Farang men who have a problem with farang women in Thailand.

[SoiBiker]

I'm surprised the OP has time for excursions to provincial eateries,as he never seems to be far away from a computer where he can bore us with his oddball observations, and score points off other posters remarks. Someone who change's his avatar on a regular basis has an identity problem, plus the neurotic need for attention with his thousands of posts.

Smartphones, John. It's 2016. Who uses a computer to post online any more?

[giddyup]

I'm surprised the OP has time for excursions to provincial eateries,as he never seems to be far away from a computer where he can bore us with his oddball observations, and score points off other posters remarks. Someone who change's his avatar on a regular basis has an identity problem, plus the neurotic need for attention with his thousands of posts.

Smartphones, John. It's 2016. Who uses a computer to post online any more?

I do.

[cyberfarang]

Which city ?

Does it matter? I'd prefer not to make this about pointing the blame at one particular expat community.

A lot of Farlang women have scon for older Farlang men that have younger Thai women partners. Maybe your wife was giving them a disapproving eye or a contemptuous look that made the men feel uncomfortable, which is likely what happened.

[SoiBiker]

Which city ?

Does it matter? I'd prefer not to make this about pointing the blame at one particular expat community.

A lot of Farlang women have scon for older Farlang men that have younger Thai women partners. Maybe your wife was giving them a disapproving eye or a contemptuous look that made the men feel uncomfortable, which is likely what happened.

Nope.

[sead]

Did she smirk at them, or gave them the eye because of their young wifes. Did someone overheard a comment about them. Thats usually the reaction of a farang woman when she sees a old guy with young ladies.

And Cyberfarang beat me with the same comment. So i guess its what happened .)

Edited February 10, 2016 by sead

[ggt]

That is an easy question to answer...she reminded them of their farang ex-wives...none of the memories were good...

Next time just ignore them...they are harmless and shameless...

[bazza40]

There's a difference between glaring and staring. The stares could have been for any reason, e.g. your fly was undone, she was wearing curlers etc.

Personally, I tend to ignore Western women because I have lost interest in them.

[SoiBiker]

This thread has certainly made it clear that some expat men feel an antipathy towards expat women - which would explain the reaction we received.

[strapper1]

In your mind or your Wife's Mind ???? stigma creating further stigma ?

Sometimes eyes wonder, we all look around at others etc...

Could it be that the Older Western chappy's with their younger Thai Ladies felt they were being judged by your Western Wife ?

I find it difficult to comprehend anyone felling uncomfortable with anyone else, whoever they are, unless they are outwardly being inappropriate, behaving poorly etc..

I think many farang men percieve, farang women to be opposed to the old man young girl relationship. Have you ever seen a older farang lady with a younger Thai man ? I haven't !

[RolandRat]

Maybe she felt uncomfortable as she was the "thorn" in the bed of roses.

Maybe, they all thought she was a Russian prostitute

Maybe, actually nothing happened, it was all perceived in your own mind by your own warped view of others.

Maybe, you secretly wish you had a younger cute wife and have now started to make comparisons.

The possibilities and permutations are endless really, whose to say.

But one fact remains, you should NEVER judge a book by its cover, or assume things about people.

As I said before, it not what you loook at, its what you choose to see, and therein lies the real issue, what you or your wife "chose" to derive from that situation. Real or imagined ? whose to say.

Edited February 10, 2016 by RolandRat

[giddyup]

In your mind or your Wife's Mind ???? stigma creating further stigma ?

Sometimes eyes wonder, we all look around at others etc...

Could it be that the Older Western chappy's with their younger Thai Ladies felt they were being judged by your Western Wife ?

I find it difficult to comprehend anyone felling uncomfortable with anyone else, whoever they are, unless they are outwardly being inappropriate, behaving poorly etc..

I think many farang men percieve, farang women to be opposed to the old man young girl relationship. Have you ever seen a older farang lady with a younger Thai man ? I haven't !

No, but I've seen plenty in Bali. Try Ghana in Africa, hundreds of lonely divorcees and widows go there for a 2 week fling with a new black boyfriend. Not the only place where that happens either. So sex with someone much younger isn't restricted to men.

[stephenterry]

Once you've had black you never go back, but in my case I'll settle for brown, but definitely not white.

[stephenterry]

Yeah I look at farang couples. Who'd want a fat ugly woman with short hair and attitude, when there's dozens of available sexy women here. No offence to anyone, it's my opinion.

[Jools]

I have no problem with farang women in Thailand as long as they don't confront me as several have done over the past 18 years. I had one Brit leave her table and walk all the way across a bar and sneer at me, exclaiming: "Guess you think you're a real BIG GUY, eh?" I was buying a drink for a bargirl at the time. I ignored her hostility and asked her if she would like a drink as well. She turned and angrily walked back to her table. Her male companions looked mortified (as they should have been). Another time, I was with a young lady of about 27 ( I was in my mid-fifties at the time), we were minding our own business inside a shopping mall and one American lady with husband in tow, yells out "look at THAT!!! That's DISGUSTING, she's young enough to be his DAUGHTER". Actually, she was closer to being young enough to be my GRANDdaughter, but point taken. The most tolerant farang lady I've encountered, was a lesbian, who was in the company of a bar girl. She totally seemed to "get it".

[NoshowJones]

Why didnt you say something to the nasty men ?I mean it is not like you are shy at giving your opinion on here!

I do not think it is fair to compare a guy sitting with his wife on a night out to posting on Thaivisa, posting on Thaivisa is all about opinions, agreeing and disagreeing, sitting on

a night out with his wife is entirely different, maybe SB is too much of a gentleman to start saying things to the nasty men.

[geisha]

Soibiker, I think it was mainly because you were the odd ball out. Nothing mean, but like " look at them, they are different ".

[reallybigken]

They maybe pre-judging you and you wife. We all pre-judge people and situations. Both in positive and negative ways. We pre-judge a priest to be trustworthy person and a person in prison to be not so trustworthy. Just look at the news and you can see how wrong bother those judgements are. There are many more judgments which are not so simple but just as unfounded.. race, religion, orientation, politics, and more.

They may have been judging you, they may have misinterpreted something you did, or the way you looked at them, but you can change all that with just a couple of words. Ask one of them about the area, the weather .... the time. Be the one to break the ice. If it doesn't work out you can always leave. We can all break down these barriers in a positive way.

I am overweight ... OK I'm fat. Thai's actually find it repulsive and funny at the same time. I get stared at a lot, especially when I'm eating in Thailand. I can't tell you how many times I'm the brunt of a Thai joke when I pass by. I learned what the Thai word is for fat, not that I really wanted to, but when you her it all the time you can figure it out on your own. Real I don't care ... that is who I am, live with it. But almost every time I hear it I say something to the person or persons that said it, Something funny or just start a conversation in a positive way. All of a sudden there judgement changes. Mostly good. I can't even tell you how many place I go in now and people remember me, in a positive way. They may still pre-judge me but now it is in a positive light, and they may give the next guy a better greeting.

It not always them .... its not always us ... we can make an effort to change it.

OK I'm off my "soap box" now. Just had to put in my two cents worth......

[Mot Dang]

This thread has certainly made it clear that some expat men feel an antipathy towards expat women - which would explain the reaction we received.

Strewth, finally the penny drops.

[thaiduncankk]

Maybe the heading should have read:

Why do farang women, eating out with their partner, seem to have a complex ?'

[Mot Dang]

I would just like to point out that 30 years ago bar management in Pat Pong and Soi Cowboy (Pattaya was still mainly coconut plantations), actively discouraged falang women who came into bars, to stay. Not only did the patrons not like it, but also the girls.

I think falang women are probably getting a better deal these days.

[soc]

This sounds so odd that I doubt that it actually happened.

Why would it?

Speaking as a farang woman --- it is not odd at all. Happens a lot here and not limited to any particular location.

Thanks for sharing that - apparently many would like to think I'm making the whole thing up, so it's nice to have confirmation that it happens.

lt could be that the men had been rejected in the past by white women.

Maybe they preferred white women but felt that they could never have a relationship with them & so took up with Asian women then resented you because you was with a white Lady.

l was married to a Filipina & we seemed to mix with other like couples & l have seen what you describe among the husbands when a white couple joined our group.

So yes, SoiBiker, l believe you.

[Thaidream]

As someone who has been here for eons- I remember when any Farang in even Bangkok received the same reaction. It used to be so bad that people actually stopped in their tracks and stared and pointed at you. The OP was in a rural area not visited by many tourists. His wife probably seemed an oddity to the other foreigners who hardly see anyone other than their group. However, staring at people for a long time is considered impolite. Thai's themselves do it and other Thais will respond- ' Mong Arai'- meaning What are you looking at!. Sometimes, when a Farang man is with his Thai wife/girlfriend/friend and goes into a Thai restaurant- comments are made in Thai by groups of Thai men and they are anything but nice. Don't feel uncomfortable- have a good laugh and enjoy the food. It will happen again and again. You just ignore it.

[eldragon]

Interesting that some assume my wife must be the one at fault somehow. She's neither judgemental or interested in the attention of men old enough to be her father. But these comments do give an insight into the kind of assumptions these guys might have been making about her.

As for why didn't we talk to them - why should we? We were just trying to eat our dinner and have a quiet drink.

Or it gives insight into the kind of assumptions TVF members make about people they dont know.

[fekman]

Perhaps she's a stunner.

[1BADDAT]

I have no problem with farang women in Thailand as long as they don't confront me as several have done over the past 18 years. I had one Brit leave her table and walk all the way across a bar and sneer at me, exclaiming: "Guess you think you're a real BIG GUY, eh?" I was buying a drink for a bargirl at the time. I ignored her hostility and asked her if she would like a drink as well. She turned and angrily walked back to her table. Her male companions looked mortified (as they should have been). Another time, I was with a young lady of about 27 ( I was in my mid-fifties at the time), we were minding our own business inside a shopping mall and one American lady with husband in tow, yells out "look at THAT!!! That's DISGUSTING, she's young enough to be his DAUGHTER". Actually, she was closer to being young enough to be my GRANDdaughter, but point taken. The most tolerant farang lady I've encountered, was a lesbian, who was in the company of a bar girl. She totally seemed to "get it".

So how did you know they were British and American? Did you have a conversation with them to figure that part out?

[Thaidream]

One last comment on this- I have had many more confrontations or potential confrontations with Farangs of all nationalities than I have ever had with a Thai person. Some Faranges who come to Thailand seem to believe that they can say or do anything they want . My reaction- walk away with a smile.or if it involves something potentially serious- the Thais will straighten it out.

[Suradit69]

Why would farang expat men be so upset by the presence of a farang woman?

It reminds them of why they had to come to Thailand ... rejection by farang women back in Farangland.

Edited February 10, 2016 by Suradit69

[fekman]

This sounds so odd that I doubt that it actually happened.

Why would it?

Speaking as a farang woman --- it is not odd at all. Happens a lot here and not limited to any particular location.

Thanks for sharing that - apparently many would like to think I'm making the whole thing up, so it's nice to have confirmation that it happens.

lt could be that the men had been rejected in the past by white women.

Maybe they preferred white women but felt that they could never have a relationship with them & so took up with Asian women then resented you because you was with a white Lady.

l was married to a Filipina & we seemed to mix with other like couples & l have seen what you describe among the husbands when a white couple joined our group.

So yes, SoiBiker, l believe you.

I've seen it also. I think you're right. These dudes were rejected by white women all their lives, and this is the their chance to 'get even'. "Look at me. I don't need you. I have a young girl here. You're on my turf now. I'm going to treat you poorly because here, I have the power."

It's strange to see an attractive, young Western girl with near-zero personal power walking the streets of BKK. Shes like a fish out of water. She has no interest in Thai guys, and the Western guys shun her. She gets no sympathy.

[giddyup]

I've seen it also. I think you're right. These dudes were rejected by white women all their lives, and this is the their chance to 'get even'. "Look at me. I don't need you. I have a young girl here. You're on my turf now. I'm going to treat you poorly because here, I have the power."

It's strange to see an attractive, young Western girl with near-zero personal power walking the streets of BKK. Shes like a fish out of water. She has no interest in Thai guys, and the Western guys shun her. She gets no sympathy.

If she's attractive she'll get plenty of attention, here or anywhere else.

Edited February 10, 2016 by giddyup

[elgordo38]

This sounds so odd that I doubt that it actually happened.

Why would it?

That's very much the question I'm asking. Why would it happen?

Did they have that "Bringing coals to Newcastle" look in their eye. When I see a farang couple especially a young one this thought always crosses my mind. Sometimes it also jars my mind into thinking back about my 3 ex-wives abroad and I shudder. Just tell them "Take a picture it lasts longer" I am glad you and your wife are still together. That speaks for itself. The other day I was sitting on a bench at KSK and a young lady came along and sat down beside me she was about 40 years younger than me. She then proceeded to ask me if I had a lady and I said yes. She immediately got up and moved on to greener pastures. When your out and about here with the wife that is a safety valve. If your out by yourself you could suffer from neck complications avoid the Sirens song. Temptation sadly is part of the male genetic makeup.