You Know you are in Thailand when........

[NoshowJones]

At restaurant/cafe. When your food comes out in staggered intervals and the first person served has eaten their meal before the last person get theirs.

While I take your point when applied to a Western restaurant or when ordering western food, I don't concur when it comes to Thai food. Thai dishes are (in the most part) not single dishes to be consumed by one person.

The dishes are meant to be shared - so having the various dishes arrive at intervals is entirely appropriate.

Sure, it's a pain when one wants a single western dish and the others order Thai.

I ordered French fries and chicken, the French fries came first, the chicken 35 mins later, and the waiter was still hovering around expecting a tip. He never got one.

Edited January 30, 2016 by possum1931

[Gsxrnz]

....when you can buy everything you could ever need from the comfort of your bar stool from a passing vendor.

Donuts

Kebabs

Fried Chicken

Noodles etc etc ad nauseam

Belts

Bras

T-Shirts

Viagra

Torches

Lasers

Speakers

Cane Furniture

Mattresses

Towels

Bedding

Statues

Watches

Ear rings

Knickers

Socks

Shoes

Sunglasses

_{Blow Jobs}

Tazers

Jeans

Sausage Rolls & Pies

Porchettas

Crossbows

Calculators

Bucket & Spade Set

Newspapers

Ice Cream

Massages

Manicure Sets

I'm bored now. Feel free to add to the list

I never sit on a barstool, but I get the drift. Ice cream and bread together.

OK, for the non drinkers, let's assume it's a beach deck chair and not a bar stool.

[overherebc]

When some 75 year old farang posts a question on TV asking random strangers if it's true his 20 year old girl friend really loves him because he's a "sexy man."

When some 75 year old farang suspects his 20 year old girl friend is exploiting him and fails to see that he might be accused of the same thing.

When some farang thinks everything in his passport is a visa.

When many foreigners feel Thailand is making too big a deal over their multi-year overstay and that the police should spend more of their time arresting Thais for blocking the pavement/sidewalk while texting.

When farang feel a convenience store is scamming them because they rounded up their Internet provider's invoice to the nearest 25 satang.

When a farang announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of English employed by Immigrations officers.

When a farang English teacher announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of pay he's receiving.

Or,

How many bath do I need too pay for my working visa and permit ?

[NoshowJones]

....when you can buy everything you could ever need from the comfort of your bar stool from a passing vendor.

Donuts

Kebabs

Fried Chicken

Noodles etc etc ad nauseam

Belts

Bras

T-Shirts

Viagra

Torches

Lasers

Speakers

Cane Furniture

Mattresses

Towels

Bedding

Statues

Watches

Ear rings

Knickers

Socks

Shoes

Sunglasses

_{Blow Jobs}

Tazers

Jeans

Sausage Rolls & Pies

Porchettas

Crossbows

Calculators

Bucket & Spade Set

Newspapers

Ice Cream

Massages

Manicure Sets

I'm bored now. Feel free to add to the list

I never sit on a barstool, but I get the drift. Ice cream and bread together.

OK, for the non drinkers, let's assume it's a beach deck chair and not a bar stool.

I never sit on a deck chair either, the only place I sit is maybe in a restaurant, never been bothered with sellers there, but I do believe that goes on.

[Ghostnigel]

You know you are in Thailand when....you are first in the line at a red light, then before it turns green, there are 50 motorcys in front of you, all checking their phones.

You know you are in Thailand when...you fill up your car, and they are 20 baht short on rounding up to the nearest 1,000 baht, but don't give any change, but if they go 25 satang over, they want that 25 satang like its a hundred baht. Bless them.

Or, you are driving the right way down the road, and Somchai coming the wrong way, flashes his lights for YOU to get out his way.

Or, you are in Home Pro, and there are more staff than customers.

[Ghostnigel]

When some 75 year old farang posts a question on TV asking random strangers if it's true his 20 year old girl friend really loves him because he's a "sexy man."

When some 75 year old farang suspects his 20 year old girl friend is exploiting him and fails to see that he might be accused of the same thing.

When some farang thinks everything in his passport is a visa.

When many foreigners feel Thailand is making too big a deal over their multi-year overstay and that the police should spend more of their time arresting Thais for blocking the pavement/sidewalk while texting.

When farang feel a convenience store is scamming them because they rounded up their Internet provider's invoice to the nearest 25 satang.

When a farang announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of English employed by Immigrations officers.

When a farang English teacher announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of pay he's receiving.

You're in Thailand when, people spell border as boarder, and advice as advise....and you have the urge to correct it....sorry mate, gotta be done, lol

Um.....you missed the satire

But to be fair, maybe he should have used (sic) instead of quotes.

I stand corrected.....re-read it, i can see what it means now.

Its actually quite funny now.

[Gsxrnz]

You know you're in Thailand when.....you've got a 15 yard birdie putt and your girl caddie says "you get birdie, I go with you. You miss birdie, you go with me".

[luk AJ]

You know you are in Thailand when the people smile.

[Ghostnigel]

You know you're in Thailand when.....you've got a 15 yard birdie putt and your girl caddie says "you get birdie, I go with you. You miss birdie, you go with me".

I played Amata Spring last wednesday, i had a tap in birdie, caddie said "you get birdie, you give me money"

I said, "you putt it, and I will pay you", it was like 14 inches, and she missed it...lol

[Ombra]

When you do something stupid, unkind, or rude, and you discover how quickly Thai people forgive and forget.

[KMartinHandyman]

When some 75 year old farang posts a question on TV asking random strangers if it's true his 20 year old girl friend really loves him because he's a "sexy man."

When some 75 year old farang suspects his 20 year old girl friend is exploiting him and fails to see that he might be accused of the same thing.

When some farang thinks everything in his passport is a visa.

When many foreigners feel Thailand is making too big a deal over their multi-year overstay and that the police should spend more of their time arresting Thais for blocking the pavement/sidewalk while texting.

When farang feel a convenience store is scamming them because they rounded up their Internet provider's invoice to the nearest 25 satang.

When a farang announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of English employed by Immigrations officers.

When a farang English teacher announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of pay he's receiving.

You're in Thailand when, people spell border as boarder, and advice as advise....and you have the urge to correct it....sorry mate, gotta be done, lol

Wow whew really amazing

Nothing "gits" by some people

[KMartinHandyman]

You're in BKK when in one 12 hour day you've traveled by

motorbike taxi

Car taxi

Tuk Tuk taxi

Sky train

Bts underground train

And private car

Skipping the city bus and songthaew

[BaldPlumber]

Teenagers think it's cool to swap their headlights & tail lights so it looks like they're going in the opposite direction after dark, maybe to confuse ghosts chasing them, lunetics....

What?

[gamini]

when you suddenly notice how ugly most of the "farangs are compared to other countries" then it dawns on you that they are here because no girl in their own country would give them a second look.

[Bredbury Blue]

At restaurant/cafe. When your food comes out in staggered intervals and the first person served has eaten their meal before the last person get theirs.

While I take your point when applied to a Western restaurant or when ordering western food, I don't concur when it comes to Thai food. Thai dishes are (in the most part) not single dishes to be consumed by one person.

The dishes are meant to be shared - so having the various dishes arrive at intervals is entirely appropriate.

Sure, it's a pain when one wants a single western dish and the others order Thai.

...when you order thai food, and the rice comes last.

[Shiver]

The yes/no thing drives me crazy as I have to constantly invent ways to check if the information got in there correctly (like a CRC redundancy check for computer techies amongst us) or if the receiver went into sleep mode while I was still in mid sentence (tip: just insert "som tam" every couple of words to keep the connection active). Do we go left or right here?, Yess, is that left then? Noo, is it right? Up to you. This is not from an idiot partner either - my GF is actually a pretty street smart girl, but our languages don't interface how I would have preferred. I'm pretty sure I'm boring her to tears every time I open my mouth, but binary is an idea I might introduce to her after a decade or two more familiarisation. I can imagine when they get together they all gossip and say something like "don't do anything that makes the farang talk, just close the deal and be done with it, I promise you, otherwise they'll drive you crazy"...meanwhile on the other side of the fence... Maybe that's why she leaps on me to give me a hug so much - to make sure I don't talk or think [too mutt].

To answer your question about suggestions, I think most of them would sound like I'm Thai bashing which I don't want to do, so I'll mention just a couple of the more innocent practices:

1. like when you're full and 30 mins after finishing your meal they ask "are you hungry yet?"

2. They put some piece of fruit to your mouth and you back off to see what it is because you've become long sighted over the years, and say you don't really like this particular one and prefer xyz, but for the next 365 days you have ground hog day.

3. The myopic behaviour in the street or on the road, even with the soi animals that look really shocked when you're within 1 metre of them. Back home your dog knows the sound of your vehicle approaching from 1 mile away. Here they only notice when you stand on their paw or beep your horn to stop from riding/driving over them, and they lazily get up and stroll to the side of the road. Why thanks buddy for tolerating my efforts to help you stay alive another day...

[ChrisKC]

When a lie is discovered there is no loss of face.

When you realise that flashing car lights mean "get out of my way, I am not stopping"

When the only reason there is a Thai word for "plan" is so that they know what other people do!

When women strangers will smile at you and it isn't a "come on"

When there is a Military In Power, Martial Law is in force and life goes on as normal.

It isn't family or love or religion that drives Thais on - it's money!

[UPDEHSOI]

When you order steak/ chips, you finish the steak then the chips arrive (yes did happen to me once )

When you ask for something in a shop and you get !! no hab!! as the answer. Even though you can see what you want in front of you.

So you walk around the counter to his side, remove the can of glue that's sitting on the shelf...directly behind his head, and say...tao arai kop?

[UPDEHSOI]

....when you can buy everything you could ever need from the comfort of your bar stool from a passing vendor.

Donuts

Kebabs

Fried Chicken

Noodles etc etc ad nauseam

Belts

Bras

T-Shirts

Viagra

Torches

Lasers

Speakers

Cane Furniture

Mattresses

Towels

Bedding

Statues

Watches

Ear rings

Knickers

Socks

Shoes

Sunglasses

_{Blow Jobs}

Tazers

Jeans

Sausage Rolls & Pies

Porchettas

Crossbows

Calculators

Bucket & Spade Set

Newspapers

Ice Cream

Massages

Manicure Sets

I'm bored now. Feel free to add to the list

The lady...boy...ladyboy.. sitting on the stool next to you. Okay, so you can't buy her, him, it ( umm,maybe you could ) but you could rent said person for awhile.

[UPDEHSOI]

When some 75 year old farang posts a question on TV asking random strangers if it's true his 20 year old girl friend really loves him because he's a "sexy man."

When some 75 year old farang suspects his 20 year old girl friend is exploiting him and fails to see that he might be accused of the same thing.

When some farang thinks everything in his passport is a visa.

When many foreigners feel Thailand is making too big a deal over their multi-year overstay and that the police should spend more of their time arresting Thais for blocking the pavement/sidewalk while texting.

When farang feel a convenience store is scamming them because they rounded up their Internet provider's invoice to the nearest 25 satang.

When a farang announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of English employed by Immigrations officers.

When a farang English teacher announces he was doing a "boarder" run and asks for "advise" while simultaneously complaining about the poor level of pay he's receiving.

You're in Thailand when, people spell border as boarder, and advice as advise....and you have the urge to correct it....sorry mate, gotta be done, lol

I think Suradit69 already indicated this with his quotation ( '' ) marks

[bazza40]

The roosters start crowing at 1 am.

Explosions are not ISIS paying a visit, but to frighten the ghosts away.

Dogs won't move off the road because they were there first.

You won't get to your intended destination unless you have asked for directions at least three times.

[fekman]

When I find myself repeating a Noun two times in the course of a conversation....like...Taxi Taxi....Same Same...etc.,

Why did you capitalize "Noun" in the middle of a sentence? The word 'same' is not a noun. You must be an English teacher in Thailand.

[fekman]

When I find myself repeating a Noun two times in the course of a conversation....like...Taxi Taxi....Same Same...etc.,

same is used as an adjective or pronoun. sorry to be a pedant but if we don't know our basic english grammar how can we hope to help the thais?

You have no right to comment on grammar. Read your post.

[razer]

When you're walking down the sidewalk and the guy on the motorbike behind you is getting angry for not moving out of his way.

[ChrisKC]

When returning from shopping, to their motorcy, Thais ask themselves: Now where can I put this crash helmet?

Pavements are for Thais to extend their trading areas.

Thais "prune" with a machete

Edited January 30, 2016 by ChrisKC

[uptoyoumyfriend]

when you have toilet paper in every room of your house except the bathroom.

[UPDEHSOI]

You know you are in Thailand when the people smile.

Agree with you...100%

[ChrisKC]

You know you are in Thailand when the people smile.

Agree with you...100%

There is no such thing as the Thai smile from Thai drivers or a jealous girlfriend

[UPDEHSOI]

You know you're in Thailand when.....you've got a 15 yard birdie putt and your girl caddie says "you get birdie, I go with you. You miss birdie, you go with me".

I played Amata Spring last wednesday, i had a tap in birdie, caddie said "you get birdie, you give me money"

I said, "you putt it, and I will pay you", it was like 14 inches, and she missed it...lol

You missed your chance there buddy. You could have said, "YOU putt, you make the putt I pay you. You miss the putt, YOU...but then again maybe you nice man. Just wanna play gop.

[soc]

The yes/no thing drives me crazy as I have to constantly invent ways to check if the information got in there correctly (like a CRC redundancy check for computer techies amongst us) or if the receiver went into sleep mode while I was still in mid sentence (tip: just insert "som tam" every couple of words to keep the connection active). Do we go left or right here?, Yess, is that left then? Noo, is it right? Up to you. This is not from an idiot partner either - my GF is actually a pretty street smart girl, but our languages don't interface how I would have preferred. I'm pretty sure I'm boring her to tears every time I open my mouth, but binary is an idea I might introduce to her after a decade or two more familiarisation. I can imagine when they get together they all gossip and say something like "don't do anything that makes the farang talk, just close the deal and be done with it, I promise you, otherwise they'll drive you crazy"...meanwhile on the other side of the fence... Maybe that's why she leaps on me to give me a hug so much - to make sure I don't talk or think [too mutt].

To answer your question about suggestions, I think most of them would sound like I'm Thai bashing which I don't want to do, so I'll mention just a couple of the more innocent practices:

1. like when you're full and 30 mins after finishing your meal they ask "are you hungry yet?"

2. They put some piece of fruit to your mouth and you back off to see what it is because you've become long sighted over the years, and say you don't really like this particular one and prefer xyz, but for the next 365 days you have ground hog day.

3. The myopic behaviour in the street or on the road, even with the soi animals that look really shocked when you're within 1 metre of them. Back home your dog knows the sound of your vehicle approaching from 1 mile away. Here they only notice when you stand on their paw or beep your horn to stop from riding/driving over them, and they lazily get up and stroll to the side of the road. Why thanks buddy for tolerating my efforts to help you stay alive another day...

My Filipina ex-wife giving directions, me driving in heavy traffic.

Her "turn"

Me "which way?"

Her "turn"

Me "left or right?"

Her, pointing right,"turn left".

Me, driving on as still not sure & some maniac hooting his horn behind me.

Her "why you not turn?"

Thinks, l must love her not to get cross.