British tourist reports sexual assault against Thai man he met online

[charmonman]

I guess it's sort of all believable but the extreme part is running out and calling the police. I reckon the Thai guy felt there was good enough consent and if not the worse thing would be getting a slap. I know in the PC world some might even call that rape.

I think the whole thing was a massive cultural misunderstanding. We who live here have become used to the fact that Thais communicate subtly but a tourist who has spent just a short time here isn't. Agreed that the Brit was a insufficiently cautious/wary, but he may also have been basing things on what similar interactions back home would mean. In the West sexual signals and communication in general is much more obvious, here it can be very subtle.

Heterosexual Thai men are the same, and it took me some time here to understand that they could and would read sexual interest into what to me were the most innoccous things.

Clearly, the Thai man had no intention to be a rapist or anything of the sort, as indicated by not doing anything the first time the Brit stayed with him. He was probably waiting to get a "sense" of things and likely thoroughly confused by the signals (and lack thereof) from the farang. Eventually decided that his agreement to come and stay a second time and to share a room must have meant he was gay & interested.

Just an unfortunate mix up IMO. Upsetting for the Brit, of course, and a hard way to learn that different cultures communicate differently.

So his first attempt at sexual contact is to wait until the victim is passed out drunk and asleep and perform oral sex on him without consent?

I don't agree that the stupid Brit didn't know what was happening. How could he not know it was a gay meeting? Everyone who uses a computer knows when a guy is hitting on them in social media. Does he live in a closet (maybe) without contact with the outside world when in Britland? Nobody with any reasonable intelligence is that nieve.

As I interpret the comments, it seems that the typical TV poster is offended by what happened because it was same sex. So what if they are gay. Not your business. Live and let live!

I suspect most if not all of those offended would have welcomed and encouraged the situation for themselves had the other person been the opposite sex. Wow, an early morning BJ and I can't wait to tell my friends. How incredibly narrow minded and homophobic. Maybe I expect to much from the old, poorly educated, intolerant farangs on TV who still live in another time period from the distant past.

How incredibly judgemental and ageist you are, young man! You "suspect", do you now? You "suspect" what other people are thinking and then accuse them of being old (as if thats some sort of a crime), poorly educated, intolerant, narrow minded, and homophobic. All because of what you "suspect".

Putting aside the possible naivety of the young Brit, the sex act was apparently unwelcome regardless of whether he was gay or not. If he were gay the advance would perhaps have been a little less unwelcome, but it would still be tantamount to sexual harassment, if not rape. It is a simple fact that straight men find the idea of sex with other men fairly unpleasant, so the question of whether he was gay or not is maybe slightly relevant? Whatever, regardless of the young guys proclivities he was clearly unhappy with the situation. If your immature mind finds any of that poorly educated, intolerant, or old, then that's your problem. If you want to put words in other peoples mouths and then accuse them of being poorly educated and intolerant then thats also your problem. Jeez!

[thaiduncankk]

There are 2 sides to every story.

So far we have so many assumptions, all based on the accusations of 1 naive Brit.

If accessibility was available to any of the Thai man's story, and I hazard a guess that it will not be, things might be different

[kamahele]

Wow, can't believe how many people are shaming the victim. Rape is isn't funny.

[cgphuket]

Sounds like he was paying the rent. move on, next case.

[Jay1]

Chatting to a Thai man online before arriving in Thailand and agreeing to stay at his for free was a ridiculous decision that was only going to end with a problem... Which of course it has.

[Jingthing]

I don't think it was rape. I think there was an assumption of consent but a weak one. I think the British dude has learned a lesson about the real world that most men his age would have already learned.

[LannaGuy]

and if it was a woman? and she did the same would he run to Police? if I was him I'd have got out of there totally embarrassed and feeling pretty dumb and stupid

assuming it wasn't penetration why make a fuss?

[canuckamuck]

He woke up, saw what was happening and said to the Thai guy: "In about 5 minutes or so, I am going to be really mad at you!"

[Wazoo]

Mummy,mummy....A man sucked my cock in thailand..."well,there's one off the bucket list dear.. only another 8 months of your gap year to go. Seems you will have a wonderful time".

[Jingthing]

Sounds like he may be a stereotype of a millennial type and expected the Thai man would have offered him a consent form to sign before proceeding.

[Lorn]

and if it was a woman? and she did the same would he run to Police? if I was him I'd have got out of there totally embarrassed and feeling pretty dumb and stupid

assuming it wasn't penetration why make a fuss?

I probably also wouldn't "make a fuss". But there is a huge double-standard here. If the victim was female and woke up to an older man performing oral sex on her how many would criticise her for running to the police? I bet there would be far less jokes being made about the topic and far more talk about the evils of Thai men.

[Jingthing]

and if it was a woman? and she did the same would he run to Police? if I was him I'd have got out of there totally embarrassed and feeling pretty dumb and stupid

assuming it wasn't penetration why make a fuss?

I probably also wouldn't "make a fuss". But there is a huge double-standard here. If the victim was female and woke up to an older man performing oral sex on her how many would criticise her for running to the police? I bet there would be far less jokes being made about the topic and far more talk about the evils of Thai men.

No. A woman except if mentally impaired getting into bed with a man would expect sex. If she wasn't consenting she would talk about that first before getting into bed with him.

[atyclb]

and if it was a woman? and she did the same would he run to Police? if I was him I'd have got out of there totally embarrassed and feeling pretty dumb and stupid

assuming it wasn't penetration why make a fuss?

I probably also wouldn't "make a fuss". But there is a huge double-standard here. If the victim was female and woke up to an older man performing oral sex on her how many would criticise her for running to the police? I bet there would be far less jokes being made about the topic and far more talk about the evils of Thai men.

No. A woman except if mentally impaired getting into bed with a man would expect sex. If she wasn't consenting she would talk about that first before getting into bed with him.

" A woman except if mentally impaired getting into bed with a man would expect sex."

you have confirmed what i have suspected for a long time. i suspect many of the ladies of ill repute are mentally impaired since they seem to not expect sex, just money.

[Loles]

55555555555555555

But the officer girl at the table .... hmmmmmmmm

[aguy30]

I don't agree that the stupid Brit didn't know what was happening. How could he not know it was a gay meeting? Everyone who uses a computer knows when a guy is hitting on them in social media. Does he live in a closet (maybe) without contact with the outside world when in Britland? Nobody with any reasonable intelligence is that nieve.

As I interpret the comments, it seems that the typical TV poster is offended by what happened because it was same sex. So what if they are gay. Not your business. Live and let live!

I suspect most if not all of those offended would have welcomed and encouraged the situation for themselves had the other person been the opposite sex. Wow, an early morning BJ and I can't wait to tell my friends. How incredibly narrow minded and homophobic. Maybe I expect to much from the old, poorly educated, intolerant farangs on TV who still live in another time period from the distant past.

How incredibly judgemental and ageist you are, young man! You "suspect", do you now? You "suspect" what other people are thinking and then accuse them of being old (as if thats some sort of a crime), poorly educated, intolerant, narrow minded, and homophobic. All because of what you "suspect".

Putting aside the possible naivety of the young Brit, the sex act was apparently unwelcome regardless of whether he was gay or not. If he were gay the advance would perhaps have been a little less unwelcome, but it would still be tantamount to sexual harassment, if not rape. It is a simple fact that straight men find the idea of sex with other men fairly unpleasant, so the question of whether he was gay or not is maybe slightly relevant? Whatever, regardless of the young guys proclivities he was clearly unhappy with the situation. If your immature mind finds any of that poorly educated, intolerant, or old, then that's your problem. If you want to put words in other peoples mouths and then accuse them of being poorly educated and intolerant then thats also your problem. Jeez!

You bring back memories of a really bitchie and annoying 3rd grade teacher that I had. Hated her. It seems you have taken personnal offense to my post. Strike too close to home, did I?

The reference to "old" is appropriate and implies that they are living in the distant past when intolerence and non acceptance of other people was the norm. The world has change but many people here have not and will not.

I considered your comment about "I suspect" and made the following change to reflect my judgemental opinion.

Most if not all of those offended would have welcomed and encouraged the situation for themselves had the other person been the opposite sex. Wow, an early morning BJ and I can't wait to tell my friends. How incredibly narrow minded and homophobic. Maybe I expect to much from the old, poorly educated, intolerant farangs on TV who still live in another time period from the distant past.

[Wilsonandson]

Maybe I expect to much from the old, poorly educated, intolerant farangs on TV who still live in another time period from the distant past.

"Your so charming, I could eat you all up, um"

[aguy30]

Maybe I expect to much from the old, poorly educated, intolerant farangs on TV who still live in another time period from the distant past.

"Your so charming, I could eat you all up, um"

Hmmmm, that sounds like an unsolicited sexual advance.

[fey]

in fact i believe the story

many of those smiles and verbal greetings from thai dudes are not to make a sale like they are commonly from ladies

a thai dude is typically more reserved and a friendly interaction with an unknown foreigner often has a gay element.

next time you hear calls from the shop step in and linger rather then walking away. your going to find a flamer looking to sexual assault.

[MaeJoMTB]

aguy30: "...I suspect most if not all of those offended would have welcomed and encouraged the situation for themselves had the other person been the opposite sex..."

I don't think a woman necessarily would have if she woke up and found a man having sex with her without consent...

I woke up once and a woman was having sex with me without my consent.

And another time,

A woman followed me home from a bar (I was drunk) then overpowered me and had sex without my consent.

It wasn't that big of a deal, they didn't actually harm me.

But it was without my consent, once when I was asleep, once when I said no, but was too drunk to fight her off.

(That was two different women)

Edited March 15, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[Fookhaht]

aguy30: "...I suspect most if not all of those offended would have welcomed and encouraged the situation for themselves had the other person been the opposite sex..."

I don't think a woman necessarily would have if she woke up and found a man having sex with her without consent...

I woke up once and a woman was having sex with me without my consent.

And another time,

A woman followed me home from a bar (I was drunk) then overpowered me and had sex without my consent.

It wasn't that big of a deal, they didn't actually harm me.

But it was without my consent, once when I was asleep, once when I said no, but was too drunk to fight her off.

(That was two different women)

Are you bragging or complaining?

Edited March 15, 2016 by Fookhaht

[MaeJoMTB]

Are you bragging or complaining?

I'm just pointing out, I don't think unwanted sexual advances are that big a deal (in Thailand anyway).

Certainly not worth reporting to the police.

You put yourself in a position where something like that can happen,

Accept it, forget it, move on.

No harm, no foul.

Edited March 15, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[Bluespunk]

"Making someone feel obligated, pressured or forced into doing something of a sexual nature that they don't want to is sexual coercion. This includes persistent attempts at sexual contact when the person has already refused you. Nobody owes you sex, ever; and no means no, always."

Miya Yamanouchi,

[Patsycat]

He shouldn't have rushed off to the police station. He should have got his stuff and gone away, perhaps giving the "rapist" a clip round the ear.

I, as a female, have often slept in male friends beds without sex. But they were friends, not complete strangers. Once we were three in a bed, i was in the middle. Stereo snoring!!

And i've slept with female friends. One is a lesbian, no hanky panky went on at all.

[Jingthing]

Not the same situation.

Also men have a thing called morning wood innit.

Edited March 15, 2016 by Jingthing

[gemguy]

Good Grief Batman....This is a real crime that needs to be solved....and quickly, before Gotham City sinks into the depths of depravity.

[fey]

Are you bragging or complaining?

I'm just pointing out, I don't think unwanted sexual advances are that big a deal (in Thailand anyway).

Certainly not worth reporting to the police.

You put yourself in a position where something like that can happen,

Accept it, forget it, move on.

No harm, no foul.

huh, this guy was not gay and was raped by a man.

no harm, no foul? what ball park to do play in?

[Jingthing]

Rape? Seriously?

[balo]

Maybe he should find a ladyboy next time who offers free accomodation. You should feel safe sharing the room with her.

Most of them are hard working, honest people.

[fey]

my ex neighbor in thailand used to put up travelers in his place for free, couch surfing type deal.

dont think it was sexual but just a way of keeping people around for chat and company.

was it free? seemed like it but i suppose theres a payoff in it for him somewhere.

one does wonder what he was getting out of the deal. most likely showing off his house which was pretty nice ad an ego booster to people who were likely skimping by while traveling.

one large buck said "thanks, buddy" leaving in the morning and i thought "yep, just building some good karma and vibes here, buddy" bum dumb bum bum...

on a side note, i did catch him taming his snake through the villa window one fine evening so there was a sexual urge there even though he had no guests at the time.

[robertthebruce]

Mummy,mummy....A man sucked my cock in thailand..."well,there's one off the bucket list dear.. only another 8 months of your gap year to go. Seems you will have a wonderful time".

Hysterical.......