Smiling isn't against the law

[johnhw]

Do you smile at every stranger in your own country.

Pretty much, yes.

I don't stop and say hello to them, or try to strike up a friendship, but if someone passes me in the street and our eyes happen to meet, I'll smile at them.

I walk through the middle of Chiang Mai every day. I pass dozens of Thais and dozens of foreign tourists.

I'm generally smiling when I walk, just 'cuz I tend to be pretty happy most of the time. And when my eyes meet with a Thai's, and my smile broadens into a silent 'hello! nice day!' I ALWAYS get a broad smile back. I don't find anything lurking behind those smiles, as I might from the tailor trying to sell a suit or the Indian who tells me that he knows what my dead mother wants me to understand. The usual smile is just two people being cordial. Nothing more. Polite smile to polite smile, acknowledging the existence of the other person as a valid human being. Actually, I pass the same vendors every day, and although they know that I'm not going to make a purchase, they are still polite, cordial, and smile.

Yet when you pass the typical foreigner, it's as if they think it's a crime to acknowledge anyone's presence. Of course, they usually behave that way inside restaurants and temples too. When walking along the moat, on the narrow strip along the north side, groups will rm a single file to pass, yet not one will meet your eyes or say 'good morning.' If you, on the other hand, say 'Good Morning' to them, it's as if they've been hit with a Tazer! They stiffen up their whole bodies, raise their eyes so they can be sure of not making eye contact, and hurry past.

While it's true that in some cultures, holding eye-to-eye contact... for too long... is a no-no, Thais don't get angry about a brief look and a smile. Neither do I. I think it's polite.

Gonna post until saw this. Practically word for word what I had in mind with only one addition....the #10 knockout with that entitled, bored, privileged, I-Deserve-More-Than-This look on her overdone face is a universal type...she exists everywhere these days and will rarely smile and ruin her make-up...unless you drive a new Mercedes.

Saaayyyy, could THAT be the reason some of the more knuckle-draggin' posters here are so negative about the thai smile???

[HerbalEd]

.......unfortunately........a smile........ is NOT a smile...is not a smile........

...you may be smiling for a particular reason.....to display pure, healthy happiness or emotion.....

..a smile can be much more connived and sinister......

...back in Canada we had an Asian student in our Telecom program....she never had to do anything...just smile.....

...when I confronted her about it, she replied, 'Back in our country we are taught how to deal with westerners...simply smile and you will get whatever you want'

...there you have it....

...as for macho or male on male situations....a smile can be deadly...given or taken....

So you base your whole judgment of why "Asians" smile upon this one girls say-so???

BTW, for centuries women world-wide have learned the benefits derived from smiling at a man. And even though I know that, it still often works on me. ;-)

Edited January 21, 2016 by HerbalEd

[billd766]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

Really? Not sure where you live but out in the countryside, I find coaxing a smile out of Thais is easy.

I agree with that 100%.

Me too.

[mad mary]

Smiling is a waste of energy.

So are troll posts.

Stop it then.

[johnhw]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

Really? Not sure where you live but out in the countryside, I find coaxing a smile out of Thais is easy.

I agree with that 100%.

Me too.

You sure you haven't run into an isolated enclave of Thais raised in North America and deported here, arminbkk?

[TEFLKrabi]

One time I was walking down the street in Krabi; I was smiling at something that had occurred a few minutes ago when I heard one of the restaurant hustlers say in Thai, "What the hell are you smiling at?"

So apparently you're right, some Thais don't like it when people are just smiling to themselves.

Possibly because a lot of local Krabi folk really don't like Farang people, despite their livelihood relying on them!

[joshstiles]

good luck smoking that crap....

of course I am smiling......

[Tchooptip]

Do you smile at every stranger in your own country.

Pretty much, yes.

I don't stop and say hello to them, or try to strike up a friendship, but if someone passes me in the street and our eyes happen to meet, I'll smile at them.

I walk through the middle of Chiang Mai every day. I pass dozens of Thais and dozens of foreign tourists.

I'm generally smiling when I walk, just 'cuz I tend to be pretty happy most of the time. And when my eyes meet with a Thai's, and my smile broadens into a silent 'hello! nice day!' I ALWAYS get a broad smile back. I don't find anything lurking behind those smiles, as I might from the tailor trying to sell a suit or the Indian who tells me that he knows what my dead mother wants me to understand. The usual smile is just two people being cordial. Nothing more. Polite smile to polite smile, acknowledging the existence of the other person as a valid human being. Actually, I pass the same vendors every day, and although they know that I'm not going to make a purchase, they are still polite, cordial, and smile.

Yet when you pass the typical foreigner, it's as if they think it's a crime to acknowledge anyone's presence. Of course, they usually behave that way inside restaurants and temples too. When walking along the moat, on the narrow strip along the north side, groups will form a single file to pass, yet not one will meet your eyes or say 'good morning.' If you, on the other hand, say 'Good Morning' to them, it's as if they've been hit with a Tazer! They stiffen up their whole bodies, raise their eyes so they can be sure of not making eye contact, and hurry past.

While it's true that in some cultures, holding eye-to-eye contact... for too long... is a no-no, Thais don't get angry about a brief look and a smile. Neither do I. I think it's polite.

No comment

[riceyummm]

The physical act of smiling improves mood.

http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/is-it-true-smiling-improves-your-mood.html

http://www.fastcompany.com/3041438/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/how-smiling-changes-your-brain

http://www.nytimes.com/1989/07/18/science/a-feel-good-theory-a-smile-affects-mood.html?pagewanted=all

[Happy Grumpy]

Smiling isn't against the law

It isn't yet.

[swissie]

This post shows a fundamental ignorance of Thai culture. Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less

Quote from above: Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less

Amen !

Hate to rain on someones parade, but taking into account above statement, all the 79 posts (so far), have become "unnecessary comments".

By accepting "Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less" is an excellent starting point for Farangs, intending to navigate through the Thailandese-Jungle.

By mentioning "Jungle", I am not referring to the Jungle where Elephants roam. it's the other "Jungle".

Cheers.

[SoiBiker]

Or as anyone who isn't from another planet or on the autistic spectrum would phrase it - smiles help us all get along. Which was kind of the point of this thread.

[Cpkt8]

[emoji5]️

[Dancealot]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

Really? Not sure where you live but out in the countryside, I find coaxing a smile out of Thais is easy.

I agree with that 100%.

Me too.

+1 for smiling, it's so easy and good for your health

[edit] I dont expect a smile back but when I do it's nice. When I don't get one back I feel sad for that person.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Dancealot

[norfolkandchance]

I just smile

[csabo]

When I ride my bike around town I get hello calls and waves from lots of Thais who know me and lots of returned smiles from Thais who never met me. It is a rare event I go out and don't see someone I know who greets me warmly and more importantly, genuinely. It's not a perfect country and they are not perfect people but they are intergalactically more friendly than the people in my home town or the entire lot of bastards I used to work with.

[Happy Grumpy]

See my sig.

[SoiBiker]

Most people don't have to force a smile.

[Happy Grumpy]

Thankfully.

Be glad that you weren't born a Thai in Thailand.

[HerbalEd]

This post shows a fundamental ignorance of Thai culture. Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less

Quote from above: Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less

Amen !

Hate to rain on someones parade, but taking into account above statement, all the 79 posts (so far), have become "unnecessary comments".

By accepting "Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less" is an excellent starting point for Farangs, intending to navigate through the Thailandese-Jungle.

By mentioning "Jungle", I am not referring to the Jungle where Elephants roam. it's the other "Jungle".

Cheers.

You start with "amen" and end with "cheers"???

[cyberfarang]

I'm not here to integrate into Thai culture. I hope that's OK with y'all.

Now I'm scared that if I smile too much, I'll wake up in the morning and find I've turned into a Thai.

With some of the Farlangs I`ve seen settling over here, I sometimes wish I could wake up one morning and metamorphotised into a Thai.

[cyberfarang]

I'm not here to integrate into Thai culture. I hope that's OK with y'all.

You don`t want to acknowledge other Farlangs and you don`t want to integrate into Thai culture. You sound like an oddball.

[DrTuner]

I'm not here to integrate into Thai culture. I hope that's OK with y'all.

You don`t want to acknowledge other Farlangs and you don`t want to integrate into Thai culture. You sound like an oddball.

One of the best qualities of Thais is they let you mind your own business and don't try to instantly bond just because you happen to be of same species. That's something the farangs would do well to cherrypick from the culture.

I too have zero interest in mingling with westeners IRL and am not interested in integrating to a culture of kowtowing. I've got my own homebrewn culture going on.

[Gecko123]

This post shows a fundamental ignorance of Thai culture. Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less

Quote from above: Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less

Amen !

Hate to rain on someones parade, but taking into account above statement, all the 79 posts (so far), have become "unnecessary comments".

By accepting "Thais smile as a way of avoiding inter-personal conflict - no more, no less" is an excellent starting point for Farangs, intending to navigate through the Thailandese-Jungle.

By mentioning "Jungle", I am not referring to the Jungle where Elephants roam. it's the other "Jungle".

Cheers.

So, according to the two of you, Thais never smile to show pleasure, sociability, happiness, enjoyment, amusement, or to greet or express interest in one another?

[cyberfarang]

I'm not here to integrate into Thai culture. I hope that's OK with y'all.

You don`t want to acknowledge other Farlangs and you don`t want to integrate into Thai culture. You sound like an oddball.

One of the best qualities of Thais is they let you mind your own business and don't try to instantly bond just because you happen to be of same species. That's something the farangs would do well to cherrypick from the culture.

I too have zero interest in mingling with westeners IRL and am not interested in integrating to a culture of kowtowing. I've got my own homebrewn culture going on.

As I said, oddballs.

[mgjackson69]

Watched a pair of ladies practically shove their yard-long Look-At-Me-I'm-With-Nat.Geo Nikon lens up the nose of an elderly lady sitting on the pavement selling veggies at the Chiang Rai street market. She smiled at them, and they returned her smile stone-faced, like she had two heads, then glanced at each other and laughed.

A pair of ladies I think not !. I see far too many tourists acting that way and worse. I was asked by friends in the states why I don't post more pictures of things and people in my neighborhood. I explained that you don't nose around and take pictures of your neighbors...I am not a tourist...it takes a good 3 to 6 months to get your neighbors to become accustomed to you in their space, you don't go screwing it up by acting like a ninny fresh off the Lonely Planet bookshelf.

Indeed...the whole "photos or it didn't happen" mindset is nonsense.

I would rather experience what is going on than have my eye to a camera or phone cam.

Photography is one of my hobbies...but I do not feel the need to record everything.

I get the impression that I'm being misread. I couldn't care if folks record...on Facebook or on film...their daily trips to the toilet.

What I consider disgusting ignorance is A)Shoving a lens up somebody's nose, and B)then refusing to smile, even as a thanks for the intrusion.

...I spend winters here only...so perhaps unfair to comment, but I find the behaviour of many of my fellow farangs (particularly in groups)embarrassing.

Your point is taken...shoving a camera in someone's face as you described is rude, as is the subsequent behavior you observed from those two women.

I used the opening you provided to rant a bit.

[tonray]

As they say different strokes for different folks. Some people come to Thailand not only to escape their own culture but to hide from everything, and that is Ok too.

One thing I appreciate about Thailand as compared to other countries (I have lived and worked in Malaysia and spent some months in Vietnam) is that Thai vendors don't bum rush you. Yes you get the greeting that is shouted out to every passerby but in other countries they literally follow you down the street and physically grab you and try to drag you into their stall. So that standoffish Thai nature has its advantages sometimes.

[2fishin2]

[emoji3][emoji38]

[michaelgoulden]

I am promoting a wrinkle cream ,for those who like to smile all the time.

"Smile without looking old"

works out 5 Baht per smile.