Etiquette for paying restaurant bill?

[flyingdoc]

I agree with Dog. no 1

[Isitjustme]

On this subject...met a girl a few yrs ago,who invited me to stay with her family for the night...in the morning i was ready to leave but in passing said i was calling into Tesco for some odds & ends..she said can "we" come...sure i can give you a lift..with that the "family" all jumped in my truck......mum/dad/2 brothers/2sisters + an other.

On arrival at tesco they grabbed a trolly and disappeared...in a few minutes i got what i needed paid and waited for them...fully 45 minutes later they showed with the trolly overloaded,it took 2 of them to push it....i thought ..HOLD ON..who's paying here...as they got to cashier the girl said "you pay,you have money"...i said "YES OF COURSE" let me go to car to get money...with that was out into the car park & gone...Lewis hamilton would not have got away quicker...Last i saw of her was running after my truck shouting & screaming...i did pick up a few words like "cheap charlie"....to this day i often wonder how much it would have come to.

Hahaha yes some of them certainly like to try it on. Not Thai-bashing or tight-fisted but this reminded me of an incident a few years back.

I'd just found a new place to live, nice detached house been stood empty a while but needed a lot of cleaning-up. A girl I'd befriended offered to clean it for me and duly arrived with a couple of friends and set to their task. Did a great job. I paid them the agreed amount and as a bonus I offered to treat them all to a meal out that same evening at a nice restaurant I knew.

Picked them up in the evening and my friend subtly diverted me to another restaurant she "preferred". On arrival found a table filled with about a dozen or so of her friends/family/God-knows-who.

Not being totally green or without experience as to Thai ways I asked before sitting down what's going on and who's expected to foot the bill here. As if I needed to ask. Yours truly of course.

After explaining that I was inviting the 3 of them as a thank you for a job well done I told them I'm not paying for the whole clan. After sitting down for a drink and a quick bite she asked me would I pay the bill this once. No way I said, thoroughly brassed off at the cheek of it all.

In the end I made my excuses and left early leaving 500 towards the bill. End of friendship. Phew!

To this day I never knew if I had been diverted to an ongoing family get-together or whether these extra guests had been invited after I made the offer.

I'm not cheap and would gladly have paid three times that amount for the 4 of us to have a nice meal but obviously like most people I don't like the feeling of people assuming I'm an ATM on legs.

[MaeJoMTB]

The other day, a samlor pulled up to a cart where I was buying fruit - an obviously poor lady in the back wanted cantaloupe for 20 baht but decided she could not afford it. I bought it for her. The samlor driver told me that if he ever sees me walking about town, he will take me wherever I want to go for free

Helping someone out in the street, and someone you don't know leeching a meal and booze off you are two entirely different things.

1 you offered

2 they took

[NoshowJones]

Whoever makes the invite pays

That's the way it should be, but I'm afraid not in Thailand.

[Inyourendo]

Ahhhhh farang you no unnerstan

[GOLDBUGGY]

Yes! I think this is normal and especially if it was you who suggested to eat there. I know I have invited family out for dinner a few times and never dreamed of asking anyone else to pay. The Thais I know generally eat at home.

[F4UCorsair]

yeah, I can't believe these cheap charlies. I have a couple of Thai friends and we have gone out 300 times in 14 yrs ..... they have never ever had to pay in 14 years ..... and I don't expect them to.

how much does a thai earn ? 300 / day

how much does a farang earn ? get real !!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE CHEAP CHARLIES !!!

3450 posts and trolling??

The give away is that you continue posting tje same garbage line because you're not getting bites

You really must be more careful.

so you obviously fit in the cheap charlie ranking ...

good luck to you .... hope u meet a nice thai girl to settle down with but i doubt it.

each to his own as they say !!

Your sense of logic equals your skill at trolling... zero on both.

Because I see you as a troll makes me a CC? Extraordinary connection......at best. Lunatic logic at (something approaching) worst.

If your 'friends' earn B300 a day, you're obviously mixing with the lower strata of Thai society and feel the need to big note in their presence. It works for them, and they've perfected the art of cadging a free night out (street food???) every couple of weeks. Your ego is satisfied by appearing the rich (stupid in their eyes) foreigner.

Everybody wins.

Incidentally, I'm not seeking a Thai girl/woman, nor ever will be. I've been through the Asian experience, and concluded it's not for me.

Edited January 10, 2016 by F4UCorsair

[Berkshire]

Cultural bs..most farangs associate with poorer Thais from issaan whose Dna profile is to automatically see the farang as a benefits system akin to the uk, free housing, free education for her kids and free meals..this is the reality...meet any middle class Thais ( a seemingly rare event for most) and they will pay if you were invited no big deal, or at a minimum share the bill...it's not Thai culture to be a vulture..

Agreed. I've been out plenty of times with Thai people who've refused my offer to pay and insisted on paying their share. I guess it depends on what kind of locals you hang out with.

Same here, Biker dude. The Thai folks that I hang with almost always insist on paying, even more than their fair share. It really comes down to the type of Thais the farang associates with.

[brewsterbudgen]

Cultural bs..most farangs associate with poorer Thais from issaan whose Dna profile is to automatically see the farang as a benefits system akin to the uk, free housing, free education for her kids and free meals..this is the reality...meet any middle class Thais ( a seemingly rare event for most) and they will pay if you were invited no big deal, or at a minimum share the bill...it's not Thai culture to be a vulture..

Agreed. I've been out plenty of times with Thai people who've refused my offer to pay and insisted on paying their share. I guess it depends on what kind of locals you hang out with.

Same here, Biker dude. The Thai folks that I hang with almost always insist on paying, even more than their fair share. It really comes down to the type of Thais the farang associates with.

Of course. It would be ridiculous to expect someone earning a low worker's wage to pay a huge bill.

[Inyourendo]

Love the people that inderectly hint they mix with the right crowd..

[roo860]

Love the people that inderectly hint they mix with the right crowd..

Perhaps that's just what they actually do.

[huawei]

Love the people that inderectly hint they mix with the right crowd..

It's not about the right crowd, it's limited exposure of most on here and then extrapolating that as a culture norm..

[Ghostnigel]

Depends who invited who.

If your "friend" invited them then yes, your paying, if they invited you, then naturally, they would pay.

It obviously did/does "bother you" or you wouldnt feel the need to ask on an internet forum, you would have just dismissed it.

Also: does she know she is "just a friend" ? it wouldnt seem that way inviting you to eat with/meet family.

This is where you get all sorts asking was he "really" her brother........

Charlie, you can see he is a newbie, and he was only asking what the etiquette is, simple. You should have a little more understanding, and just help him (like your first 2 sentences), no need to make him feel stupid.

[henry15]

Notthing to do with the fact that you are a foreigner. In LOS its culteral, that the most well off financially, pick up the tap, when you have a familydinner.

At the class-reunions of my wife its always the same person who always pay the bill, even all the ex clasmates are bussinesspeople or on managment level And this are class re-unions of 20 and more people. And this is already so for the last 30 years Sometimes he just pops inn to pay the bill.

[chicowoodduck]

Pretty much sums up my life in LOS....?

[NoshowJones]

When I first came to Thailand, I was with a girl and got introduced to her sister and seven year old daughter.

I asked them out for a meal for later on that day.

In the restaurant we were joined at the table by two girls, I would say around fourteen years old, I asked who they were, and was told

they were the girls sisters friends, like I said, the sisters daughter was only seven years old.

I just smiled and paid the bill, but always from then on, never invited anyone for a meal apart from an individual ladyfriend. This is not

being a Cheap Charlie, it is avoiding getting the piss taken.