all relevant assets are considered, but the reason for the divorce is no longer valid. You made no mention of having a lawyer yourself so we can only assume that you didn't so this would be the first thing to put right, yes it will cost a bit but the fee could be peanuts compared with what they could save you.

HL

[maprao]

Leave and go back home or move to the PI

[prakhonchai nick]

Judges do not usually spend several hours with both sets of lawyers thrashing out terms of a settlement. The lawyers do this betwen themselves and present an agreed situation to a judge

.

And why would Jan be "sentenced " at the next hearing? He has done nothing wrong. Without an agreed settlement, a divorce would not be granted, and there would be requirement to pay any settlement monies.

Jan I think, has his facts a bit mixed up.

[happylarry]

PM sent

HL

[Farma]

From reading the OP I think Jan is unsure of the proceedings.

I get the impression the negotiation he had was the initial hearing to decide if a settlement can be reached prior to going to trial. The judges try to find a quick solution through arbitration rather than dragging it all out with a trial.

As it appears no settlement was reached, the case will proceed with a number of hearings over the coming months or years for evidence and arguments to be submitted. That will include appeals and appeals on appeals before a court verdict for divorce is issued. The evidence will be accepted during the coming hearings.

My initial appearance saw the 3 judges ask both parties plus lawyers to approach the bench. We were both asked what we would accept in settlement and when no agreement was reached the case went ahead.

Jan's "sentencing" is a misunderstanding and I believe it means the next hearing or the start of the case.

At the end of all the appeals a court verdict for divorce will be issued with any financial conditions listed as part of the verdict. It is then up to the parties to settle their financial requirement with proof to the court before the verdict document is taken to the Umphur for the divorce to be registered.

Edited October 17, 2015 by Farma

[puchooay]

This sounds strange. My experiences of the family court in Buriram is that the judge is very fair. As it seems that Jan does not have a lawyer I wonder who told him about the sentencing. Unless Jan speaks good Thai then I would suggest that the story may have been exaggerated. Time to get legal advice.

[prakhonchai nick]

Why bother with a divorce Jan?

Unless you want to re-marry, stay as you are. Leave the wife. Have a legal letter of separation sent to her setting out why you have left, and then get on with your life (seemingly in Pattaya according to an earlier post)

That way there is no settlement necessary. You have already lost the house. Why lose money too.

Let the wife sue for divorce, then come up with the evidence/documents etc you have, and make sure that any money you have is suitably "lost".

[happylarry]

From reading the OP I think Jan is unsure of the proceedings.

I get the impression the negotiation he had was the initial hearing to decide if a settlement can be reached prior to going to trial. The judges try to find a quick solution through arbitration rather than dragging it all out with a trial.

As it appears no settlement was reached, the case will proceed with a number of hearings over the coming months or years for evidence and arguments to be submitted. That will include appeals and appeals on appeals before a court verdict for divorce is issued. The evidence will be accepted during the coming hearings.

My initial appearance saw the 3 judges ask both parties plus lawyers to approach the bench. We were both asked what we would accept in settlement and when no agreement was reached the case went ahead.

Jan's "sentencing" is a misunderstanding and I believe it means the next hearing or the start of the case.

At the end of all the appeals a court verdict for divorce will be issued with any financial conditions listed as part of the verdict. It is then up to the parties to settle their financial requirement with proof to the court before the verdict document is taken to the Umphur for the divorce to be registered.

This is a very well written post and I have to admit being wrong in my earlier post, I misunderstood what I was quoting, for

which I apologise. The divorce is not finalised until the finances are sorted out just as Farma states.

HL

[inzman]

In Thailand assets are divided 50/50 even if they fight it. I know I went through it. Court is very fair. Get a new lawyer.

[AdamRich]

From reading the OP I think Jan is unsure of the proceedings.

I get the impression the negotiation he had was the initial hearing to decide if a settlement can be reached prior to going to trial. The judges try to find a quick solution through arbitration rather than dragging it all out with a trial.

As it appears no settlement was reached, the case will proceed with a number of hearings over the coming months or years for evidence and arguments to be submitted. That will include appeals and appeals on appeals before a court verdict for divorce is issued. The evidence will be accepted during the coming hearings.

My initial appearance saw the 3 judges ask both parties plus lawyers to approach the bench. We were both asked what we would accept in settlement and when no agreement was reached the case went ahead.

Jan's "sentencing" is a misunderstanding and I believe it means the next hearing or the start of the case.

At the end of all the appeals a court verdict for divorce will be issued with any financial conditions listed as part of the verdict. It is then up to the parties to settle their financial requirement with proof to the court before the verdict document is taken to the Umphur for the divorce to be registered.

This is a very well written post and I have to admit being wrong in my earlier post, I misunderstood what I was quoting, for

which I apologise. The divorce is not finalised until the finances are sorted out just as Farma states.

HL

The idea of the post is good, however the poster's knowledge and use of legal jargon leaves something to be desired. You definitely do not want to march into court and ask for arbitration. That means the arbiter/judge assigns who gets what. In an arbitration you have no say. Arbitration is usually used because it has previously been written into a contract in order to avoid the more expensive and time consuming litigation or going to trial.

I think the term he meant was mediation, where the two sides come together in private and negotiate back and forth in order to try to come to an agreement.

In addition he said that after all the appeals. Well you can not appeal a decision until after a verdict is reached. Otherwise what would you be appealing?

Also, the "verdict document" that he mentioned is called a decree.

As many have said you need a lawyer. He who represents himself has a fool for a client. I have been that fool several times (would never do it in Thailand though), but fortunately all of the outcomes were successful for me.

[Nomyai]

The dis-abled bf sound like quite a catch? Distributing money hand over feet!

The op sounds quite like the old cliche-and not in a good way!

My kudos to op saying girl from a bar in Pattaya! at least he knows what he is dealing with. Good Luck cakefruit!

Edited October 17, 2015 by Nomyai

[MaeJoMTB]

That's the 3rd this week.

I bought her a house, I bought her a car, now I'm out.

The ugly truth is, she only ever wanted the house and the car, you weren't going to spend much more and she knows it.

Asking us for advice is a little bit like a guy jumping off a balcony then phoning for help before he hits the ground.

Seeing as you have already gone to court and been warned of the likely outcome.

What you do is take your money and anything else you can sell/carry/offload then leave the country and don't look back.

Some people, that are less forgiving than myself, have been known to bulldoze/burn down the house on the way out.

Shouldn't have bought the house for cash!

Sorry for your loss, it could have been worse, and still can be.

PS

Why would you even consider throwing more money at her?

Edited October 17, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[Nomyai]

That's the 3rd this week.

I bought her a house, I bought her a car, now I'm out.

The ugly truth is, she only ever wanted the house and the car, you weren't going to spend much more and she knows it.

Asking us for advice is a little bit like a guy jumping off a balcony then phoning for help before he hits the ground.

Seeing as you have already gone to court and been warned of the likely outcome.

What you do is take your money and anything else you can sell/carry/offload then leave the country and don't look back.

Some people, that are less forgiving than myself, have been known to bulldoze/burn down the house on the way out.

Shouldn't have bought the house for cash!

Sorry for your loss, it could have been worse, and still can be.

See the sad tale of Yoshi-oka san.

[swissie]

Why bother with a divorce Jan?

Unless you want to re-marry, stay as you are. Leave the wife. Have a legal letter of separation sent to her setting out why you have left, and then get on with your life (seemingly in Pattaya according to an earlier post)

That way there is no settlement necessary. You have already lost the house. Why lose money too.

Let the wife sue for divorce, then come up with the evidence/documents etc you have, and make sure that any money you have is suitably "lost".

Quote: Let the wife sue for divorce, then come up with the evidence/documents etc you have, and make sure that any money you have is suitably "lost".

As long as the whole thing is "in Limbo", one should "loose" as much money as possible.

- IMO this thread should be moved to the sub-forum "Marriage & Divorce", especially since the posts so far do not include the "house-factor" enough. There is more to it.

Cheers.

[mihalis]

I don't want to be a pessimist but in many countries adultery does not mean much during a divorce. It does not help much on how much you are obliged to pay. In Thailand you have to pay 50% of the increase in your money possessions during marriage.

So if you had 100.000 in the bank and a 10.000.000 house before the marriage and 200.000 and a 10.000.000 house at the moment of divorce you have to pay for the 100.000 increase (50% of that).

Adultery means nothing in a divorce, my mate got raped by his cheating English wife in Australia, took 60 %..

[mihalis]

your fist mistake, she came from a bar in Pattaya !! Get a better lawyer.....

[canarysun]

I must admit i don't live in the " Movie World " but i would be very tempted to empty my bank accounts and burn down the house on the way out and go home.Perhaps it's not the right thing to do but it will certainly cause you less " bitterness " for months and years to come......

F.J

[12DrinkMore]

Why pay her any cash? I do not understand this.

She already has the next sucker hooked.

15,000 / month plus gold plus extras.

She can get her arse in a job.

You have paid enough.

[ggt]

she came from a bar in Pattaya)...There's your sigh...

Thai apologists would say you got what you deserved...this is Thailand...you knew the odds going into the marriage...you are the farang with deep pockets trying to take advantage of this poor Thai woman who is only doing what Thai women do...

Let this be a lesson to you and others who venture into waters filled with hungry man-eating sharks...

[Mudcrab]

I don't want to be a pessimist but in many countries adultery does not mean much during a divorce. It does not help much on how much you are obliged to pay. In Thailand you have to pay 50% of the increase in your money possessions during marriage.

So if you had 100.000 in the bank and a 10.000.000 house before the marriage and 200.000 and a 10.000.000 house at the moment of divorce you have to pay for the 100.000 increase (50% of that).

Adultery means nothing in a divorce, my mate got raped by his cheating English wife in Australia, took 60 %..

Does in Thailand....read the law...all on the man's side.

Adultery if proven is grounds for divorce...but only for the man.

[Mudcrab]

She left you for a disabled man?

Better than leaving you for another woman.......I guess.

[FredNL]

What do you expect from a bar girl (prostitute) from Pattaya ???

Get yourself a good (divorce) lawyer.

Edited October 17, 2015 by FredNL